Ok, well I adore my roomate Jenny. She's tops, really, but she says the weirdest shit in her sleep. As of tonight, I decided to transcribe all the sleeptalking conversations we have and put them on this page for posterity.
Conversation # 1, Short but Weird
(I turn on the light so I don’t trip on shit on the way to the bathroom.)
Jenny: Can I help you?
Alex: Um what?
Jenny: Are you looking for anything in particular?
(I just go take a piss and choose to ignore the helpful saleswoman who has taken over Jenny’s body.)
Conversation # 2, A Little Weirder
(I’m sitting here on computer, talking to Josh, and she rolls over.)
Jenny: Oh don’t get Alan pissed now.
(That one was muffled; I think she said that.)
Alex: What?
Jenny: I figured it out.
Alex: Figured what out?
Jenny: I just run on a completely different schedule than everyone else. At dinnertime and like 8-9 I'm like play play play and everyone else is like what the fuck is she talking about?
Alex: Uh-huh, ok.
Jenny: And they're like talking about problems in South America and I'm like PONIES!
Alex: Jenny? Are you ok?
Jenny: Mmm.
Alex: Are you awake?
Jenny: Huh? Yeah. Mmm.
Alex: ‘Cause you just talked about South America and ponies.
Jenny: Hmm. Ok.
(And she rolls over and goes to sleep, or I guess just shuts up because I think she was sleeping the whole time.)
Conversation # 3, as told by Nick
Jenny was sleeping on the floor of a hotel room in Fredericksburg, VA when she sits up and says "I feel lousy" before promptly lying back down. Another couple minutes later, she sits up again and says "I'm not cold" before again lying down, apparently still asleep. Another few minutes pass before she sits up one last time to say "I'm freezing" before she sleeps for the rest of the night rather silently, for her. Ok, so it's not that funny, but it does seem like a very Jenny thing to say.
Conversation # 4, One Long Rambling
Quit it. C’mon, I’m getting up. C’mon, no touching no touching, get up. Don’t play, Nevada…give me some space, I feel sick, my throat really hurts.
Conversation # 5, Saying You're Awake Doesn't Mean Anything
Jenny: Stop hitting. Don't hit me. Please don't hit me.
Alex: (failed attempt to stifle laughter)
Jenny: (rolling over in my direction)Stop whispering.
Alex: Are you awake?
Jenny: Yeah.
Alex: Are you still feeling sick?
Jenny: I'm doing much better than yesterday, but I'm cold.
Alex: Want a blanket?
Jenny: No.
Upon asking her the next day, she swears she remembers nothing and was definitely asleep. That just goes to show you that coherence is possible in sleep, albeit rarely executed by our dear Jenny.
Random Comments by Unconscious Jenny Not Worthy of Being Called Conversations
"Big people can but short people can't. No, Jenny. Sorry."
"4...3...2...1"
"There's uh...there's a seat on the nice people van."
"Shot down one, it's great."
"What? A barbecue? Sweet. No, wait, it's one of the big girl torsos; nevermind."
"I don't really know...No, I don't know...I don't really know how to do it."
Go back to Main Gallery