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Here, I will answer them the best that I can,
and some are only the way the steps and God, have been
working in my life.
If I answer some too strong, I am sorry, but a
high is a high, and it doesn't matter
what substance was used to get it.
Some answers come from the best way I can remember
my 43 year, clean and sober sponsor telling me.
These are only my opinions, and not AA as a whole.
What is Alanon?
Alanon is an organization of men and women
where the partner, spouse, loved one, or relative
have been associated with an alcoholic or addict.
They use the same 12 steps as A.A. and usually
do not drink or drug.
To find out more click the Alanon link below.
(From the Alanon World Service Web Site)
To the Potential Newcomer
Your inquiry is confidential and anonymous. If you are concerned about someone else's drinking, we encourage you to browse our web site for information about our program. Call 888-4AL-ANON, Monday through Friday, 8 am to 6 pm ET for meeting information.
Al-Anon's Purpose
To help families and friends of alcoholics recover from the effects of living with the problem drinking of a relative or friend. Similarly, Alateen is our recovery program for young people. Alateen groups are sponsored by Al-Anon members.
Our program of recovery is adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous and is based upon the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and Twelve Concepts of Service.
The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.
Al-Anon/Alateen is not affiliated with any other organization or outside entity.
Groups
Al-Anon meetings are held in 115 countries. There are over 24,000 Al-Anon and over 2,300 Alateen groups worldwide.
Literature and Materials
Our publications are based upon the shared experience of our membership and their application of Al-Anon's principles to their lives. Our literature is available in 30 languages.
Mutual Support
Whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not, Al-Anon offers hope and recovery to all people affected by the alcoholism of a loved one or friend.
This web site is created and maintained by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. (the "World Service Office" or WSO), Virginia Beach, Virginia. The World Service Office is the international headquarters for Al-Anon and Alateen worldwide.
Al-Anon/Alateen International Section
What is AlaTeen?
AlaTeen is an organization of young
people, of all ages, who use the same 12 steps.
They hold their own meetings and share their
lives and their experience, strength and hope
with each other on how they stop drinking and drugging.
My hat off, to all, that are members.
There is no age limit.
Do I have to believe in God to go to AA meetings.?
No.! But find a person, group, or thing that is stronger then you.
How do I know I am an Alcoholic or Addict?
Try some control drinking. Try drinking 1/2 of a beer or drink or taking your medication as prescribed by your doctor. If you can't, we need you, and you need us. If you can go days without drinking or drugging but really get drunk or high over problems in life, or when you are extremely happy, or down, you need the directions of living life according to the 12 steps and the "Big Book".
What do you mean Grateful Recovering Alcoholic or Addict?
{The following are only my words}
I believe I was chosen by God to be an Alcoholic to find a new relationship with HIM. God, wanted me to take a strong look at myself, improve myself and help other alcoholics in return. In return, I was given a new way of life, a new understanding of myself and God. He made me an alcoholic, to carry the message and help others, lonely, sad, depressed, and in need of a true friend. Now by stopping drinking or drugging I have been given a new peace and happiness. I see now, that to give is to receive. I see Him working in reality in my life and others. I am truly grateful to be an alcoholic else I would not have this peace or contentment God has give me thru me trying to live the 12 steps and directions of living life as described in the Big Book of Alcohloics Anonymous. I am grateful to be alive and watch a flower grow, the sun set, one helping another. I am grateful not to be a cheat, liar, thief or con any more. If I slip back into those patterns I know where to go to restore myself back to sanity, thanks to God giving me that piece of paper to get signed some ten years ago. How selffish and stupid was I, not to see Him asking me if I wanted help. If I had not been an alcoholic, I don't think I would have found my new relationship with God, and this new me I have inside.
How do I find an AA, Alanon or NA meeting?
Check your local phone book, under Alcoholics Anonymous, or Nacotics Anonymous. Call any Alanon, Alateen, or NA information. I am sure they will try to help you, concerning any area you are concerned about.
How do I get to a meeting? I don't have transportation!
Call a local group. Explain your situation. Just ask for ride over the phone. More then likely, they will be glad to pick you up and give you a ride. Don't be discouraged if you get turned down.!! All of us have jobs, homes, and families and things going on in our lives. Simply try again.
Why should I go to a meeting? The last one was pathetic!
Not all meetings are going to be exactly what you like. Take from the meeting what you need and like, leave the rest. Remember! Its your life! Alcohol, drugs and the over doing of prescriptive pills will kill you! Remember that our disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful. Make sure those things you don't like, are not what you need to improve in yourself. The smallest word or sentence at that meeting, may save your life and be an answer to some of your problems. Go to a meeting for yourself. "To Thine Own Self Be True". Try not to get too wrapped up in others' personal lives. Look for those living the steps and Book in their normal daily lives. Look for those in the "solution" not dwelling in the problem. The next meeting will probably will bring a different person to it. Don't give up on that group, but see what you can learn about yourself.
Page 67."We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. we cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one".
What is a dry drunk?
A "dry drunk", is when we are not happy living in sobriety. We are not living and practicing the principles of the 12 steps. We are not living them. We are not working on ourselves and a conscious contact with God. Many times this comes when we stop calling, or seeing our sponsor, goint to meetings, sharing in meetings, or associating in the fellowship. We have not drank or drugged, but life does not seem good or content. Have faith there is a solution. Ask Him for help, go to meetings, share, call your sponsor, read the book. Do another 4th and 5th step.!! This too shall pass.
Are you upset or angry with some one?
When and Do I need a sponsor?
When? At the first or second meeting, before or after one. Find some one that has some time in the program. One with one month is better then none at all, but it was suggested to me to find one that has at least 5 years clean and sober and living the steps.
Who do you want to work on your car? A mechanic one week out of mechanic school? or one that has been on the job fixing cars for five years?
Yes! you need a sponsor. It was Bill talking to Bob and their conscious contact with God and them doing the steps that maintained their sobriety.
Do I have to go to meetings every day??!!???
It is suggested in early sobriety, to make 90 meetings in 90 days. Thereafter, my sponsor suggested to go to meetings when I felt like it, when I didn't feel like it and inbetween. For the people I have sponsored, that have gained a year or more, clean and sober time, I suggest to go to meetings extremely all the time, but not to the point of getting in the way of mature responsibilty. We are trying to learn how to live productively. Your job, washing clothes, cleaning your home, fixing the car, weddings, funerals, your son's or daughter's graduation is an important part of you living the steps outside the AA or NA doors, and your sobriety. But!!..never put any thing, infront of a meeting or discussion with your sponsor when you feel your spirituality or sobriety is in jeporady. Try to find the common ground. Use the phone to call some one in the program if you can't make a meeting.
What is a slip? Can I still go back to meetings?
A "slip" is the term we use when some one has acquired some clean and sober time and has went back out to drink or drug some more.
YES! the members will gratefully welcome you back. Our saying is you have to give it away to keep it, related to
the words of Step 12.
Your sharing is a reminder to us, what it was like.
Can I claim my sobriety date? I didn't drink alcohol but I did some pot or drugs or over did my prescriptive pills!!
In my opinion, a high is a high, does not matter how you got it. My response is definately NO. Find out what was bothering you, or what you were running from to want to get high or drunk. Step Four is a good way of finding out. Yes!, even if you had done one before.
In Step 4, what do you mean Assets and Liabilities?
*A business does not inventory only the invaluable stock on hand, but the valuable too!.* It would be unlogical to only inventory the damaged goods. *Therefore, after examining our grosser handicaps, and resentments, and finding some solution to them, don't forget to look at your positive, good, kind, character assets, such as job talents, achievements, etc., to even better your life. We are good, intelligent people. Don't be afraid of Step Four, God and the fellowship is with you.
What is the Third Step Prayer?
Page 63.
"God, I offer myself to Thee--to build with me and to do with me as thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy Will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy will always".
What is the Seventh Step Prayer?
Page 76.
"My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go ut from here, to do your bidding. Amen".
Do I have to do Step 4 Again? I did one.
Does any business inventory stock on hand, remain the same? Nope. Items are sold, replaced, improved, removed. The answer is YES. Stock on hand has changed.!!
I am Sober and Clean a long/short time. Why am I so down?
Try taking a positive attitude towards any thing or situation in your life. Even death! Are we not being self-centered? We lived in chaos and a not-so spiritual world for a long time, we must think "positive" and with a spiritual contact. The glass is now, half full. Enjoy life! Enjoy the fellowship! Go to a meeting, call your sponsor. Call some one in the program living the steps.
Should I leave my drunk or addict husband, wife or love? I am trying to stop.
What can I do?????? I CAN't STAY CLEAN AND SOBER.
First, determine why not.
1. Are you going to meetings?
2. Are you calling your sponsor?
3. Are you living Step 10. continued to take personal inventory?
4. Are you trying to help another alcoholic or addict?
5. Are you doing any service work?
6. Are you sharing in meetings?
7. Are you reading at least one paragraph a day in the Big Book?
8. Are you doing Step 11? Improving your conscious contact with God?
9. Are you doing our primary purpose? To Carry the message?
10.Have you done Step 4 and 5?.
If you answered NO, to any one or more, of the above, you now know why you can't stay sober and clean.
I am an Alcoholic or Addict. Can I go to Alanon meetings?
Sure!!~ At 2 years, sober and clean, I was suggested to go. Keep in mind some AA and Alanon meetings are "closed" meetings. Inquire prior to beginning of meeting to the chair person.
A "closed" alanon meeting, means it was meant only for alanon members.
It never hurts to learn how to handle subjects like boundaries, limitations, feelings, guilt trips, enabling, and more discussed using our same 12 steps.
Can I Email You and trust you to be Discreet?
YES!
Can I Email You About Other Problems??
YES! AA, Alanon and AlaTeen are living programs.
Step One begins "WE".
Did Bill Wilson take the money from meetings
and from the sale of books for his mistress???
NO! Definately not! Email Dick B. The person who told you this is spiritually sick.
and more then likely is cheating on his own wife or husband. We need to pray for the person who told this.
I have read many letters in the early history of Bill's life and none indicate him even cheating on his wife, muchless the AA money fact. More then likely, the person who told you this has cheated on their sobriety, is over doing prescriptive drugs, smokeing pot, or drinking some in secret. More then likely, this person has a very bad relationship problem with his wife/husband or non-marriage relationship. Stay away from this person as much as possible. He or she has no spirituality, is not living AA or Alanon, and is bad for you to communicate with.
I Speak Spanish. Where can I find Spanish AA on the world web?
Alcohólicos Anónimos
Where are Chats and Online Meetings on AOL?
A&R Chats & Online Meetings [Keyword: A&R CHAT]
Where can I find AA on the world web?
Alcoholics Anonymous
Where can I find information about AA groups in my Country or State?
Alcoholics Anonymous Central Offices, Intergroup and Answering Services
Where can I find International AA info?
International General Service Offices
Where can I find TEXAS AA groups?
Alcoholics Anonymous Intergroup Texas
Where can I find Alanon and ACOA Chats and Meetings on AOL?
Freedom Place -- Al-Anon and ACOA Meetings
Where can I find 24 hour Open AA chats on AOL?
Friends of All - 24 Hour Open Chat
Should I get More then One Sponsor?
It is good to have another temp sponsor, or
another person in the program, with some CLEAN and sober time, close to you, that you can discuss issues that upset or affect your daily life. I don't suggest two sponsors though, nor one of the opposite sex. We are human, and nature takes it's course. Especially when we enter a new world, new life, it can be lonely with new friends and people who don't understand us. We tend to try to fill the gap with anothers' closeness.
If you want female suggestions, try a dating service. One of the worse lines of denial, I hear, is "well if I can't control myself, some thing is wrong with my spirituality and the way I am living the steps!!". This is very true.! You can have opposite AA, NA, Alanon, Alateen, partner friends, but lets get honest here!. Examine your motives, regardless of age.
I think God would have had some thing to do with Bill and Ann building the foundation, rather then Bill and Bob relating to each other. It was Bills' bond to Bob, not Bill and Ann, who set out on their vigorous course of building AA.
Although, I must note, according to Dick B., Ann was the spiritual foundation, incorporated into AA.
After I attended a couple of sponsorship meetings, it seemed this to be mine and two other groups conclusion that it is hard enough to throughly follow the directions of one.
When taking a travel trip any where, do we not chose one scheduled route?. I suggest, to use one sponsor, but have a temp, and tell this person, so is the case.
If you get too many opinions, and suggestions, it is hard to make up your mind which is the best for you and your sober life. Try using the suggestion of one, even if you don't like it, and let God do the rest.
If original sponsor is not available, act on words of temp sponsor.
What is 13 stepping?
It is the term used when some one in the program is there only to find a love or sexual partner and is not using spiritual principles in a friendship or sponsorship accquaintance.
The individual is not at the meeting, or step function, to improve his/her sobriety, but solely to find a dating partner.
What are the traditions?
{From AA Facts of the World Service Web Site}
During its first decade, A.A. as a fellowship accumulated substantial experience which indicated that certain group attitudes and principles were particularly valuable in assuring survival of the informal structure of the Fellowship. In 1946, in the Fellowship’s international journal, the A.A. Grapevine, these principles were reduced to writing by the founders and early members as the Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. They were accepted and endorsed by the membership as a whole at the International Convention of A.A., at Cleveland, Ohio, in 1950.
See my link at bottom for more info.
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