The Sad & the Pathetic: Issue 43

Well my cuddle bugs, 


Life is just a lonely highway. I'm out here on the open road.  Old enough to see behind me, but young
 enough to feel my soul.  I don't want to lose you, baby, and I don't want to be alone. Don't want to
 end my days without you, but for now I've got to be without you. I've got a pocket full of money and
 a pocket full of keys that have no bounds, but when I think of lovin', I just can't get you off my
 mind. 

	I don't know about you people, but if I had a pocket full of money right now that consisted of
 more than 3 pennies, 2 dimes, a quarter, and a couple of crumpled ones I would be buying a plane
 ticket somewhere to a location near you. Or perhaps near the exotic beaches of some location so
 that I could drowned myself in suntan lotion and enjoy a swim in the bluest water I've ever seen.
 Would you like to come? As long as I've got money like Lenny here, you can be my flavor for a while
 as well. All I ask is for a hot guy to walk by occasionally and a victim to use my pick-up lines on.
 Baby, you are so hot you make the elastic melt in my underwear. Grrrrrrr. . . .Now you may ask why
 not use your pick-up lines on the hot guys who walk by? Oh please. . . . for the most part they aren't
 worth it. That doesn't mean that I don't appreciate a hot guy. I'd just rather not talk about how
 big his biceps are for an hour *snoring* Just give me a funny guy who has a great smile and I am set
 for about 6 hours. Sexy guys worry me, frat and serious jocks bore me, dull guys put me to sleep,
 and shy guys I never even talk to because they don't approach me and I don't approach them. Mean
 guys aren't attractive no matter what they look like. Stupid guys drive me crazy in a bad way, and
 great guys drive me crazy in a good way. So who does that leave? Great guys. . . . Hellooo. . . my
 number is (***)750-****. . . . you know what to do. *wink* Of course advertising my phone number to
 people who already know it doesn't help, does it. Oh well. . . 

Oh babe, can't you see. This is killing me. I don't want to push you baby and I don't want you to be
 told. It's just that I can't breathe without you. It's like I’m going to lose control. I've got a
 pocket full of money and a pocket full of keys that have no bounds, but when it comes to lovin', I
 just can't get you off my mind. Ah, no I can't. 

	The other day I went into Border's to look up some books on dreaming. The only thing they had
 was Freud, whose entire interpretation of dreams for women basically says that we are all obsessed
 with sex and our fathers. Now I'll admit that I'm a daddy's girl. I limit my obsessions though. The
 last guy I had an obsession for  was the lead singer of Better Than Ezra. I decided to stalk him.
 And I did. For three hours or so. The entire time he was on stage I knew where he was. Sara knows
 what I'm talking about. And when I got back to Cutter I told everyone I was stalking him. They
 asked, "Where is he now?" Hmmm. . I don't know. I guess I'm a failure as an obsessed fan. Although
 I did find their web site and wrote a comment or two. I actually got an e-mail back from them. I
 wonder if I could find it again. 
	So back to Border's. . . instead of that I ended up picking up a couple of other books in the
 psychology section. Interesting reading. I got part way into a book called "Why we fall in Love" and
 it talked about whether love is blind, the factors of appearance, personality, relative location to
 one another, etc, etc. The next chapter that I didn't get to was do opposites attract or do
 similarities? Perhaps you're thinking, Mary, shame on you. Using a bookstore like a library. $30
 dollars for a book that I don't want to own? I don't think so. . . ask Lenny to cough up the dough.
 He's the one with the pocket full of money. Perhaps you're thinking why a book about falling in love?
 Well, I was in that section(psychology) and I wasn't really interested in reading about Freud's
 misgivings on women, mental disturbances, depression, autism, and other such items.

	 Alright actually I just pretty much finished the book. Yes, this would require a time lapse.
 Very perceptive of you. Very interesting book I must say. And I was wrong about the title. Falling
 in Love: Why we choose the lovers we do. Well, I personally base is solely on the size of their bank
 account. Of course this is obvious from the great number of deep emotional relationships I've had
 with rich men vs poor men. Last night I was on the phone with Adia and she started playing scrabble
 with her mom while we were talking so I was helping her out. She said, "My first word was "brain"
 and my mom's was. . . I don't remember. I said, my first words were "marry rich" and "trust fund"
 because I thought she was talking about as a baby. She meant on the scrabble board. And then we
 figured out the mix up and she asks, "Are you serious?" hahaha. . . You're cute, babe. 

Am I a fool to think that there’s a little hope. Yeah yeahhhhhheee yeah. Tell me baby, yeah . What are
 the rules the reasons and the do’s and don’ts. Yeah yeahhhhhheee yeah. Tell me baby tell me baby,
 yeah. What do you feel inside? I’ve got a pocket full of money. And a pocket full of keys that have
 no bounds. Oh yeah, but when it comes down to lovin’, I just can’t get you off of my mind, yeah. I
 just can’t get you off of my mind, yeah. 

	One of the nice aspects of the book was that it would relate things Greek myths. The section
 that talked about beauty said that men find appearance much more important initially. They are
 usually required to make the first move and so they tend towards someone who they find attractive,
 while women often are attracted to men who they find interesting. Of course this is all a general
 overview. So the related story was of Pygmalion and Galatea. Basically, this sculptor decided after
 I guess his last break up that he would never love again and set about to sculpt the most beautiful
 woman. She was so beautiful that as he neared completion he would stop and stare at her for hours.
 When the time came where another alternation to this marble beauty would only serve to make her
 less than she was. He fell in love with his art and prayed to Aphrodite who in turn made her a real
 woman. This is a great idea for me. I could sculpt the perfect man. My only problem is what is a
 perfect man? I have no clue. Of course excessively beautiful women have problems being approached.
 That must be my problem. So I can't be the goddess of love because that's taken. I'm already the
 queen of the sad and pathetic. How about Goddess of hugs? I'll have to think of a good name. Any
 suggestions? 
	Another subject brought up was that a study of couple who got married found that maybe 35%
 lived close to each other and as the distance between the two grew in terms of separate housing the
 percentage decreased as well. Single guys living around here. . . . well there is yahoo guy. Oooh,
 aaaah . .. my ankle. But that's marriage and a whole other ball game, that I'm not even interested in
 hitting a home run in yet.   

Allora. . . . basta! I have a lot of work to do if I'm going to fake spraining my ankle with a convincing
 act. 

*big hugs* 
ci vediamo 
-Mare