Character Battle 2002

-Ryu-

In A.D. 2002 War was beginning.

CATS: Main screen message incoming.

CATS: It's Ryu.

Ryu: I'm gonna kick your ass in this Character Battle punk!

CATS: You have no chance to survive You have no threat to Great CATS.

Ryu: I'm the better fighter! You can't even shoot a projectile!

CATS: You not know what you doing. You just joke.

CATS: How you expect fighting as all your base are belong to CATS!!

Ryu: What are you talking about...?

Ryu: I feel.... strange.... weak.... WHAT IS THIS!?

CATS: HA HA HA HA!

Ryu: YOU PUNK! THIS ISN'T OVER! I'LL REGAIN MY LOST POWER BEFORE LONG AFTER I TRASH YOU!

CATS: Go be loser.

Ryu: AAARRRRGHGHGH! CUT THE TRANSMISSION!!

From here we will take you to the eventful 2002 battle!

CATS vs Ryu - The Real Story

CATS looked out of the viewscreen. He was in space, in his ZIG. The other fighters in the tournament remained on the ground, but here CATS was king. It was here in space that he had had SET UP SOMEBODY THE BOMB and had his glorious victory. However, earlier that day when CATS had asked Ryu if they might conduct their battle in space, the coward refused. CATS still remembered the disgrace...

It was a peaceful afternoon. Ryu was stealing candy from a small baby and kicking sand in its eyes. CATS swallowed his disgust as he approached.

"RYU, US SET UP THE BATTLE UP SPACE !" asked CATS of the pitiful Ryu.

Ryu, laughing, spit on CATS' boot.

"I don't talk to illiterates" vomited the repulsive Ryu. Why was it that everyone here misunderstood CATS' language as a speech impediment? CATS had even won his senior class' speech contest!

"WHAT YOU SAY !!" replied the honorable and noble CATS.

Ryu began to ignore the magnificent CATS and continued to kick sand into the baby's eyes.

"YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY TO DESTRUCTION" exclaimed CATS as he teleported the baby away.

"YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOU TIME" he concluded as he faded away, disgusted.

The incident still left a bad taste in CATS' mouth. He should have SET RYU UP THE BOMB right then and there, but that would have been against the rules of the tournament. CATS does not cheat. CATS would just have to face Ryu on his turf: the fighting arena. CATS knew that Ryu was training down below, but CATS also knew that he himself needed no training, for he was perfect in every way. Soon they would all learn that they should not make fun of CATS... and CATS MADE HIS TIME...

As the fight drew near the crowd was restless. Ryu slouched out into the arena wearing his signature white pajamas and red hairband. The crowd soon began booing him as he shot them the bird and yelled obcsenities.

"WE GET SIGNAL !" the announcer... announced.

The crowd grew silent as a figure began to materialize in the center of the stadium.

"HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN" boomed CATS. The crowd suddenly burst into cheers; their hero had arrived. For a while no one could hear anything save the sound of the cheers. CATS continued to bask in his glory for some time.

"Hey you douche, look at this!" cried the insignificant mouse who occupied the stadium with the Excellent CATS.

"WHAT YOU SAY !" replied CATS as he turned to face his opponent. He was greeted with disgraceful sight. Ryu was mooning him.

"ITS YOU. ALL YOUR RYU ARE BELONG TO CATS" CATS said with pity as he sent a shocking blast directly at Ryu's posterior.

"What the FUCK was that for dickhead!?" replied Ryu as he writhed in pain.

CATS zapped Ryu again. "NO SET UP BAD LANGUAGE FOR THE CHILDREN. YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY TO DESTRUCTION!"

"You are on your way to my fist, Fucker!" snorted Ryu as he jumped at CATS. CATS was knocked back, not by Ryu's fist, but by his repungent odor. CATS had the sneaking suspicion that Ryu had not bathed in months. Ryu of course thought that he had hurt CATS, and he waved to the crowd. The crowd only booed so he spit at a few people in the front row.

CATS knew that this fight needed to end shortly, but Ryu was charging up a haduken.

"FOR GREAT JUSTICE" yelled CATS as he thought fast and shot a laser from his robot eye, deflecting the haduken upwards away from the crowd and slicing off Ryu's right arm. The arm landed with a thud and Ryu fell to his knees, yelling more obscenities. CATS knew that the fight had to end now, before anyone got hurt.

CATS flew up into the air and looked down at his enemy. The ground began to shake with CATS' awesome power. CATS SET UP RYU THE BOMB !!! Ryu stared in fear as he knew that his end was near. Moments later CATS laughed "HA HA HA HA" as Ryu was defeated.

The crowd stood up in a standing ovation as the honorable and noble CATS was declared the winner of the battle. CATS recieved his trophy and was waving it around for the crowd.

Little did CATS know, but Ryu had not MET HIS DESTRUCTION in THE BOMB. CATS did not SET UP RYU THE BOMB of full power, for this would have destroyed the entire stadium with all of the viewers, maybe even the whole planet, and CATS did not want to risk it. A poor loser, Ryu flipped out a pocket knife with his remaining hand and slipped it into CATS' lower back.

CATS felt a searing pain as he blacked out. Ryu had pierced his spine. Though CATS had won the battle, he would be unable to continue in the tournament. The crowd booed as it was announced that Ryu would have to take his place in the bracket.

That was last year. Now the doctors in his BASE had repaired his spine and made it indestructible. CATS would not face such humiliation in this year's tournament. This time he was up against Cloud, who he heard ate babies. It seems that CATS would be forced to deal with the trash of the tournament again...