Here be Wampires!!!
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Procol Harum
Aren't kebabs one of the greatest things on Earth?

I feel like going for a walk but have quite a lot to do this evening. It's currently 21 degrees Celsius, 94% humidity. Not a bad night really.

Does anyone ever wonder if there might actually be vampires out there in the world. I'm not talking about drunken morons running around pretending to bite people. I mean, actual, physical beings that will turn to dust in full sun. It's a interesting thought.

That there are bloodsucking creatures in this world is a documented fact. They're called corporations, multi-nationals, conglomerates etc. They come in all shapes and sizes- McDonald's, Monsanto, Nike, Haliburton, Microsoft, Shell, BHP, AOL Time Warner etc etc etc. I'm not talking about these either.

I mean fangs and a crypt, a lust for blood and a pathological hatred of cross-shaped things. Why don't vampires like crosses? You'd think Christians would hate them. Oh, let's immortalise the instrument that killed our saviour! Sounds rather daft if you ask me.

Anyway, vampires. They're real. They've got to be. It written somewhere that vampires have walked the Earth. I George W. Bush can win two elections, then I have to believe in vampires. And faeries, and golems, and trolls and the tooth-fairy (don't get me started on Santa Claus!!!). I keep wandering away from the point don't I?

Well, how's this. There is no point, I have nothing in particular to say so I will just write things as they come to me. Sweet, I hear you say, this will be fun. Cut out the sarcasm and read this.....

VAMPIRES ARE REAL!!!!!!!!

Prove it? I can't, but then again, do I really have to.

Did Bush win the last two U.S. elections? Did Hitler really die in that bunker? Did Apollo 11 land on the moon? Are red, blue and yellow really primary colours? Was Beethoven deaf? Does 23 + 15 equal 38 everywhere in the universe? Does pi definately go on for infinity? Why is Celine Dion still performing? Is Yusaf Islam really Cat Stevens, or is he Harry Chapin?

Some things don't need to proven for many people to believe them. Even when things are disproven, some will always go on believing. It's just the way we are.

Take these four statements for example. Think about what you already believe about the topics as you read them.

1. Princess Di was not murdered at the behest of the Queen, Prince Charles and the highest levels of British government.
2. A team of scientists at a Swedish university have discovered that pi ends at the 4,102,322,988th decimal place.
3. President Bush really did win the 2000/2004 elections, regardless of provisional votes and the occaisional errors.
4. Hermann Hesse's newly discovered diaries reveal that Hitler had left Germany for an undisclosed location in June 1943. Further sources placed him in Argentina and a team of investigative reporters found his grave dated 13/11/1989.

Now, what are your impressions of these topics now?

Do you believe beyond a doubt that which you have held to be true, or do you believe these statements? Or are you sitting on the fence, so to speak?

I think all four stories are balderdash (sorry, don't get to use that one too often). That's my opinion, and I may be wrong, but I may be right. So, if for example, I am right on four out of four occasions, I may also be right about vampires. I think I am.

VAMPIRES ARE REAL!!!!!!!

They're as real as fairy bread and garden gnomes. Things that, until the 20th century, were thought to only exist in mythology. It's the same with troll bridges. How many of you have come to a bridge only to find some hairy creature in a booth demanding payment for safe passage across the bridge?

There are many things in this world that we cannot possibly comprehend (tax systems of the world unite). Things that are there just to add a little mystery, surprise and joy into our lives. Sure, some may kill you in surprisingly mysterious ways with much joy, but others still, greet us with love and kindness...and kill us in even more mysteriously surprising ways. That's our little world and I'm happy to be part of it. This world rocks, at least compared to the others I've seen.

So, in conclusion, VAMPIRES ARE REAL!!!!!!

I watch Buffy and Angel. Do not fear though, nowhere on Earth is there such a high concentration of vampire activity as in beautiful Sunnydale. Outside there, we're reasonably safe.

Good night.

Is it Woden's Day Already?
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Blackmore's Night

Seems like it was only Thor's Day yesterday.

Where does time go? January took forever and February flying past at break-neck speed.

I really am not sure why I'm even making an entry today. I'm so damn tired there's nothing on my mind even.

I did watch a documentary on the Christian Coalition last night. God, those people need help!

Religion and politics go together like custard powder and tap water. It's just one big gooey mess that takes years to clean up.

Sure, a religious or more specifically, spiritual, person may bring positivity and ethics into politics, but as an entire system, it opens the door for a new dark ages. Of course, the problem in the Middle East, according to those who make the news, is the mix of Islamic fundamentalists and political motivation. There is no distinct different between these 'terrorists' and Christian fundamentalists. They're both as dangerous as each other. One will shoot, the other will undermine the very freedoms that were initiated when church and state were first seperated.

It is a dangerous road that the U.S. is travelling. There have been similar moves here in Australia, less successful, but nonetheless disturbing.

That's all for now.

LOOKOUT, There are Llamas
Mood:  special
Now Playing: Phish- The Story Of The Ghost
Topic: Llama
This is a Llama.

Llama's are fantastic animals. They have four legs and a head upon a rotating shaft called a 'neck'.

They are much bigger than frogs and don't say 'ribbet' (except when pretending to be a frog).

There is nothing you can say to a llama that it hasn't already heard.

They love mountains. The one pictured above actually hates mountains and moved to Dreamworld, Gold Coast, Australia to be away from them (it's pretty flat around Dreamworld)

Llama's are not related to the blue whale, or any other sea creature.

Llama tastes like chicken.

The Dalai Lama is not actually a llama. He too likes mountains however.

There are llama's still alive today. They are not extinct. That's dodo's.

Llama's may look like someone bred a donkey with a camel but that's just NOT TRUE.

I like llama's.

You should like llama's too.

Always trust a llama.

See ya.

Love-Struck Cowboys And The Epiphany Of Mary-Jane
Mood:  amorous
Now Playing: Cake...I can't move on, I need help!!! This new album rocks!
I will mention at this point that you should not rely on my titles to actually bear any resemblance to the contents of my inane ramblings.

Do you ever get the feeling that there are too many people in this world who are completely miserable with their circumstances. I do. It's really not at all necessary either.

'Some people like to make life, a little tougher than it is' (Yes, it's a Cake song)

For many, myself included, it is difficult at times to move away from bad situations. This doesn't concern me so much, things happen and sometimes not much can be done about them. People die, they lose jobs, they fall down stairs or get injured in tragic boating accidents off Majorca.

My main concern is those people who are so into misery that they conciously perpetuate it for themselves. What's with that? Nothing makes these people happy! Occaisonally you'll find ones who find 'happiness' in some overblown obsession. This can take the form of a favourite actor/musician/group or sport, or even things such as housework and their kids. It's unhealthy. It just uses one thing as a complete focus for their happiness.

What happens when something goes wrong?
The band breaks up.
The kids leave home.
The sportsperson gets banned for drug use.
The actor turns out to be something that they're not (ie just another human being).

This is when the shit hits the fan. Some commit suicide, others- murder. Others sink into depression or addiction and never really know any form of happiness at all.

These things can happen to anyone, but those prone to influencing their own misery for whatever reason, tend to wind up hurting themselves or those around them.

Some people have really bad luck, and things never seem to go well for them, others make that happen. Why?
I don't have the answers, I wish I did because I've known a few people like this.

I've also known people with a lot of problems with depression, I've been there briefly myself from time to time. Many sufferers of depression feel worse when they effect those around them. People who spend their days wallowing in their own pits of despair and self-perpetuated misery tend not to care so much. It's the sympathy vote they go for. Depression and misery are two completly different creatures.

I know that there are some who have no concept of what they are doing, again it is not these people that irritate me so.

It is those people who really do 'make life, a little tougher than it is'. in order to make conversation or gain sympathy.

Well, I don't know where that came from. This may be the only reasonably coherent statement you will ever read on this page, but gosh it was fun, wasn't it?

That actually makes me think of a book I have- 'Depression And Music:- Prelude To A HIstorical Theme' (M.J. van Lieburg, Organon, Netherlands, 1989)

"Music therapy is presently defined as 'a diagnosis-specific method of treatment in psychotherapy which, adjusted to psychopathological requirements, receptively and actively applies the specific communiation medium, music, in order to obtain therapeutic effects in the treatment of neuroses, psychomatic disorders, psychoses and neuropsychiatric illness'. The conclusion that depressive patients in particular would benefit from these new forms of music therapy proves once again that the thought of a 'circulus therapie', of the alternating flourishing and decline of empirically substantiated, but not 'scientifically' explainable methods of treatment, also in the history of therapy for depressive disorders, is an established part of the historical development." (p.74)

After all that I think I have to make the song of the day 'Happy Go Lucky Me' by Paul Evans. Guaranteed to pick anyone up (almost).

Also, why is it that when I put something in a safe place, I often forget where that place is? Instead of putting something on a bookcase or next to the TV, I put away somewhere thinking it will be safe. I guess those things are safe because I can't cause them any harm if I know not where they are. Hmmmmm.

And, the ultimte question of course is-

WHY IS ORANGE?

Bye.

Bats In The Belfry
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Cake..............still!!!!!
Are there?
Bats in the belfry?

I don't know whether to celebrate or have them exterminated. It's like that sometimes, you realise something has happened and you're not really sure if it's a good or a bad thing. I visited a friends blog earlier and clicked the 'Next Blog' only to be confronted by a husband and wife uploading naked photos of themselves. I have no problem with this, it's usually a sign of some self-esteem and should be respected for that. But, on the other hand, where's the need for it? Where is the compulsion to share your bodies with the world? It leads me to wonder-
Why am I posting these messages?
Who's going to read them?
Am I making a relevant contribution to society at large or at all?
Does anyone really care?
If I stopped posting messages, would anybody know?
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
What is the average air-speed velocity of a fully-laden swallow (African Swallow)?

Anyway, here are the answers-
Because I want to.
Possibly nobody, maybe somebody, It doesn't really matter.
Absolutely not.
Ditto.
Hmmm, I would.
Ask a Buddhist, they're really good with that sort of question.
It depends on whether it's carrying a coconut or not.

I think the song for the day is 'Wading In The Velvet Sea'- Phish. If you don't know it then you're not going to have much of a day.
IT'S THE SONG OF THE DAY PEOPLE.

The word for the day is:- Perambulate!!!

And that somehow leads to the question...Why aren't our legs retractable?
Wouldn't that be great?
Squeezing past people in the cinema. Excuse me sir, could you retract your legs so I may pass?
It would be so useful.

I'm going now dear diary. Please don't think me as weird when I say, I love you!

Is there a man in the moon, or is he just cheese?
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Cake still, as per last entry
The moon is definately feminine. That's a scientifically proven fact. No arguing that.

That there is a man in the moon brings forth a barrage of questions, mostly of a Freudian bent.

What is the man doing in the moon? That sounds somewhat deviant if you ask me, especially if he has cheese. Some sort of fromage fetish?

What's he doing there anyway? Eating cheese and being in the moon.

Anyway, what is with band names?
Phish, Cake, Morphine, Insane Clown Posse, Nine Inch Nails, Filter...
I use to come up with band names in high school.
Konstriktor, Triassic Warriors, Close Encounters With The Third World, Julius Furbean And His Happy Parrots, Toad The Wet Sprocket...ooops, that one's not mine.

I should go to bed.
I have one view of sleeping. It's a complete waste of time. Sure, without it we would hallucinate, kill the neighbours and post weird, incoherent messages on the internet, but one third of our lives...gone in darkness.
I want to invent some way of never having to sleep. Ironic, cause I could sure do with some right now.

ONE THIRD OF YOUR LIFE WILL BE SPENT PROSTRATE WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED. (Not including blinking and microsleep)

Such a waste...

Until next time, good night.

Maxwell's Silver Hammer
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: Cake (Pressure Chief/Comfort Eagel/Prolonging The Magic/Fashion Nugget/Motorcade Of Generosity- they've been on all day.
Joan was quizzical
Studies metaphysical
Science in the home
(Lennon/McCartney)

I'm not sure why that just came to me. I was thinking of taking a hammer to this computer- word association, too many boffins for my liking.

I owe this whole idea of creating a blog to a friend of mine, a strange little man, but a friend all the same. We wouldn't get far in life if we didn't allow ourselves to befriend strange little men. There's something very primal about it. Very instinctive. It makes me wonder about the friends of the first person who discovered that cow's milk was tasty.

"Hey, Romulus, suck on this for a while, tell me what you think".
"Sure"
"Well?"
"S'right ain't it Remus?"
"Yes, yes it is my friend"
"Tell me, why did you decide to suck on this part of the cow, Rom?"
"Dunno Remus, it just seemed...right"
"Your a strange little man Romulus...strange"

Music Community

Just thought I'd insert that link as it is my MSN Community where we talk about music, all music, whatever you like. Aaron Copland to Zappa, Appalachian Hula Dancing to Zimbabwean Panpipes, Avant Garde to Zero Regard For Sensitive Ears. Whatever, it's all music and it can all be talked about.

Back to zebra crossings. Regardless of the fact that zebras don't use them, I've never seen a zebra with completely parrallel stripes. Are they a fashion faux pas or are they the next big trend. Parrellel zebra stripes. I'm sure zebra's are just as fashion conscious and you or I, but it seems a little unnatural. I guess we as humans have plastic surgeons to iron out the things we don't like about ourselves. I'm gonna start spray-painting zebra's: it's my duty as a conservation-minded caring person.

If anybody out there ever reads this stuff, please, feel free to let me know.

Do you have kids? Stastically, you possibly do. There's a lot of children out there. I have two myself. Beautiful little girls. Sweet, loving, kind-hearted, rude, demanding. They really are quite different to adults aren't they? Such conversationalists, and not at all bogged down by the trappings of pronunciation, syntax or even tact. I love that.

This situation could happen in a million or more households around the world. All that is required is one father, one 3-4 year old daughter and a green plastic cup.

"Dad, can I have more juice please". Not a bad start.
"Ok, hold on, I'm just finishing these dishes"
"But, Dad, I need to talk to you" At this point I stop doing dishes and turn to face her.
"What sweetie"
"Daaaad"
"Yes"
"You need to get more juice" Thrusting a cup towards my face.
"Ok, just let me finish doing these few things"
"Daaaad" She takes a few steps towards me "I think I need you" I stop again and face her.
"What do you need me for?"
"I need more juice" I've wised up now, I'm going to finish what I said I would and then get her juice. Without looking at her.
"Just a minute honey" A green, plastic cup flashes before me and into a sink where I have been rinsing cooking oil off an oven tray.
"Can you get me some more juice please Daddy?"

How do their minds work? Fascinating.
This of course was a dramatic reconstruction and may not represent actual events.

Anyhow, on that note, Maxwell's Silver Hammer is a great song that Jeb Bush should use as his presidential campaign theme. Either that or 'I'm A Redneck Monkey-boy From A Place Where Nobody Could Touch Me In Compromising Places Because My Daddy Is George Bush Snr And So Is My Brother, So There'. Cause that's a cool song too.







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