ULTIMATE BOOZE HANDICAP MATCH
Drunk and Drunker vs. Booker T
BB- We just saw what happened! Migitor will be out of action for this Play-Per-View!
DS- That’s right Bobby? Those glass bottles sure so hurt. Now do you know anything about this match? Because I have no clue what is supposed to happen in this match.
BB- Well? According to my sources, this match is going to be like none other!
DS- So you don’t know?
BB- Well... No? I don’t know?
DS- Thanks a lot Bobby.
”Tub-Thumper” by Chumbawamba hits the PA, and Drunk and Drunker walks out to a standing ovation. The fans scream and shout as The Hobo stubbles down the ramp, as Calabaza struts down the ramp with his chains, and flannel vest. The two enter the ring, and The Hobo is handed a microphone.
The Hobo- Bring out the tequila and small little pools!
BB- What!?
DS- Yu can say that again! What is going on here?
Stagehands bring a small kiddy pool in front of the ring, and hose. The pool begins filling with alcohol as Booker T’s theme music finally begins to play. He shakes his head as he walks on stage. He does his usual pose as his huge pyro goes off. Booker shakes the hands of people in the crowd, as the stagehands begin to set up other random things.
DS- Well this match is going to be a handicapped match, with one fall, I guess.
BB- Did you see there rule books? I don’t think it’s going to be just one fall? I think there going to have to do lots of weird things.
DS- this is going to be weird Bobby? Weird and twisted.
The Hobo smiles as Booker T enters the ring. Calabaza smiles, as he looks at Booker T. Booker T just shakes his head. The Hobo hands the referee the rulebook to the Ultimate Booze Fight Match, and The ref thumps through it. He is handed a microphone as he makes an announcement.
Referee- This match is going to be Tornado Tag Team rules, one fall count!
The bell sounds and The Hobo explodes from the corner and hits Booker T with a huge clothesline. Booker T falls into the corner, The Hobo begins to stomp away at him. Calabaza walks over to Booker after The Hobo is done stomping at him, pulls him up.
BB- Booker T is in an uphill battle…
Booker T stands up and gives Calabaza a quick jawbreaker. He knees him in the gut and hits a tilt-a-whirl back breaker on him. The Hobo turns around and tries to help Calabaza, but Booker T sends him out of the ring, and he lands in a pool of alcohol on the outside. Booker T turns around and falls to the ground. Calabaza applies a Mexican toehold. Booker T grabs a hold of the bottom rope. The referee tells him to break the hold but he yells no. The referee rings the bell.
Referee- The winner, and still US Tag Team Champions, Booker T and Migitor!
The Hobo rolls into the ring with one of the books, and flips it open to a random page. The referee looks and shakes his head, he is handed a microphone once again.
Referee- My mistake, this match is a Tornado Tag Team, No DQ, no rope break, one count fall match!
Booker T looks at the referee, and starts talking to him. Calabaza stands on all fours, and The Hobo bounces into the ropes and jumps off of Calabaza. The referee jumps out of the way as The Hobo grabs onto Booker T’s neck and hits a flying neckbreaker off of Booker.
DS- What a move!
Booker T is dragged up by his arm, as The Hobo puts him into a standing arm lock. Meanwhile Calabaza climbs the turnbuckle, he jumps off and splashes on Booker T’s shoulder. He falls to the ground in pain.
BB- The team of Drunk and Drunker are doing some good team work against, Booker T.
DS- Too bad it’s only Booker T.
Booker T rolls out of the ring in pain holding his shoulder, the referee begins to start the count out. The Hobo slides out of the ring after Booker T. Booker grabs a chair and smashes it into The Hobo’s head, the Hobo falls to the floor, as Calabaza bounces into the ropes and flies over the 3rd rope. He lands his vaulting press on Booker T, and the referee is on 9. He counts the 10 count, and is handed a microphone.
Referee- This match is ruled a double count out and so still your US Tag Team Champions, Booker T and Migitor!
DS- I guess Drunk and Drunker lost.
The Hobo holds his head in pain and rolls into the ring with the bug rule book again. He flips it open as the referee shakes his head.
Referee- My mistake again, this match has no count outs either!
BB- This match has everything, But the kitchen sink!
DS- Calabaza pulled out the kitchen sink from underneath the ring, Bobby.
BB- Well I’ll be.
Calabaza holds a sink up and Booker T quickly drop kicks it into his face. The Hobo climbs out of the ring, and jumps from the apron and hits a spiked DDT on him. Booker holds his head while The Hobo pulls a table from underneath the ring.
DS- I think we are going to see wood tonight!
BB- But who will go through it!
Calabaza tosses Booker T into the ring, while The Hobo sets up the table. Booker stubbles up to his feet and The Hobo slaps him over to Calabaza. Booker is set up for the Great Pumpkin Driver when he reverses it into the Book End. Calabaza is sent through the table. Booker goes for the pin!
DS- 1…2…3!! Booker and Migitor keep there titles!
BB- Wait The Hobo has the rule book…
The referee is handed the mic, as he reads a page of the book, and shakes his head once more.
Referee- After a pinfall, Texas Death Match rules apply!
Booker looks at the referee; he begins to yell at him. The referee shoves him back and begins to count the ten count to see if Calabaza gets up. Calabaza grabs onto the ropes and pulls himself up. The Hobo explodes and tackles Booker T to the ground. He begins to pound on his head.
DS- Lou Thesz Press there Bobby.
BB- I know…
The Hobo gets up and Calabaza waits in the corner, he taps his foot on the mat. Booker T gets up and is hit with a super kick right to his jaw. Booker T rolls on the mat in pain. The Hobo shoves Calabaza and yells. Calabaza smiles, and then waits for Booker T to get up. He stumbles out of the corner and The Hobo picks him up for a powerbomb.
BB- What move is this?
The Hobo has him in the air and he falls backwards, meanwhile Calabaza grabs onto his neck from behind and lands an inverted DDT. Calabaza goes for the pin.
BB- What a move!
DS- 1…2…3! Now we got to have the ten count!
The referee begins to count the ten count, and Booker T is not moving at all.
DS- The ten count is over! I guess the winners are Drunk and Drunker.
The referee is handed the microphone.
Referee- The winner, and new US Tag Team Champions, Drunk and Drunker!
The Hobo and Calabaza are awarded there titles, and the two climb the turnbuckles. “Tub-Thumper” hits the PA, and the lotta bottom girls with various alcohols come out. The Hobo tosses a can of beer, and he drinks his immediately.
BB- There’s nothing like seeing two booze hounds celebrate is there Dave?
DS- I kind of feel sorry for Booker. He gave his best, and he just couldn’t win alone.
BB- Who cares; The Hobo is swimming in one of those pools of Tequila!
DS- You cease to amaze me Dave…
Winners and New United States Tag Team Champions: Drunk and Drunker