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Coach Jay's Awards and Trophies
The crown jewel of coach Jay's accolades, the 1976 Heisman Trophy. On permanent display in Coach Jay's garage.



Popular belief would lead one to think that this is in fact the Heisman Trophy that was awarded to Billy Sims. Well that is ony a half truth, Billy lost the rights to this award when he was swept by Coach Jay in an epic all-night Sweet Valley High Tournament.

The 1995 Sears Trophy, awarded by the governing body of the NCAA to the greatest football team in the nation, Nebraska. It was last "seen" late in May of 1996.

It is widely speculated by many including then Coach Tom Osbourne that a conspiracy to "boost" this trophy was hatched between Coach Jay and this man.



The 1986 Greater Twin Cities Regional "Bowling Blinger" Championship Trophy. As it is widely documented that Coach Jay was the captain of his bowling team for three years while at CJU (he was subsequently banned for life from amateur as well as professional play for doping). Coach Jay admits he can't turn such passions off, thus setting the stage for the events of January 13th, 1986.

On the final day of league bowling Coach Jay was percentage points ahead of Irene "the Irradicator" Chow, a homemaker from the greater St. Paul area. Larold seemed to have the trophy all but locked up going into the 10th and final frame, needing only 1 pin to vanquish his arh-rival. Larold went out and hit 2 strikes in that final frame but was judged to have gone "heinously" over the foul line (various witness accounts claim Coach Jay traveled the length of the lanes, ball in hand and then kicked down every last pin). Later that evening after intense discussion, Coach Jay offered to continue this debate outside with either "Mr. Chow or his old lady." It was decided then that Larold Jay was the rightful winner of the title.

The Orange Bowl trophy, which rests in all its splendor amongst Coach Jay's old Golf Digests is a thing of sheer mystery.

While Coach Jay claims he won it last year playing quarterback for the Ragin' Cajuns, this theory is debunked immediately as Coach Jay is way too old to play and the Cajuns were not bowl eligible last year. Upon closer inspection the original inscription on the trophy has been crossed out and bears the insignia "The Coahc Jay kicks Ass Awared." The debate rages on.