Toy Talk
Volume XXI
By Mark Patraw
Posted on 12/30/13
Well, this is the last Toy Talk of 2013, so, let's finish off the year with my twenty-first assortment of secondhand toys. In the back row, moving left-to-right, we have a couple of 2011 Fox/Bagdasarian Productions Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked Eleanors (McDonald's), a 1991 Hasbro/Kellogg's G.I.JOE/Rice Krispies Lifeline, and a 2013 Hasbro My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Pinkie Pie from (I think) the Crystal Empire wave of ponies. Moving up to the front, again left-to-right, there are a couple of 2008 Nintendo Wii Metroid: Prime mazes (Burger King) and an Eyeclops "Sadball" of unknown origin (please note that I just made up the Eyeclops name, since I don't know what this item actually is). I bought Pinkie Pie (twenty-five cents on 11/26/13), Eyeclops and one of the Metroid mazes (both in a twenty-five cents grab bag on 11/26/13), Lifeline (fifty cents on 12/3/13), and the other Metroid maze (twenty-five cents grab bag on 12/5/13) from the Ishpeming St. Vincent de Paul Society thrift store, while both Eleanors were in a $2.44 bag of toys I purchased from the Marquette branch of the same thrift store chain on 10/25/13. If anyone reading this knows more information about any of these items (particularly the identity/origin of the Eyeclops Sadball), that I haven't already discussed below, and would like to share, or just chat about toys, feel free to e-mail me and let me know!
I don't hate her or anything, but Eleanor is my least favorite of the three Chipettes (if I had to spend the rest of my life on a deserted island with one of those singing rodents, I'd choose Jeanette). That said, this matching pair of 2.7" (6.9 cm) tall 2011 McDonald's toys, which are based on her computer generated model from the Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked film, look much more attractive than she ever did in the original cartoons I grew up watching. The Eleanor twins have rotating cut joints in both their shoulders, which, while not much, does give you a little bit of variety for displaying them (in my opinion, she looks even more adorable with one, or both, of her hands raised to her face). Unfortunately, both of these toys are also incomplete, because she's supposed to be sitting on a large pink suitcase (which, I presume would have added one more point of articulation; considering that the peg projecting out of her posterior is cylindrical in shape). Eleanor still looks, and sits, fine without it though. As tends to be my lot in life, I ended up getting two of these in the same bag of toys. At first, I didn't even know that I had a pair of them. After I got done shopping, and I was waiting for the bus to take me home, I opened up my plastic sack of goodies to kill some time. Well, while I was rooting around through it to see what kind of stuff I had scored, unbeknownst to me, one of the Eleanors fell out and into the bottom of my bookbag. So, later on that evening, when I was cataloging all of the figures that I had purchased, I only saw one Chipette, but then, the next day, when I happened to knock my bookbag over onto the floor, another Eleanor came tumbling out, and I was all like, "What the hell, are they breeding while I'm asleep?"
I had dozens of Hasbro's G.I.JOE: A Real American Hero action figures in the late 80s and early 90s, but I never owned this particular character, Lifeline (not even the 1988 Tiger Force version). I always wanted one though, and I can distinctly remember that, much to my envy, one of my cousins had him. While this might look like the original 1986 Lifeline figure at first glance, it isn't. Instead, it's something a little more special and unique: the 3.9" (9.8 cm) tall 1991 Kellogg's Rice Krispies mail-away Lifeline! What's the difference, you ask? Well Kellogg's didn't want to promote a toy that had anything to do with guns, so they chose Lifeline, because he's a pacifist and a medic, and they made Hasbro remove the pistol and holster sculpted on the original toy's left thigh (there's still an empty holster on his chest though, oops!) Snap, Crackle, and Pop just weren't down with us youngsters and our cartoon violence! He still moves the same though, with a ball-jointed neck and hips, pin-and-disc ball-jointed shoulders, rotating cut biceps, pin-joint elbows and knees, and the trademark rubber O-ring waist (which is fairly loose on my sample). The Rice Krispies version of Lifeline also came with fewer accessories than the original release, just his EMS kit and backpack (which surprisingly, my sample still has, and even more amazingly, the radio antenna isn't broken off). In addition to those two items, the 1986 and 1988 versions also had a pistol (which obviously wasn't going to be included as part of the breakfast cereal promotion when they already went to the trouble of removing the one on his body) and an oxygen mask/hose. I'm sad that I don't have the EMS kit, because, back in the day, I actually liked that item more than the figure itself (it even opened up, like a suitcase, so that you could see all the details inside, which included two oxygen tanks). There's one other oddity with this figure that I'd like to touch upon. Normally, vintage G.I.JOEs have two peg holes in the soles of their feet (for their attachment to stands and vehicles), but this one only has one in his right foot. I wonder if that's just a molding error or maybe a side product of the new tooling that had to be done to the leg to remove the gun and holster? If anyone reading this has a Rice Krispies Lifeline, I'd be interested to hear whether yours has a peg hole in each foot, or just one, like mine.
As you've probably noticed, the tinsel in this 3.2" (8.1 cm) tall Hasbro Generation 4 (G4) My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Pinkie Pie's hair is completely out of control. Combing it didn't do much good (the tinsel behaves differently that her tresses), so, I tried rubberbanding her mane to her neck, overnight, before I shot these photos, to try to tame it, but that was only partially successful. I guess I just have to accept it: the energy that is Pinkie Pie simply cannot be contained! Don't get me wrong, I like the extra zest that the tinsel adds, I just wish it was more manageable. I suppose they probably should have rooted some of it in Pinkie Pie's tail too, so it'd match her mane, but, for whatever reason, Hasbro didn't. There have been several G4 Pinkie Pie figures with tinsel in their hair, so, I'm not absolutely certain, but I believe that this is the 2013 Crystal Empire version. Assuming that's correct, she's missing her slice of cake and ice cream sundae accessories (sometimes the figure is packed with a DVD of the cartoon as well). While it's not much, this Pinkie Pie figure has a rotating joint in her neck, which is more than I can say for the rest of my ponies--it's pretty sad when a single point of articulation seems noteworthy. Turning her head does give her some personality though, so I'm glad it's there. Man, this toy is violently pink, isn't it? You sure can't pass yourself off as a manly-man with something like this sitting on your desk, no sir.
Because transforming into a ball and navigating convoluted mazes has always been a big part of Samus Aran's job description, using the Metroid Prime motif for this 2008 Nintendo Wii Burger King toy makes perfect sense. Lying flat, it measure about 3.0" (7.5 cm) wide x 3.0" (7.7 cm) tall x 0.9" (2.2 cm) deep--small enough that you could tote it around in a pocket. The walls and ceiling of the labyrinth are made from transparent plastic and are set on top of an attractive, full-color image of the game's heroine. The orange plastic border/case, on the other hand, is more detailed, with all sorts of technological tidbits sculpted across its surface, along with a raised Metroid Prime logo, which are nice design choices that are relevant to the licensed subject matter (i.e., parts of Samus' armor are orange, and she often explores high-tech environments in the video games). This item is supposed to come with a small magnetic replica of a Wii remote (that could be plugged onto the cylindrical post on the frame for storage), which you'd use to guide the metal ball through the maze, but I don't have it, and, perhaps even more importantly, it's completely unnecessary (my Wooly Willy wand does make a great substitute though). It's more fun and challenging to solve the labyrinth directly, by tilting it, this-way-and-that, to make gravity roll the shiny sphere in the direction that you want it to go. I'd estimate that it takes me roughly ten seconds to successfully navigate the maze in that manner (it's not likely to tax anyone but the very young or uncoordinated). This puzzle is a fun diversion for a little while, but I can't see anyone playing with this thing too extensively--although, if you have a stopwatch, I suppose you could have some fun competing with yourself, or someone else, to beat your best time. The Metroid Prime window dressing is nice, but, ultimately, irrelevant. You could put whatever images you wanted on this item and it wouldn't change anything. I had similar mazes when I was a kid, and these plastic labyrinths are just one of those things that never go out of style. I just wish that this particular one was a bit more difficult to solve.
I only had one maze when I first wrote this review and took the photographs seen above, but, shortly afterwards, I acquired another one, so, now I own a matching pair. I got them, one week after the other, in two separate "boys" mystery toy grab bags--what are the odds of that?
Now, if I only had a link cable, I could play head-to-head with a friend . . .
What do you mean that won't work?
I couldn't find any copyright marks molded on this item, but it strikes me as a Madballs knockoff (which are often referred to as "Sadballs"), and therein lies its appeal. For the sake of convenience, I'm dubbing it "Eyeclops". That's not terribly original, I know, but it is appropriate. Measuring to the top of the horn that projects up from the center of its scalp, this spherical creature is about 2.2" (5.5 cm) tall, and, eartip-to-eartip, 2.6" (6.5 cm) wide. I like the sculpt. The warts, ridges, pointy ears, etc., all mesh well together. There's a little tab, on the left side of Eyeclops' head, with a hole through it, which I'm guessing was once an attachment points for a key ring, string, or tag. Squeezing our monocular friend causes its' hard, plastic eye to protrude out of the socket in a ghastly manner. While simplistic, it's a fun gross-out feature that certainly fits with the subject matter. The vibrant color scheme is nice, but the paintwork on this rubbery orb is fairly sloppy and flaking off in numerous spots; even so, I think Eyeclops still looks decent. I don't have any Madballs in my toy collection at the moment, so, aside from just being neat, this item fills a void I didn't know I had.
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