Jan 2, 2004
Okay, let me just start off by saying that I date these things for a reason. Sometimes things don't still apply after two weeks or one week, etc. Therefore, don't get all angry and pissy and sad about something I write if you don't even talk to me about it. Hurrah, now that I've said that, onward. The belly ring saga is ending, which is definitely not a sad thing. Grossness to the max that was. School is starting up again on Monday which makes me want to cry or something. I'm really getting a little nervous about this B in everything business, I just don't see it happening. On the other hand, I don't really give a shit because they really didn't give me a fucking warning or any sort of sign that there was something wrong beforehand, so my grades were bad enough that I can't do it. I'm not even worrying about getting a B because I know I won't, I'm worrying more over the fact that it's totally up to Mr. Casey whether he's going to be reasonable and understand that I tried, or if he's going to be an asshole and kick me out anyway. I'm not feeling to confident about it. Oh, there are other schools though. Not that I'm saying I won't mind leaving my friends and such, cause I will. Well, gee, I'm sounding optimistic at the moment. Another topic I shall move onto. My brother is in India right now, and for some odd reason, simply because he's in India as opposed to Seattle, I somehow miss him more. It's odd, but true. He's cool. So yes, I got myself a 190 dollar speeding ticket the other day. Mm hmm. Ouch, yes. I was going 92 in a 65 and knew that it wasn't a good idea. I also slowed down and got into the slow lane because of that knowledge, but the police are evil. They have radars. They don't care about speed changes. Therefore, I pay a fine. Oh well, I shouldn't have been going that fast. Gregor also fixed my car for quite a good price I thought. Oh poo, that reminds me I really have to change my oil lotso. I think I'll go do that. Tootle-oo. Mm k, it's now a billion hours later but I have more thoughts. Along the lines of the who cares anymore? , but not directly my own thoughts, that was sort of inspired by various other people. It does make one think though. I feel annoyed with myself for saying I don't care anymore. I think the problem is that I care too much, and I'm so tired of no one noticing it. Well, not no one noticing it, but people not giving a shit. It really was easier when I used to just push everyone away and refused to feel anything. I just realized tonight how disconnected I feel from a lot of people, like a stranger who everyone acts like their best friend. It's a little hard to explain, but I'm pretty sure that it isn't just me imagining it. I hate the idea of being an obligation to people, and I surely hope that has nothing to do with anything. Oh, I suppose I'm just paranoid and re-adjusting, but I doubt it. I think about the people closest to me, and I wonder who they are. I wonder if I'm really close to anyone. Today was one of those days where I came to the sudden realization I don't know anyone. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know people, but...no I don't. I either know nothing about their past and make assumptions or leave blank spaces, or I'm not connected with them now, and get simple updates at various times when it's convienent to receive them. I think I want to not bother with all this, I want to start over somehow, or go backwards, or something, but I really don't like this. Ooookay, enough of that. So I just felt like writing that. But seriously, I think people need to stop asking who cares and saying they don't care, because they do, and that's why they say it, and that's why they ask it.

Dec 26, 2003
NeooooooooooowkershPOW. And the walls came a tumbling down, to the ground, to get...nevermind I just put Joshua and the Battle of Jericho together with The Ants Go Marching Two By Two. That was fun either way. It was GOING to be used to illustrate how my level of interest in such things as ...everything...has fallen, but um, that didn't work. I feel like I'm trapped in something I can't escape right now, and I don't fucking know what it is. Well, I do, and refuse to admit it cause I don't want to. This is so fricking frustrating. No one wants to just let me be who I am, Erika. I have to be Erika the Student, Erika the Exceller, Erika the Delinquent, Erika the Girlfriend of Ben, Erika the Oddball, Erika the Non-Achiever, Erika the New Girl, Erika the Obligated, Erika the Rebel. I'm so fucking tired of fighting everyone's refusal of letting me just live my life as me. Everytime I change something, someone comes along and jabs another fucking you aren't good enough, or you aren't acceptable enough. Fuck you. Fuck your ideals and morals and ethics and presuppositions about what I believe and what I don't. Fuck obligation and emotion. Fuck everything about me that you like, I love everything you hate. I'm not changing another fucking thing unless I know it's right, and I'm not earning anyone's trust. Believe me if you will, don't believe me if you won't, whatever, I don't give a shit anymore. I don't care about being someone who everyone can trust...obviously that matters very little, especially when you're a trustworthy person anyway. Months of attempting to earn things leaves me feeling so empty. It's so detrimental. Why am I even writing this? It's bullshit, really, most of it. I hate the fact that I finally trusted, thinking, hell, everyone says it's worth it. It isn't. It hurts. Of course the people I trust always turn out to be the ones you shouldn't. Whatever, I give up on it. I wish I could do more about it, but that's where I'll start...by giving up. Goodnight.

Dec 25, 2003
Hold on to your britches folks, cause you're going green with envy today! How many of YOU have ducky keychains that light up red when you squeeze it, quacks, and also has eyes bulge out? Hmm? Didn't think so. I RULE THE DUCKY UNIVERSE! Mwa ha. Well, I shall share my rule with my brother I guess since he gave it to me. Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygost, he made me the most incredibly amusing shirt EVER. It's a panicked banana with a big anime sweatdrop and his hands (yes, the banana has hands) clutching his head. Then the phrase "MONKEYS!!" is written really big underneath it. Ohhh man, that is superior quality shirt making right there. I still laugh whenever I think about it. Hehe. If you don't get that, I'm disappointed in you. Yeah, so it seems that I have a cold, or as I told Vic last night, lately i hath recievethed a tempestuous difficulty upon my sinuses. Oh, I also receivethed unto me the most fabulous cd, thusly named Adore. Uhhhuhuhuh...sweet. It's great great great. Last night I just went outside, laid down on the somewhat soggy earth, watched the stars, and listened to the whole dang thing on my new cd player thinger. It's so amazingly beautiful. So were the stars last night, come to think of it. They were all so bright, and you could see the depth of them, how some were so much farther away. Well, in terms of lightyears and bazillions of miles and such. Yep yep yep. Before I did that I watched Rumble in the Bronx with my brother and Mum. There are some rather amusing parts to that movie! Eek, but also some really painful looking ones, like when, um, nevermind, I don't feel like figuring out how to explain it. Yeah. That reminds me. I watched Boondock Saints (sorry if i spelled that wrong) on Monday night, and that was a stupendous movie, to be sure. I wish that Jen and Ben weren't grounded. That would be a good thing. Well, I suppose Ben isn't technically grounded due to his amazingly confusing theory of not going anywhere anyway. Surprisingly it seems to have worked. For some peculiar reason, I am totally in the mood to consume cold pizza. Good thing we don't have any around. In the words of Vic, "amen in the name of the sinusial toast." Laud, yo, laud.

Dec 24, 2003
Ah, I feel clean again. Our furnace broke, so when I got home at 1 pm today and wanted to take a shower, I found only the potential joyless and frigid experience, and decided against it. Luckily Mr. Furnaceman fixed it, so by 3:00 I have been bathed. Good good. I have a perfectly marvellous explanation for my lack of postage, not that it really matters or anything, but my darling little computer's parts all wiggled loose and therefore wouldn't turn on. Luckily it's been tightened up so that shouldn't be a problem any longer. I really should be out buying Christmas presents right now, or at least my mum's stocking, but alas, I really don't feel like it. I already went to Park City after I left Ben's today and bought Greg and Mum their additional presents, which was already more than I felt like doing. I seriously do NOT like Christmas. It used to be okay, but now I just hate how everything is about money money money. Maybe it's because I work now, but either way, it's still upsetting.

hummer
billy corgan/smashing pumpkins

Faith lies in
The ways of sin
I chased the charmed
But I don't want them anymore

And in their eyes I was alive
A fool's disguise
Take me away from you

Shame my tongue
Fat with promise all along
But when I woke up from that sleep
I was happier than I'd ever been

When you decide
That your life is a prize
Renew and revive
It's alright honey
It's alright, yeah

Happiness will make you wonder
Will I feel OK?
It scares the disenchanted
Far away

Yeah I want something new
But what am I supposed to do about you
Yeah I love you, it's true

Life's a bummer
When you're a hummer
Life's a drag

Ask yourself a question
Anyone but me
I ain't free

Ask yourself a question
Anyone but me
I ain't free

Do you feel
Love is real?


Dec 14, 2003
Q: Que hace un pez?
A: Nada
Sorry, sorry, I really enjoy that joke. There's like, a billion more too, but some must be done in person. The rest I just don't feel like typing. Debbie came over last night, and that was definitely an amusing time. I especially enjoyed the random early morning road trip. We raced the snow and it won, but only because I was tired, damnit! I also managed to get myself covered in matches in my car, which was quite an experience. Heh heh. Yep, so my mom is still sitting in front of the tv knitting scarves. She's watching ice skating, which I think is not so bad to watch. Well, for a couple minutes. After that it can get dull because, ya know, it just does. It's an overdose of tightly clad, sparkle covered, chest baring individuals that like to spin themselves dizzy. That applies to both genders, of course. I would hate to discriminate. It's been awhile since I've updated, so I'm a tad confused about what I should bother to say. Oh, there are pictures of Seattle now, which I can put up on my site despite their atrocious size...perhaps I shall gimpify them first. Oh yeah! So I got a cell phone the other day, finally, so now if I get lost or crash my car again then at least I'll have a means of communication other than those late night rapscallions who are always on the drugses. Nice people sometimes, but not altogether helpful in giving directions. Oh yes, and the "school incident." I'll have you all know that according to my headmaster I'm a paganistic bitch with no potential and no possibility to succeed, as well as being a mistake to enroll and such. Yeah, so in order to prove my true self, (namely that I actually am intelligent and can accomplish something in life) I have to get at least a B in all my classes or he's going to ask me to "withdraw." Asshole. *shakes fist* Oh well, I had it coming. Meh heh heh, I had fun until now. At least I have motivation to do something now, it was lacking before. I was still passing and definitely would've graduated though, but hey, why would he look at my grades before yelling at me for them? That just wouldn't make any sense. Just like combining peanut butter and jelly in the same jar makes no sense. What if you wanted to put just peanut butter on a stick of celery or something? You'd have to be all careful to avoid the jelly and such. Mmm k, going back to bed.

Dec 5, 2003
Well, this snow stuff is kinda maybe not so bad after all. I haven't quite decided. It certainly pissed me off on Friday, but today is Saturday so I won't hold that against it. I got my car back! It cost a whopping $455 dollars, which is cheaper than what they told me but dammmmn that's not money I feel like spending on it. The radiator had sprung a bit of a leak apparently, due to that large and untimely road obstruction. Some pipe or another was bent too, so I guess that had to be replaced. It's too bad, really, but I have my baby back so nothing matters anymore! My car really is fun to drive, I dare say. So I was a little pissed at my work today...I called in and tried to tell them that my mom didn't want to drive cause the roads SUCK, and they were like, we live almost an hour away, your roads are fine cause ours are, just come in. Well, the little fuckers wouldn't listen to reason, so we took the turnpike and I came in. Heh, but I took my freakin' sweet time, and made sure I didn't get there till about twelve. Mwa ha. Actually I mostly shovelled the driveway and filled my mom's tires with air, but still. I hate how they think they're fucking all knowing all the time. They are letting me off work for two weekends in a row, which is cool. Damn it though, I'm gonna be poor. Blast. There is a downside to every up. I took my car for a bit of a spin in the former Mom mall, aka the Home Furnishing Outlet Center tonight after work. That was pretty fun, gosh darn it. I figured I shouldn't get too carried away considering I'm not exactly an experienced driver, so I didn't do any super cool slide manuevers or anything. I'll save that till tomorrow. Ha, I'm going to play in my first indoor soccer game. For real, I'm actually going to play. Heh, only hell's fury can stop me now. Well, actually, that or getting distracted by something that seems more fun, but that is highly unlikely. I hope I don't suck though...I haven't played in a very long time. I'm tired of typing, I'm tired of being awake. I shall rest my weary noggin now. Away I go.

Dec 4, 2003
Glarg.That's about the only way to describe this week so far. I guess it doesn't do a very adequate job at describing it. Bardeedoodaa...(you all should recognize that song by now. I've coined it the, um, Song of the Me-ness...just now.) Ah, here's the odd personal fact you never really needed or probably wanted to know: my ear peircings have all decided to cooperate and heal, except for the one i've had since June, which HAD healed, and suddenly decided to be a crapface yesturday and hurt again. So that's marvellous. I worked tonight on a Thursday for the first time ever, and it was actually much less painful than I thought it would be. I actually enjoyed everything except the thirty evil sugar packet theiving spawnlings of Satan (err, I mean Girl Scouts) under the age of nine that I had to serve. That was a fairly rough experience. Amusing, but difficult. Hum. My brother got stitches in his eyebrow with some random, painful sounding tool. He's hardcore! Life life life. Fuck it, ya know? Some days are just blargen sorts, meant to be deleted and never thought of again. Today was dangerously close to hitting that line. So there's a big rumor about snow goin' around tomorrow, but I'm thinking that no one can be lucky enough to have such a thing actually happen. I dunno, we'll see. I would be happy for no school, but not so pleased with the appearance of "fluffy water." I still don't understand its appeal. Hm, cold, wet, hard sometimes, dirty, and um, cold. What more can I say? Where, let me ask, can you sit after it's snowed? You have about two options, no three. You can A. sit in the snow and get your bum wet B. sit inside where there's protection from the accursed stuff or C. sit under an awning or otherwise protectionary object which has prevented the snow from weaseling its way into all dry spots. Now, I'm all for getting your bum wet in the rain, or sitting inside where it's roasty toasty warm, you'll never hear me complaining about that, but WHY must one be forced to seek shelter under an extension of the roof? That just seems wrong to me. Eating yogurt without mixing the fruity part and the chunk of unmixed yogurt together also seems wrong to me. There, I've said my peice. Piece...damn it, I refuse to look up how to spell that blasted word, so I'll leave it to you to decide whether my indecision has brought me to fault or fruition.

Dec 1, 2003
I went on a posting boycott. I figured if there's nothing good to say, not even a tidbit, then it's probably better not to write anything at all. Yeeahhhh, so lemme think what to write...I'll think happy thoughts. I'll think about poodles, and clouds, yogurt and gummi bears, the alphabet song and fuzzy things. That should do the trick. It's my own personal "favorite things" song, just like in the Sound of Music. Wow, it's been a long time since I've seen that. I would watch it again, but I don't know if I could sit through it. Maybe I'll devote some time to it in the upcoming days, we'll see. This week has been pretty hard, I haven't seen a lot of people, so it's been one of those times where you think a lot and get a chance to wonder what's real and what isn't..friendships and the like, if you know what I mean, which you probably don't. That's alright though, cause I do. There's a pretty cool websitethat has all sorts of exciting information about Smashing Pumpkins up. I know, I know, they broke up four years ago. Shut up though, they didn't in my heart! *sniffle* It has a lot about the origins of songs and such, so it's really interesting. I like listening to the songs after learning about them, it makes it spiffy. Um, but yeah. My fingers are cold and warm at the same time, which is an altogether odd sensation that I don't know if I like. Oh well, not much I can do about it. I suppose I could wear gloves, but I do believe that would impede my typing abilities, and they're already spazmodic as is, so I'll let that go. Letting go is a good thing, I do say. Well, it's not so late, but past the get-off-the-computer imposed deadline my mother hath set, so I'd best be goin' now. I'm out, niggahs.

Nov 27, 2003
Having too much time on your hands is definitely a dangerous thing. I have done NOTHING today. But I like it that way! Hee. It's been a loooooooooong week. But, it's almost over, and that's good. Wait, no it isn't. Now the ridiculous work hours begin. Oh well, ya can't win them all. I got along fairly well with my mom today, which was pretty cool. She's fun when we aren't hatin' on each other, if ya know what I mean. Here's a question for you: What the fuck do rocks have against me?!? I wounded my car again last night, thanks to a baby boulder just chillin' in the road. It bled green, so that wasn't good. Now I must tow it to a garage close to my school and hope it won't cost a bazillion dollars to fix and tow and such. I could kick myself. But that would hurt. And really, it was just an angry fairy's fault anyway. I've established that there is a rock fairy floating around Lancaster County, wreaking havoc and creating misery wherever she flies, and I was just one victim in her plot for world sad-lification. Also, she often comes in the form of large and dirty dumptrucks on their way to the rock place near my house. It's too bad they seem so harmless. Wait a second! This could totally be one of those kickass lawsuits that dumb people win! If only I had picked up that rock! HMMMMmmmm. There are rips in my pants that form a face, kinda grimacing at me. They look sad. Yep yep yep. It's funny how fleeting emotions can be. And how it can be because of another person. My mom is so cute. She's sitting in an armchair knitting a scarf watching some silly love movie. She's funny.

Nov 26, 2003
Well, the fucking awesome days are over. *sigh* Seattle was amazing. It was fun, everyday. I have DEFINITELY had my fill of Thai and Chinese food though. Whoo! The food is really great up there, but enough MSG in anyone's weekend and you can have enough of it. Gracious me, I had a good deal of time to ponder the thoughts of life, what with the bus rides and bus waits, moments of food consumption, etc. I can't say all my thinking was about happy things, because it surely wasn't. I came to many conclusions, though, which I guess couldn't be made from Pennsylvania because I was too involved in everything and kept telling myself, oh whatever, I'll think about it later. Bad idea, folks. Oh, oh, my ear just half popped, there is hope in the hearing realm!! I'm telling you, airplanes fuck with people's heads. Oh, I really liked the airplane ride back home. It was so stinkin' beautiful! The clouds were all poofy-licious, and the ground was...I don't even know how to describe it. It was like the crusty top of a brownie, but ever so much neater. The sunset ended up being really fantastic, as I suppose most things are from 33,000 feet. Gosh, that's a lot of feet. I guess most of you have been on a plane before anyway. I went to to a couple classes at the University of Washington. I attempted to sit in on a Psychology class, cause I'm thinking abut majoring in that, but unfortunately they were taking a test so Emily and I just sorta um, meandered out with all the people leaving from the last class and then wandered around campus for an hour. I didn't mind too much at all. I did go to a Technical Communication class, and I do believe I shall major in that. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's basically learning about how to phrase things REALLY precisely to mean EXACTLY what you want to say. Ya know, stuff like that. Editing and such. I love doing that, strange as you all make think. It also occurred to me that while I was in my "i'll-never-make-it-to-college" phase, I forgot about all the fancy shit I did at The Family School. Being a residental assistant, dorm leader, editor of two newspapers, twelve well-rounded electives, etc. should help me, although I don't think that will necessarily get me in. Gracious me, I have a lot of things to do today. I was intending on not sitting down at my computer, or just being here a couple minutes, but I get distracted easily so here I am. I like being home. I also like grape jelly.

Nov 22, 2003
Today is Seattle Day Number Three. It's been rather enjoyable so far, to be sure. I got off the plane on Thurday and couldn't hear a fucking thing really, thanks to a lack of ear poppage when I got off. But whatever, when I went to sleep that went away. Let's see, hm. I don't really remember doing anything that night, except for being at Brandon's apartment. Oh yeah, we went and bought food since we didn't have much, and then I went with Brandon to return the car he rented. Dude, Seattle is awesome. You can rent a car for eight bucks! That's the ultimate is awesome rentage. Anyway, yeah. Yesturday was fun. Emily (Mercer, greg's girlfriend) Greg and I all went frolicking for the morning while Brandon was at class. We went to Pike's Place, which has a bunch of cool little shops in it, and then went to the pier and saw a sea lion emphatically consuming a very large fish. That was exciting. I found a sticker on the railing of a sparkly turtle and took that, so I now have a souvenier. Yeah. I can't spell that word. Then we went and ate at a Chinese resturaunt called China Express or something. One weird thing about Seattle is that NO ONE TALKS. It's weird...the streets are quiet, the resturaunts are quiet, the busses are quiet even. It's peculiar. So then we went to a couple more shops (one was a gargoyle shop, which was cool) and then went to the University of Washington's Undergraduate library to wait for Brandon. I fell asleep while we were there cause we waited an hour and a half. Then we went to Brandon's friend Nathan's house for a dinner party thing. That was amusing for multiple reasons. Yep. So then we came home and watched a movie, but since it was 1 am Seattle time (which means freaking 4 am PA time) I made a valiant attempt at staying awake and failed. So I'll have to watch Finding Nemo again another time. I will be watching Perfect Blue sometime this weekend. I'm thoroughly determined, especially since Brandon owns it and I won't have to pay for it. All right, yo, I'm out. Pickles should not be consumed during moments of extreme duress.

Nov 19, 2003
Today was a second fucking awesome day! Yeah, so there was an hour or two where I felt like crying, but hey, that happens in every person's life, so whatever. School was fine. Oh, it was so cool, before school I was driving by the Antique Shop in Morgantown on 23, and there was this old guy with this huge wide-brimmed hat and pointy beard, and I was like, gee he looks cool. He was old. Then he waved at me! That seriously made my morning. I was pissy before that but afterward was like, doot doo doooo! Yeah, then I hung out with Ben for the rest of the day. He really makes me happy. I just, yeah. Sometimes I'll just be sitting there and break out into a grin or start giggling, not for any particular reason, but just cause I'll be so darn happy. I went to his soccer game and enjoyed myself there, partially because of too much sugar, and partially because fun people were around too. I'm totally super-excited about going to Seattle TOMORROW, cause that'll be really awesome. Super awesomely cool. GOD! I think...it will be fun. It's too bad I can't take Ben with me. But apparently his mom left some random message on my mom's cell phone tonight. That was a little odd to come home to. I didn't get to listen to it either, unfortunately. Yep. Wowwie, I'm tired. It's midnight now, I just got home about twenty minutes ago. The roads were horrible, I was running out of gas, and my stupid windsheild wouldn't de-fog. So yeah, bad conditions led to past-curfew getting homeness. I did my homework, I'm so proud! Soon that will be run-of-the-mill, but not yet. Yeah, so if you ever need to memorize the countries on the continent of Africa, Amanda Alzate and I came up with the ultimate method. I can't decide if I liked all the butt jokes or word games better. I should get to bed since I have to wake up bright and early tomorrow! Ick, before the sun. No prob, Bob, cause it'll be breakfast with Ben. Flying on wings of steel, it's better than perforated edges.

Nov 18, 2003
Today was fucking awesome. I didn't even bother posting yesturday because it sucked so bad that all I would've done was bitch about how fucking tired I am of people, how I want to fucking ignore everyone, and just give up. Luckily for you, though, I spared you that post, and bring you one of good tidings! So for some odd reason I woke up in a good mood, then drove to school in a good mood, got to school on time (that deserves a gasp of appropriate shock), and just was in a darn good mood alllll morning. I even enjoyed gym class. Yeah, so that was a really fun time. Then driver's training class was only an hour so that made me happy, the fact that I didn't smoke any cigarettes til like, after school was good, and just, yeah. It was a marvellous day, but I'm not done my story yet, so hold on to your britches. So then I was going to go get coffee with Ramona, but ended up at the Chameleon instead. It's a long, not funny story, and I don't really feel like explaining it. Then I went to watch Ill Nino with the Ben. That was a smashingly grand show, and I love being with Ben. Yeah, and then I bought some food at Burger King on my way home, just to be spontaneous and whatever, which tasted scrumptious but greasy. It was weird how the cashier guy called me ma'am about two BILLION times in the course of our three minute interaction at the take-out window. It made me feel like I was holding him at gunpoint and about to shoot him if I didn't get freshly fried ...fries... and one piping hot burger. Two days till Seattle! I think I'm going to pop if I get more excited. Well, not really. So I was talking to the friendly Deb-Deb today, and she recommended a Xanga site for me to do, yes, horrible grammar. I told her about this, and she wants me to put her in it. Little does she know...that she is! I like her very much, she's funny, like a cuddly bear. Well, I'm fresh out of ideas now, cause I'm super-tired. Drink Dr. Pepper to increase daily carbonation levels.

Nov 16, 2003
One of these days I'm going to start out with "Today was fucking awesome!" but not today, no not today. I did enjoy a splendid ride on Greg's new lovemuffin, his GXR, and boy oh boy I did like that. That was fucking awesome. It's like riding on air. You have to look down to remember you're on a motorcycle. Well, practically. The riding gear and bug-smeared helmet help to remind you. Heh, small details, no matter. I have no flippin' clue what roads we were on, or where they took us, but geez, it was enjoyable. All your problems go "wooooooft" with that first blast of speed and you just go wheeeeeeeeing down the road, happy as a bumblebee. Hm. That brings up an intersting point. I wonder if bumblebees are really happy, or if they're just being socially pressured into seeming so. It seems to me if you're that plump and fuzzy and cute you would have to be happy, but there are quite a few things that refute that theory. Yeah, so I also watched the Gregor play ...wow, the name just left me..there it is! grand theft auto for PS2 and that was fun too. That looks like an enjoyable game considering it's surprisingly realistic. I certainly like how you can walk up to things like cars and just TAKE them. That's fun. Not to be replicated in actuality, though. Hmm hmm. Yes, and I rented 8 Mile. I almost feel like less of a person, but it wasn't THAT horrible of a movie. I just wish I hadn't had to pay for it. It made memories of Scary Movie 3 MUCH more enjoyable. I knew they must've been making fun of something. Now if I could only watch the first two. Maybe I should watch the movies that they make fun of first though. Yeah, so my mom walks into the movie halfway (which, by the way, she ALWAYS) does, and demands me to explain the, in her words, "redeeming value" of the video. Well, gee, I think she could've at least done that in the beginning, or after the movie. Whatever she can bitch about she does. Oh well. I'll be a good little girl. Yup yup yup. Tortilla chips are triangular yet not conspirical.

Nov 14, 2003
Cars are not as big as they look. I had an interesting day, I suppose. I don't feel like writing it down, so that's all you get as far as that goes. Well, ze mutti is driving me batty, but as Ben says, I should focus on the positive. Since I'm so terribly good at doing that and all...well, I'll give it a try. I talked to Kayla Reisch for a bit today, haven't talked to her since eighth grade except for a super-short conversation the night I tested the squishiness of the mud with my car. Hopefully we'll hang out soon. She's a fun girl to hang out with, I'm sure we'll find all sorts of interesting things to do. I'm looking forward to riding with Gregor in the morning on his superliciously scrumptious bike. That should be grand. I also have an indoor soccer game tomorrow which I need to go to since I haven't gone to one yet. I miss playing soccer. You get such an adrenaline rush, and I love the contact and the challenge of it. I miss being more physically active, surprising as that may be. I like oatmeal, especially with raisins and brown sugar.

Nov 13, 2003
I got butter on my keyboard. Tonight at work was absolute hell...113 people made reservations, I got all the tipsy, had to much wine tables, as well as all the bitchy ones,and the night just didn't end. I felt like crawling under a table and viciously gnawing on someone's leg. Well, not exactly, but I did keep repeatin over and over that I wanted to kill someone. Whatever, that's over. I cleaned out my car (woot woot! Two gold stars for me!) which didn't take long, but what the hey. Yeah, so I'm feeling a bit better now except for frizickin' work, so that's a good thing. I must say that I am positively distraught that my ...mother...decided to object to my plugs. ARGH. So I took them out. I feel like destroying something fragile whenever I think about that, cause it makes me upset. Alright, enough bitching, onto a happy topic. Six days till Seattle! Wooooo! I wish I could take Gwen with me, but I suppose cars don't fit in backpacks too well. That's alright, I shall survive. It'll be nice not paying for gas, that's fo sho. I think I'm definitely too tired to write anything entertaining right now, so I'll just leave it at that. Don't drink anti-freeze, or the results may lead to a perilous end. Re-dun-dant. Rightio.

Nov 12, 2003
Well, well, well. I guess I could write my thoughts, although I'm not sure I should. I spent most of the day thinking, which was productive and necessary, so hurrah for that, and a grand lack of school thanks to a self-induced vacation day led to me being able to do the pondering business. So I was thinking...hold up, lemme figure out how to put this. Ah, I've got it. What the fuck? Yep, that's how staying home today came about. What the fuck. It popped into my head in Geography yesterday and hasn't left since. What the fuck is going on here? How did I get myself where I am today? I suddenly woke up to the fact that I'm the one dealing with my life, and no one else. I decided to stop doing shit just because it's expected to make me happier, and to focus on what matters to me. I can't believe I actually did my homework today...that's a little odd. Anyway, so yeah. I don't really want to get into what else I was what the fucking about because I think I would probably just piss people off, which is altogether unneeded at the moment. I'm starting to feel freaked out again, like everything good in my life is empty and not real...like a game or something, but I don't even know that I'm being played. It feels really awful, but I'm glad I feel this way because I can be on guard, touche! Nah, it's not quite as severe as that sounds, but it's along those lines. Okay, I've already spoken my mind too much and yet don't feel like deleting it. Buh bye, I'm off to ze park.

Nov 11, 2003
No more cat corpse stories, cause today is devoted to one heck of a gal!! Too bad I forget her name. Well, I know it's Michelle. So, as I told Steph, kinda, I deem her the venerable Uberlicious, Fantastic, SuperCool, Awesome Office Lady. Well, right about now, folks, I'd like to let you know about our Stupendous Office-Lady Extraordinaire. Well, not all of you will know her, since not all of you go to Living Word. Well, that's beside the point. So she's awesome. Everytime I walk into school smelling like cigarettes (which is prohibited at my darling little Academy) she gives me mints and tells me I really should probably cut back on that little habit of mine. Tee hee. Tis a scandal in the school office! Yeah, so she also gave me ten bucks to buy gas the other day when I was feeling ill and couldn't get home cause I didn't have enough money. Pretty awesome stuff, yo. I mean, she even has cool hair and nifty glasses. And she lets her daughter dye her hair like something from Josie and the Pussycats, which is respectable, I suppose. Oh yeah, and when I was sick I was super sleepy, so she made me coffee and told me to call her when I got home. How nice is that? So she's my official hero of the day. Hmm...what else to say...that's about it. That's her superior secratary qualities, all in one tidy nutshell. I guess since I have more space, I might as well use it. Ack, no, I'm going to go to bed instead. Ben's a good fellow, by the way.

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