Drinking Young

by Mackenzie

I wasn't a bad kid, really I wasn't. I did well in school and I was on the honors roll every quarter. I was on the academic team and I played violin (and not too badly either). I mean, when Robert talked to me sometimes while he was disappointed in or angry with Jessica, he told me he was so happy I was such a good kid. He told me I was easy. It's not like he didn't think that Jessica was a good kid. It's not that he didn't love her. It's just that he was disappointed in her quite frequently. But anyways, I guess he was wrong on the whole me being a good kid thing. Because even with all those good things, I sure as hell make stupid and occasionally dangerous mistakes.

So it was April 6th; Robert and Daniel were celebrating their 2 year anniversary with a night out together, going to a fancy restaurant that must have cost an arm and a leg and then later to an ice cream place and maybe a late showing at a movie theater then back here. So, where did that leave me and Jessica? At home alone to reek as much havoc as possible. Okay, so maybe that never really went through my head but the point is I made some dumb decisions that night whereas the supposedly "bad" child was very good that night.

I never thought of myself as one of those people who would make such a stupid mistake. I never saw myself being a big partier and really, I guess what I did didn't exactly qualify me as a partier, because I was really just out of it that night. And by out of it, I mean that emotionally and physically I was drained. It felt like even after all these months of keeping it together, I was falling apart and the pieces of me would never be put back together again. I guess I did what I did because I felt so alone, even though I knew I wasn't. And contrary to what Robert thinks, I was never emotionally stable. I just cover it up well and try my hardest to get beyond my emotions. I don't like being controlled by something like that. It pisses me off when I let my emotions get the best of me.

But that night, that night I didn't care. All I wanted was to taste alcohol. Maybe it would take away my troubles. This was something I really believed was possible, however false the belief may have been. I just wanted to forget about mom and dad and everything that had happened since they died.

And that's where I made the mistake.

I remember walking down the stairs to say bye to Robert and Daniel and watching them put on their jackets, a smile on my face but pain in my mind and heart. That day wasn't a good day.

"Be good, Katelyn." Robert said and then to Jessica, "The same goes for you too."

"We will." Jessica and I said in synchronization. We had that twin thing down pat.

"There's dinner in the refrigerator. " Daniel told us. "Chicken and some rice. Make sure you eat." He said that to both of us but I think it was more directed towards me as I had issues with eating sometimes. I wasn't really anorexic, but I wasn't a big fan of eating either which usually led to health problems. And Robert and Daniel had both already sat me down and spoken to me about it.

"I will, Daniel. Geeze, you guys worry too much" I said in a voice with a bit of attitude in it.

"With reason," Robert replied.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Jessica told him. "Whatever. Just go enjoy your anniversary."

"Okay... you girls have a good night." he said as he gave each of us a hug. "I love you both."

"Love you too," I said in reply to his statement. Jessica just sort of mumbled the same thing without really saying it.

Then Daniel gave us a hug and said "I love you, girls."

And that's when Jessica was actually louder than me in her response. She always was closer to Daniel than Robert, ever since she met him. I mean, I knew why. It wasn't a surprise. I just wish things were different between the two of them. I wish she would have with Robert what I have with him. But then again, I don't have with Daniel what she has with him, so I guess it's a trade off.

"Okay, bye girls." Robert and Daniel said in unison. I guess after knowing each other for so long they had that down pat too.

After that, they shut the door behind them and we were free to do whatever we wanted. I looked at Jessica for a moment before heading to the kitchen and rummaging through the refrigerator for something, anything alcoholic; wine, beer, it didn't matter. I just wanted something to drown these feelings of anxiety and pain and depression inside of me away. Maybe alcohol would do the trick. I kept telling myself that same thing all night.

"Katelyn," Jessica called after me as she turned the corner into the kitchen. "What are you doing...?"

"I'm getting something to drink. What does it look like I'm doing?" I asked as I took out a bottle of wine and a glass from the cupboard.

"It looks exactly like that except that you're drinking something you're not supposed to," she said.

"Who the fuck cares? It's not like it fucking matters anyway. Robert and Daniel won't find out."

"Oh believe me, Katelyn. They will. They most definitely will."

"Oh well, I'm willing to risk it."

"I wouldn't if I were you. And it's dangerous anyway."

"I don't care. I just want to forget things for a little while." I told her as I poured myself a glass and took a couple of gulps. It actually didn't taste that bad.

"Katelyn," Jessica began in a warning tone as she came towards me and put her hand on top of mine before I was about to pour myself a second glass. "No. You can't have this. You shouldn't have this."

"I don't fucking care, Jess. Leave me the hell alone!" I screamed, pushing her away

She looked at me, shocked. "Katelyn, you're going to regret this. If it gets too out of hand I'm calling Daniel and Robert."

"Whatever." I told her. "Do whatever you want. I don't care"

She just walked off and into the living room to watch t.v. Hell, I knew she was worried about me and had my best interests in mind but I really didn't care at the time.

I drank glass after glass and an hour went by, then two hours, then three... as I downed glass after glass of wine. I drank slowly but I still had drunk a lot that night. By the second glass, I don't remember anything about how much I drank. I just remember feeling incredibly sick and running to the bathroom to throw up. That's when Jessica came in.

"Kate?" she called in a questioning voice. "Kate, are you ok?" she said as she turned a corner. "Oh my God. Katelyn..." she paused. "I'm calling Robert and Daniel right now."

"No, no, no... Jess, don't do that. I'm fi-" I broke off on the word fine, throwing up in the toilet.

"No you're not, Katelyn. I'm calling them and that's final."

She walked back into the kitchen and picked up the phone and dialed the number. It wasn't long before someone answered the phone on the other end.

"Daniel?" she paused. "Yeah, it's Jess. Look, we need for you to come home right now." Some murmuring on the other end. "Katelyn isn't doing well. She's throwing up and she's... well, just please come home. She's really sick. I just need you to come home. I don't know what to do." A pause. "Okay, I'll see you in a few. Thanks, Daniel.... Bye."

She hung up the phone and set it down on the sink counter and then sat down next to me and held my hair back. She pulled my hair back as I threw up and put it in a ponytail with the tie on her wrist. I started crying, "Jess, it hurts..." I whined.

"I know, Kate, I know." she said, rubbing my back. "Robert and Daniel will be here soon. I promise."

I nodded, crying as I leaned my head down on the side of the toilet. I was miserable. Drinking was the worst idea ever. It didn't solve anything. Somewhere in the middle of my thoughts I was interrupted by a door opening and footsteps.

"Katelyn, Jessica!" a voice called. "Where are you?"

"We're in here!" Jessica called back. "We're in the bathroom."

I heard some more footsteps, getting louder and louder until they reached the bathroom we were in. I looked up pitifully at Robert and Daniel, whose mouths were both dropped. I must have looked horrible.

"What happened, Jessica?" Daniel asked, while I could tell that Robert was still shocked.

"She drank."

"She drank as in like actually drank? Like alcohol or something?" he asked, appalled.

Jessica nodded solemnly, "Yes," she whispered.

Robert moved towards me and kneeled down next to me. "Sweetie, are you ok?" he asked me, apparently deciding that being kind to me right now was the best way to go.

I only groaned then threw up again. I knew that Robert had one of those shocked looks on his faces. He probably couldn't get over the fact that I had drank. Me, Katelyn Rose Parker, the supposedly good one, drinking? How could that be possible? Well, it was very possible as I can attest to.

"Jessica," Daniel began. "Go upstairs. I'll be up in a second to talk to you."

She nodded and headed upstairs to our bedroom as I threw up again. Daniel sighed and sat down next to me, rubbing my back. Robert was still looking at me with concerned eyes. "I know she'll probably be fine," he said. "If she didn't have too much. But I don't know how much she had so I can't determine whether she has alcohol poisoning or not," he sighed. "This was not what I wanted to come home to."

"I know, hon." Daniel said.

"I think she's going to be okay. But that doesn't make me any less worried," he said. "She's my sister. Of course I'm worried."

"I know you are. I am too." Daniel paused. "Listen, I'm going to go upstairs and talk to Jessica about what happened. You should stay here with Katelyn."

"I was planning on it." Robert replied and then muttered under his breath, "Great way to end my anniversary." He probably didn't think I could hear him.

I cried more now, feeling even guiltier which upset my stomach more which caused me to throw up again for about the 10th time. I wished I hadn't done this. I'd just ruined their entire evening. I felt terrible and not just physically either.

I coughed as if I was about to hack something up and cried then started saying, "I'm sor... I'm sor-so-rry, Robert." I hiccupped and then threw up again, groaning.

"It's okay, Kate," he said. "You need to calm down. That's why you keep throwing up, you're not calm. Just take deep breaths. Try to calm yourself. Don't cry so much."

I nodded but still cried a little bit and I kept crying consequently throwing up until I eventually calmed down enough to where Robert could tell I wasn't going to throw up anymore and carried me up to my room. He tried to lift me up and support my weight for me but just decided to carry me instead since I fell every time he tried that.

He took the stairs slowly, so as not to upset my stomach and walked to the end of the hall where my and Jessica's room was, opening the door and walking in then setting me down on my bed. Daniel was across the room on Jessica's bed, trying to comfort her. I think she was crying, but I couldn't be sure.

Robert sat down next to me and felt my forehead, acting like the doctor he really was. "You don't have a fever, Kate, so that's good."

Daniel came over and kneeled down beside my bed. I could hear Jessica crying in the background but I was too exhausted to do anything about it, "That was a bad idea, kiddo."

I nodded, not able to say anything though I desperately wanted to say "I know."

Robert looked at Daniel desperately, "I'll keep an eye on her tonight." he said, "But other than that, there's nothing I can do."

Daniel went over and brought the trashcan on the other end of our room. "This might come in handy," he said.

I mouthed a thank you and he nodded then headed out of the room. Robert stayed where he was and said to me, "Go to sleep, honey."

It wasn't those words themselves that made me go to sleep but they did give me permission to do so. I'm not sure when I fell asleep or how but eventually I did drift off into snooze land, no dreams attached, at least none that I remembered.

When I woke up, Robert was sleeping on the floor next to my bed and Jessica was on the other side of the room, looking over at me. I suddenly felt extremely guilty about what had happened. What the hell was I thinking? Drinking? And on Robert and Daniel's wedding anniversary? Why would I do such a thing? I really don't know. I guess I was just in a desperate place but that still wasn't an excuse. I didn't expect either Daniel or Robert to give me a break about this though a part of me still desperately hoped they would.

I sat up painfully, feeling like someone had punched me in the stomach, and Jessica spoke to me, "How you feeling, Kate?" she asked.

"Do you want an honest answer?" I asked her in response.

"Yes."

"Like crap." There, I said it; blunt as that.

"You really shouldn't have done that last night. It was a big mistake, Kate."

"I know," I whispered. "And I feel terrible about it." I paused. "Do you think they'll spank me for this?"

"I don't know, Katelyn." she said. "I don't know."

"Neither do I." I whispered.

Robert rolled over and groaned then sat up and looked up at me, "How you feeling, Kate?"

"Like crap." I said.

He stood up and sat down on the bed. "I'd imagine so," he said. "Seems like you got yourself trashed last night."

"I know." I said. "I feel terrible about it."

"Well, you, Daniel and I will talk about this later, after you feel a little better," he paused. "Are you okay enough to where I can leave for a little bit?"

I nodded, "I'm fine Robert. Go ahead."

"Okay, I'll be back. Get some rest, you'll need it."

I looked at Jessica and sighed. I definitely wasn't looking forward to the upcoming events. With a restless mind I laid down and fell back into sleep, and this time, it wasn't dreamless. It was just another nightmare, about my parents and what had just happened. And it was terrible.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

When I woke up it was dark outside and no one was in the room with me. I looked at the clock; it read 8:32. I must have slept for over 9 hours. Oh well, at least I was well rested now, but that definitely didn't mean I was ready for this talk I was going to have with Robert and Daniel. Regardless, I didn't want to spend the rest of my time in bed. I was the type of girl who at some point, wanted to get things over with. Sure, immediately I was a procrastinator but once I got to a certain point, I just wanted things over with. So, I changed my clothes because I had been in jeans and a t-shirt that entire time and wanted to be uncomfortable and I headed downstairs.

I was just going down the stairs when I stopped because I heard Daniel and Robert talking.

"I don't know what to do, Daniel," Robert said. "Katelyn isn't like this. She doesn't do things like this. I don't get what made her drink last night."

"Did you ever think that maybe she was more affected than your parents' deaths than you think she was?"

"No," Robert replied. "It never even crossed my mind."

"It's probably something worth thinking about," Daniel said. "I bet you anything it had something to do with that."

"Maybe you're right. But then there's the question of what we're going to do with her." he paused. "I don't know if it's right to spank her right now. This just isn't like her. It was obviously a last resort for something. She wouldn't do this for no reason."

"Well, I guess we'll talk about it with her when she wakes up." Daniel replied.

"I guess so." Robert sighed. "I don't want to spank her."

"I know."

They stopped talking for a moment and I decided that now would be the time to finish walking down the stairs and to enter into the kitchen where they were sitting.

Robert and Daniel looked up at me as I walked through the doorway of the kitchen. "Hey, kiddo. I see you finally decided to get up." Daniel said.

I fake laughed a little bit, "Yeah," I replied. "I finally decided to get up."

"Go ahead and take a seat," said Daniel.

I nodded, but still not really looking forward to it sat down next to Robert and across from Daniel. "Where's Jessica?" I asked.

"She's over at Camilla's house."

"Oh..." I replied, slightly shocked. "Okay." It must have been pretty bad if they wanted to send her to Camilla's house while they dealt with me.

There was an awkward silence before Robert finally said, "What possessed you to drink last night, Katelyn?"

"I don't know." I told him.

"I'm trying to make sense of this in my head and none of it is fitting together. You seemed fine. You were handling mom and dad's death pretty well." I wanted to cry at those words but I didn't. "You've been getting good grades. You haven't gotten into much trouble at all. I don't understand why you would even think of drinking," he paused. "This isn't like you, Katelyn." another pause. "Just please let me know what is going on, Katelyn. I need to understand."

I bit my lip. I didn't like asking for help. I didn't like showing my emotions. I didn't want to tell him the truth because that meant I was giving in to letting other people help me. I didn't want help. I didn't need help. And as bad as this sounds, I wasn't Jessica. I was more stable. I was normal. God, I loved her to death but I sure as hell didn't want to have a problem.

"Katelyn?" Daniel asked, "Are you okay?"

I shook my head, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. "I'm not okay. I haven't been okay. I will not be okay." I said. "Robert, I don't show anything because I don't want people to know. That's how I deal with it. I just bury it. But it just spilled over. I drank because I wanted to forget. I just wanted to forget about mom and dad for one day. Turns out it was the worst mistake ever."

They both remained speechless at what I had just said. Robert took my hands. "It was a mistake, Katelyn. That's true. But never feel like you have to hide your emotions in front of me, not like this. It isn't healthy and you're just going to cause more problems for yourself down the road if you keep doing that."

I nodded. "I know."

Robert looked over at Daniel and Daniel looked back. "I'm not sure, Daniel. I'm not so sure it's ok to do this."

I gulped. I knew what they were talking about.

"I think we need to, Robert. Regardless of why she did what she did, I think we need to."

He nodded and then turned to me. "Katelyn, as much as it kills me to do this, I'm going to have to spank you. And I'm sorry, but you did something dangerous that you shouldn't have done and it could have killed you. Daniel and I can't let this slide."

I nodded, tears in my eyes. I understood perfectly, even though I hated every word of what he was saying.

"Go upstairs and wait for us, Katelyn." Daniel told me.

I nodded again and wiped the tears from my eyes. Robert gave me a hug. Normally he would have been stricter about this. I think he had a soft spot for me in this exact situation; but only because of the reasoning behind the drinking.

I turned around and walked upstairs to my bedroom to wait for them. It seemed like hours, days, even months that I waited for them. But eventually they came up the stairs and Daniel was carrying with him a wooden spoon. I mean, I was slightly surprised but it's not like I was completely surprised. It's like this whole situation had just drained everything out of me. I didn't want to fight anymore. I just wanted to accept the consequences for what they were. Nothing surprised me that night.

"Okay," Daniel said. "I'm going to spank you with my hand then I'm going to spank you with this spoon. After that Robert is going to spank you with his hand and give you ten smacks with the hairbrush," I had not noticed the hairbrush in Robert's hand before and to be perfectly honest, I was quasi afraid by this point. "Okay?"

"Okay." I answered.

"Stand up, Katelyn." Daniel said as he sat down next to me on the bed. I stood up and he immediately guided me over his lap, then pulled down my pants and panties and started smacking me mildly. And the worst part was he wasn't scolding. I almost felt like I'd rather hear his voice than silence. He kept spanking me and spanking me until my bottom was stinging and a few tears had come out of my eyes. I wasn't fighting though. I'd decided I wouldn't do that at all.

"Katelyn, Robert and I are very disappointed in the fact that you would do something this dangerous. You could have harmed yourself terribly. In fact, Katelyn, you could have died last night and that would have devastated your brother, Jessica and me not to mention all the other people in your life. You have too much to live for, too many good things going for you to just risk it by binge drinking and at the age of 13? What were you thinking?" he paused. "I hope you realize how serious this is, Katelyn Rose."

"I do." I replied.

"Good." Daniel said and with that he lifted the wooden spoon up and smacked my bottom numerous times, over and over again until I was sure my bottom was bright cherry red. His rhythm wasn't definite but it hurt like hell nonetheless. All he got out of me was a few tears though. Like I said, I don't like showing my emotions that much. He ended with two very hard smacks to both of my thighs then lifted me up.

The second he got up, Robert came over and looked at me with sad, disappointed eyes. Then, he sat down on the bed and guided me over, rubbing my back for a moment. "I'm only doing this because I love you, Katelyn. I don't want to see you get hurt."

I nodded, bracing myself for the first smack. A millisecond later, his hand came crashing down on my backside like a thunderous roar. It hurt like shit. And for some reason, with Robert, I just automatically started crying more. I don't know what it was for sure but I'm guessing it was probably because I was closer to Robert and disappointing him hurt me more than anything. And Robert, well, you'd think he'd be a little more merciful but it didn't seem that way as he was crashing his hand into my backside over and over again until I was sure I was going to die.

"I never ever want to hear of you drinking before you're 21 again, Katelyn Rose." Robert told me when he had stopped spanking me with his hand. "It's dangerous and illegal and you could get very hurt by doing that. And believe me, if I ever find out you've been drinking again, something worse than what's happening today will happen. Do you understand me, Katelyn?"

"Yes, sir."

"I'm going to give you ten smacks with the hairbrush, Katelyn and then it will be all over but they're going to be hard, okay?"

"Okay..." I whispered.

He smacked me the first time incredibly hard and even though I didn't think they could get worse after that, they just intensified with each smack and before I knew it I was sobbing and sobbing. I didn't even think it was possible to be able to work up to a sob in that little amount of time but apparently was, especially since everything flooded me at once: my parents being gone, disappointing my brothers, knowing that I could have killed myself the night before. It all just flooded my mind and I started sobbing so much that I couldn't stop. It was awful.

Robert rubbed my back and tried to calm me down, "Shh, baby. It's ok, Kate. I'm all done now. We're not going to spank you anymore. I promise."

He lifted me up and held me close, hugging me tightly to make up for any pain, emotionally and otherwise that I was feeling. "I know it's been hard for you, Kate." he said to me. "But I'm always here for you. I love you." He kissed my forehead and lifted me up. Daniel walked towards me and gave me a hug as well.

"I love you too, kiddo. Promise me you'll never do this again."

"I promise" I told them.

"Good girl." Daniel said and he smiled, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close as Robert came and did the same.

Yes, it was a bad thing but at least in the end I knew I was loved.