Cell Phones and Cowboys
The Adventures of Shakespeare
Cell Phones and Cowboys
Copyright 2001
Hi! It’s me again, your favorite cow-horse, Shakespeare!
Today, I’m going to tell you about how a new invention affects cowboys… the cell phone.
When Dad and I are out checking pastures or riding fence lines, he talks to me a lot. He talks about everything! Sometimes he’s boring; sometimes he shares some good information. Either way, I know I’m his best friend, and that’s special… he’s my best friend, too.
He was talking the other day how there used to not be any cell phones. What did people ever do without them? They are so convenient… but sometimes they get in the way. Let me tell you about an adventure we had this Spring.
Dad got a call one evening that the Boozers were going to be gathering pastures on Wednesday. So when Wednesday morning rolled around, we were saddled up bright and early, and away we went to help. All the neighbors pitch in to help gather pastures. Well, there were six cowboys and a couple of farmhands on four wheelers. There were three pastures to gather that day. We were to drive them to the pens where they’d be picked up by the cattle trucks and shipped to the big feed yard.
Well, when we came into the first pasture, it was obvious to me that these cattle hadn’t seen a horse in a while. They raised their tails and away they ran to the far side of the pasture. Dad likes to ride each pasture at least three times a week. That helps keep the calves gentle. These calves were anything but gentle. They were big heifers, weighing around 750 pounds or so.
We took it slow, so as not to excite these heifers any more than need be. Half of the cowboys went around to the North side of the pasture, and the rest of us circled in from the South. There were about 400 head of these heifers in the pasture, and that many calves can sure make a mess if they get too excited. So we circled around the heifers and started them toward the pens. A few of them would get a little silly from time to time, trying to cut back. But for the most part, things were starting out pretty smooth. We headed them toward the pens, and most of them calmed down pretty good. All but four. As we got closer to the pens, these four heifers decided they were NOT going. They turned and bolted. The cowboys tried to get them to stay with the herd, but it wasn’t going to happen. One of the heifers ran right into a horse and cowboy full speed, bouncing off and running through the fence and down the road. The other three followed as fast as they could run.
Now, it doesn’t make sense to leave the herd to follow a handful of renegades. Not when the rest of the herd is almost to the pens, and beginning to mill around. So Robert, the owner of the cattle, hollered at the two farmhands to follow them with their four wheelers, turn them back if they could, but to mainly keep an eye on them. Nobody likes to lose calves. Well, we got the main herd penned all right. Two of the cowboys stayed to load the trucks, while the rest of us went after the four renegades.
The farm hands had managed to turn the heifers and head them roughly in the direction we wanted them to go. So we only had to drive them a mile or so. Four cowboys, four heifers… no problem, right? WRONG! We got those heifers about a quarter of a mile to the pens, and they scattered! They went every direction but the right one. So each of us got on a calf to bring them back, rope them if necessary.
It didn’t take me long to get on my heifer and start to turn her back to the pens. But that’s about when I found out she wanted no part of cooperating. She was a big gal, with horns about six inches long… and a bad attitude! She charged me a couple of times, and I’m glad Dad can ride! He makes his decisions in an instant. And I think I’ve trained him pretty well to know where and when to put his foot and leg on me to move the part of my body that needs to be moved. So we sidestepped this heifer a couple of times while Dad was shaking out a loop with his lariat. Being a working cowboy, you have to be able to do several things at one time… shake out a loop with your lariat, pay attention to the heifer, and know what your horse is doing and what the footing will allow you to do.
So after this heifer charged again, we sidestepped and spun on a dime, and we were hot on her tail! I saw the lariat twirl three times, then it darted out like a rattlesnake, and settled right over that heifer’s neck. Man, I put on the brakes, and we yanked that heifer around… she needed to know who was boss. When she came around she had fire in her eyes, and charged me again. I stepped out of the way just in time, braced, and yanked her to the ground. She came up in a cloud of dust, and was at me again. Another quick move, and we dodged her again. She had no give in her, so we were going to have to choke her down a little bit, take the fight out of her.
We were churning up quite the dust cloud… it was getting pretty exciting. And right here in the heat of battle, Dad’s cell phone started ringing. It’s Dad’s business phone, and he doesn’t have voice mail, so he had to take the call. It was a cool morning, and Dad was wearing his Levi jacket, with the phone in the inside pocket. So here we are, dodging and fighting this heifer while Dad’s digging in his pocket for his phone! I felt him set the reins over his right forearm. He holds his dally with his right hand, and in a situation like we were in, you sure don’t want to let go of your dally!
So Dad’s talking on the phone, holding his dally with his right hand, with the reins looped over his forearm, talking calmly on the phone as if we were on a calm Sunday afternoon ride.. He’s giving me directions with his feet and seat. All the while this heifer is raising cane with us, trying to run us over. Well, we were able to keep things under control until Robert made it to us with the stock trailer. He got there about the time Dad finished talking on the phone. He parked the trailer, and Dad and I pulled the heifer towards the gate. Got her pretty close, then backed off enough to give Dad enough slack in the rope to flip it up over the corner of the trailer, and we drug that heifer in… gladly! When a calf is acting up like that heifer was, I don’t mind at all to put my weight into the breast collar and give her a good yank. We got her in the trailer without anybody getting hurt.
Dad got his rope off her and we headed back to the pens. It was kinda strange, the things Dad was talking about on the way back. How cell phones can be so handy, yet they can sure get in the way… there’s no telling when they’re going to ring. He still talks about maybe getting voice mail. I don’t know what the big deal is. As long as he’s got me to take care of him, he won’t get in a bind!
Anyhow, that’s how it happened this Spring… the cell phone and the mad heifer! What a morning!
Until next time,
Shakespeare
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