Dr. Hansen looked at the chart in her hands and called the name out into the waiting area. “Amanda Wilkinson?”
A small teenaged girl grabbed her purse and jacket and slowly stood up. As she made her way over to the curtain, Syd sensed that something was terribly wrong with her. “Hi,” Syd said with a smile. “What seems to be the problem, Amanda?”
The young girl looked weary and replied, “I, uh, kinda slipped in the shower this morning. I think I might have broken a rib or something.”
“Oh,” said Dr. Hansen. “Well, let’s get that checked out for you, okay? I need you to hop up here for me.” Syd pointed to the examining table. “Do you need some help?”
“No, I’ve got it.”
Syd let Amanda try, but she knew the task was too hard. “Here,” she said and gently lifted Amanda up onto the seat. “Seems to be giving you a lot of trouble.”
“It’s not so bad.”
“I’m gonna need you to raise your shirt just a little bit so I can examine your ribcage.”
Amanda looked at the floor and then up at the ceiling, and tears welled up in her eyes. Syd noticed and said, “Amanda, if you don’t let me see, I can’t help you.” She cautiously helped Amanda lift her shirt. As soon as she did, Dr. Hansen felt a sickness in her stomach and whispered to herself, “Oh my god.” But, Sydney kept her composure even though she’d been scared to death by the welts, and red marks, and bruises. She knew that this had been no accident. By the time she was able to look the girl in the face, she saw that Amanda was crying. She quickly pulled her shirt back down and prepared to get off of the table. Syd stopped her by grabbing her arm. “Wait.”
Amanda cringed and shivered like she was scared. Syd was shocked.
“I have to go.”
“Just wait a minute.” Dr. Hansen looked into Amanda’s eyes. “Who’s been doing this to you?”
“I told you; I slipped in the shower.”
“Amanda, I know you couldn’t have gotten that by slipping in the shower. Now tell me the truth. Who’s been hurting you?”
Amanda didn’t answer. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I knew I shouldn’t have come here.”
“If you didn’t want help, then you wouldn’t have come,” Dr. Hansen replied. “I still have to examine you to make sure you haven’t broken a bone. You’re gonna have to lie back and stay still. I know this is gonna hurt.” As Dr. Hansen applied pressure to the ribcage, Amanda started to cry again. Syd then apologized. “Okay, I’m going to order some x-rays to rule out fractures, and I’m going to prescribe some Vicodin for the pain.” Dr. Hansen paused. “Amanda. Look at me.”
She slowly raised her head, tried to keep eye contact, but wasn’t able to. “I’m fine,” she finally said. “I’ve got to go.”
“Sweetheart, you’re not fine. And you’ll never be fine unless you get out of there.”
“I love him, and he loves me.” She had admitted it at last. Just what Dr. Hansen was waiting for.
“You couldn’t possibly love someone who is beating you to death.” Syd brushed Amanda’s hair out of her face with her hand. “Are you sure you want to deal with this for the rest of your life? You know what will happen if you stay.”
“Yeah, I do. But I’m dealing with that.”
“But, Amanda, you shouldn’t have to deal with that. I have seen too many women die from the situation you’re in. They still went back even after they were warned not to. You don’t want to end up like them, do you?”
Amanda thought. “I don’t want to die, Dr. Hansen, but he won’t let me leave.”
Just then, Izzy opened the curtain. Dr. Hansen and Amanda stopped talking.
“Izzy, can I see you for a moment?”
“Sure, Dr. Hansen.
They stepped out into the waiting area by the nurses’ station. “Izzy, I need x-rays for Amanda Wilkinson of the ribcage and both arms for fractures new or previous.”
Izzy looked back at the curtain and replied, “What a shame.”
“Exactly.”
“She’s just a little girl.”
Dr. Hansen sighed. “I know. Thanks, Izzy.”
“Sure.”
Syd walked back over to the curtain area and said, “Amanda, if you want to talk, we can go to my office,” to which Amanda nodded. She helped her off of the table and slowly walked to the back of St. Claire’s to Dr. Hansen’s office. “Izzy, when you’re ready for Amanda, she’ll be in my office.”
“Okay,” Izzy replied.
Dr. Hansen closed the door behind them. “Have a seat,” she said and pointed to the couch. She held Amanda’s hands to help her sit down, and Syd took a seat right beside her.
“How long has this been going on?”
“About three years.”
“Since you were 16? And you didn’t tell anyone?”
“No; I couldn’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because he told me not to. He has kept me under his thumb, telling me what I can and can’t do. And if I defy him, this is what happens.” She pointed to her stomach. “Well, actually, it happens no matter what I do, but... you know.” She shrugged her shoulders.
Dr. Hansen couldn’t believe what she was being told. She just closed her eyes and shook her head.
Amanda continued, “You’d think that a human being with any common sense wouldn’t allow something like this. But he’s not always like that. He brings me flowers and gifts, and he’s just so sweet sometimes.” She wiped the tears from her eyes. “But then something happens, and it sets him off.”
“And he beats you.” By that time, tears were rolling, one after another, down Syd’s face. She felt so sorry for her. For having to grow up so fast, just thinking about what she had to go home to. It was all too much. Not long after that, Izzy took Amanda to get the necessary x-rays.
When the results came back, Syd was eager to see them but scared of what she might find. She took them out of the envelope marked “Wilkinson, A.” and clipped them onto the light box.
“Hey, Izzy,” Dr. Hansen called out into the clinic.
Izzy stepped into view at the end of the hallway. “Yes, Dr. Hansen?”
“Could you come take a look at this?"
“Yeah, sure.”
“No fracture in the ribs. But look... one, two... three... four,” Syd said as she pointed to the light grey lines among the bones. “He’s broken her arms four times. Why didn’t she tell me?”
“Maybe she was scared. Dr. Hansen, this is a complicated situation. You have to understand where she’s coming from.”
“And you don’t think I do?”
Izzy made no comment. She knew better.
Syd opened her office door to find Amanda still sitting on the couch. “Amanda,” she said. “Why didn’t you tell me he’s broken your arms four times?”
“I don’t know.”
“You shouldn’t be afraid of me. I’m here to help. You can be honest.”
“I know that. I’ve just kept it to myself for so long that I didn’t think anyone would believe me. I’ve learned how to pretend it doesn’t happen. I know how to hide a black eye. You just have no idea.”
“Sure, I do.”
“No, you don’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
Amanda shrugged her shoulders.
“When I was in college, I dated this guy. I thought he was the guy I was meant to marry. One night, we went out, and we were walking down the street. He pointed out this really skinny, gorgeous blond and he told me, ’You should want to look like her for me.’ I got offended and said no, that I wouldn’t change the person I was because he wanted me to. And then he reared back his fist and punched me in the face. Yeah, I learned how to hide a black eye too. And you know how I explained the other bruises he ended up giving me?”
Amanda shook her head. “How?”
“Said I slipped in the shower.”
“How’d you get through it?”
“I finally stood up for myself. Told him that he couldn’t get to me anymore. He got mad, and beat me, and I never saw him again. Even though I was sore for days after that, I knew that I was finally free. He figured out that he couldn’t control me anymore.”
“Do you still think about it?”
“Not so much anymore. Not as much as I used to. I used to cry every night, wondering why I had let myself get in so deep. But I am doing better now. I could never have made it to where I am today if I had stayed with him. But, you’ve got to keep quiet. You’re the only person I’ve ever told about this.”
Amanda nodded.
“We’ve got to stick together,” Syd said and made Amanda smile. “So, what about you? What’s your story?"
She felt like she owed Dr. Hansen the truth. After all, she had just shared a huge secret with her. They were on the same team. She thought a moment and said, “I grew up with Josh. We had done everything together since we were two. Everything. But then one day, it... changed. All of the sudden, we weren’t playing baseball together, we were holding hands. He told me he loved me before either of us really knew what that meant. He said all of the kissing and hugging wasn’t enough for him. He wanted... more.” She tried to clear the lump in her throat and sighed. “But, I didn’t want to. I’m a strong believer in God, and I believe it is wrong to do that when you aren’t married. And I refused. I saw it coming. He raised his hand and slapped me across the face -- hard.” Tears had begun to stream. “And he... took me down to the lake by our houses... He wouldn’t let me get up...” She was shaking uncontrollably, and Syd tried to calm her down. She hugged her close to comfort her the best she knew how. Amanda was still talking through her tears, out of breath and in broken phrases. “He hit me... over... and over... again... And I forgave him!”
“Shhhhhh...” Syd whispered in a motherly way. “I won’t let him hurt you anymore. I promise. I promise. I won’t let him.” ............
