No tricorne, helmet, stovepipe hat, no busby or beret
Can recite poems or spread the news or tell the time of day.
Your mortarboard, your yarmulke, your kepi, coif, and wimple
Might keep the sunshine off your head but, really, they're quite simple.

For sorting people into houses, I can come in handy,
And even without feathers I'm as quick as Doodle Dandy.
Yes, I can listen to your thoughts; I'll read you like a book.
Just perch me up atop your head and let me take a look.

So get rid of your havelock, your cap, and tam-o'-shanter,
Even if they could speak all you'd hear is mindless banter.
Take off that shako, cloche, or fez. Remove that dull sombrero.
For I'm not just the Sorting Hat, I'm Harry Potter's hero!"