Walking back down the stairs together to the hotel lobby, Faith and Buffy brushed hands on more than one occasion, sending tingles through each other, promises unspoken and hopes barely dared to hope. They hadn’t talked about where they were going to sleep that night. Hadn’t spoken about what they’d done that morning. Faith wasn’t sure she wanted to break the bubble by bringing either subject up – she was quite content remembering their morning together. The way Buffy had touched her, held her, loved her. It had been perfect. . .up until the point Willow had brought reality crashing around them.

Now they still had slayers to deal with, grief to contend with, and Faith didn’t want to put any pressure on Buffy. It had to be up to Buffy how this went, how they progressed. She had the most to lose.

“Everybody’s settled, Buffy,” Giles said as he approached them, his clothing still dusty as he ineffectively wiped at his glasses. “The rooms have all been allocated, and families informed of the. . .deaths.”

He lowered his eyes, wishing he hadn’t had to inform anybody of any deaths, but war always produced casualties. Luckily, most of the girls had told their families of the situation so they had been somewhat prepared, but really, there was no preparation for losing a child, or a sister, or a brother. With a sigh he replaced his glasses, ignoring the fact they were still smudged as Buffy nodded solemnly.

“Is there still space for us?” Buffy asked, feeling the day weigh heavy on her. She needed to shower and lie down.

“There’s only one room left I’m afraid,” he informed them. “But Angel said he could book a room close by at another hotel if needed.”

“That won’t be necessary. I’m glad the younger girls are settled at least,” Buffy told him. She’d wanted them to come first; have priority of the sleeping arrangements. It’s the least she could do at this point. “I’m sure Faith won’t mind sharing with me.”

She glanced over at Faith, noting that Faith was trying her best not to show just how much she wouldn’t mind.

“Yeah, it’s cool,” Faith said with a shrug.

Faith hoped that Buffy wasn’t being pushed into this situation, but something about the small smile on her lips made Faith feel a little more comfortable. She tried to relax and just go with the flow. It was time to stop battling everything around her in order to keep herself protected.

“Well, I think I’m going to head up,” Giles said wearily, looking towards the stairs that lead to the rooms. “It’s been a very long day.”

He wasn’t wrong, it was late and Faith felt the pull of a nice soft bed.

“We should probably go too,” Faith suggested, giving Buffy a small nod as Giles made his way to bed. “There’ll be a lot to do tomorrow.”

Though Buffy didn’t want to think about tomorrow and the struggle that was still ahead, she knew Faith was right. They needed tonight to heal, to mend, to rest and let go a little before it all came crashing down on them once more. They may have beaten the big bad, but he wasn’t the only one out there. There would be others, and they needed to rebuild.

“You don’t mind sharing do you?” Buffy asked tentatively as they walked slowly up the stairs to the room Giles had handed them the key for.

“Do you?” Faith countered.

“No,” Buffy replied almost shyly, looking up through her eyelashes at Faith.

It felt silly to be so coy after what they’d done that morning, but this was all still so new to Buffy. She wasn’t sure how far to push or what to do or say around Faith. Guessing they’d figure it out eventually, she tried not to worry about the details. They’d been through a lot yet here they were. Together.

They made the rest of the way in silence, tension sparking between them that neither of them could ignore. Though they were bruised and battered, they both yearned to touch one another. Both yearned to be as close as possible. To forget everything but who they were and what they meant to each other.

“Buffy?” Angel called, coming up behind them just before they reached their room.

They’d spoken with him at length when they’d arrived, but as he’d been helping to organise the accommodations for the girls and the Scoobs Buffy had seen very little of him for the rest of the night. It made her stop and think; had he really dropped that far out of her life that she’d almost forget he was even there?

He was very much there now, however, hovering close by as if he needed to speak to Buffy urgently. Buffy had seen that pained expression on his face plenty of times before.

“I’ll be in in a minute,” Buffy said to Faith, watching as Faith opened the door.

Faith paused to look into Buffy’s eyes before she entered the room and Buffy really wished she could follow right away. It was probably best to get whatever it was that was playing on Angel’s mind out of the way first, however. She didn’t want to be disturbed once she was on the other side of that door with Faith.

“Is there a problem?” Buffy asked Angel, stepping close to him where he lingered.

“No, no problem,” he responded, glancing to where Faith softly closed the door behind her. “But can we talk?”

Buffy wondered how impolite it would be for her to tell him no, and that she just really wanted to get clean and lay down. . .with Faith. On Faith. Whichever happened first. She doubted he’d be too keen on hearing that. He was a sensitive guy under all the scowling and brooding.

“Of course,” she said, following reluctantly as he traipsed back down the stairs to the lobby.

She wanted to stop him before he got too far and ask how long this might take, but he’d done a lot of arranging to give the slayers, and her family, somewhere to stay. She couldn’t very well throw that all back in his face by appearing ungrateful and rude. When he got into the small elevator that went to his basement abode, holding the door open for her to join him, she did finally stop following and start figuring out a way to get this over with as quickly as possible.

“Can’t we just talk up here?” Buffy asked, hoping it didn’t sound too harsh.

She was extremely grateful that he was helping them out and didn’t want to grumble too much, but really there was no more her brain could take today. No more her heart could take.

“Oh, ok,” he said, trying not to frown too hard.

Leading Buffy back towards the little office he occupied in the hotel, Angel gave her a longing look that made Buffy wonder what was going through his mind. He was never so easy to read, but right now there was obviously something on his mind to do with them. Buffy wasn’t certain how she knew, but she just did. They weren’t about to talk of the First or Angel’s new buddies Wolfram & Hart. It was something else. Something personal.

She wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear what he had to say.

“I’m really tired,” Buffy said, hoping he’d get the hint. “If this can wait until morning. . .”

“It can’t,” he said, the weight of his words settling between them and making Buffy a little worried. “Well, it could,” he continued. “But I thought you’d want to know as soon as. . .I just. . .”

Buffy raised her eyebrows; it wasn’t usual for Angel to be stuck for words. He was finding it difficult now to look her in the eye and she stepped towards him, placing a hand on his arm.

“Tell me,” she encouraged, her lungs tightening, ready for bad news.

“I know things are a little. . .crazy right now,” Angel began, moving slightly away from Buffy and sitting on the edge of his desk. “But something happened last night. Here.”

Ok, now she really was worried. What had happened?

“What is it?” she pressed, growing impatient.

“As you know, I’ve taken over Wolfram & Hart.”

She did know that, though it still baffled her how or why he’d done it. She trusted his judgment, however, so whatever his plans were she was sure they were for the greater good. Buffy didn’t doubt his loyalty to the cause.

He paused, possibly waiting for Buffy to tell him he was crazy for getting involved with the company, but she remained silent, watching the play of emotions cross his face.

“Anyway, I was given an offer by the science team there, and I took it,” he continued, appearing guarded yet hopeful. “The decision didn’t come easy but. . .I let them purge me of my curse.”

Buffy held her breath, just staring at Angel as if he’d grown another head or a tail or. . .a soul that her love would no longer destroy. Angel gave her a few moments, not continuing or explaining further. He sat perched on the edge of the desk with his dark eyes hooded, hands gripping the table. When Buffy finally found her voice, unsure what the information was doing to her insides as she felt the world tipping on its head, she found nothing but a whisper on her lips.

“How?” she asked.

“Old magics, new science,” he told her. “I’m no longer cursed,” he repeated, as if she hadn’t quite heard him the first time.

Buffy had definitely heard him, but she was finding it hard to process the information. Angel. Cured. Able to love fully.

Her brain couldn’t wrap around it.

“So, it’s. . .you can. . .” Buffy stuttered, finding a chair behind her and sitting down heavily.

Letting her gaze drop to the floor, Buffy tried not to let her imagination run wild. She tried not to remember how much she’d loved him, how much she’d wanted him, and how hard it had broken her heart after they’d discovered they could never make love again. It still hurt in her chest. Still made her feel desolate.

What exactly was he saying? That they could now be together? Properly?

Buffy shook her head, not wanting to jump to conclusions or complicate things further than might be necessary.

“I won’t lose my soul if we. . .” Angel didn’t continue but Buffy knew what he was getting at. “Not that we have to. . .yunno - but I just thought I’d let you know.”

He was staring down at the floor now too, his brow heavy and his eyes taking on a distinct puppy-dog look. Buffy guessed that he expected her to jump around with excitement, and if she was being honest with herself she did kind of feel like doing that. At least a little. But now was not a good time to hear this and she didn’t know how to react.

“I know, it’s a lot to take in,” Angel continued, allowing Buffy to think about the implications of what he’d told her. “Buffy, you know I still. . .”

She knew what he was about to say and Buffy wasn’t sure she could handle hearing it right then. Standing up, Buffy began to pace, shaking her head and feeling her tired body protest every step. He still loved her; she knew that without him having to tell her. She saw it in the way he looked at her, the way he spoke. Doubting they’d ever really, truly get over their once doomed relationship, Buffy had to concede that she did love him too. But things were different now. She’d sailed that ship. They’d crashed that ship, scattering it across jagged rocks; forever unsalvageable.

But here he was, telling her they could salvage it. They could have what they had again, better, with no boundaries.

“Angel, I don’t know if I can deal with this right now,” Buffy said, raising a hand to her brow and rubbing at her forehead.

Her head was spinning, her stomach in knots.

“Just tell me you’ll think about it,” Angel pressed, standing up and moving away from the desk.

“Think about it?” Buffy asked. “There was a time I did nothing but think about it. I don’t know if I can go through all that again.”

Buffy had stopped pacing and Angel moved closer to her, his arms aching to be around her, to comfort her, to prove to her that he could love her now like the man she wanted and needed him to be.

“We can be. . .”

“We can be what?” Buffy asked, interrupting. “A couple? Partners? Lovers?”

She practically whispered the last word, feeling overwhelmed. As if somebody had told her to stand on the edge of a cliff and jump off, Buffy held herself stiff, trying not to let herself stumble.

If he’d come to her a year ago, a month ago, even a week ago things might have been different. She might have run into his arms and held him tight, take him to bed to prove that what he said was true. But a lot had happened lately. Hell, a lot had happened since the last time she’d allowed herself to hope they could ever have a happy ending.

Was this her happy ending? Was he the prize she could now take for saving the world yet again?

“I don’t know what to think,” Buffy told him, sighing as her shoulders sagged and tears formed in her eyes. “I loved you so much.”

The tears began to flow freely and Buffy allowed Angel to scoop her into his arms so he could hold her against him. It brought back so many memories. So many past hopes and dreams. He was always hers and she could feel it in his tender embrace.

* * *

Having waited what felt like forever for Buffy to return, Faith pushed open the door to their room, looking longingly back at the bed she’d just been laying on. Her hair was damp from the shower and she was only wearing her panties and a tee shirt due to the fact she really didn’t want to have to put back on her gross, blood splattered clothes. Hoping she didn’t bump into anybody, she went in search of Buffy.

It might have been a bad idea to leave the room rather than sit back and wait, but she couldn’t help herself. No doubt Buffy was just in a deep conversation with Angel about what had happened in Sunnydale with the First, and possibly about Angel’s insane notion to take over Wolfram & Hart, but whatever is was that was keeping Buffy occupied Faith seriously wanted her to hurry it up.

“Jesus, what’s up with that?” Faith questioned herself, shaking her head at her own sudden clinginess.

She decided she could always say she’d been in search of food if Buffy got pissed at her for barging in, even though she’d already had her fill of two whole pizzas that night. Faith kept walking, padding down the stairs and listening out for voices. Whatever Angel and Buffy were discussing it was none of her business, she knew that, but as she heard soft voices and the sound of tears she slowed her pace and trod as lightly as she could.

As she neared the office where it was clear Buffy was talking in hushed tones to Angel she practically held her breath, hating herself for prying but unable to avoid it. The door was open just a crack. Just enough for Faith to listen in.

“We could take it slow.” Faith heard Angel say. “I know this is a big decision.”

“A little while back it wouldn’t have been that big,” Buffy responded to him.

Faith heard Buffy sigh and it sounded like she was blowing her nose. A twisting sensation in Faith’s gut made her want to turn and run, but as if glued to the spot she remained where she was, just outside the door.

“There’d be nothing in the way this time,” Angel said, sounding almost like he was pleading his case for something. Something Faith wasn’t sure she wanted to know. “Well, apart from the normal things like demons and prophecies, and the odd apocalypse now and then.”

Buffy chuckled but she sounded sad, or maybe just unsure.

The sound of shuffling made Faith take a step back, but nobody came towards the door. Using all her slayer stealth, Faith moved forwards again, closer this time so she could just about peek through the small crack in the door. What she saw made her stomach knot up and her heart ache. Angel’s arms were around Buffy and one of Buffy’s hands tenderly touched his cheek.

“I wish you’d told me this a month ago,” Buffy said. “I wish. . .”

Again, Buffy sighed, but she gazed into Angel’s eyes as if he were her salvation. As if he really was made for her. Just her.

Faith felt sick and her hands balled into tight fists, but she had no right to interrupt. No right to even stand there listening to them or witness Buffy moving on to her tiptoes to kiss Angel softly on the mouth.

Unable to stand witnessing any more, Faith closed her eyes, hearing the kiss grow deeper as she turned away. It took a moment for her to gather herself enough to sneak away without being caught, and as she reached the stairs she felt her eyes tear up. But Faith wasn’t going to cry or let this break her. She was strong - stronger than she’d ever been - and if Buffy decided her life, her love, was still with Angel then Faith knew she’d have to accept that. Buffy and Angel shared something Faith could never hope to have, and there was no point in being bitter about it or blaming Buffy for wanting to be with him. She couldn’t compete with their history. With their love.

Glancing back down towards the office as she reached the top of the stairs, Faith wondered if Buffy would even come to the room that night. She knew Buffy couldn’t be with Angel in the sexual sense because of his curse, but after a day like they’d had she wouldn’t blame Buffy for wanting to be close to the person she loved, even if just to be held.

Faith could only dream that it would be her that Buffy turned to for that, but it really was just a dream. No matter how much Buffy thought she wanted Faith, her ties to Angel were obviously stronger.

Maybe it was time for Faith to leave before she had to have the awkward conversation with Buffy that would lead to them deciding to be friends and nothing more.

* * *

“I can’t do this,” Buffy said softly as she pulled away from Angel.

His lips had felt cold, small, sparking nothing in her but memories of a past long gone. She loved him still, but not in the way she had. Not in the way he wanted her to continue loving him. There was nothing there but fond affection and a deep respect she’d never lose.

“There’s no chance I’ll lose my soul again,” Angel assured, trying to find something in Buffy’s eyes akin to the desire she’d once shown him.

“That’s not why,” Buffy told him, a tender hand touching his face as she smiled softly.

“You don’t love me,” he guessed, taking her hand from his face and holding it in his own.

“Not the way I did.”

Angel nodded, the sadness and disappointment evident in his dark eyes. For a moment it appeared that he would try to convince her, but as he stepped back Buffy noticed the switch from hopeful to accepting cross his features. He’d never be a man to push, not like Spike. Angel, despite his tortured soul, was a gentle man, and Buffy wished in that moment that she could give him what he wanted. That she could give him her heart.

But somebody else already had her heart.

“Is there. . .somebody else?” Angel asked, looking disappointed with himself for posing the question.

If she answered truthfully it would hurt him more, but lying about the way she felt for Faith wasn’t a good way to start any relationship. She wouldn’t lie about Faith, or about what she wanted from her. She’d already lied enough to herself about it to last a lifetime. Still, she had to be cautious here; she knew the strong bond that had developed between Faith and Angel was an important one for them both, and she didn’t want to risk it. She couldn’t be the one to turn them against each other.

“I do love somebody else,” Buffy admitted, her voice wavering just a little as she prepared to tell somebody for the first time that Faith was more important to her than anybody could ever guess.

“Riley?” Angel pondered aloud with barely restrained distaste.

“God no!” Buffy responded sharply, chuckling as she saw the confusion in Angel’s eyes. “He was a nice guy but. . .no.”

“Then you’re grieving over Spike?” he guessed, really hoping that wasn’t the case for many reasons.

With a sad shake of her head, Buffy told him no. “I didn’t love him,” she said. “I feel for him but. . .”

“I’m running out of options, unless it’s somebody I don’t know,” Angel continued before Buffy started singing Spike’s praises. He was proud of Spike for giving his life to help the cause, but he still didn’t have to like him.

“I don’t know if I should tell you,” Buffy admitted, biting on her lower lip as she contemplated his possible reactions. “I don’t want to hide this, though. It’s too important to me.”

“That serious?” he asked, moving closer to Buffy again and placing a hand on her shoulder. “You know you can tell me. I won’t. . .go and beat him up, no matter how much I might want to.”

His small grin made Buffy smile up at him. He’d always be a good man.

“Promise?” she asked, trying to keep the little bit of humour that had surfaced in the situation.

With a nod, Angel gave Buffy’s shoulder a squeeze before stepping back enough to give her room to relax and tell him. He supposed it didn’t really matter who it was, but Buffy obviously thought it important enough to tell him, and if he was being totally honest he wanted to know so he could do a thorough background check on the guy and make sure he was good enough for her.

“I’m in love with Faith,” Buffy said, a tremble making Faith’s name barely a whisper. She’d have to get used to this, as he was only the first of many that she’d have to tell. “We’re. . .working on things.”

For several moments Angel just stood there blinking. His mind worked overtime to figure out if Buffy was joking or not, to figure out if he should have known. Faith?

“Faith?” he questioned, more baffled in that moment than he could ever remembered being - and he’d been around for a very long time. “You and. . .Faith?”

He needed to sit down. Moving backwards until he collided with the desk and sat heavily on the edge, Angel tried his best not to let his emotions show. He felt a little hurt as well as confused. Hurt and. . .well, just hurt really. It’s not that he didn’t like Faith, or trust her, but the concept of Buffy being in love with her after they’d been through so much made him wonder just what he’d been doing wrong all this time. Maybe the way to Buffy’s heart, truly to her heart, was to be strong enough to be her enemy. Strong enough to challenge her to the limits of her own morality – which of what Faith had done.

Angel didn’t know right then if he approved or vehemently disapproved. He needed time to think about this, to process it. He didn’t want to risk his friendship with Buffy by saying the wrong thing.

“I know,” Buffy said softly, looking almost apologetic. “It’s not easy to understand but it just feels right. I guess it always did but so many things got in the way; me, Faith going nuts, even you,” she said. “I think we really have a chance this time, though. I want us to have a chance.”

“You’re sure?” Angel asked after taking a steadying breath.

“I’m sure,” Buffy replied, telling herself as much as she was telling him. “And I should probably get back upstairs.”

“Of course,” he said, knowing he’d be blushing right now if it were possible for him to blush. He felt silly for propositioning her. Silly for thinking she’d always be his. “I’m sorry I. . .”

“No need,” Buffy interrupted.

She moved towards him and placed a kiss on his cheek. This was the beginning of something new. A new life in a new city – probably, now that Sunnydale no longer existed. A new way of doing things, what with all the new slayers they had. And a new start for her and Faith.

She was determined to get it right.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Buffy said, turning and making her way to the door as he watched; a resigned smile crinkling his eyes. “There’s a slayer upstairs waiting for me and I don’t think she’s known for her patience.”

They both grinned at that, Buffy because she knew Faith would be agitated right now for more reasons than the obvious, and Angel because for a moment he allowed the baser side of his manhood to think about what Buffy had just said.

He instantly felt dirty, and then depressed.

With a wave goodnight Buffy made her way upstairs, looking forward to a long, hot shower, and a long, hot kiss from the girl who inexplicably had her heart and soul.