The Sad & the Pathetic: Issue 34

Hello my lil bundles of sunshine.

The word of the week is “special.” And I have to say. . that Lisa is the most “special” person I’ve
 ever met. She’s so “special” that if we had been in a real city we would probably have been shot
 tonight. Let me explain. . . Lluvia came into to visit her sister, Emma. . whom we all know and love.
 So Lluvia, Emma, Carrie, Lisa, and I went out to dinner. Well, I thought we went together but
 apparently Carrie and Lisa were on a date. We sat in the window and I had a nice view of the street
 so i could people watch. At one point I say, “Oh check that out.” Lisa and Carrie whip around
 completely to stare. That was just the beginning. Apparently “subtle” is not in their vocabulary.
 Waving at everyone who walked by and Lisa did a "special" walk all the way back to the house. *head
 in hands* And as Emma pointed out later after I suggested they get a room. . . .”House booty is bad
 booty.” Sheesh. . .Okay so they’re not going out, I mean after all Carrie has an obsession with John
 Cussak. How could we not know that after she stalked him on the movie set in Chicago. Did I say
 stalk? I meant. . . saw. uh huh. . . Lisa shared some jokes with us at the table. “What do you call a
 woman who has no arms and no legs and is really a man? Give up? Amanda. . . A man duh. *shaking
 head* What is the world coming to? Another thing. Lluvia made fun of my boyfriend. He was walking
 by and he has a small mohawk. Lluvia said he looks like a T-rex. You have a problem with that? I
 picked him at the bowling alley. Carrie and I were supposed to double date with the guy she picked
 up. But you know how it is. Minors always have curfew, plus Carrie has Lisa now. Well I won’t go
 into more of the dinner as my stomach still hurts and I was laughing so hard I was crying. Poor
 Lluvia. Submitted to this kind of nonsense.
	I’m supposed to be writing a paper on the American Presidency. So this is a good
 procrastination technique. I’ve already organized all my files and played snood. (thanks to Emma for
 downloading it on my computer) I stopped with anything having to do with laundry or vacuuming my
 room. I wouldn’t want to get too silly. Which reminds me. . I have to buy some laundry detergent.
 And I’m out of teddy grahams. Yum. The honey ones are the best. Someone suggested chocolate. No!
 If you’re going to consume chocolate do not waste your breathe on chocolate teddy grahams. Just
 say no. 
	Man. . I’m so tired. What an old woman I am. I keep taking naps by accident. Of course I know
 what I’m getting into when I say to myself that I’m going to read on my bed. Yeah right. What a
 joke. I’m reading and the light is too bright so I’ll just rest my head on my book and close my eyes
 for a little bit. Fifteen minutes later I wake up. . darn it. . .I have to say. The harder the book the
 better I sleep. I think I should just replace my pillow with a text book. “Paradoxes of the American
 Presidency” is especially comfy. So I wake up. .  drooling. . I mean. . .groggy. . . and think “oh I’ll just
 lay down on my pillow for twenty minutes and take a real nap. Nope. Try again. So since I can’t sleep
 I’ll just read some more. . zzzzzz. . . 
	Brigitte and I went out to dinner last night. . mmmm. . India Palace. *drooling* I love that
 place. Well if you love it so much why don’t you just marry it? Actually I’m going to buy the ring
 tomorrow. So there. Ha. Samosas. . . chicken biryani. . .hot. Okay I have to stop. . this is driving me
 crazy. Then we went to a book store where I got my next pillow. I used it today. Very soft. I read
 about 13 pages before I dozed off because. . . umm. . . I need to stretch out my back. *shaking head*
 I’m so sad. What am I going to be like when I’m fifty? Useless probably. Mmmm. .  biryani. . must. . ..
  think. .  of . .  something. .  else.
	Emma is brutal. Don’t huff at me. You are. I’m calmly walking to the gym to go play squash with
 Brig. Which was scary in itself. Anyhoo. . . Emma is coming back from something and asks us where
 we are going. “The gym.(duh) Do you ever go to the gym, Emma?” She walks. Ohhh. .. So I start doing
 a silly walk and say. . “Oh I’m going to Lisa’s room(which is across the hall for those of you lucky
 not to .  I mean for those of you unfortunate enough to not know the joy that is Emma and Lisa our
 “special” friend.) and then. . I act out of breathe. . “Whew I better rest.” “Okay now back to my
 room” Now is when Emma gives Brig whatever she is holding and goes for some nasty snow. Oh no you
 don’t.  I made her get white snow. . but I’d already taken off. . I would have been fine if the light
 had turned red so I could cross, but no. Not for me. So she smashes it into my hair. What did I do?
 Finally we cross the street and I ask Batinah and Brig what I did to make Emma come after me. I
 really couldn’t remember. That’s how meaningless it was for me apparently. That and my senility.
 They thought I was kidding. No. . really. . .what did I do? hmmmmm. . . .Stop shaking your head at me.
 It’s not my fault that Emma has a temper. She told me at dinner that I wasn’t invited to her
 wedding. She’s marrying Ricky Martin of course. Did you doubt that? Gay? What do you mean he’s
 gay? You mean he’s really happy right? No, Emma. . he’s not gay. He’s meant for you, and only you.
 Actually not being invited works for me. Because that means I don’t have to buy a gift, but I can
 crash the wedding and still be there. Plus, I heard that weddings are the best places to pick up guys.
 Surely he has a somber pal that just my type. Somber. . not happy. .  get it? *sigh* Whatever. Of
 course, this means I’ll have to break up with T-rex. He won’t be happy about that. I mean I was
 buying his cigarettes for him. Dating older women, even “fake” older women, is sweet. You don’t have
 to worry about that whole ID thing at the local 7-11. 
	Basta! I must go play more snood. .I mean work on my paper.

Have a great day.
ci vediamo
*big super “special” hug*
-Mare