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It has come to the attention of the Hogwarts faculty that the discussion
about the future location of Harry Potter's
World of Magic Theme Park should be located has evolved on occasion into
a rather heated debate. And while no one blames participants on either
side of the Atlantic for casting their vote for the city of their choice,
or for providing compelling reasons for doing so, we see no reason to employ
tasteless stereotypes or nation bashing.
Luckily, we have been able to edit out some of the really nasty stuff, thanks to our Quick-Quotes Quill. If this behavior continues, however, we may start sending offenders to detention. But before resorting to such extreme measures, Hogwarts professors past and present offer their advice in the hopes of dissuading perpetrators from making further inappropriate comments: |
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I
cannot make you see the truth, but surely you must know that all this pointless
squabbling will get us nowhere. If we are to accomplish our task, we must
work together to support the erection of the first theme park at any location
that its builders deem fit. Once that has been accomplished, we can focus
on additional locations. The first step is to unite against the evil financial
wizards who oppose us!
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Sniveling
idiots! If it were up to me, I would place the theme park in Japan and
teach you all a good lesson! Or better yet, why not next to Azkaban? That
way, when you are one day imprisoned in that cruel fortress, as you surely
will be, your pitiful dreams constantly scrutinized by heartless Dementors,
the theme park you dreams will be within view, ever so close, yet eternally
out of reach!!!
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Children,
children! No need to pretend! I know why you're all in such a tizzy over
the future location of our little theme park. Why, you simply desire to
be close to me! Now, don't pretend otherwise. It's impossible to resist
my stunning good looks and my winning smile. You yearn to buy my beauty
products, take my photo, and have me sign my
Magical Me book covers.
Alas, if only there were two of me!
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My
Inner Eye reveals that the outlook for the theme park location of your
desires is not good. I have been crystal gazing, and I saw the future location
of this park. It is to be built in a village in the Peruvian Andes, but
sadly, it will be destroyed shortly after its opening by torrential floods
and a series of unforecasted hurricanes. So sorry to disappoint you, my
dears!
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There are those who would oppose our efforts to have a theme park built. They would see us overlooked, ridiculed, imprisoned! Stinking cowards! I'll turn them all into ferrets if they try to stop us! But I'll not let them divide and conquer us! I've got my Foe Glass handy, and a few other tricks up my sleeves, too. So remember ... CONSTANT VIGILANCE! |
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How dare you! Arguing and
bickering among yourselves...! Mr. Filch says you've been hurling insults
and curses at each other in these very hallways. I thought this theme park
meant more to you. You will receive detention if it happens again!
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My heavens! Can't anyone
see that this sort of dispute could be resolved very simply with the help
of a simple charm? All one needs is a bit of floo powder or a portkey,
and students can very easily travel to the theme park location wherever
it may be.
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This theme park story of
which you speak is a preposterous, ridiculous tale. It's all a load of
nonsense. There never has been any such theme park, and there never will
be. And to speak of such a place ever being opened to the public is simply
ridiculous.
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P-p-please stop yelling.
I c-can't take it any more. I d-d-don't know what it is you want from m-me.
I haven't d-done anything. Why do you want to t-talk to me about this right
n-n-now, of all times? Can't you just leave me in p-peace?
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Well, what are you all waiting for? There's only one way to settle this argument: On the Quidditch field. Come on, get your brooms. Let's get it out in the open. The Brits vs. the Yanks at 11 o'clock. I'll referee. See you there, and don't forget your robes. |
| To cast your vote for a Harry Potter's World of Magic Theme Park location, and add your own very politely worded comments, click here. |
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