Jane and Daria enter the house.
Jane : Uh-oh, it's that time of the day again.
Daria : Wanna go to my place?
Jane : Nahh.... pouring a bucket of water over Trent's amp in an attempt to stop him is much more fun.
Daria : But wouldn't that kill him?
Jane : (In a South Park kind of voice) Oh my god! I've killed Trent!
Daria : (Also) You bastard!
They walk into the basement to see the band play.
Trent : Hey Janey, hey Daria.
Jesse : Hi.
Max : Yup.
Nick : Hey.
Jane : Hi.
Daria : Hey guys. How's life?
Jane looks at Daria in surprise; she actually SPOKE UP.
Trent : (Smiling) Oh, the usual, you know, sleeping makes me hungry and eating makes me sleepy; life couldn't be better. And you?
Daria : The same for me. My mother isn't giving a damn, my dad is clueless as usual and my SISTER (said in the same way as Trent referred to Quinn in "Gifted") is dating like wildfire, so other then that, all is going well. Anyway, I wrote some poems that you can use. (Hands them over.)
Trent : (Reading out loud) "My dear I've been so lonely, we've been so long apart. My love is really burning, consuming up my heart. Although we're merely nerds at day, we're creatures of the night. Now let me set the beast loose on you before your face white. Let your hands climb my mountains and your mouth explore my seas, let us live for the moment for our love can never be. Although we're merely people who's lives run along like skates, now let me please hold you tight before your image evaporates. Let us come together, do what we really want. A union of our sexes, joining two in one. Although we're merely boy and girl crafted out of DNA codes, now let us join together before your image explodes. Allas, the truth that I do not want to see stings like a heart attack and vine, because I know when you touch me you never will be mine. Although you're merely an image that makes me feel this way, now let us kiss just one last time before I wake up to the next day." This is hot stuff, Daria.
Jane : That's an understatement, Trent; this is more revealing then seeing Brittany naked in the P.E. showers.
Jesse: Don't start about her, the artificial breast bimbo.
Jane : You know her?
Jesse : We went out to the Zen together a while back; her hair was leaving a big trail of black stains on the floor and she kept calling me "Jerry" or "Terry".
Daria and Jane smirk at each other about that.
Daria : (getting back to the poem) I hope you can do something with my poem.
Trent : I'm sure we can. What is it called?
Daria : "Dreams".
Trent : It isn't usual for us to sing about...errrrrr...stuff like that, but we can always try.
Max : Yeah, eroticism is better then hardcore.
Jane : Well, I guess we'll leave you to it. Come on, Daria, let's have pizza.

But as soon as they left the basement Jane's mood changes in to one of concern.
Jane : Daria, what's wrong?
Daria : Huh?
Jane : You don't fool me, Daria, you opened up a conversation with Trent, joked with him and gave him a poem that you could have written while masturbating. There has to be something really serious bugging you in order to make you act so.....so....chipper.
Daria's face suddenly breaks.
Daria : Quinn finally got my Mom to send me to a beauty farm for a month in order to "make me change my attitude towards my looks". This, I fear, will be the end of the Daria Morgendorffer you know and love.
Jane : Hey, it can't be that bad; after you've finished you can dump all that crap and be yourself again.
Daria : That's what I thought too, but it gets worse. I learned today that Mom will be hiring a professional indoor architect to redecorate my room and she'll get rid of my clothes too. And to top if all off, she is filing charges against you and Trent for being a "bad influence" on me. The police will follow me around to make sure that I don't hang around you.
Jane : (No sarcasm at all) Oh. Bummer.
Trent, who walked up the stairs to get some drinks, has heard the conversation and decides to come undone.
Trent : Daria, I.....I could never imagine...all those lines in your poem.
Daria : (a stream of tears now coming from her eyes) They were all sincere, Trent; misery chicks have lust feelings too.
Trent : I know. In fact, I knew that from the day we were on our way to Alternapalooza. You were so shy and you tried to avoid contact with me but your body language spoke otherwise. I knew that you had a crush on me even before you told me. (in "Jane's Addiction") And I saw you grow from that moment on; I'm not as oblivious as I seem to be. And Daria, what I didn't tell you that day is.....that I feel the same way, too. You are so different from any other girl I met. I don't care how you look; you are beautiful as you are. I once saw you asleep in Janey's room and you looked so cute that I had to control myself not to go in there and kiss you.
Daria : Oh Trent,.....
Daria embraces him and they kiss.
Jane : (Silently but satisfied) Finally.
Trent's bandmates walk up the stairs to see what's keeping him so long. Jesse sees Trent and Daria kissing and stops them.
Jesse : Hold it, guys, I don't think Trent wants to be disturbed right now.
Nick and Max nod in understanding.
When Trent re-enters the basement, the band is already waiting for him.
Max : You all right, Trent?
Trent : (while picking up his guitar) No.
And he does a perfect Pete Townshend imitation by driving it through a wall and smashing it completely until nothing remains of it, the rest of the band looks at him in amazement.
Jesse : Hey man, settle down!
Trent : It takes a lot to drive me to rage and this is one of those things! (Calming down again) Man, that felt good.

The very next day, Helen is driving Daria to the beauty farm.
Helen : Isn't it exciting? Now you will become the real you.
Daria : No, this isn't exciting, Mom. When will you understand that the "real me" is sitting next to you and is currently resenting the way her parents and sister betrayed her?
Helen : Come on, Daria; it's for your own good.
Daria : Let me give you some food for thought, Mom. Is giving your own daughter a makeover against her will good? Where did you hide your feelings; the feelings that you showed when you took on Ms Li when she did the same thing to the poster Jane and I made? (In "Arts N' Crass") I think of this whole thing as another hypocritical attempt to turn me into another Quinn. Where are your morals? Have five years of being a flower child drained all the love out of you?
Helen maintains a poker face, but only just.
Helen : Daria, you'll do this and that's the end of this discussion.
They've reached their destination and Daria bails out. She walks towards the entrance but doesn't turn around.
Helen : (regretfully) Daria, I...
Daria doesn't turn around, but gives Helen the peace sign before entering.

"The Real Me" by the Who starts playing as she enters. The song keeps playing as we see the next couple of days in a rush. Daria meets the people who will handle her; they take her measurements, take pictures of her, including nude pictures, and then we see her showering while they make a receipt. As she emerges from the shower, she notices that her clothes are gone. They tell her that she'll get "better clothes".

After a week, Daria decides to call her family.
Quinn : Hello?
Daria : HI SIS, it's the lab animal speaking.
Quinn : Daria, how are you? Oh, I bet that you'll really be looking cute when you're ready.
Daria : Quinn, tell me one thing: how is my room?
Quinn : Its looking great; all that horrible padding is gone and the walls are painted violet and pink and I bought you new clothes. They would really suit you.
Daria lets out a groan before hanging up.
Quinn : Daria, you still there?

Daria : The next time that the fashion mob goes shopping to get clothes to reveal "the real me," I'll ask them to buy a shotgun so I can kill her.
Suddenly a familiar voice calls out for Daria.
Dr Sharr : Well, I guess that I got through to you after all.
Daria : What do you mean?
Dr Sharr : I saw your pictures. You have a very good figure.
Daria starts to stare with a hostile look at Jenny, the photographer.
Jenny : Hey, it's part of the deal.
Daria : But what is a plastic surgeon doing here?
Dr Sharr : They contacted me in order to get your breasts enlarged.
Daria : WHAT?!
Jenny : Hey, it's part of the deal.
Dr Sharr : Furthermore, I also told them to change your hair color and maybe to fix your eyes. Think of it, sweetie, you'll never have to wear glasses again.
Daria : NO WAY!
Jenny : Hey, it's part of the deal.
Suddenly a pair of big men grab Daria and Dr Sharr takes out a numbing mask and numbs her.
Daria : (trying to stay awake) You....... won't......... get........... away............ with.......... this...........
They lay her down and rush her into an operating room, while Dr Sharr changes into her medical attire.

A few hours later Daria awakes in agony. Her chest is all bandaged up.
Dr Sharr : Hold on, your body needs to get used to the implants.
Daria : (Weakly) I....hope....they...will....be.....rejected...
Dr Sharr : (Trying to cheer Daria up) Think of all the boys you can seduce. They'll love you.
Daria : You wanna talk about love? Then listen to this. I have someone in my life who doesn't care how I look. He loves me for who I am and respects me as I am. Why does everything I had change into something that I do not want? I was happy being a misery chick, and I don't want to be popular; it just isn't me.
Dr Sharr : Well, you'd better get used to it. Tomorrow the fashion design bureau will be coming by. I guess you already know Claude and Romonika from Amazon Models?
Daria : Those two? Oh no.
Dr Sharr : They are the ones behind all this and they gave me the green light to your surgery.
Daria : Just wait until I feel better. I feel the urge to perform a surgery myself.
Dr Sharr : See, you're already starting to lose your closed persona.
Daria : Yeah, and I will really enjoy giving this place a makeover.

Meanwhile at the Lane household....
The phone is ringing and Jane picks it up.
Jane : Yo.
Helen : Jane, this is Helen Morgendorffer, Daria's mother. I wanted to say that I'm sorry about how I behaved and I've retreated the files against you and Trent.
Jane : (Angry) Why did you file them in the first place? We'd stayed with you, Mrs Morgendorffer, and Daria loves us and the way she was. Why did it all had to change?
Helen : You don't know what it's like to have a manipulative daughter like Quinn.
Jane : Bullcrap. It wasn't just about Quinn; Daria told me about your plans to get rid of her old room and her old clothes.
Helen : (Sighing) Yes, that's true. The last time I spoke her, she talked about resentment and betrayal. She toughed a sensitive string there. Oh god, what kind of a mother am I?
Jane : If you have the guts to face Daria after this "makeover" is done and to say you're sorry, she just might forgive you. (She slams down the phone, but it starts ringing again) Yes?
Daria: Hi Jane, this is the holocaust victim speaking.
Jane: Daria, what a surprise. I just spoke your mother who told me she was sorry.
Daria: Easy for her to say, she isn't the one who just got her breasts enlarged.
Jane: WHAT?
Daria: (Outraged) I now have the bra size of Brittany! I will never be the same again.
Jane: Why don't you just call them and tell them about it?
Daria: Oooh noo, they wanted me to do this in the first place and now they have to face the result of their actions.
Jane : So, you're getting through all this just to take revenge on your family.
Daria : This won't be another victory for the merciless; they've won to many times.
Jane : I'm with you, amiga. Trent and I will pick you up after you've completed this task.
Daria : No, I don't want Trent to see me like this.
Jane : But think about this, Daria, how would the fashion professors feel if they saw you getting the Tank?
Daria : (Smirks) If you see it that way.....
Jane : Trent wants to see you more then anything. He wants to see on what charges he can sue them.
Daria : Just tell them that I love him. Oh yeah, and call Jodie. I want her to do something for me.

Two days later, Daria's hair has been dyed to a bright fire glow.
Daria : Romonika, I have a question?
Romonika : Go ahead, sweetie.
Daria : Did you have to go through all of this before you got into the fashion business?
Romonika : No, they said I was perfect.
Daria : Then why do I have to go through all this? I can't imagine that my mother would really let you do all this to me.
Romonika : It wasn't just your mother. Your cousin sent us a letter in which she gave us some advice for your makeover.
Daria : Thank you. Now I know who to kill when all of this is done.
Romonika : You don't seem too happy about this. Why?
Daria : I'll tell you why. I'm the kind of girl who wants to be left alone. I don't want popularity.
Romonika : (suddenly without her French accent) I know, I know that all too well. I once was just like you, until my mother, who was a very vain woman, took me to a model school and changed me into the person I am now. I only stayed there to show her that I could be the kind of person she wanted me to be, but I am deeply unhappy about my life as it is.
Daria : Then how could you give so many girls the same fate as you had?
Romonika : None of them spoke up. You are the first.
Daria : Tell me the truth; did I really needed a "boob-job"? They hurt and I can't sleep on my stomach anymore.
Romonika : That one was Quinn's idea. She said that it would change your attitude.
Daria : Well it has. It showed me more clearly than ever how good my old attitude was. How do you keep sane in such a harsh environment?
Romonika sighs and rolls up one of her sleeves to show Daria a whole lot of injection marks.
Romonika : (Quoting Neil Young) I've seen the needle and the damage done. It's already too late for me, Daria; I'm injecting myself four times a day; I'm a junk. But it's not too late for you. I can call the makeover complete so you won't have to suffer any longer, and I can even give you the number of a real plastic surgeon to have your implants removed.
Daria : Why are you doing this? Isn't this the way you make money?
Romonika : Dr Sharr was rated "worst plastic surgeon" in a medical magazine and I felt sorry for all those girls she treated, so to compensate for their suffering, I gave them the number of one of the best surgeons to undo the damage she's done.
Daria : (Smirking her Mona Lisa smile) Thank you, Romonika. If there's ever something you need from me, don't hesitate to say so.
Claude enters.
Claude : (to Romonika) Ah, there you are, we need you in the office.
Romonika : (French again) I'll be right there Claude. Daria and I have been talking and we decided that the makeover is complete. (Winks at Daria.) Tell Dr Sharr that the eye treatment isn't needed anymore.

The next day, Daria has called the Lanes to get her from the farm.
Trent : Well, here we are. I hope we can recognize her after all she's been through.
Jane : She'll recognize us; we've haven't changed much.
A young redheaded woman wearing hip hugger jeans, small glasses and a purple tank top walks up to them.
Daria : Thank God you're here.
Trent : Daria, is that really you?
Daria runs straight into his arms and cries.
Jane : My God, what have they done to you? I'm going to kill them!
Daria : (Smiling) Don't worry, it will take care of itself. (Looks at a window and sees Romonika smirking a Mona Lisa smile at her) Now let's get out of here.
Jane : Sure thing, amiga. Where to?
Daria : First of all to the mall. I've got some purchases to make; second stop my place; I want them to see what they did to me.

The Morgendorffer residence later that day; the doorbell is ringing. The Morgendorffers themselves are having dinner.
Quinn : That's probably my date.
Helen : Tell him that's he's too early.
But a surprise awaits Quinn when she opens the door. A young woman stands in front of the door that could be Quinn's mirror image, but a sore expression in her eyes betrays her true identity.
Quinn : Mom, Dad, you've got to see this.
Helen and Jake enter and stare at Daria in amazement.
Daria : (venomous) Well, do you like what you see?
Quinn : (Cheery) You are so cute.
Helen : See? That wasn't to bad, was it?
Daria : (To Helen) Mom, what did they tell you about the treatment I received?
Helen : They said it would involve basic treatments such as a hair job and a change of clothes.
Daria : (Venomous, Jane and Trent appear to back her up.) So, they told you basic treatments, eh? Well I guess having some strange lady shaving off my pubic hair in order to give me a perfect bikini line is "basic" and showering in a crowded room is "basic," too.
Helen looks in shock, Quinn is too.
Daria : And the most "basic" thing they did, working from Quinn's suggestions, is THIS!
She rips open her top revealing her breasts, which look horrible. The stitches were done sloppily and two huge red pieces of artificial skin cover up the cuts. Jake shrieks and faints.
Helen : (Angrily, to Quinn) What suggestions?
Quinn : Errrr, I......Errrr.....
Daria : Save it, Quinn. You will pay for this, and will pay dearly.
Trent gives Daria a shirt and the three of them walk up the stairs carrying a couple of buckets of paint and a big sledgehammer with them. Daria opens the door to her room and looks at it in disgust: it has changed into a copy of Quinn's room.
Daria : Let's dance!
And they begin tearing the place apart and start to paint the walls black. All the clothes Quinn bought for Daria are thrown out of the window and are replaced with six identical green jacket, orange shirt and black pleated skirt outfits.
Quinn : Oh no, what have you done? All my hard work is ruined!
Daria : (Grating) And the best is yet to come: I've filed charges against both of you.
Helen : You wouldn't!
Daria : I did. Having your daughter "physically enhanced" against her will is a punishable offence; as a lawyer you should have known that. Jodie is currently finishing up a case for me against the two of you, the beauty farm and Dr Sharr. Eric Sheckter will be my attorney.
Helen : E...Eric, my boss?
Daria : You wanted me to turn into another Quinn, and you got your wish, but now you have to face the results of your actions. Don't worry about it, though, I really didn't press charges against you, Mom, but I guess threatening YOU, one of the state's finest lawyers, with a face off with your own daughter would scare you enough. But as for you Quinn.....

The court day arrives.
The judge enters the court room, the case of Daria Morgendorffer against Quinn Morgendorffer is about to start.
Judge : I here by declare the case of Daria Elaine Morgendorffer against her sister...
Quinn : (Quickly) Cousin!
Judge : (continuing) ...her SISTER, Quinn Louise Morgendorffer, opened. (to Daria) Ms Morgendorffer, state you terms.
Daria : Your Honor, my SISTER Quinn persuaded my mother to take me to a beauty farm to get me a quote "makeover" unquote seeing this as another opportunity to change me into a quote "popular girl" unquote. My mother agreed. They forbade me to see my friends; they even had patrol cars following me to make sure that I really didn't see them anymore. The beauty farm itself was sheer terror for me, as my evidence will prove. Roll tape, please.
A film is started; it's the footage taken by a security camera. We see Dr Sharr numbing Daria and taking her away.
Dr Sharr, who's also in the court room, goes white as a sheet.
Jenny : Hey, this isn't part of the deal! Who got you that tape?
Romonika smirks a Mona Lisa smile.
Daria : As well as treating me as a lab animal, they also altered my body against my will. Therefore I'm also filing charges against the "Swan Pond" beauty farm and Doctor Emily Sharr. Your honor, my sister did send a message to Dr Sharr with suggestions on my "makeover" which included a breast enlargement. Unfortunately, the latter was done in such an inexperienced manner that I will need to visit a real surgeon to remove the implants. (Dr Sharr groans at hearing the words "inexperienced" and "real surgeon" and at seeing the pictures of Daria's enlarged breasts.) The surgeon who is treating me told me I got lucky; the operation was so poorly done that it was a miracle that I didn't get an infection. Given the state my sister is in, I can understand her position, but I will not let her treat me like this. I rest my case.
Judge : Thank you. Will the defense rise, please?
Helen : Your Honor, the defendant explained her reasons; they were out of pure vanity, a common problem with girls her age. She wanted a sister she could be proud of and decided to model her after herself. I agreed with the treatment of Daria believing it would be a positive experience and putting her in a new light. The defendant didn't tell me about the letter but she told me that it was done for Daria's own good. I rest my case.
Judge : Jury, you may discuss the verdict for this case. In the meantime, I call this case paused.
Jane : Boy, you kicked ass out there. Where did you get that evidence?
Daria : Let's just say from an unexpected place or person.
Trent : Daria, I'm glad you're back and I got you this book. (Hands her Christopher Reeve's autobiography "Still Me") I hope you like it.
Daria : You got it right, Trent, I'm "still me".
Trent : Could I speak to you in private?
Daria : Sure.
"Seemann" by Rammstein starts to play as Trent takes Daria apart.
Trent : I want to take you to "Lovers Lane" tonight, I missed you so much.
Daria : That's so sweet of you, but I can't.
Trent : I understand, after all the humiliation, you must feel...
Daria : No, that's not it, I really want to "set the beast loose on you" but I'm in a constant agony because of my breasts. I'm afraid you'll have to wait a few weeks longer until my implants are removed and I can go back from cup double D to my cup B-minor.
Trent : Ah, I get it.
Daria : But I'll be worth the wait.
They kiss.

A little while later, the jury has decided.
Judge : Jury, have you reached a verdict?
Jury member : Yes, Your Honor, the jury declares the defendant Quinn Louise Morgendoffer guilty of all charges.
Quinn takes a loud gasp.
Judge : I hereby send the defendant to 200 hours of community service at the library. (slams the gaffel.)
Quinn : THE LIBRARY?
Daria : Yes, which is my world. I visited yours and didn't like it, now it's your turn to visit my world. Enjoy your stay.
Judge : Next case, Daria Morgendorffer against the "Swan Pond" beauty farm and Dr Emily Sharr.

A few weeks later, all the court cases have been done. Daria, Jane and Jodie are looking at the results.
Jane : You really wrought havoc there; the "Swan Pond" had to close and more and more girls are filing charges against Dr Sharr for ruining their bodies with sloppily performed surgery. This all led to her going bankrupt and having to retrieve her Doctorate. Well done.
Daria : (who has her autumn glow back in her hair and is wearing her horn rim glasses again.) Thanks. After all, it never hurts to help.
Jodie : But there is one thing I don't get. Why did you send Romonika DeGregory to a hospital for treatment on drug abuse?
Daria : She has been messing with "Mr Brownstone" (Guns N' Roses slang for heroin) a little too much and after she helped me to get off early, this is my way of thanking her.
Jodie : And how are you?
Daria lifts up her jacket showing her breasts. They are bandaged after the implants were removed.
Daria : The doctor said that I'm making good progress in recovering. It won't be long until I can take the bandages off.
Jane : As I said before, Daria, you can just shake that stuff off and be yourself again.
Daria : And having brainwashed the local medical/fashion community is an added bonus to that.