Shaney (11:47:10 AM): Blonde nieces are wearing me out

Dawnie (11:48:52 AM): aww, that's cute:-)

Shaney (11:49:39 AM): yeah, in a sadistic let's swim until our skin wrinkles sorta way

Dawnie (11:50:17 AM): is this just hannah, or do you have more than one blonde niece that i'm unaware of

Shaney (11:50:42 AM): I have more than one, but Hannah is the niece I speak of

Dawnie (11:50:52 AM): i figured

Dawnie (11:51:01 AM): but i really don't think i knew you had more than her

Shaney (11:51:17 AM): I have two other nieces....Hailey and Katie

Shaney (11:51:36 AM): They belong to my other brother Eric

Dawnie (11:51:44 AM): i'm pretty sure i've never heard of them

Dawnie (11:51:57 AM): oh ok

Shaney (11:52:02 AM): I rarely see them

Dawnie (11:52:46 AM): you don't have to lie, i know hannah's your favorite

Dawnie (11:52:50 AM): i'm just kidding

Shaney (11:53:06 AM): She is.

Shaney (11:53:16 AM): but she is running me ragged

Dawnie (11:53:18 AM): :-)

Dawnie (11:53:32 AM): so she loves you today then?

Dawnie (11:53:44 AM): what the hell are these nasty pictures andra sent us

Shaney (11:53:47 AM): Yeah, today. Yesterday not so much

Dawnie (11:53:53 AM): haha

Shaney (11:53:55 AM): I don't know, but they scared me

Dawnie (11:54:00 AM): me too

Dawnie (11:54:03 AM): i think i could puke

Shaney (11:54:08 AM): The dude with the apple in his penis was over the top

Shaney (11:54:29 AM): and let's not forget the 12 inch clitoris or whatever the hell that was

Dawnie (11:54:39 AM): hahaha

Dawnie (11:54:53 AM): i know, i'm not sure i can ever have sex again

Shaney (11:55:03 AM): I'm scarred, I know that

Dawnie (11:55:05 AM): you never know what you might find

Shaney (11:55:25 AM): If I ever see a 12 inch clitoris ...I don't know what I'll do

Shaney (11:55:33 AM): become a monk or something

Dawnie (11:55:37 AM): lol

Shaney (11:55:45 AM): or call an exorcist

Dawnie (11:55:46 AM): me too:-)

Shaney (11:56:09 AM): The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!

Dawnie (11:56:34 AM): haha

Dawnie (11:57:01 AM): do you think that shit is real

Shaney (11:57:07 AM): I wasn't sure you'd get the Exorcist line

Shaney (11:57:14 AM): I have my doubts

Dawnie (11:58:16 AM): oh yeah, i got it

Dawnie (11:59:37 AM): yeah that foot-long clitoris would dangle in the toilet when you're trying to take a piss

Shaney (11:59:54 AM): Wow, you put a lot of thought into that

Shaney (12:00:16 PM): You begin to understand the hardships of man

Dawnie (12:00:45 PM): you wish;-)

Shaney (12:01:30 PM): I'm not saying I have a 12 inch flacid penis, but there are times when the little bugger hits somewhere inside the bowl

Dawnie (12:01:52 PM): ahhhh, there we go

Dawnie (12:02:00 PM): crossing all those boundaries again

Shaney (12:02:05 PM): Yeah well

Shaney (12:02:35 PM): we've crossed before, now it's as familiar as going to see our grandmother

Dawnie (12:02:53 PM): my grandma, what a big penis you have

Dawnie (12:03:02 PM): the better to dangle in the toilet with my dear

Dawnie (12:03:31 PM): sorry, i have no idea where that just came from

Shaney (12:03:39 PM): psychotic break

Dawnie (12:03:52 PM): :-Di think so

Dawnie (12:03:59 PM): left you speechless, didn't it

Shaney (12:04:10 PM): See, you girls think you have it tough. At least your body parts don't scrape the insides of dirty toilets

Dawnie (12:04:32 PM): that is pretty nasty

Dawnie (12:04:43 PM): i never really thought about the fact that that would happen

Dawnie (12:05:04 PM): but see, i would never have that problem because i can't take a shit in public

Dawnie (12:05:17 PM): so i would never have to sit on a toilet

Shaney (12:05:34 PM): It's been a long time since I have actually

Dawnie (12:05:48 PM): it's hard enough for me too pee when somebody is in the next stall

Shaney (12:05:51 PM): It has to be a toilet or pants situations for me to break down and go in a public place

Dawnie (12:05:59 PM): oh yeah, me too

Dawnie (12:06:22 PM): and even then, i take my chances sometimes and run home

Shaney (12:06:51 PM): If I can I do too

Shaney (12:07:05 PM): but sometimes if you're at a concert or something you're pretty much screwed

Dawnie (12:07:12 PM): that's true

Dawnie (12:07:32 PM): that's why anytime i'm on a trip or something, i end up getting all bound up

Shaney (12:07:39 PM): oh my god

Dawnie (12:07:58 PM): i know, aren't you glad we've crossed yet another line

Shaney (12:08:26 PM): Why don't you tell me the average consistency and color of your fecal matter and get it over with

Dawnie (12:08:47 PM): well, ok

Shaney (12:08:55 PM): please God no

Dawnie (12:08:59 PM): :-)

Dawnie (12:09:10 PM): i always like it when i piss out my ass

Shaney (12:09:18 PM): ...

Dawnie (12:09:18 PM): that's a great experience

Shaney (12:09:46 PM): I'm laughing my ass off right now...

Dawnie (12:09:53 PM): i figured

Dawnie (12:10:12 PM): but that's only because you know exactly what i'm talking about, don't you

Shaney (12:10:12 PM): You better hope we get married, because if we don't I'm so putting that in a speech at your reception

Dawnie (12:10:30 PM): and if we do get married, you'll still put it in a speech

Dawnie (12:10:40 PM): so either way, it's coming out i'm sure

Shaney (12:10:43 PM): No, I'll give it to my best man so that he can incorporate it

Dawnie (12:10:55 PM): oh, i thought maybe it would be in the vow

Dawnie (12:10:56 PM): s

Shaney (12:11:10 PM): That's the most foul thing I think I've ever been able to associate with you.

Dawnie (12:11:43 PM): i, shaney, take you dawnie, for better or for worse, in pissing out your ass and in health

Dawnie (12:12:00 PM): yeah it is pretty gross

Shaney (12:12:05 PM): "Dawnie, I've known you for many years. You are my life, you are my heart, you are my soul. It wasn't until we disgussed pissing out of our ass that I knew you were the one for me.

Shaney (12:12:10 PM): "

Dawnie (12:12:34 PM): but you're about to live with andra, who frequently pisses out her ass, so you bettr get used to it

Dawnie (12:12:48 PM): i love your speech

Shaney (12:13:13 PM): You're telling me that Al has frequent bouts of watery poo?

Dawnie (12:13:18 PM): i like disgussed

Dawnie (12:13:32 PM): is that a cross between disgust and discussed

Shaney (12:13:39 PM): Actually, it was "disgust" at first

Shaney (12:13:51 PM): then I caught the mistake but forgot to change the "g"

Dawnie (12:13:53 PM): unfortunately we both do

Shaney (12:13:59 PM): ...

Dawnie (12:14:05 PM): you know how messed up pur systems are

Dawnie (12:14:09 PM): nice

Dawnie (12:14:15 PM): i will never make fun of you again

Dawnie (12:15:09 PM): actually, when i wrote "vows" earlier, i had "vowels" first

Shaney (12:15:38 PM): :-)

Shaney (12:15:52 PM): for better or worse, a-e-i-o-u...

Dawnie (12:16:00 PM): and sometimes "y"

Shaney (12:16:00 PM): ...and sometimes y

Shaney (12:16:05 PM): oh Lord

Dawnie (12:16:06 PM): and we've come full circle

Dawnie (12:16:33 PM): all of our conversations eventually tie back to a prior conversation

Shaney (12:16:56 PM): and involve a point in time where the synergy gets to a point where we say the same thing at the same time

Shaney (12:17:06 PM): that was a fantastic sentence I must say

Dawnie (12:17:10 PM): yep, it slowly builds up

Dawnie (12:17:32 PM): lots of "points" in that sentence

Shaney (12:17:39 PM): yeah, and "time"

Dawnie (12:17:46 PM): and "where"

Dawnie (12:18:15 PM): you just wanted to be sure to get you "point" across

Dawnie (12:18:25 PM): ahhh damnit

Shaney (12:18:32 PM): I considered maybe saving this chat and putting it on the page, but it's really over the top

Dawnie (12:18:56 PM): yeah, i'm not sure if the whole world needs to know that i piss out my ass

Dawnie (12:19:03 PM): but then again, i don't really care

Shaney (12:19:27 PM): This guy on MTV just cracked me up

Shaney (12:20:00 PM): I'm going to take out our last names. That way I feel better about divulging all and only those people who know us already will know the extent of our madness

Dawnie (12:20:09 PM): it could be entitled, "When foot-long clitori (that's plural of course) dangle in the toilet water"

Dawnie (12:20:27 PM): i know, that's what i was think

Shaney (12:20:30 PM): Good call.

Dawnie (12:20:32 PM): we need better screennames

Shaney (12:20:59 PM): I can go through and change them to "Shaney" and "Dawnie" and whatnot

Dawnie (12:21:42 PM): i'm not sure whether i'm more embarrassed to have people read about me pissing out my ass

Dawnie (12:21:46 PM): or my typing

Dawnie (12:21:55 PM): "that's what i was 'think'"

Dawnie (12:22:25 PM): that could actually be the title

Shaney (12:22:25 PM): I like how we've just agreed that "pissing out of my ass" is the best euphemism for the actual bodily function

Dawnie (12:22:44 PM): oh yeah, i coined that term a long time ago

Dawnie (12:22:52 PM): i mean, think about it

Shaney (12:22:59 PM): "squirts"...I've always enjoyed that one

Dawnie (12:23:02 PM): that's pretty much what it's like

Dawnie (12:23:12 PM): oh yeah, that's a good one to

Dawnie (12:23:13 PM): o

Shaney (12:23:31 PM): I've been laughing for like 3 minutes straight

Dawnie (12:23:59 PM): i always do when we're on here

Shaney (12:24:03 PM): just when it starts to subside one of us adds something that brings it back up

Dawnie (12:24:18 PM): i know, we have a hard time letting it go

Dawnie (12:24:25 PM): well you want to hear something else good

Dawnie (12:24:34 PM): normally it hurts me pretty badly to poop

Shaney (12:24:46 PM): :-\

Dawnie (12:24:57 PM): but the other night, i woke up around 3 in the morning and had to go

Dawnie (12:25:05 PM): that's a sad face

Dawnie (12:25:09 PM): are you feeling sorry for me

Shaney (12:25:32 PM): No, that's my face of pending doom

Dawnie (12:25:35 PM): anyway, i rarely wake up to poop, but i had the best poop of my life

Dawnie (12:25:40 PM): oh, i gotcha

Shaney (12:25:47 PM): Another title

Dawnie (12:25:53 PM): yeah, this was such an easy poop

Shaney (12:25:55 PM): "The Best Poop of My Life."

Dawnie (12:26:07 PM): i know, each title is better than the last

Shaney (12:26:11 PM): and the laughing starts again

Dawnie (12:26:31 PM): and i was very surprised to see that iw was such a good poop, because there was no straining involved

Dawnie (12:26:45 PM): very satisfying i must say

Dawnie (12:27:03 PM): but it was sad because it was 3 in the morning, so i had nobody to share it with

Dawnie (12:27:14 PM): so there you go

Shaney (12:27:23 PM): I have nothing to say that could bring respectability to this conversation.

Dawnie (12:27:38 PM): no, it's too far gone

Shaney (12:28:08 PM): Talked to Shawnee?

Dawnie (12:28:16 PM): no, but i need to

Shaney (12:28:21 PM): (note the subtle change of subject, my stomach hurts)

Dawnie (12:28:25 PM): i planned to call her at some point

Dawnie (12:28:40 PM): i know, it was smooth

Shaney (12:28:50 PM): I'm glad you didn't call last night.

Dawnie (12:28:56 PM): uh-oh, why

Shaney (12:29:02 PM): Every time the phone rang I was like "Please no.

Shaney (12:29:03 PM): "

Shaney (12:29:17 PM): Because I was far too tired to go out, but had you called I would have.

Dawnie (12:29:18 PM): oh, you were glad i didn't call you

Shaney (12:29:23 PM): right

Dawnie (12:29:48 PM): well i worked all day for maureen and then came home and worked at the shop until 9, so i was pretty tired myself

Shaney (12:29:58 PM): I did a full hour of swimming laps in the pool. I was worthless.

Dawnie (12:30:08 PM): wow, that's alot of laps

Shaney (12:30:15 PM): It is

Shaney (12:30:28 PM): I did it in lieu of another 5 miles at Lion's Field

Dawnie (12:31:00 PM): ewww, i don't know how you can run that far on a track

Shaney (12:31:20 PM): Well it's not a track track

Shaney (12:31:41 PM): It's more of a gravely path around the field

Dawnie (12:31:49 PM): that's true, i can picture it actually

Shaney (12:32:05 PM): If I run 6 miles it'll be my first time ever

Dawnie (12:32:18 PM): well i was thinking about doing something tonight, but i wasnt to see what the fam has in store before i make any decisions

Shaney (12:32:25 PM): but I'm going to do another week of 5 before I push to 6

Dawnie (12:32:32 PM): what's wrong with you man

Shaney (12:32:36 PM): I'll pretend I understand that last statement

Dawnie (12:32:52 PM): thank you:-)

Dawnie (12:33:04 PM): let me try again

Shaney (12:33:12 PM): Well, as it stands now laps 13-15 are more of a shuffle than a jog

Dawnie (12:33:25 PM): and keep in mind, i'm jumping back to a conversation we had 10 minutes ago

Dawnie (12:33:44 PM): hell, i'd be flat on the ground at that point

Dawnie (12:34:02 PM): i was thinking that perhaps the jugs could get together tonight

Dawnie (12:34:25 PM): but i want to see what my family has planned before i make plans with everybody else

Shaney (12:34:42 PM): gotcha

Shaney (12:34:53 PM): it was the stray "wasn't" that had me confused

Dawnie (12:35:06 PM): having said that, i think i'm going to go get in the pool

Shaney (12:35:16 PM): :-(

Dawnie (12:35:22 PM): i know, that was nice thrown in there

Dawnie (12:35:29 PM): don't be sad, i 'll call you later

Shaney (12:35:35 PM): :-)

Shaney (12:35:47 PM): I think I might go to the mall or something

Dawnie (12:36:10 PM): sounds good

Dawnie (12:36:15 PM): buy me something nice

Shaney (12:36:22 PM): I'll see what I can do.