The Sad & the Pathetic: Issue 38

Hello my lil Pasty White Perfection wannabes, 


	I could be relaxing on the beaches in Costa Rica with Emma and Adia by my side. Turning a
 lovely tomato red. I’m telling you. .  red is all the rage with the guys now. Of course Mario, my
 Costa Rican hunk, would stay here safe in my closet. . . But no. . here I am. . in Northampton,
 Massachusetts. What is with that? I should have brought my passport back with me. What would my
 mom think if I just took off for a week? Bought a ticket with my credit card. . . .ahhh. . that would
 be sooo sweet. I can feel the sun on my back and arms now. Mmmmmm. . . . 
	We’re playing assassins in our house. This is where everyone who wants to play gets a water
 gun and is assigned a person to kill. There are all kinds of little rules. . no killing in the house or
 front steps, in classroom or talking to a professor or working. Sheesh. . just take all the fun out of
 it. Well. . . I lasted 55 minutes before I got “taken out”, but luckily I have retained my weapon. A
 purple water gun. I have excellent aim. Oh yes, you know. .  hunting on the ranch. . . .I’m an expert
 marksman.
	So if I can’t be in Costa Rica I might as well pretend. So the second day we were there. For
 some insane reason I said yes it would be okay to wake up at 7 am for some excursion. I must be
 stopped! Satan has possession of my body! Luckily I am once again safe and sleeping until 2 pm. Have
 no fear. My god. . . I just pulled up my shirt sleeve and with the direct sunlight I blinded myself. I
 see the light! . . well at least I don’t have tan lines. But you should see me in shorts. Cars are
 swerving off the road. . . trying to pull down their shades. . .You would think it was because I’m so
 stunning, but alas. . . . Yes, you are wrong too. . . I know shocking. It’s because I’m sooo white. On
 the census I checked other for race and wrote in White-white-white. They wanted me to be
 accurate. I went to a lecture on racism and he said something about the lighter the skin the higher
 you are in the hierarchy. Well. . . . Just call me Empress Mary.  Actually. . .I’m not albino so perhaps
 I’m just a Princess, but the point is all of you would be bowing to me. :-) Except maybe Claire.
 Allora. . . . back to Costa Rica. Being the bright and sunny morning person I am *gag* . . . and of
 course always considerate person let my dad wake up first and take a shower and get dressed and go
 get us a table. Aren’t I sweet. Then I manage to drag myself out of bed. . .into the shower. . . ugh. . .
 . it’s at least 5 hours too early for me at this point. 7. But this is our usual arrangement whenever
 we travel. He wakes up. . “Mary, you are going to get up right?” as he’s leaving the room. “Uh huh. .
  I’m right behind you.” As I turn over in bed. I love the breakfast there! *drooling* I would actually
 eat a real breakfast here if they served that. Fresh fruit. . . mmmm. .  pineapple, watermelon,
 cantaloupe, strawberries. .  oh man. . . . and rice and beans. I wish I could wake up to that tomorrow.
 I need to get Mario busy cooking around here.  From breakfast we loaded up in a bus. Both my dad
 and I hauling around our cameras and film and me with two lens and tons of film, flash. . etc. etc.
 Actually I might have written it down. Let me check in my sketch book. Okay on Jan 17 I have
 written (I make notes for my sad and pathetic) On the plane I got stuck with three blankets and 2
 pillows. Beautiful sunset(burnt sienna, orange, yellow, green-blue, darker blue) and the clouds were
 an orange flame. Leaving the airport felt like the Backstreet Boys. Couldn’t recognize our own last
 name. Met a couple who know Elka who lives in my house here. Started talking to them as were are
 being cattle and following the red line in customs. “How many times have you been here?” None. “Oh
 really. . you seemed to know what you were doing.” That’s my dad folks, always a tourist. Hahahaha. .
 Here’s something I forgot. The first night . . at the hotel there is a jacuzzi about fifteen feet
 away from the pool. So I find this guy and I’m asking him how late we can swim in the jacuzzi, but he
 doesn’t speak English. And he starts making motions signaling that the jacuzzi has stream jets. .
 bubbles. But all this time I know that he didn’t understand what I’m talking about. So I’m making the
 swimming motion and pointing at my watch. I couldn’t stop smiling. It was just so great. I never did
 find out how late I could swim in the jacuzzi. Actually I never got in the water at all.  He was a
 cutie pie. I find that everything I do has some relation to everything else. It’s creepy. I walked
 into the lobby of the hotel and the ginger flowers that I love so much. . . . I had actually bought
 Andrea, Carrie’s sister, some in Chicago for letting me stay there about three days ago. There was
 also a guy in the lobby wearing a Chicago jacket. Weird. Yes, I know that Chicago is a big city. Duh.
 Thanks for the enlightenment. That’s just one sprinkle on the frosting of the cupcake. Now I’m
 going to dinner before I die. 
	So it’s about two weeks after I originally started this. I am so tired I actually don’t feel
 well. That’s something. Since I never get headaches I know that on the rare occasion that I do that
 I’m not treating myself right. I couldn’t get to sleep last night. Ugh. . . laying in bed till at least
 5:30. . . I admit, I’m not the most consistent sleeper, but come on now. Hilary was saying that she
 seems to have trouble sleeping when there’s a full moon. So there was a full moon last night. . . .I
 didn’t grow fangs or suddenly have hair shooting out like Michael J. Fox. What was that movie
 anyway? All I remember is a party where he was supposed to go into a closet to make out with some
 girl and the clouds revealed a full moon and ten you hear “Ouch, you’re hurting me!” And the girl
 comes running out of the closet with her clothes all torn. Other than that. . . I’m guessing
 Werewolf. But who really knows. *shrugs* Certainly not me. I prefer not to make these things some
 sci-fi event. I just blame my dad. He has trouble sleeping sometimes. . and sometimes I do. . . .
 therefore it must be his fault. Case closed.
	Today my poetry class had a reading. Everyone read a couple of poems to a small gathering of
 friends that we had invited. What do you mean I didn’t invite you? You didn’t get my invitation?
 Damn, mail. Completely useless I tell you. So a whole slew of people came just for me. Awwwww. .. *
big hug* I love you too. (I suppose they want their names in here, huh? Is that all I am to you? I
 validate your self-worth? hmmm. . . . well you know who you are. So there. Deal.) I read four poems,
 the last one for Lisa because she asked and I had written a poem about her. I made Lisa a star.
 Superstar! *raising arms* And now everyone knows exactly who she is, she’s lucky I didn’t make her
 bow.  My first book is coming out in June, so if you’re all lucky I’ll give you a discount on it. What
 do you mean free? Hey! I’m a business woman here. I can’t just go giving away my profit. Sheesh
 people.
	And now just because I yearn to be as cool as Jon Stewart from the Daily Show. Here is your
 moment of sven. What? It rhymes with zen. I can’t just completely steal it from him. He might sue
 me. Profits people. If I lost all my money then Lisa wouldn’t want to date me for my money. Not
 that she does because of course she’s going out with Carrie and I’m with Emma. You don’t think
 Emma likes me for my money do you? I mean I know I’m shallow and I’d date Lisa for her sweet new
 car, but. . . . shallow. .  Joey! I love Joey. Hmmmm. . . and hugs. So back to sven. 

The Suggestion


Sunlight tiptoes under the curtains
on a Sunday afternoon.
Cocooned, I listen to his awful
suggestion, as chimes fly unbidden
from my throat.
luxurious, languid, lazy.
A sigh seeps suddenly.
Cat arching her back, my
hands reach to push the sun away,
but it dances from my fingertips.
Toes peeping, and as prompted,
escapes “I am so cute.”



Have a great day everyone. 
*big hugs*
ci vediamo
-Mare


	
(Did you know that “cutie” is not a word in my spell check? What kind of people enter the words on
 this puppy. . . )