The Cat's on the table with the silver spoon
Mood:  special
Now Playing: Many and varied tunes in WinAmp. Right now it's The Allman Brothers Band- You Don't Love Me (Live- Fillmore East, New York 1971)
Have you ever ad a cat? They really think that they are masters of their domain don't they? Meet Luna.

Look at that face. That is the face of a creature that is inherently stupid but completely in control of her feelings of superiority. She's over two years old now and the mother of thirteen or so kittens. She doesn't remember them but that isn't surprising, she has to be reminded that she doesn't sleep on our bed most nights. Anyway, she's a great cat and you can all feel better for having met her.

On to the real point I wanted to make this evening. Aliens!!!

ALIENS!!! I said.

I have discovered where they are being held captive by the sick inhabitants of this world. Yes, I mean us (unless you are of extra-terrestrial origin).

You know traffic lights? Then you must also know the little green men that appear when it is safe to walk. Well, that's them. The aliens! Trapped in a tiny little box attached to an unappealing pole. "How does that work?", I hear you say. Well, I'm glad you did because I'm about to tell you.

How long have traffic lights been around?

There are many luminous figures associated with the invention of the 'humble' traffic light. J.P. Knight, Lester Wire, James Hoge, William Potts, Dr, John F. Harris and Garrett Morgan to mention just a few. The dates for these inventions range from 1868 to 1920. Of course, traffic lights were not installed in significant numbers until the post-war 40's altough they were quite common at major city intersections. Now, what increased significantly, almost parellel to the installation of traffic lights? Yes, UFO sightings. There are very real reasons behind the immense amount of sightings and it's relative ration to that of the number of UFO's positively identified and made public.

Why aren't there that many songs about rainbows, and what's on the other side?
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: Scorpions, W.A.S.P., Great White, Rainbow, Whitesnake, Dokken, Impelliterri, Skid Row et al.
Hello there, I am still alive.

Sometimes I feel a little less sentient. Right now, I am still alive.

It's a funny thing...LIFE.
One day it's there, the next thing you know, it's gone. Snuffed out by the eternal snuffing power of something called Death.

It's a funny thing...DEATH.
One day it's nowhere to be seen. The next, it's enveloped you with its eteranl snuffing power.

It's a funny thing...SNUFFING POWER.
One day...oh, bugger it. I can only become less coherent from here on out.

Good night.

Sanity is only for those too stupid to know better
Mood:  chatty
Now Playing: My 50 hour long Jazz playlist in WinAmp
I hav stumbled upon a new theory of mine regarding George W Bush and his cronies. I have mentioned on at least one occasion that I believe in the possibility of the existence of alien life forms. That they have paid us regular visits throughout our history is up for debate obviously. If indeed they have visited our humble little world, this is my theory regarding their relationship with George Walker (I think that 'l' should be an 'n') Bush.

HE WAS ABDUCTED!!!!!

At some time in his life, GWB has bad a close encounter of the fourth kind. They performed a multitude of violating experiments upon him. During the course of these experiments something, possibly made of cork, was left inserted in a certain part of his anatomy. I'm not saying that this is where the expression "Man, he's got a cork up his butt" originated (that's another story). But, just think! This theory would explain so many anomalies about GWB. Maybe, just maybe, it was left in there in the mad rush to get him off the ship and back to where he belonged. Understandable really. Also, he may have done the Earth a great service. After abducting a human of superior intellect (our dear GWB) they would most certainly put all plans of an invasion on an indefinite hold. Well, he has to have done something right so forgive me for grabbing madly in the darkness to try and find an example. Anyway, that's my theory, which is to say that it the theory that is MINE.

I have another theory you know.

There are pandas in China. Not just ordinary pandas. MARAUDING PANDAS!!! They're really quite scary, terrorising entire villages and running off with nuts and berries. I believe that there is a cover up at the highest level of Chinese government. This is for several reasons:
1. -Tourism- Who's going to want to go to a place where at any moment they could be beaten up/eaten by a savage panda. A panda gone wild you might say!
2. -What zoo is going to request that a panda be displayed within their walls when at any minute it could start marauding.
3. -Popular opinion would change overnight. Pandas will be seen as bloodthirsty and mean OMNIVORES, instead of the relatively peaceful herbivores that we all believe them to be.
4. -The sale of soft panda toys (mostly made IN China) would come to an abrupt end. I know no parent that would by their child a soft toy based on a savage man-eating, malicious creature (except dinosaurs, sharks, crocodiles, tigers, lions, grizzly and polar bears and koalas).
5. -All video footage of pandas that has come from China would be reviewed to see if we in the West had missed anything. This would create an unheard of distrust of China in Western government, media and society at large. This is the last thing they want at the moment as who is going to believe them when they say they would love to give Tibet it's independence.
6. - Most importantly- they don't want me to be right!!! And that hurts to my very core.

So, I hereby call upon governments of the world to send a team of inspectors into China to validate my claims and find the marauding pandas. I believe it will be even more successful than the hunt for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. i am preparing to create a set of playing cards depicting the most dangerous of all the pandas. There will only be 52 cards as within the ranks of the Chinese marauding pandas, there are no jokers!

Incidents of marauding pandas are not isolated and they appear to be happening on a much more calculated scale. It is only a matter of time before the pandas find themselves crossing the borders into Nepal, Mongolia and Russia. Pandas know not of borders and peace treaties they maraud with reckless abandon. They are devilishly clever and hold grudges against all that is human. Has anyone seen Terry Gilliam's fim "12 Monkeys"? That's nothing. If it were "12 Panda's" there would be nobody in our future to return to our time and investigate what went wrong. It would be total annihilation.

Well, goodnight, sleep well and don't let the pandas bite.

When it's time for the cows to come home, you'd better hope there's room.
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Frank Zappa- Waka/Jawaka
Far to many people don't believe that Atlantis existed at all. Why is that?
Millions say that even if we aren't alone in the universe, we certainly haven't been contacted or probed. Why is that?
Billions believe in a god or gods. Why is that?
Millions, against all better judgement, voted for George W. Bush. Why is that?
Of those millions that voted for G.W.B., at least some of them actually voted for George W. Bush. Hmmmm!?!

There are of course, many examples of evidence that could support the existence of "Atlantis". Ancient documents and artifacts providing evidence that there may have been such a place at sometime in Earth's history.
A growing number of people are reporting sightings of UFO's and cases of abductions. Not all of them can be described as either pea-brained fools or attention seekers.
Gods, or indeed, one god...that's personal preference really. You've got to figure that one out on an individual basis.
Many voters in the last two US elections can be vindicated by saying that their vote was one of those tampered with. They can regain some semblance of intelligence and respectability from that.
Those whose votes were counted correctly (especially in 2004) have no leg to stand on, so to speak. They will take the guilt of such stupidity to their graves. Imagine having the chance to oust the Great Oaf and arriving ant the polling station and without hesitation doing your part to reinstate the Laughing Stock of International Politics. How does that work? What are the thought processes behind that?

"Dum de dum de dum, here I am, should I vote for George again? Well, he's done so well of late. Them Iraqis had it coming. His dad's a jolly old chap too. I think I voted for him too. Yes, I did. Well, keep it in the family, nothing like patriarchal nepotism to ensure the proper running of this country."

Wow, just from writing that I feel like less of human being and more of a lemming (or guinea pig).

George W. Bush's most intrusive foreign policy is to ensure that the entire world consists of democratic nations within a matter of years. Well, if the "Greatest Democracy in The World" can place him in their most powerful position, imagine what a world full of democracy would be like.

Welcome to the world of
GEORGE W. BUSH
and his
DANCING FERRETS>

Can you imagine that side show. George W. and his Dancing Ferrets (Tony Blair and John Howard).
Does anyone find it odd that all three of them have been "democratically" voted in for a second term of office.
It has been said that in a time of crisis a nation will re-elect whoever is currently in power. Fair enough, the attacks on the World Trade Centres were a immense tragedy. Millions were affected by losing someone they knew; friends and family. Regardless of that however, something little switch in the brain should say "No, no, not G.W. How 'bout the other guy, any other guy". I guess it's a case of 'better the devil you know'. In this case I think that the Devil himself would make a better president.

I seem to have wandered a bit off the subject I was going to write about. It doesn't matter, no one reads my little weblog anyway :( Not that I mind really.

If there is anyone out there that really voted for George W. Bush, I have a few questions...

Did you do it intentionally, or did it just happen?
Being in a country where voting is a personal choice, why did you not stay at home that particular day?
Do you feel remorse?
Do you still support G.W.?
If no, good for you!!! You need answer no more questions.

If yes, why?
If he were able to stand for a third term, would you vote for him again?
Millions around the world can take comfort in knowing that their dictator was not popularly elected so no citizens can be held accountable (Idi Amin and Pol Pot for example). Would you have voted for them too?
Individuals are generally intelligent. Collectively they can be quite stupid. Are you stupid?
What can be said about a man that needs to have election result "adjusted" in his favour? Shouldn't he, as a political leader, be brimming with self-confidence, assertiveness and a lack of self-interest?
What will his greatest legacy be? Remember a presidents legacy also reflects on those who voted for him!
Will he be remembered with the same respect as Lincoln? Or is it an insult to Lincoln's memory to be mentioned in the same sentence?

That's all for now. I shall go to sleep tonight knowing that I have made a difference in no way at all. That, to me, is as satisfying as illegally invading a country that has limited means to defend itself.

Goodnight.

Granny Smith- Inventor of green apples!
Now Playing: Enam- m'Ancelii
Topic: Granny Smith
This is true you know. She didn't invent them per se. She discovered an apple tree growing on the edge of her orchard, dug it up, an cared for it. Eventually, it started producing green apples which she found were absolutely perfect for her apple pies. From then on, she cultivated green apples in a section of her orchard and people came from all about to taste her pies and these new apples. So the legend goes. Now, Granny Smith apples are her legacy and her namesake.

Believe it, or not.

Dreams of furry angels
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: The Planets (Gustav Holst)- Royal Scottish National Orchestra
"Imagine all the people, living life in peace
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one"
(Lennon, John) not;
(Lenin, Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov)

I had a dream once. I dreamt that one day all people of the earth would live in an harmonious utopia. I don't think this will occur in my lifetime and the way things are now it may not happen in the time of my great-great grandchildren.

You may think this to be a rather negative belief but I think it is the belief of most of the world. Not the hope, but the belief. Most of us tend to gravitate towards being realists and cannot picture a civilised world without war, famine and plague.

This is a list of some of my favourite books/movies:

- Brave New World
- Brave New World Revisited
- Brazil
- Metropolis
- 12 Monkeys
- Dark City
- Logan's Run
- The Matrix
- 1984
- Daybreak
- Watership Down
- Things To Come
- The Time Machine

Do you see a recurring theme?
All tales of dystopia and/or utopian dreams.

The reason I thought of all of this now is due a simple walk I took earlier this evening.

Upon the return walk from the nearby 7/11 convenience store/petrol station, I looked at a solitary house. Solitary because although it is surrounded by buildings it stands completely alone, almost out of fear. It's yard is fully fenced and although it stands within two metres of the actual structure of the house, each and every window is barred. I thought to myself "If walls, doors, fences and locks are to keep people in rather than keep people out, then the people inside that home must be downright evil. Either that or paranoid". Then I started thinking about what it would take to create a complete utopian society. Here are some points I came up with:

1- People would need to learn to trust other people. I don't mean the lackadaisical and incredulous trust we give everyday to others. I am talking about the absolute, unwavering trust that child gives his/her parents.

Actually, that's about it. TRUST.

With absolute trust in others of our species, we could overcome all our differences.

With trust there would be no need for anyone to close themselves off behind ridiculous security systems and unsightly fences.

Was it Jesus, Buddha or Mohammed who said, "Love others as you love yourself" and "Do unto others as you would have done unto you". It doesn't matter one iota who said these words, it does matter that both sayings stem directly from trust. Trusting ourselves. There is the key ladies and gentlemen, trusting ourselves. Only then we can say "Trust others as you trust yourself" and "Trust others as you yourself should be trusted". Love is all very well and good but without trust it can barely register a warm fuzzy feeling.

We do display a certain amount of trust in our day to day lives of course. We trust the bus driver to follow safe driving procedure. We trust that the bank teller has entered the account number correctly. We trust that when our children tell us they have eaten ALL their lunch, that they have in fact eaten ALL of it. We try and trust that our political leaders are doing at least a half-arsed job of running things. We trust that nobody has a reason for detonating a nuclear device too close to our home. We assume the trust that local law enforcement is there to protect us from those we can't trust. Sometimes, trust is broken and can take time to heal. It happens in our world today and no one is free from that occurence. Wouldn't it be nice.

Wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a world where there was mutual trust between all people and all nations. I speak of positive trust, not negative.

When George W. Bush was first up for election, I recall sitting on a lounge at my then girlfriends' grandparents house watching the Fox coverage of the Republican and Democratic parties' love-fest rally. I told her what I thought would happen if George Wanker Bush got elected. It wasn't good. I knew then, as did millions more around the world, that he would be just like daddy. A war-mongering psychopath. Turns out we were right, but it doesn't feel good in a trivia-night-winning "I was right, I was right" sort of way. It really bites because I wish I had been wrong. But, I trusted that G.W.B would lead the US in the way he has i.e. in a dystopian spiral towards tyranny. In Bush I trusted, and he has certainly delivered well beyond my expectations. I had hoped to be wrong but I have been justified in what I said that night and on many other occasions.Negative trust is detrimental and does no one any favours, but it is quite unavoidable when we look around at the world today.

Trust is broken, betrayed, shattered and denied on a daily basis in all corners of the globe but I consider it to be the strongest instigator towards a better world.

If we can trust ourselves, the rest will follow.

Things I've Forgotten..........
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Armchair Theatre- Jeff Lynne
This could be quite an impressive list. The only problem being that I cannot recall what I have forgotten. This being the case, I must make this a very brief entry.

I am very disturbed!!!
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Rick Wakeman- still
I just posted my last entry and when I loaded my blog to check for errors, I scrolled to the bottom of the page.

"What did you see?" I hear you ask.

I saw the faces of Bill Clinton and George Bush Sr staring back at me from my computer screen. Now, they may have been promoting Tsunami relief donations but I do not want to see their faces without being prepared. Maybe Angelfire could place a warning halfway down the page:

"Warning: Images below may disturb some viewers"

Well I am disurbed damn it. If they are still there when you're reading this then I am even more disturbed that you may be disturbed. What's going on with the world when this sort of thing can happen. I'm sure I don't show up on there computers. It's just nasty, nasty, nasty. I guess at least they're not speaking and at least it's Bill and George and not George and his idiot bastard son!

I Woke Up This Morning, Recently Deceased
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Rick Wakeman
It's been a few days and I bet you've all been wondering, "Where is he? What could have happened?"

Well, aside from sarcasm not coming across too well via the written word, I'm fine.

I realise that I have said very little about myself and whilst I am a reasonably private person, I shall endeavour to provide some insight into me.

I'm short, have two beautiful little girls, an unbelievably wonderful girlfriend (for want of a better term) one cat, seven kittens, a music collection that I am very proud of, a mother, a father, some very good friends, incredibly mesmerising eyes (apparently), a weird sense of humour (if indeed it exists at all), a box of smurfs and a ridiculous amount of books.

Well, that's me in a nutshell. I could go on forever about music but I feel that...

Bugger it. I like music, it is the most important non-organic thing in my life. A brief rundown on my favourite music would look like this (in no particular order);

Deep Purple; Judas Priest; Manic Street Preachers; Blackmore's Night; Enigma; My Dying Bride; The Beatles; Sugar; Rainbow; Phish; The Grateful Dead; Cake; Barenaked Ladies; Procol Harum; Benny Goodman; Pink Floyd; Scorpions; Count Basie; Duke Ellington; Louis Armstrong; Wynton Marsalis; Miles Davis; Yes; Rick Wakeman; Frank Zappa; Moe; The Decemberists; John Butler Trio; Incubus; Trey Anastasio; Widespread Panic; Ian GIllan Band; Seven Mary Three; Our Lady Peace; The Tragically Hip; Morphine; Iron Maiden; White Lion; Def Leppard; Europe; Jefferson Airplane; Jethro Tull; Ben Fold's Five; Gene Krupa; Tripod; Monty Python; Oscar Peterson; Sick Puppies; Queensryche; Blue Oyster Cult; Mudvayne; Soul Asylum; Rush; Nelson; The Moody Blues; The Byrds; Filter; Reel Big Fish; Yngwie Malmsteen; Jon Lord; Levitation; Kula Shaker; Fear Factory; Guns N' Roses; Meatloaf; Django Reinhardt; Ry Cooder; Dire Straits; Echo And The Bunnymen; Inspiral Carpets; Great White; Oblivia; Crash Test Dummies; Toto; The Cure; W.A.S.P.; Catatonia; Pennywise; Elvis Costello; Sam Brown; Eagles; Alice Cooper; John McLaughlin; The Mighty Mighty Bosstones; Vulgar Unicorn; Foo Fighters; etc

There's probably some I missed but that is enough for now. Note also that I did not mention any classical/baroque composers, this is an howling error on my part and will be rectified thusly;

Wagner; Bach; Pachelbel; Scriabin; Grieg; Tartini; Paganini; Holst; Rachmaninov; Scarlatti; Monteverdi; Tallis; Palestrina; Beethoven; Mozart; Tchaikovsky.

Well, there you have it, the main of my listening habits. It's not all that I listen to of course but it is what is most likely to be in my CD player.

All's well!!!

I've always wanted to have a turret on my house. If I has a castle I would have several, and a keep. Gotta have a keep. And dungeons, lots of dungeons. Dungeons, turrets, walls, knights, dragons, a draw brudge, moat and a keep. That would be very satisfying. Why don't they make them like that anymore? There is actually an ancestral castle in my family but I would be removed from that by several dozen generations. Shame really. I've seen pictures. it's more of a modest fortress than a castle per se but still, cool!
I look at the houses being built today and most of them are bastardisations of the one stock design. Where's the individuality? Where's the charm and the personality?

"A man's home is his castle"

What a crock. Apart from the obvious discrimination, does this mean that 99.99% of the people of Earth who do not own castles, do not have a home? "It'a not meant to be taken literally, it's a metaphor", I hear the 0.01% saying. Don't give me that ridiculous spiel about things not meant to be taken literally! If they weren't intended that way, they should not have been said in the first place. This is literal: "A man's home is his liability. The one material thing that can shatter lives if it is taken away. The most costly venture that most will undertake. An ongoing burden of lawns, fences, appliances, lights, guttering, windows, carpets amd tiles. Don't bother thinking about the endless mortgages". There, that's much more open and honest than the "castle" quote. Also, is it meant to allude to some dream ideal of those who live in castles being happy? HA!! Hmmm, the Stuarts, Tudors and Windsors are, logically then, the happiest families to have existed. Blissful and completely without worry. Thus, it could be said that castles are not exactly happy homes. So, perhaps it should be read that, "A man's castle is his home, and so too is his caravan, house, apartment, duplex, single-room tenement, cardboard box, stable, garage, mansion and log cabin". You make the most of what you've got. If it's not a castle, it does not matter. "Castle is where the heart is". Or is that......? Ergh, it is really of no consequence. I'll live just about anywhere and be happy. I just want a castle. Don't you?

Here be Wampires!!!
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Procol Harum
Aren't kebabs one of the greatest things on Earth?

I feel like going for a walk but have quite a lot to do this evening. It's currently 21 degrees Celsius, 94% humidity. Not a bad night really.

Does anyone ever wonder if there might actually be vampires out there in the world. I'm not talking about drunken morons running around pretending to bite people. I mean, actual, physical beings that will turn to dust in full sun. It's a interesting thought.

That there are bloodsucking creatures in this world is a documented fact. They're called corporations, multi-nationals, conglomerates etc. They come in all shapes and sizes- McDonald's, Monsanto, Nike, Haliburton, Microsoft, Shell, BHP, AOL Time Warner etc etc etc. I'm not talking about these either.

I mean fangs and a crypt, a lust for blood and a pathological hatred of cross-shaped things. Why don't vampires like crosses? You'd think Christians would hate them. Oh, let's immortalise the instrument that killed our saviour! Sounds rather daft if you ask me.

Anyway, vampires. They're real. They've got to be. It written somewhere that vampires have walked the Earth. I George W. Bush can win two elections, then I have to believe in vampires. And faeries, and golems, and trolls and the tooth-fairy (don't get me started on Santa Claus!!!). I keep wandering away from the point don't I?

Well, how's this. There is no point, I have nothing in particular to say so I will just write things as they come to me. Sweet, I hear you say, this will be fun. Cut out the sarcasm and read this.....

VAMPIRES ARE REAL!!!!!!!!

Prove it? I can't, but then again, do I really have to.

Did Bush win the last two U.S. elections? Did Hitler really die in that bunker? Did Apollo 11 land on the moon? Are red, blue and yellow really primary colours? Was Beethoven deaf? Does 23 + 15 equal 38 everywhere in the universe? Does pi definately go on for infinity? Why is Celine Dion still performing? Is Yusaf Islam really Cat Stevens, or is he Harry Chapin?

Some things don't need to proven for many people to believe them. Even when things are disproven, some will always go on believing. It's just the way we are.

Take these four statements for example. Think about what you already believe about the topics as you read them.

1. Princess Di was not murdered at the behest of the Queen, Prince Charles and the highest levels of British government.
2. A team of scientists at a Swedish university have discovered that pi ends at the 4,102,322,988th decimal place.
3. President Bush really did win the 2000/2004 elections, regardless of provisional votes and the occaisional errors.
4. Hermann Hesse's newly discovered diaries reveal that Hitler had left Germany for an undisclosed location in June 1943. Further sources placed him in Argentina and a team of investigative reporters found his grave dated 13/11/1989.

Now, what are your impressions of these topics now?

Do you believe beyond a doubt that which you have held to be true, or do you believe these statements? Or are you sitting on the fence, so to speak?

I think all four stories are balderdash (sorry, don't get to use that one too often). That's my opinion, and I may be wrong, but I may be right. So, if for example, I am right on four out of four occasions, I may also be right about vampires. I think I am.

VAMPIRES ARE REAL!!!!!!!

They're as real as fairy bread and garden gnomes. Things that, until the 20th century, were thought to only exist in mythology. It's the same with troll bridges. How many of you have come to a bridge only to find some hairy creature in a booth demanding payment for safe passage across the bridge?

There are many things in this world that we cannot possibly comprehend (tax systems of the world unite). Things that are there just to add a little mystery, surprise and joy into our lives. Sure, some may kill you in surprisingly mysterious ways with much joy, but others still, greet us with love and kindness...and kill us in even more mysteriously surprising ways. That's our little world and I'm happy to be part of it. This world rocks, at least compared to the others I've seen.

So, in conclusion, VAMPIRES ARE REAL!!!!!!

I watch Buffy and Angel. Do not fear though, nowhere on Earth is there such a high concentration of vampire activity as in beautiful Sunnydale. Outside there, we're reasonably safe.

Good night.

Is it Woden's Day Already?
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Blackmore's Night

Seems like it was only Thor's Day yesterday.

Where does time go? January took forever and February flying past at break-neck speed.

I really am not sure why I'm even making an entry today. I'm so damn tired there's nothing on my mind even.

I did watch a documentary on the Christian Coalition last night. God, those people need help!

Religion and politics go together like custard powder and tap water. It's just one big gooey mess that takes years to clean up.

Sure, a religious or more specifically, spiritual, person may bring positivity and ethics into politics, but as an entire system, it opens the door for a new dark ages. Of course, the problem in the Middle East, according to those who make the news, is the mix of Islamic fundamentalists and political motivation. There is no distinct different between these 'terrorists' and Christian fundamentalists. They're both as dangerous as each other. One will shoot, the other will undermine the very freedoms that were initiated when church and state were first seperated.

It is a dangerous road that the U.S. is travelling. There have been similar moves here in Australia, less successful, but nonetheless disturbing.

That's all for now.

LOOKOUT, There are Llamas
Mood:  special
Now Playing: Phish- The Story Of The Ghost
Topic: Llama
This is a Llama.

Llama's are fantastic animals. They have four legs and a head upon a rotating shaft called a 'neck'.

They are much bigger than frogs and don't say 'ribbet' (except when pretending to be a frog).

There is nothing you can say to a llama that it hasn't already heard.

They love mountains. The one pictured above actually hates mountains and moved to Dreamworld, Gold Coast, Australia to be away from them (it's pretty flat around Dreamworld)

Llama's are not related to the blue whale, or any other sea creature.

Llama tastes like chicken.

The Dalai Lama is not actually a llama. He too likes mountains however.

There are llama's still alive today. They are not extinct. That's dodo's.

Llama's may look like someone bred a donkey with a camel but that's just NOT TRUE.

I like llama's.

You should like llama's too.

Always trust a llama.

See ya.

Love-Struck Cowboys And The Epiphany Of Mary-Jane
Mood:  amorous
Now Playing: Cake...I can't move on, I need help!!! This new album rocks!
I will mention at this point that you should not rely on my titles to actually bear any resemblance to the contents of my inane ramblings.

Do you ever get the feeling that there are too many people in this world who are completely miserable with their circumstances. I do. It's really not at all necessary either.

'Some people like to make life, a little tougher than it is' (Yes, it's a Cake song)

For many, myself included, it is difficult at times to move away from bad situations. This doesn't concern me so much, things happen and sometimes not much can be done about them. People die, they lose jobs, they fall down stairs or get injured in tragic boating accidents off Majorca.

My main concern is those people who are so into misery that they conciously perpetuate it for themselves. What's with that? Nothing makes these people happy! Occaisonally you'll find ones who find 'happiness' in some overblown obsession. This can take the form of a favourite actor/musician/group or sport, or even things such as housework and their kids. It's unhealthy. It just uses one thing as a complete focus for their happiness.

What happens when something goes wrong?
The band breaks up.
The kids leave home.
The sportsperson gets banned for drug use.
The actor turns out to be something that they're not (ie just another human being).

This is when the shit hits the fan. Some commit suicide, others- murder. Others sink into depression or addiction and never really know any form of happiness at all.

These things can happen to anyone, but those prone to influencing their own misery for whatever reason, tend to wind up hurting themselves or those around them.

Some people have really bad luck, and things never seem to go well for them, others make that happen. Why?
I don't have the answers, I wish I did because I've known a few people like this.

I've also known people with a lot of problems with depression, I've been there briefly myself from time to time. Many sufferers of depression feel worse when they effect those around them. People who spend their days wallowing in their own pits of despair and self-perpetuated misery tend not to care so much. It's the sympathy vote they go for. Depression and misery are two completly different creatures.

I know that there are some who have no concept of what they are doing, again it is not these people that irritate me so.

It is those people who really do 'make life, a little tougher than it is'. in order to make conversation or gain sympathy.

Well, I don't know where that came from. This may be the only reasonably coherent statement you will ever read on this page, but gosh it was fun, wasn't it?

That actually makes me think of a book I have- 'Depression And Music:- Prelude To A HIstorical Theme' (M.J. van Lieburg, Organon, Netherlands, 1989)

"Music therapy is presently defined as 'a diagnosis-specific method of treatment in psychotherapy which, adjusted to psychopathological requirements, receptively and actively applies the specific communiation medium, music, in order to obtain therapeutic effects in the treatment of neuroses, psychomatic disorders, psychoses and neuropsychiatric illness'. The conclusion that depressive patients in particular would benefit from these new forms of music therapy proves once again that the thought of a 'circulus therapie', of the alternating flourishing and decline of empirically substantiated, but not 'scientifically' explainable methods of treatment, also in the history of therapy for depressive disorders, is an established part of the historical development." (p.74)

After all that I think I have to make the song of the day 'Happy Go Lucky Me' by Paul Evans. Guaranteed to pick anyone up (almost).

Also, why is it that when I put something in a safe place, I often forget where that place is? Instead of putting something on a bookcase or next to the TV, I put away somewhere thinking it will be safe. I guess those things are safe because I can't cause them any harm if I know not where they are. Hmmmmm.

And, the ultimte question of course is-

WHY IS ORANGE?

Bye.

Bats In The Belfry
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Cake..............still!!!!!
Are there?
Bats in the belfry?

I don't know whether to celebrate or have them exterminated. It's like that sometimes, you realise something has happened and you're not really sure if it's a good or a bad thing. I visited a friends blog earlier and clicked the 'Next Blog' only to be confronted by a husband and wife uploading naked photos of themselves. I have no problem with this, it's usually a sign of some self-esteem and should be respected for that. But, on the other hand, where's the need for it? Where is the compulsion to share your bodies with the world? It leads me to wonder-
Why am I posting these messages?
Who's going to read them?
Am I making a relevant contribution to society at large or at all?
Does anyone really care?
If I stopped posting messages, would anybody know?
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
What is the average air-speed velocity of a fully-laden swallow (African Swallow)?

Anyway, here are the answers-
Because I want to.
Possibly nobody, maybe somebody, It doesn't really matter.
Absolutely not.
Ditto.
Hmmm, I would.
Ask a Buddhist, they're really good with that sort of question.
It depends on whether it's carrying a coconut or not.

I think the song for the day is 'Wading In The Velvet Sea'- Phish. If you don't know it then you're not going to have much of a day.
IT'S THE SONG OF THE DAY PEOPLE.

The word for the day is:- Perambulate!!!

And that somehow leads to the question...Why aren't our legs retractable?
Wouldn't that be great?
Squeezing past people in the cinema. Excuse me sir, could you retract your legs so I may pass?
It would be so useful.

I'm going now dear diary. Please don't think me as weird when I say, I love you!

Is there a man in the moon, or is he just cheese?
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Cake still, as per last entry
The moon is definately feminine. That's a scientifically proven fact. No arguing that.

That there is a man in the moon brings forth a barrage of questions, mostly of a Freudian bent.

What is the man doing in the moon? That sounds somewhat deviant if you ask me, especially if he has cheese. Some sort of fromage fetish?

What's he doing there anyway? Eating cheese and being in the moon.

Anyway, what is with band names?
Phish, Cake, Morphine, Insane Clown Posse, Nine Inch Nails, Filter...
I use to come up with band names in high school.
Konstriktor, Triassic Warriors, Close Encounters With The Third World, Julius Furbean And His Happy Parrots, Toad The Wet Sprocket...ooops, that one's not mine.

I should go to bed.
I have one view of sleeping. It's a complete waste of time. Sure, without it we would hallucinate, kill the neighbours and post weird, incoherent messages on the internet, but one third of our lives...gone in darkness.
I want to invent some way of never having to sleep. Ironic, cause I could sure do with some right now.

ONE THIRD OF YOUR LIFE WILL BE SPENT PROSTRATE WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED. (Not including blinking and microsleep)

Such a waste...

Until next time, good night.

Maxwell's Silver Hammer
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: Cake (Pressure Chief/Comfort Eagel/Prolonging The Magic/Fashion Nugget/Motorcade Of Generosity- they've been on all day.
Joan was quizzical
Studies metaphysical
Science in the home
(Lennon/McCartney)

I'm not sure why that just came to me. I was thinking of taking a hammer to this computer- word association, too many boffins for my liking.

I owe this whole idea of creating a blog to a friend of mine, a strange little man, but a friend all the same. We wouldn't get far in life if we didn't allow ourselves to befriend strange little men. There's something very primal about it. Very instinctive. It makes me wonder about the friends of the first person who discovered that cow's milk was tasty.

"Hey, Romulus, suck on this for a while, tell me what you think".
"Sure"
"Well?"
"S'right ain't it Remus?"
"Yes, yes it is my friend"
"Tell me, why did you decide to suck on this part of the cow, Rom?"
"Dunno Remus, it just seemed...right"
"Your a strange little man Romulus...strange"

Music Community

Just thought I'd insert that link as it is my MSN Community where we talk about music, all music, whatever you like. Aaron Copland to Zappa, Appalachian Hula Dancing to Zimbabwean Panpipes, Avant Garde to Zero Regard For Sensitive Ears. Whatever, it's all music and it can all be talked about.

Back to zebra crossings. Regardless of the fact that zebras don't use them, I've never seen a zebra with completely parrallel stripes. Are they a fashion faux pas or are they the next big trend. Parrellel zebra stripes. I'm sure zebra's are just as fashion conscious and you or I, but it seems a little unnatural. I guess we as humans have plastic surgeons to iron out the things we don't like about ourselves. I'm gonna start spray-painting zebra's: it's my duty as a conservation-minded caring person.

If anybody out there ever reads this stuff, please, feel free to let me know.

Do you have kids? Stastically, you possibly do. There's a lot of children out there. I have two myself. Beautiful little girls. Sweet, loving, kind-hearted, rude, demanding. They really are quite different to adults aren't they? Such conversationalists, and not at all bogged down by the trappings of pronunciation, syntax or even tact. I love that.

This situation could happen in a million or more households around the world. All that is required is one father, one 3-4 year old daughter and a green plastic cup.

"Dad, can I have more juice please". Not a bad start.
"Ok, hold on, I'm just finishing these dishes"
"But, Dad, I need to talk to you" At this point I stop doing dishes and turn to face her.
"What sweetie"
"Daaaad"
"Yes"
"You need to get more juice" Thrusting a cup towards my face.
"Ok, just let me finish doing these few things"
"Daaaad" She takes a few steps towards me "I think I need you" I stop again and face her.
"What do you need me for?"
"I need more juice" I've wised up now, I'm going to finish what I said I would and then get her juice. Without looking at her.
"Just a minute honey" A green, plastic cup flashes before me and into a sink where I have been rinsing cooking oil off an oven tray.
"Can you get me some more juice please Daddy?"

How do their minds work? Fascinating.
This of course was a dramatic reconstruction and may not represent actual events.

Anyhow, on that note, Maxwell's Silver Hammer is a great song that Jeb Bush should use as his presidential campaign theme. Either that or 'I'm A Redneck Monkey-boy From A Place Where Nobody Could Touch Me In Compromising Places Because My Daddy Is George Bush Snr And So Is My Brother, So There'. Cause that's a cool song too.







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