: Chapter 2: I'm Fine

"What was up with the salad thing?"

"What?"

"The salad. Why did you get so mad when I wanted you to order something else?"

Bailey took off his coat and draped it over the back of our couch. I did the same with mine.

"I didn't get mad, Bailey. I just wasn't hungry. That's all."

"Well you could have told me that."

"I-- I'm sorry, Bay. I should have," I said, looking into his eyes.

"Hey, it's all right." He pushed my hair back behind my ears. "You look tired. Maybe you should go to sleep."

"Yeah." I gave him a hug.

"You okay?" he asked, stroking my hair. I nodded. "You sure?"

"Mmm-hmm. I'm fine." I walked to the bedroom. I didn't even change out of my clothes. I just collapsed on the bed and folded a pillow up underneath me. I was only pretending to be asleep when Bailey entered the room and unlaced my boots, quietly sitting them on the floor. I didn't sleep at all that night. Well, I may have dozed off and on, but I was up thinking.

I snuck out of bed when I was sure that he was fast asleep and went into the bathroom. Standing in front of the full-length mirror that hung on the back of the door, I studied myself. Every flaw. I lifted my sweater to the see my ribcage and pinched at the skin around my stomach. "Fat," I whispered. "Just look at you," I thought. "How disgusting. You shouldn't have eaten anything at the restaraunt. You should have lied." "That's it," I said out loud. I laid down on the grey throw rug and pulled my knees up. "One, two, three, four..." My heart pounded like it never had before as I sat up over and over again, hoping that it would help just a little bit. My face grew hot as my cheeks flooded red, and I suddenly realized that this used to be a lot easier when I was in gym class. Condensation formed on my forehead, and I could feel my chest thumping as my heart sped up.

"Sarah?" Bailey knocked on the door.

"What?" I was startled.

"Are you...counting?"

"No."

"Are you sure? Because I heard--"

"It must have been the neighbors. I'm going to take a shower." I turned on the bathtub faucet before he had a chance to answer.