I wish I had a picture of Johnnie. He looks like Johnny Depp. Half the time I was wondering why such a sexy man would want to have anything to do with me. So when Phrank told me that Johnnie didn't even love me, that he probably didn't even look at me during sex, my self-hatred believed him.

But Johnnie's mojo is not what made him beautiful. He has this heart of gold, and I'm amazed that he even forgives me. Me, Phrank, and Diego left Johnnie stranded in a parking lot in the rain like an animal, but he knows that it was the Beast inside of me that allowed this to happen.

Here's the letter that my parents finally gave me that he wrote me from jail. They won't give me an address; presumably, he's either still locked up in Ocala or they transferred him to California prison. My parents think that I was doing fine in Ocala until Johnnie came along, but if only they knew...

If anyone can help me contact John Borghese, please let me know as soon as possible. Anyway, here's the letter.

5:30 AM March 15, 04

Dear Lauren,

Good morning. How are you? Fine I hope! I pray and will continue to do so, asking the Lord to direct and guide you to overcome your dilemna, out of harm's way.

Hopefully realizing I meant no "harm" nor "betrayed" you in any way.

If there's anything you don't believe, please believe this. I care and will continue to be there as a true friend.

I hold no grudges, nor do I regret having anything to do with you. If anything, I forgive you and I won't hold you responsible for what has happened or any "losses." I clearly see what is true and understand you as well as your passion that led you to your obsession.

If you find it anywhere in your heart, I'd like to hear from you. I'm concerned, and I do miss you as well. Let me know you're breathing and able to feel what is real between you and I. Lauren at this very moment, there's nothing I want more than to hear from you and letting me know you are alright.

I've invested my time, efforts, mind, heart, and soul with the love and care to turn back now. NO WAY! We have been through so much in such a short period of time.

It's almost as if we knew each other forever. The connection, the passion, lust, temptations, challenges, has drawn us together and transpired into running with our obsession. Yes! This is true, but I cared enough to know when to put the brakes on.

Not to allow you to continue to fall deep into your addiction or see you heading for a wreck. Unlike others I know and thought they were true to you. I don't have to mention who that so-called friend is. He has to live with that and his Karma! (I pray he changes his selfish ways.)

Anyway, I'm sorry, I just hope you realize and see that much.

Take care, and remember I'm your true friend and will always care and love you. "Two the Hard Way!" Johnnie B. XXX

Here without you! Thinking of you always.

Please Write Back! Thank you.
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