The Sad & the Pathetic: Issue 48

Hello there, 

So it is the new millennium I suppose and it's been advertised in 20 different spellings and symbols
 so frequently that I'm already tired of it. How fitting. . . . what has it brought us? Tragedy I tell
 you. . . . all kinds of super duper deluxe items that are new and improved. Although that seems like a
 complication in itself. Can something be new if it's improved? The very idea of something being
 improved implies that it was already there. . therefore negating the fact that it's new, but what do
 I know? Advertisers buy the rights on the wrong spelling of a word just to have access to what it
 implies. And we wonder why we can't spell? Millennium, millinium, milenium, etc, etc. . . . and that's
 just one example. 
	I went to Panchos, a horrible Mexican restaurant, with Kathy on Saturday night. Adia is
 shuddering as we speak and calling her therapist. What can I say? It's so bad it's good. Well
 they've added something new. Therefore an 'improved' Panchos? Alas, no. The waiters now on the
 hour do a dance. We were witnesses to one of these fiascoes. I was seriously humiliated for them.
 They stand in a line and proceed to do a 'dance' such as the macarena, then they walk about the
 restaurant still doing it. Luckily, I didn't witness the macarena. Kathy started laughing really
 loudly and moving to the beat. (Crack kills kids, don't do it.) I just looked at her, "You've got to be
 kidding. I don't know you." Later I asked the waiter how often they dance and what they make.
 Apparently, minimum wage. What? I hope he gets amazing tips. 
	For more 'new' items of the millennium. . . on a slurpy run to 7-11, they now sell bubble gum( I
 know shocking, shush) in new flavors. Bologna. And let's not forget the all time favorite, wieners. *
gagging* Oh my god. . . . I don't even like real bologna. How do you flavor bologna gum? Seriously. Do
 you even know what they make bologna out of? If you say 'yes' you're lying. NO ONE knows. Not
 really. I also won't eat those vienna sausages in the can. Ugh. . . Scott used to eat both. He loved
 it. Just say no. Not only do they supposedly taste like them, but they're also shaped as their
 respective counterparts. Instead of freshening your breath with winter fresh, or my favorite
 peppermint. . . . you can have the fresh smelling breath of bologna. Sounds kissable. Can you imagine
 the commercial? "Inside your mouth it's a hot 98 degrees, but with Oscar Meyer Bologna gum. . .
 it's much! much! porkier!" Ew. 
                                             

I hope you're all great. *huge hugs* 

ci vediamo 
-Mare 

p.s. Quote of the day is from the man who just wishes he could beat me at gin and dominoes. Keep
 dreaming. ' Look, I like to be force-fed religious dogma as much as the next guy...but come on. '