The neighbors are fighting again. Broken glass, degrading words, muffled screams. You know what's going on... but what do you do? Do you pick up the phone and call for help? or do you just pretend you don't hear her cries? Think about it.
Pretend, just for a moment, that you are in her shoes, that YOU are the one being backed into a wall, being made to feel so worthless. You are used to this situation. After all, it happens nearly every night. You've memorized the drill. "He shouldn't be doing this," you tell yourself, but you can never find the strength to leave. Sometimes, you think you deserve it, but that's mostly because he says you do. Bruises and blood are all too familiar... This could be you, even when you're in high school. Scary, huh?
Getting caught up in a violent relationship is easier than you think. Getting out is even harder. In 1996, it was estimated that at least 1 in 8 girls will experience some form of abuse during their high school years. There is no typical abuser. He can be of any nationality and come from any background, wealthy or not. Nor is there a typical victim. You may not think it can happen to you. You're "too smart to get caught up in such a thing." However, this is a blind assumption. It can happen to anyone, no matter how smart they may or may not be.
This is a subject that is shrouded in secrecy. Many people think that it doesn't happen at all. In spite of this, statistics show that one battering occurs every 15 seconds.
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10...11..12...13...14...15.
Some woman somewhere was just battered.
It may be shocking to realize that nearly one fourth of all hospital and emergency room visits are results of domestic violence. At least 31% (one third) of American women will be abused at some point in her lifetime. One fifth were abused as a child. In addition, one third had mothers who were abused.
With all of these statistics, it is easy to see that it could just as likely happen to any happen to any high school girl. The sons of the most violent parents are 1000 times as likely to be abusive to their partners in the future.
At first, the girl might not know what's evolving. But soon, the message is clear. The little innocent punches turn into bruises, and it all happens so fast, she feels she's drowning. And, so a natural reaction is to hide it, for fear of disappointing those she loves. Extreme dependence on her boyfriend occurs because he uses control to convince her that she can't live without him, he's the only one who will ever love her, and it's her fault he hits her. He tears down her self-esteem, leaving her with thoughts that "If only I had (fill in the blank), he never would have hit me." Her grades start to drop; her friends drift away because he consumes so much of her time. A girl who was once self-sufficient and confident has been made to feel weak and worthless.
The truth is that she could live a much more contented life if he would just disappear off the face of the earth. But, she cannot see her way out. What she needs is a support system. If people keep leaving her, she loses that support, and in the end, she is left with him.
