Like a Rabbit On the Run
By: a href="mailto:blue_new_girl@addictmail.com">the blue new girl

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. Even if only one is mentioned. But still I made NO money off this
and I don't own them. Fair enough?
Spoiler warnings for "Dye, Dye, My Darling" spoiler. (maybe?)
Summary: A muse on Jane's behalf.
there are end notes...

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Like a Rabbit On the Run

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"It must be worth losing
If it is worth something"
-Talula by Tori Amos

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I've been thinking hard lately. Thoughts keep flowing through my mind
and I'm not sure what they mean, if anything. Something tells me that
these thoughts aren't so strange and that maybe they're an omen of
something unforeseen. I wish I knew.


Lately I've been finding it hard to walk to down the street. Somehow
I always end up at your doorstep across town. I saw it coming on but
I didn't want to call you on it. I'd pick up the phone but in my mind
I would see those tears shed late at night in the dark and the denial
early the next morning. I told myself I would not cry. Too bad, I
fucked that up too. Caught like a rabbit in the headlights I froze in
time, trying to keep the puzzle together. I guess that made it harder
to watch the pieces crumble.


Today was going to be the day I was going to give it all back to you.
All those words that we never said and all those instincts to run on
away from the fire got lost in the wind today. I stand alone atop the
mountain you never thought I could climb. Look at me now from below.
See me for what I was not who I am.


I know it wasn't some terrible plot against me to get to her. It just
was easier to think that way. Yeah, I'll heal. Maybe I'll go away for
the summer and drain my wounds. I'll go visit my mother in Maine.
Maybe watch a few Casco Bay sunsets. With. Out. You.


White ribbons laid out on your luggage I see. So I want to ask where
you are going but you don't answer. Oh, you've figured out my way of
speaking when you're not around. I'm a working metaphor, baby. I can
see, now, that you want her and she wants you. I think I'm okay with
that. Aren't I?


I feel so odd right now. Guess that swim I took with you left me a
little more heavy than I had thought. I sigh and trace your outlines
in my mind. I figured you for a lite date, a fling perhaps. Now we're
all walking away with a pin in our heart and we're still trying to
figure out how we relieve the pain. I hope that time apart from the
world does you good.


All alone now. Everyone is all alone. The phone isn't ringing and the
sun isn't setting. Seems as if all time has frozen just for this
moment. Sometimes I like this feeling of solitude. Right now I don't
want it to suck me in. I close my eyes and think that she'll be
happier than she's ever been with you. But that still doesn't mask
the pain I have. That's what happens when you pretend things are
different than what they really are.


I pick up the phone only to have it slip from my hand. I try again,
shaking, and succeed this time. I dial her number. Maybe this will
be a turning point. Or could it be the end of the beginning?


"Daria?"


***
end
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End notes:
Oh what to say, what to say. Okay, this is basically a piece
riddled with metaphors and other unusual stuff. It's from Jane's POV
and is only my second attempt at fic. I've re-read it several times and
I'm not sure if anyone else will get this story besides me. I'm not
going to tell you what it means to me ;), I want you (the reader) to
try and figure out some interpretations for yourself. I hope you
enjoyed it.
feedback to: blue_new_girl@addictmail.com