Remember before when I said that Dan Rather has no legs. All of you thought, 'ha ha, that's kinda funny.' Except for that one guy who e-mailed me and said that he saw Rather within that last year to tell me that Rather does indeed have legs. Well look at these real picture of Rather. Do you see his legs? NO. But good guess anyway.
This cartoon, I mean, pictures of Dan Rather seem to suggest that Dan Rather is a corpes. I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say that Dan Rather has been raised from the dead. It would explain why here news reports are so boring, he's been dead. Probably he's legs came off when he came out of the grave. The bones aren't as strong anymore. (Jennings capitalized on this.)
So what is Rather's evil plan anyway. All zombies have evil plans (maybe not their own plans, but plans just the same). I think (and you can take this as 100% fact) he's out to lull us into a false sense of sercurity with the news. It's going to begin with Rather giving only happy news, then bam! Zombies take over the world.
I warmed you
you've been saved from reading so many bad puns I thought of while writing this.
