"Making Love" by Carole Bayer Sager, Burt Bacharach and Bruce Roberts
"Here, close to our feelings
We touch again, we love again
Remember when we thought
Our hearts would never mend
And we're all the better for each other
There's more to love
I know
Then making love
Here, no more confusion
We see our lives, we live our lives
Remember when we thought
We never would survive
And now neither one of us is breaking
There's more to love
I know
Then making love
And now I'm feeling strong enough to
Let you in
And now neither one of us is breaking
Knowing now there's more to love
Then making love
And I'll remember you…
And making love"
I awoke the next morning feeling snug and content lying against the warmth of my human pillow. Stretching slightly against the length of the body next to mine, I smiled at the sense of serenity and happiness that was welling inside of my breast. For once, I'd managed to sleep through the night and at least temporarily conquer the insomnia that had plagued me for the last month.
Strong arms wrapped themselves around me in response to my stretching motions. Laughing softly, I reached a hand up to lightly tweak the tip of my captor's nose.
"Let me up," I said, smiling in response to the look on his face. He clearly had been awake for some time now, and was enjoying the game of possum that he was playing with me. "I mean it," I warned him.
One crystal blue eye opened itself up to gaze at me in response to my threat. "Or what?" he mumbled back to me.
"I'll think of something," I promised him, laughing as he began to tickle me in response to my threat, clearly calling my bluff. Soon I was shrieking with laughter and writhing helplessly on the bed, my legs became hopelessly entangled in the blankets until I soon found myself pleading for mercy.
"I'm sorry, okay? I mean it - I really am!" I gasped out at him somewhat breathlessly, pleading with him to cease his early morning torture method of choice.
"Hmm…do I feel merciful right now? Nah!" he answered, rolling his body over mine swiftly to straddle my hips with his thighs while holding my wrists captive above my head.
"Mercy!" I pleaded, giggling as I felt the sandpaper like texture of his whiskered cheek coming into contact with the side of my neck. "Please kind sir!"
"Okay," he relented, staring down at me intently while his tangled mass of blond curls drifted down to lay alongside my face. Seeing a somewhat somber look suddenly crossing over his features, I gazed at him in slight puzzlement as I watched him slowly lower his face to mine after a brief moment's hesitation. His blue eyes burning intensely into mine, he hovered above my lips momentarily before swooping down to claim them with his own.
Feeling my body stiffen somewhat at first in surprised response to his kiss, I nonetheless found myself becoming quickly caught up in the wonderful sensations that his mouth was evoking on mine. Bringing my hands up to entwine my fingers through the thick silk of his hair, I noticed with surprise that his hair had suddenly changed, becoming increasingly curly and wiry to the touch. Pulling my lips away from his, I found myself suddenly looking up into a set of deep brown eyes that were gazing down at me with infinite sadness.
"You couldn't wait for me, could you? I thought that you were different, that you were the one, but you're just like all the rest... "
****************************************************************************
Shaking my head 'no' vigorously in response to his words, I managed to shake myself right out of my dream. Sitting up in bed, I looked over at Chris, who was still sleeping peacefully, curled up on his side. Raising my fingers to my lips, I could swear that they were tingling like they had just been kissed. And not just by anyone, but by Scott. I not only could still taste him, but his scent surrounded me as well.
Making my way into the kitchen, I started a pot of coffee and then wandered over to gaze out of my living room window into the empty street below. Grabbing a cup of coffee to warm myself up with when it had finished brewing, I resumed my watch at the window and thought about my dream. It had unnerved me considerably, and left a very unsettled feeling lurking about in the pit of my stomach. Was it Scott? Had dreaming about him upset me by remembering the intimacy that we had once shared with one another?
Or was it the fact that Chris had been kissing me before Scott had materialized? Yes, it had been Chris who'd been kissing me - and what bothered me the most as I now reflected on the dream was how much I had enjoyed the remembered sensation.
An hour or so later, Chris awoke and joined me out in the living room. "You got any of that java for me?" he asked me somewhat sleepily as he shuffled over towards the couch.
"Sure thing," I told him, finding myself somewhat reluctant to make eye contact with him after that unnerving dream.
Pouring another cup of coffee, I silently handed it to him before walking into the bathroom. Turning on the shower spray until it was nice and hot, I took refuge in the warmth of the water that pounded itself over my skin. Deliberately pushing aside any thoughts about that damn dream and any possible meaning behind it, I showered leisurely and then dressed for the day. Joining Chris back out in the living room, I noticed with pleasant surprise that he had made breakfast for the two of us.
Joining him at the table, we ate our meal in shared silence. After awhile Chris looked over at me and finally spoke.
"So when do you want to go shopping?" he asked.
"Shopping?" I responded with a somewhat puzzled look. "Yeah - grocery shopping," he reminded me. "Remember - I told you last night that I'd go shopping with you today, to at least guarantee that you leave this cave of yours for a few hours."
"You don't have to help me shop Jerky," I laughed at him. "I'm quite capable of..."
"I have to do some of my own anyway," he told me. "Besides - if we get that out of the way early, then we can do something fun afterwards."
"Okay," I gave in, smiling at him. "Chris, I just wanted to say thank you for..."
"No biggie," he said, cutting me off. "Just promise me your first born, okay?" Laughing at him, my smile soon froze into place when he reached over to lightly dab at some ketchup that was lingering at the corner of my mouth. A great lump suddenly arose in my throat in response to the tenderness of his touch, and to my mortification my eyes soon filled with tears.
"Gab? What is it?" he asked me. "Nothing," I told him somewhat brusquely. "Why don't you jump into the shower and I'll tackle these dishes okay?"
Sighing, he got up from the table and made his way down the hall towards the bathroom. I began to wash the dishes while I waited for him, deliberately shoving aside any thoughts or feelings that I felt surfacing inside of me. I continued my duties mechanically, focusing solely on the task at hand.
After Chris had showered, we left together and stopped at his place for a few minutes before leaving for the market. I waited in the living room while he changed his clothes and brushed his teeth. When he was ready, we left for the store and proceeded with the mundane task that was ahead of us.
One thing that I admired about Chris was that he always tried to make the most out of everything he did in life, and grocery shopping was no exception. I couldn't help but laugh at him as he whizzed down the thankfully empty aisles while showing off his cart-riding prowess. He drove me crazy sometimes with his antics. I'd turn away momentarily to reach for something on a shelf and then turn back to my cart to see a jar of pickled pig's feet or a packaged cow's tongue laying on top of the stack of food in front of me. When faced with my look of accusation he'd gaze back at me unfazed with an expression of mock innocence while batting his eyelashes at me in an exaggerated fashion.
"Stop it Jerky!" I hissed at him constantly throughout our shopping time together. "I mean it!"
The final straw turned out to be the hemorrhoid cream and the lice medication that he somehow managed to hide at the bottom of my cart. These wonderful discoveries weren't made until I was at the checkout counter. Standing in front of me in line, he turned towards me in surprise when he heard me begin to swear at him.
"Lady, I don't know what your problem is, but my name's not Chris - I don't even know who you are - you know, there are specialists that you can talk to about problems such as yours," he told me with a haughty air, his blue eyes twinkling merrily.
"I hate you," I mouthed silently at him. Laughing in response, he turned away from me and winked at the cashier. "It's so sad to see how the mentally ill have little choice but to walk the streets these days without getting the help they need..." he told her.
Accepting defeat, unable to control myself any longer, I rested my head upon the handle of the cart and howled with laughter. Gasping for air, I soon found myself hiccuping uncontrollably.
"Ahh - not only mentally ill but thoroughly soused as well ... such a pitiful state to be in during the early morning hours..." he said, continuing to taunt me.
"Damn you!! Stop!!" I managed to gasp out at him. "I mean it - don't make me laugh any more ... I'll pee... " I warned, a new tide of laughter overtaking me as I saw the look of horror written on his face.
"Listen lady - I can't help you there - you should have added some Depends to your cart if this is a regular problem for you," he admonished me sternly.
Completely giving up at this point, I waited for him to pass through the check out line before making my purchases. Ignoring the disapproving look that the cashier was casting in my direction, I glared at Chris who waved back at me playfully in response while standing by the front doors of the store.
Walking out to his car together, I waited until all the groceries had been loaded into the trunk before reaching out to smack him hard on the arm.
"How could you?" I asked him, unable to stop myself from giggling once more. "She's beating me up folks!" Chris yelled out into the parking lot as I smacked his arm a few more times playfully. "She's out of control!"
"I'll really beat you up in a moment if you don't stop this," I vowed to him through gritted teeth. Giggling at him as the look on his face changed once more, my laughter soon died in my throat as he pulled me into his arms to hug me tightly.
"Promise? Don't tease me now," he whispered huskily to me while blowing into my ear in an annoying fashion. "Anyway - everyone knows that I'm a lover, not a fighter..."
"Give me a break Jerky," I told him, shoving his body away from mine with a sigh of exasperation.
"It was good to see you do that," he told me somewhat seriously while reaching out to brush a lock of hair out of my eyes.
"Do what?" I asked, eyeing him somewhat suspiciously. After all, he could be setting me up again after the morning's antics so far.
"Laugh and smile," he told me quietly, reaching out to chuck me beneath my chin.
"C'mon - let's get out of here."
After putting away the groceries at each of our respective apartments, Chris and I left to enjoy an afternoon of escapism at the local movie theater. Two ridiculous comedies later we were on a laughing high, acting like we were 10 years old again and loving every minute of it.
We had dinner together that night and caught up on two months worth of developments in each of our respective lives. I was reluctant to talk about Scott, and Chris must have sensed this because he didn't question me about him or try and talk about what had or hadn't happened between the two of us.
Dropping me back off at my apartment later that evening after we had finished dinner, I thanked Chris for a wonderful day and promised to stay in touch with him. He told me that he was leaving town in a few days and would be back in another 3 weeks or so. I gave him a big hug and told him to tell my friends Matt and Jeff that I had said hello. He promised to play a mean prank on the Hardy Boyz and then tell them that I had been behind it. I laughingly asked him to leave them alone, and he in turn promised that he'd do no such thing.
Waving goodbye to him, I walked up to my apartment and spent the next hour wallowing about in a warm bathtub, with peach scented soapsuds tickling my nose. Yawning, I told myself that I needed to make it an early night so that I would be up at a decent hour the next morning.
Fixing myself a cup of warm Ovaltine as incentive to fall asleep, I drifted off to dreamland shortly thereafter.
****************************************************************************
I'm standing in a garden. I glance down and notice the beautiful red glazed tile at my feet, and then look up to take in all of the gardenia and rose bushes that are surrounding the perimeter of the tile. The sun is setting, and I can hear the birds as they begin to settle themselves in for the night in the trees overhead. A cool breeze floats across my skin, caressing it gently, and I inhale the sweet perfume of the gardenia flowers as it passes by. The smell is intoxicating and I feel slightly lightheaded.
Hearing footsteps walk up and then stop behind me, I turn my head to the side slightly in surprise as I feel a pair of large warm hands gently wrap themselves around my waist.
"May I have this dance?" a deep soft voice murmurs into my ear.
Nodding my head 'yes', I turn around to face my dance partner. His face is masked by the cool evening shadows that have fallen across the garden, and I can't make out if I recognize this person or not, but something about his voice and manner is very familiar to me. He pulls my body close to his, and in response I lay my head against his chest. His strong arms surrounding me with comfort and security, we begin to sway gently to the music of the acoustic guitar that is playing from somewhere nearby.
"The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun
Rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars
Were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the endless sky my love..."
Closing my eyes in pleasure as I hear the song playing that I love so much, a pair of soft lips soon descends downwards to lightly skim along the top of my bare shoulder. Sighing in response, I cuddle closer to the warmth of my dancing companion.
"And the first time ever I kissed your mouth
I felt the earth
Move in my hands
Like the trembling heart
Of a captive bird
That was there at my command my love..."
Looking up at my companion, I smile into the darkness that is his face and feel warm soft lips descend upon mine. Sighing, I reached my hands up to run themselves up the broad length of his back.
"And the first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart
So close to mine
And I knew our joy
Would fill the earth
And last till the end of time my love..."
We began to slowly spin around while remaining joined at the lips. I'm dizzy, and suddenly feel as if I'm floating and I grasp him closer for some semblance of security.
In a heartbeat my feet are once again on the ground, and my arms are now cupping empty air; my companion has vanished. Looking around, I see that I'm now alone in the garden. Walking over to a small pond that's across a large expanse of deep green grass, I sink to my knees beside it, ignoring the grass stains that mark the ivory linen of my dress. Dipping my hand into the pool, I feel the cool wetness of the water sliding over my fingers.
"Where are you? Why did you leave?" I murmur out loud.
"Wait for me Gabrielle." A voice whispers to me from over my shoulder, causing the hair to rise up on the back of my neck. Looking behind me, I see no one. I'm alone.
****************************************************************************
I awoke with a start, my heart pounding in my chest as I smelt the sweet scent of gardenias in the air.
Turning onto my side, I cuddled the pillow next to me and wept silently into its softness.
And so the night passed.
****************************************************************************
The next three weeks passed by in an ordinary fashion, with very little excitement to mark their occasion. Chris phoned me a few times during this time, and I enjoyed chatting both with him and Matt and Jeff as well. I hadn't seen the Hardy's for some time now, and was looking forward to seeing them the next time they came into town.
My birthday was visible on the horizon, and I didn't have any particular plans as of yet to spend it in any special fashion. I was sitting home one night devouring a new novel when my phone rang. Somewhat distracted and longing to get back to my story, I mumbled into the phone.
"Yes?" I said into the receiver.
A few beats passed and I heard no response.
"Hello?" Pause.
"Okay then - goodbye..." I was ready to hang up the phone when I finally heard a voice on the other end.
"Gab? It's Scott. How are you?"
My heart suddenly thumping against my chest in surprise, I stammered back to him that I was fine. It had been almost 3 months since I'd heard from him, and I was torn between not knowing what to say and demanding to know anything and everything that had happened in his life since I'd last seen him. We spoke for about half an hour. His life sounded like it was pretty much the same, but I noticed that he sounded a little down and I tried to lift him up a bit and have him open up to me. He rejected my few subtle attempts to start in on any deep subjects however, so I deliberately kept our topics light and somewhat superficial.
He asked me what my plans were for the next few weeks, and I told him that I had a birthday coming up next week and then he abruptly told me that he'd like to come to town to see me and help me celebrate. A large smile suddenly breaking out from the depths of my soul, I laughed aloud joyously and told him that I'd love to see him again and looked forward to his arrival. He asked me if I had any special birthday gift requests, and I told him, "No, just you."
Our conversation ended soon afterwards and he told me that he would see me in a few days. I offered to pick him up at the airport but he declined, saying that he wanted to rent a car during his stay here in town. He told me that he'd be arriving into town early on Sunday evening and would meet me over at my place for dinner. Hanging up the phone, I literally bounced up and down on my couch and laughed aloud. Scott was coming back to town!!
The next few days seemed to drag by with agonizing slowness. Happy and pent up with nervous excitement, I cleaned and re-cleaned my place several times in preparation for Scott's arrival. I planned a special dinner for the night of his arrival and spent the better part of the afternoon preparing the meal, humming happily to myself and stopping in my tracks nervously every time I heard footsteps walking up the stairway to my front door.
Dinner taken care of, I took a leisurely bath and then carefully selected an outfit from my closet and spent extra time with my hair and makeup. With nothing more to do but wait for the knock at the door, I sat on the edge of the couch and tried to read, quickly realizing the futility of concentration of any sort and contented myself instead with channel surfing for awhile. Looking up at the clock every five minutes or so, time seemed to have slowed down to a crawl.
Hours passed in leisurely succession, and there was no Scott. No phone call either. Sighing, I kept checking my phone to make sure that it was still working and tried to do several things to keep my mind off of the situation at hand, with no success however. I finally threw in the towel so to speak at 2 in the morning, when I realized that something must have happened. An iron clamp of panic gripped down upon my stomach as dozens of horrific scenarios began to run through my head, which I was unable to stop. I prayed for his safety and hoped that wherever he was, he was okay.
The next morning I woke up early having only slept a few hours and called the airport to find out any possible information that I could. My efforts were futile; the airlines refused to release any passenger information to me. Growling in frustration, I used my pent up energy to scrub my oven and clean out my refrigerator.
I still hadn't heard anything from Scott. Not one peep. Not knowing what to think or how to feel, I was frustrated to the point of tears. I realized how much I'd been looking forward to seeing him, and how much he truly did mean to me.
That night I got a call from Chris. Hearing something in my voice that told him that I was unhappy about something, he managed to pry the information out of me in his typical persistent style. I told him that I'd heard from Scott, and that he was supposed to come into town the previous evening to stay for a few days. After I finished relaying the information to him, I was greeted with an awkward silence.
"I'm sorry, Gab," Chris told me.
"Sorry? Sorry for what?" I asked him.
Sighing softly, Chris proceeded. "Scott called me yesterday and asked me if I wanted to join him and a few of his friends in Mexico. They decided on the spur of the moment to make a run down there for a few days and invited me to come along. I told him no, I wanted to get back home. I'm sick of staying in hotels and want to sleep in my own bed for a few nights for a change."
His words hitting me like a brick hammer, I took a deep breath and attempted to calm myself "Did he mention me to you at all?" I asked Chris.
"No," he answered.
"I see," I told him somewhat stiffly. "Look Chris, thanks for calling. I'm glad to hear that you guys are all doing okay out there and I forward to seeing you soon. I've got to go now okay?"
"Wait Gab don't go it's..."
"Bye Chris," I told him as I hung up the phone with a shaking hand. "Happy Birthday
Gabrielle," I whispered to myself
Chris, Matt and Jeff arrived into town a few days later. I was submerged in my typical hibernation routine, letting my answering machine screen my calls. There was still no word from Scott. What the hell was going on with him?
Hearing my doorbell ring late one Wednesday afternoon, I stopped working on my term paper for my mythology class and headed for the door. Peering through the peephole, I was met with a leering grin from the only person that I knew who was capable of such a smile.
"Hiya Jerky," I told him, opening the door and smiling in greeting at him.
"Hey there you old bag," he greeted me, walking inside my place and giving me a large hug and a loud smack on the cheek. "Happy Belated one," he said to me. "I brought gifts!" Turning around to look towards the door, I saw my other two favorite people in the world walking in through the doorway with their arms full.
"Matt and Jeff!" I exclaimed.
"Happy Birthday Gabrielle!" They said to me in chorus. "Hey - we got a surprise for you," Matt told me, sidling up and giving me a hug and a kiss.
"What's the surprise?" I asked him, looking around at all three of their innocent faces with some suspicion. "C'mon ... spill the beans!"
"Well," Jeff began, stopping to give me a hug hello, "We knew it was your birthday so we decided to get you the perfect gift," he continued with a wide smile.
"And what would the perfect gift be?" I asked them.
"A little pussy!" they all chorused to me. "A WHAT??" I asked them.
"And what's better than a little pussy?" Chris grinned at me. "A lot of pussy!" Matt replied, doubling over with laughter at the shocked expression on my face.
Walking back towards the door, Jeff opened it and reached around the corner to bring a small box into the apartment. Closing the door after him, he leaned against it and opened the lid of the box. Two tiny furry heads poked up over the rim of the box and stared at all of us with wide-eyed wonderment.
"Oh my God," I whispered, starting towards the box. Taking it from Jeff, I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, laying the box at my feet. Reaching inside, I pulled a small black furry body from the box and cuddled it to my chest.
"Hello sweetie," I murmured into the kitten's fur. Pulling back slightly, I gazed at the green eyes that were staring back at me, slightly unfocused. "You're so tiny little one," I whispered. "What's your name?"
"That's up to you Gab," Matt told me with a grin. "He's a male and this here is his sister," he said, handing the second bundle of fur over in my direction. Giving the black kitten to Chris who had sat beside me, I reached out to cuddle the beautiful little calico kitten with the golden eyes. "Hello princess," I murmured into her fur. She clung to my shirt with her needle sharp claws, and soon began to meow somewhat piteously.
"What do you think? Do you like them?" Chris asked me. "We wanted to get you something that you'd really love for your birthday, and they were in need of a good home. I was seriously considering getting you that big old emerald that you've been drooling over forever in Zales but decided instead that..."
"Thank you so much," I told him, turning around and hugging him tightly. "This is the best gift anyone's ever given me."
"Happy Birthday, I'm sorry that it's late," he told me. Shaking my head at him, I shushed him with the tip of my finger and grinned up into his twinkling blue eyes.
"So what's your name little one?" he asked, bending over to address the calico kitten while rubbing her ears gently with his fingers.
"Sasha," I told him, smiling down at the new addition to my family. "And meet Griffin," I told everyone, gesturing over to the black bundle of fuzz that Chris was holding. Standing up and handing Sasha to Jeff, I bent over and gave Matt a huge hug and thanked him for the wonderful gift. I then thanked Jeff as well, taking care not to squish my new baby as I gave him a hug of his own.
"I can't believe you guys," I said, looking around and smiling at them.
"We're pretty amazing, aren't we?" Matt replied, reaching over to pet Sasha's back gently. She had evidently taken an instant liking to Jeff, because she had promptly burrowed herself into the crook of his neck with no sign of going anywhere for quite awhile. Jeff smiled and stroked her tiny purring body gently.
"Hope you don't mind that we just crashed in on you," Chris told me. "Not at all Jerky," I said to him, reaching out to ruffle his hair lightly with my hand.
"We brought cake," Matt said, grinning up at me. "You did?" I asked him. "That's sweet of you, thanks. Would you guys like to order a pizza for dinner?"
"Sounds great!" Chris said, bounding over to the phone book to look up the number. "Shh..." Jeff whispered to us, gesturing at his small charge who was still nestled against him, evidently fast asleep.
Reaching down to pick up Griffin, I nuzzled him close to me and kissed the top of his velvety ear. "Welcome to your new home little guy," I told him. Walking over to stand by Chris, he asked what type of pizza I'd like to order. I told him that it was up to them as pizza had never been a favorite of mine.
After the order had been placed, I settled myself back onto the couch with Griffin lying on my lap. Jeff sprawled on the other couch, lying on his back with Sasha cuddled up asleep on his chest. Chris reached into a bag and brought out a few videos that they'd rented for the evening. Looking at the three selections that he plopped onto the coffee table I smiled, knowing that this impromptu get together would last the night.
I turned my head in the direction of the kitchen when I heard a whispered animated conversation coming from inside. A conspiracy that was hatching involving Chris in some way, no doubt, and I sighed with contentment as I devoted my attention back to Griffin.
Chris left the kitchen a few minutes later and joined me back on the couch, sitting beside me and reaching out to pet Griffin. "I need to go to the store," I said to him.
"Why?" he asked me. "I need to get these little guys some things," I told him.
"No you don't - we bought everything that they'd need," Matt told me, walking back into the living room to join us and taking a seat on the floor, leaning his back against the couch. "Litter box, litter, food and water dishes, food, toys, everything. They've already had their first series of shots, and they're okay for now. The vet said that they're nice and healthy," he told me, leaning over to pet Sasha lightly on the top of her little head. Raising her head off of Jeff s chest for a moment, she blinked sleepily at him before laying her head back down once more on Jeff.
"Looks like Jeff's found a new best friend," I laughed while gesturing at the two napping together on the couch.
When the doorbell rang, Chris got up and brought the pizzas inside. Fixing plates for everyone in the kitchen, he brought the pizza into the living room for us with napkins and drinks for all. Popping the first video into the VCR, we sat down for the start of what was to be a very enjoyable evening indeed.
Soon enough all of the pizza had been eaten and the guys were beached out on their backs, groaning and holding their full bellies. Sasha continued to be joined to Jeff at the hip, and meanwhile Griffin took a small tour of the living room and sniffed at the scents of all of the mysterious objects that were in his new home.
Taking a break between movie number 2 and movie number 3, Chris left us to walk into the kitchen for a few minutes. I could hear him bustling about inside and wondered what he was up to now. Sticking his head out around the corner to call to Matt, I stayed behind and looked down at Griffin who was asleep at my feet. Jeff finally rose from his sedentary position on the couch, and perched Sasha up on his shoulder, taking her with him into the kitchen.
"Happy Birthday to you ... Happy Birthday to you ... Happy Birthday dear
Gabrielle ... Happy Birthday to you..." the three of them chorused as they headed around the corner with a carrot cake in their grasp. Smiling, I ducked my face into one of the couch pillows and felt myself flushing. Chris brought the cake over to rest it in front of me, grinning mischievously as I gasped in horror at all the candles flaming on top. Surely they'd be calling the fire department before too much longer.
"Happy Birthday Gab," Chris said to me. "Make a wish."
"Any wish?" I asked him.
Nodding yes, he repeated himself "Any wish you want."
Closing my eyes, I thought hard for a moment and then opened my eyes. "Okay," I said, leaning forward and drawing in a large lung full of air in preparation. Blowing frantically, I saw the candles flicker momentarily on the cake before lighting up brilliantly once more.
"Dang you Jerky," I laughed at Chris, who was blinking up at me innocently. "These things will never go out!"
"Well that way you get more wishes," Chris said to me, laughing as I rolled my eyes at him. "Well, that and more spit on the cake."
Laughing at him, I removed the cake from his grasp before taking it into the kitchen. Removing all the candles, I doused them in water before throwing them away. "Okay guys - who wants cake?"
"We do," came the response from the living room. "Me too," a voice replied from directly behind me. Turning around to face my companion, I laughed as I saw Chris hanging over my shoulder, leering in a somewhat greedy fashion at the cake. "Don't worry Jerky - I'll make sure to give you some," I told him.
Chris removed some vanilla ice cream from the freezer and got out several bowls from the kitchen cabinet. I sliced large pieces for the three of them, knowing that I didn't need an entire carrot cake in my house that would be calling my name late at night. Chris snaked his hand around me and swiped at the frosting on the side of the cake. I caught this slick move of his and promptly smacked his hand in response. Yelping slightly, he popped the frosted covered finger into his mouth and sucked loudly in an appreciative fashion.
"Yum, this is great. I love cream cheese frosting," he told me.
"I have no doubt that you do, but keep your paws out of the cake," I laughed at him.
"You know what your problem is Gab? You need to lighten up a little," he told me, distracting me momentarily before leaning down to swipe some more frosting.
"Really?" I said to him, raising an eyebrow in his direction. "Is that so?"
"Yes, indeed ma'am," he told me, smiling and bringing up his frosted finger to dance across my cheek.
"Chris!" I shrieked at him, pulling away when I felt the sticky substance come into contact with my skin. "Don't start anything! I mean it!"
"Or you'll what?" he grinned down at me, popping more frosting into his mouth. "Okay, I'm sorry Gab - don't know what came over me - here - let me make up for it," he said, dipping a napkin in water briefly before offering to wipe off my cheek in a gentlemanly fashion. Holding the side of my face up to his, I gasped suddenly in surprise when he latched onto my head instead and brought me forward, his warm tongue licking the offending frosting from my cheek instead of the napkin.
"Ewww...." I told him, giggling and pulling away. "What was that called?"
Smiling at me in an evil fashion, he responded, "I was trying to see if you were as sweet as the frosting - the fact is, you're sweeter," he smiled, leaning forward to kiss my forehead.
"Thanks Jerky," I said, smiling up at him. "Okay - let's get this cake out to those two in the living room shall we?" Chris said, returning my smile before leaning down to lightly kiss my lips while cupping my face softly with his palms.
"Umm... sure," I stammered out at him, suddenly feeling a bit awkward as I looked up into his eyes.
Turning his attention back to the task at hand, there was soon cake and ice cream dished up for all. I scolded Jeff when he tried to give Sasha a little bit of ice cream on his finger. Smiling at me in apology, he grimaced slightly in a delighted fashion as he felt the sandpaper of her little tongue licking greedily at his finger.
"Okay - next movie!" Matt called out, getting up to put the last movie into the VCR. Getting up from my seat next to Chris on the couch, I told Matt to take my place and I'd sit on the floor for a change.
"You wouldn't have to if Jeff wasn't hogging the other couch," he grumbled to me good-naturedly. Turning around to smile at us when he heard his name being spoken, Jeff pointed down at Sasha who was once again fast asleep on his chest. I should have named her Sleepy instead.
Taking my place on the floor on the other side of the couch, I sat off to the side and turned around when I heard Chris whispering my name and patting the space in front of him. I obligingly scooted over to sit in front of him, my back resting back between his legs against the couch.
Midway through the movie I smiled in pleasure as I felt my neck and shoulders being massaged. Leaning back further into his lap, I lay my head down and relaxed fully as I felt fingers moving lightly through my hair. My head pillowed on Chris' leg, I was fast asleep before too long, and soon oblivious to all happening around me.
The next thing I knew the movie was over and I heard whispered talk about going down to Chris' car to bring the bags upstairs. Hearing the front door open and then close softly, I groaned in complaint when my human pillow began to shift himself away from me.
"Gab - wake up," Chris said, prodding me gently. Groaning in complaint, I heard his low chuckle before the whispered suggestion by Matt that I be put to bed.
"Where should we put the kitties?" Chris whispered to Matt.
"Put them in the other bathroom - that's where their litter, food and water is," Matt replied. "They'll be okay there for the night - it's better if they're in an enclosed area, they'll feel safer. I'll put them in there right now," he said, scooping up the kittens and murmuring to them softly as he escorted them down the hallway.
"C'mon - it's beddy bye for you m'dear," Chris said to me quietly, getting up off of the couch and pulling me into an upright position. Feeling my body flounder around a bit in a sleepy state, I soon felt myself being maneuvered down the hall towards my bedroom. Opening the door, Chris pulled me into the room by the hand and then sat me down on the side of the bed.
"Go to sleep now," he told me, bending down to take off my shoes and socks. "We're gonna crash here tonight if that's okay with you. I'll sleep in the guest bedroom and Matt and Jeff will take the couches in the living room," he told me. "Gab? Are you listening? Okay then - let's get you changed - where are your pajamas?"
Opening one eye up in surprise in his direction, he laughed when he saw that he had at last gotten my attention. "You're not helping me change Chris - go to bed," I told him. "Where are the kitties?"
"Don't worry - Matt set them up in the bathroom and they'll be fine," he told me. "Tell Matt to close the lid on the toilet so that they don't go for a swim," I told him.
"Okay, I'll check on that myself - off to bed you go - night," he said, waving at me playfully before shutting the door. Somehow managing to roust myself into an upright position, I reached for my pajamas and changed into my shorts and t-shirt quickly before diving underneath the covers and calling it a night.
Sometime during the night I heard a soft knocking at my door, and turned over in bed to see Matt's head poking in through the door. "What is it?" I mumbled to him.
"I'm sorry to wake you Gab - hey - can I crash with you for tonight?" he asked me. "Sure," I responded. "I told Chris that you guys were all welcome to stay here..."
"No - I mean in here with you," he told me. "Chris has hogged the bed in the guest room and Jeff's sinuses are acting up again - he's snoring so loudly that I can't sleep."
"That's fine Matt," I told him, emitting a loud yawn. "Come on in."
"Thanks," he told me. "Hey - sorry - but do you have any extra blankets? I can make myself a bed on the floor and..."
"Don't be silly," I told him. "You're not sleeping on the floor - that's what beds are for."
"I don't want to crowd you," he told me apologetically. "I can sleep on top of the covers okay? Let me get my blanket from the living room..."
"Matthew Hardy get your butt in here!" I said. "Now!" I told him, reaching over to flip the covers back on the bed.
"Okay sis," he joked before joining me. "You'd better not snore like your brother," I warned him. "Don't worry - I don't think so," he laughed to me. Turning onto my side, I whispered to him, "Goodnight."
"Night," he replied.
Drifting back to sleep, I felt the bed move a few times as he shifted himself into a comfortable position before joining me in dreamland.
****************************************************************************
"The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun
Rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars
Were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the endless sky my love..."
****************************************************************************
Waking up from the now all too familiar dream, I lay quietly and observed that it was only 5 a.m. Turning onto my back, I pillowed my hands beneath my head and thought about the meaning of the dream and why I kept having it.
"Mornin'," Matt mumbled to me sleepily. Turning onto my side to face him, I saw him blinking back sleepily at me in the dimness of the nightlight. "Morning yourself sleepyhead," I smiled at him.
"Gab?"
"Yes?"
"What happened between you and Raven?"
Sighing softly, I told him everything that had happened with the two of us, stopping at the events of a few nights back when he'd not shown up and I'd learned from Chris that he'd gone to Mexico with some friends instead.
"What a jerk," Matt told me, snorting in disgust into his pillow.
"Something must be wrong," I told him. "I don't think that he'd ordinarily do..."
"No, he's a jerk," Matt repeated insistently. "You know Gab, sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees. Know what I mean?"
"You're trying to tell me that I'm overlooking the bad things about him in search of the good," I said to Matt.
"No, this has nothing to do with him," Matt replied. "Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees - you don't really SEE the people around you because you're too preoccupied with something or someone else. If only you would open up your eyes then you…"
"What are you trying to tell me?" I asked him.
"Nothing," he mumbled. "Forget I said anything. I'm sorry for what happened between you and Raven - I know that you liked him. I still think he's a jerk though."
Smiling, I reached out tousle his hair. "You're a good friend," I told him. "Thanks for caring."
"That's what I'm here for," he replied, pulling me close to lay my head on his chest. Wrapping his arm around my back, we lay there for awhile before drifting back off to sleep.
After napping for another hour or so, I reluctantly got up for the day. Leaning across the bed I tucked the covers under Matt's chin and smoothed the hair back from his forehead, smiling at how childlike he appeared while sleeping. Gathering my clothes and walking into the bathroom, I quickly showered and put my hair up into its customary ponytail. Making my way over to the other bathroom, I opened the door to check on the kittens and noticed with some alarm that they weren't anywhere to be found. Walking out into the living room, I found the two of them cuddled up on the couch with Jeff. Both of them lay sleeping side by side on top of him, their little hind legs stretched out and their faces nestled into either side of his neck.
Not able to pass up this opportunity up for a minute, I snuck into the guestroom to get my camera. Walking back out into the living room, I stood over the couch and quickly snapped off a few pictures.
"That's not nice," Jeff mumbled sleepily to me.
"Sorry kiddo - couldn't resist," I told him. "Are you up for some breakfast?"
Opening his eyes to look up at me, he gave me a sleepy smile. "Yep - you said the magic word - breakfast."
"Any requests?" I asked him.
"Food," he replied. Laughing, I walked back into the guestroom and quietly opened up the closet door to put my camera away.
"It's a sin you know," a voice thick with sleep mumbled to me from underneath the covers.
Turning around to face the shapeless lump that had to be Chris, I pounced on him, feeling
suddenly playful. "What's a sin Jerky?" I asked him.
"Being up this early," he replied to me. Laughing, I began to tickle him beneath the covers.
"Stop that!" he shrieked at me.
"Or what?" I challenged him.
"I'll think of something - give me a minute," he told me. "Okay - minute's up!" With the threat implicit in his voice, he quickly turned me over and in a heartbeat was straddling my waist.
"Let me up Jerky - I'm sorry, okay?" I laughed at him. "Too late - I demand that you make amends to ... to the belly monster!" he called out, a sudden war cry emitting from his throat.
"Chris NO!" I yelled to him, laughing and writhing uncontrollably as he lifted my shirt up, exposing my stomach. "Please don't do this - I'm sorry, I really am - I mean it - CHRIS!" I shrieked as his lips suddenly descended onto my stomach, blowing noisily into my skin. "That tickles!"
"That's the point m'dear," he laughed back at me. "You know, this is easier if you hold still... "
"No more!" I called out, laughing uncontrollably.
"You need some help there?" A voice said from the doorway. Turning my head, I saw Matt standing there, his hair tousled and his eyes blinking sleepily.
"Please help me Matt," I pleaded with him. "Make Jerky stop - you're my friend - c'mon now, be a pal," I implored him.
"Okay," Matt said agreeably, bounding over to the bed to render assistance. To my dismay, he ended up assisting Chris and held my arms down, allowing Chris to blow noisily onto my stomach once more.
"Dang you both! I'll get you for this!" I laughed at them. "I was going to make you guys breakfast too," I continued breathlessly. The words were barely out of my mouth when I was released in an instant.
"Breakfast?" They asked, looking at me hopefully.
"Yep," I nodded.
"Okay - we're sorry - hey - are you still going to make us something?"
"Well, I do have cold cereal. It's either that or oatmeal and…"
"Grab her arms Matt!" Chris called out, readying himself to pounce once more.
"I was just kidding!" I called out. "Sheesh - I'll start it right now! Get your butts in the shower - and make sure that you leave enough hot water for everyone," I told them, rising up from the bed and going back into the living room.
"What was that all about?" Jeff mumbled to me from the couch.
"I was assaulted by the belly monster," I told him. "Belly monster?" he asked me, puzzled. "Never mind - don't want to know. Can I take these two with me when I go?" he asked, gesturing down at the two snoozing kittens.
"No, but you can see them whenever you want to," I said, smiling at him. "I'm off to fix breakfast. "
Starting the coffee, I whipped up a batch of blueberry muffins and then started to cook some bacon and sausage. A short while later Matt joined me in the kitchen, looking refreshed and ready to face the new day.
"Hey - why don't you shave this," I told him, pulling at his beard playfully.
"No way," he told me, taking a seat on the opposite counter and watching while I worked around him. "Hey - how's your friend Cassie?"
"She's fine," I told him, turning my attention back to flipping the bacon.
"I could have told you that," he grinned at me. "I meant, how is she doing?"
Shaking my head at him, I handed him a cup of coffee before leaning over to check the muffins in the oven. "She's doing well. We finished our class together last semester and she was a terrific study partner. I still see her around campus, and once in awhile we meet up for a movie," I told him. "Why?"
"No reason," he replied innocently, suddenly diverting his attention out the window to look at the birds perched on the bird feeder. "Uh huh - sure Matt," I teased him, reaching up to pinch his cheek. "Would you like me to deliver a message to her?"
"Just tell her that I said hello - and maybe we can all get together the next time we're in town," he told me with a wide grin.
"I'll see what I can do," I replied. "Hey - hand me a plate would ya?"
Removing the bacon and sausage from the pan, I asked him how many eggs he wanted and he told me two. Asking him if I had prepared enough f6r everyone, he told me that he had spotted some home fries in my refrigerator and then mentioned with a somewhat hopeful tone that they might taste good. Shaking my head in admiration of his young appetite, I set those on to cook as well and before too much longer Chris had joined us in the kitchen, leaving Jeff to shower last.
Telling Chris to watch the potatoes and the eggs, I removed the muffins from the oven before walking into the bathroom to make sure that the kittens had enough food for the morning and gave them fresh water. Watching them scamper about playfully, I walked back into the kitchen to remind the guys to watch out for the two kittens as they ran around and caught Matt and Chris in deep conversation about something. Observing how they quieted down as soon as I entered the kitchen, I shrugged and reached up to lift down some plates and began to set the table. Matt helped me finish this task and then I took over for Chris in the kitchen.
Soon we were all sitting down enjoying breakfast together. Matt and Jeff told me that they had a flight out later that morning and were planning on spending a few days at home before leaving for the next wrestling event.
All too soon our fun came to an end, and it was time for them to leave. Chris told me that he would be staying in town for another day, and asked if I wanted to do something with him that night. Telling him yes, that it sounded like a good idea, I thanked Matt and Jeff once more for the terrific birthday gift and told them to call me soon, and make sure that they stayed in touch. After a round of hugs and kisses they were out the door, leaving with the rest of the blueberry muffins. Chris told me that after he dropped them off at the airport he had to run a few errands and would meet me back at my place at around 7 p.m. that evening. Smiling at him, I told him that I'd see him later, and with a last wave at the guys, shut the door and went in and began to clean up the kitchen.
The afternoon passed in a blur as I found one activity after another to keep me busy. At 6:30 there was a knock at my door and I walked over to it, wondering what Chris had in mind for us to do that night.
Opening the door, my mouth fell open in surprise as I gazed at the figure standing on my doorstep.
"Uh - hi there," I said, somewhat taken aback.
"Hello again Gabrielle," Scott replied.
"Hi Scott," I repeated to him. "Come in."
He walked through the doorway and I closed the door after him. Walking away from him, I wandered into the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. "So what brings you to town?" I called out to him nonchalantly.
"This," he whispered, sidling up behind me and gently tilting my head to one side before planting a soft kiss against the side of my neck. My hand trembled while trying to bring the glass of water up to my lips. "That's nice," I murmured to him, trying to focus my attention onto something off in the distance and not succeeding.
"Nice?" he murmured to me, grasping my shoulders and turning me around to face him. "Did you miss me Gabrielle?" he murmured, leaning down to lightly brush the tip of my nose with his.
"Yes," I told him. "I missed you last week when you were supposed to meet me here for dinner."
"Sorry about that ... something came up," he replied before leaning down to nip his teeth lightly against my collarbone. Closing my eyes, I mentally cursed the effect that this man had on my body. I wanted to smack the smug smile off of those damn full beautiful lips of his. Those same damn lips that at that very moment were lightly blazing a trail of fire up the side of my neck and over to my ear.
"Scott we have to talk," I murmured to him.
"About what Gab?" He asked me, pulling away slightly and reaching his hand up to lightly cup my chin while gazing deeply into my eyes. Looking back at him, I suddenly became lost in a rolling vortex of sensation as I felt myself falling into his depths. Setting the glass down into the sink, I remained still and just looked at him, tracing every line and feature of his face with my eyes to sink it once more into my memory banks.
"Missed you," he murmured, leaning down and kissing my lips with the softness of a butterfly's wings. Sighing, I gave up the fight and ran my fingers up the creased leather of his jacket.
"Me too," I said, opening my mouth under his. Sensing victory at last, he plunged into my mouth with his tongue, searching for his prize. Growling softly as my fingers entwined through his hair, I forced his body closer to mine as his lips ravished mine.
"Scott..." I groaned into his mouth while lifting his shirt up to caress the hot skin of his back. Drawing my nails down his flesh tautly, he hissed at me in response and lightly nipped at the side of my throat with his teeth in return.
"Let's get rid of this," he told me, impatiently wrenching my shirt from under the waistband of my jeans and lifting it up and over my head before tossing it into the corner of the dining room. Leaning back once more to gaze down at me with intense promise, all the breath suddenly left my lungs in a whoosh as he leaned down and skimmed his lips against the tops of my breasts. Snaking his tongue down between my cleavage, he slowly made his way over to the top of one mound before sinking his teeth gently into the skin.
"Damn you," I breathed, my head lolling back on my shoulders as I pushed the jacket from his shoulders impatiently.
"But you love it, don't you?" he said, mocking me slightly as he began to unbutton my jeans.
"Yes," I admitted, pulling his shirt over his head and beginning to unzip his leather pants. Stepping out of the leather that had pooled at his feet, I saw that as usual he had on no additional undergarments on that would hinder our progress.
Falling onto his knees in front of me, he drew his tongue in small circles around my navel before closing his mouth over it, sucking voraciously. Entwining my fingers through his curly hair, I gasped in pleasure as I felt his large hands running up over my ribcage to cup my breasts through my bra, squeezing softly.
"Get these damn pants off," he growled at me.
Some facet of my brain that remained semi-coherent suddenly realized that someone was knocking at the door.
"Scott..." I breathed down at him.
"Not now - ignore them - they'll go away," he told me.
"I have to get it," I told him, pulling myself away from him reluctantly to look for my shirt, cursing all the while. Pulling it quickly over my head, I made my way over to the door. Opening it, I saw a smiling Chris standing on the doorstep.
"I'm sorry Chris - I forgot..." I told him, seeing the smile of greeting freeze on his lips as his eyes traveled curiously over my body, stopping when they took in the unbuttoned waistband of my pants.
"Did I catch you at a bad time?" Chris asked me with a smile.
"No, not really," I laughed.
"Hey there buddy," Scott said, strolling around the comer with his pants mercifully thrown back on, but his shirt still left somewhere in the kitchen. "Good to see you again Jericho!"
"Yeah, you too," Chris replied, smiling. "I didn't know you were coming to town," he told Scott.
"Spur of the moment trip," Scott laughed, walking over to stand behind me. "You want to come in for awhile?"
"Nah - I've got plans," Chris said. "I was going to go to a concert tonight that looked like it might be fun. I have to go before I'm late. I'll catch you later okay Scott? Take it easy. See you later Gab - these are for you," he said, smiling somewhat wistfully before handing me something that he had kept behind his back.
"I'll call you, Chris," I promised, waving at him and suddenly feeling guilty. He turned around and waved once more to me before tucking his head down to his chest and dashing quickly through the rain that was smattering about outside.
Closing the door, I sighed softly and looked down. Gardenias. He had given me a beautiful bouquet of gardenias tied with a white ribbon.
"Where were we?" Scott grinned, walking over to me and taking me by the hand to lead me into the bedroom.
****************************************************************************
Alone again, naturally.
Am I the most spineless creature that's ever walked the face of the earth? That's what I'd really like to know right now. I can't believe that I could be so pathetic - so stupid and weak.
After Chris left, Scott and I had ourselves a terrific time - mind you, we usually do horizontally, sometimes vertically for that matter.
Okay - time for some brutal honesty, alrighty? That man could drill me on a float in the middle of the Macys parade for all intensive purposes - as long as that delicious organ of his was between my legs, that's all that would matter. I'd be oblivious to all else.
I'm pathetic. Hey - admitting it is the first step, right?
This is what happened. Scott and I lay relaxing on my bed, basking in the 'afterglow' of our cardiovascular workout when I turned and asked him what he wanted to do for the rest of the night. Kissing me somewhat brusquely, he gets up from the bed and starts to throw his clothes back on. He then turns to me and tells me that he's in town to see a friend of his - and I'm NOT the friend.
Turns out that he has an appointment of sorts with a friend concerning a business prospect - and he has to leave right away. Is he coming back after his appointment? A big, fat 'nope' to that inquiry.
Trying not to sound like a stereotypical shrew, I asked him what was going on between us - if anything at all. To make a long story short, we got into an argument. A big one. He told me that I was starting to sound like a "girlfriend" and that it was a "real fucking turn off for him."
I told him that I didn't want to be a drive through lay for him, and that's when he informed me that he was disappointed in me. HE was disappointed with ME. He said that he thought I understood - that I was different - that we were physically compatible together, and that's what made our "relationship" a good one - no pretense or premise of love, commitment, promises or lies. Just enjoying one another's company - straight up - no strings attached. "Physically compatible" - like goddamn laboratory specimens.
Well fuck you, Scott Levy. (Yeah, I know I already did but you know what I mean)
Closing the door after he'd left, I showered and couldn't believe what an asshole I'd been for treating Chris like I had. He was a great friend, and didn't deserve to be second-string to a lay. Okay, so Scott was a great lay, but still a lay just the same.
Goddamn you Gabrielle - buy yourself a vibrator next time.
Throwing on some clean clothes I called Chris' number, receiving no response except for the answering machine. Sighing, I put my shoes on and then grabbed my keys, knowing that he deserved a face to face explanation for my abominable behavior.
Pulling up in front of Chris' place, I knocked on the door and received no response. Turning to leave, I figured that he had gone to the concert and would be home soon. Wrong again.
Back at my place, I checked my mailbox. Typical credit card offers and coupon crap. Coming across a plain white envelope, I held it up and saw my name scribbled across the front. This is what the note inside said:
Gab -
I decided to leave early for Chicago. Sorry I didn't get a chance to spend some time with you tonight - I miss you when I go away and really look forward to the time that we share together. I'm glad you like the kittens - take good care of them or you'll answer to Jeff.
Spoke with an old friend and I have the opportunity to do some wrestling in Japan for about a month - decided to take him up on the offer, so that's where I'm off to next after the upcoming road dates. I'll be home in about another two months. Take care of yourself, and I wish you and Scott nothing but the best.
I'd be eternally in your debt if you'd collect my mail for me while I'm gone - I'll bring you back a lovely souvenir for the favor. Sorry we missed the concert. Maybe next time.
Thanks - love you
Chris
Damn. Double damn. Something's wrong - I can feel it in my bones. Driving back to my place, I decided that I needed to talk to a friend. Please be home....
"Hello? Is Matt there?"
"Hi Matt - its Gab. I'm okay - how about you guys? Yes, the cats are fine - they're running around the living room right now. Oh, nothing ... well ... I'm sorry Matt... *sniffle* I ... I fucked up. Yeah, I do. Are you sure it's okay? You won't miss anything? Okay - I'll meet you at Troubadour tomorrow night, okay? Thanks for doing this. I'll be there at 8. Bye."
Matt was flying back to meet me. Hanging the phone up, I looked up at the stars that were dotting the night sky outside my living room window and cried. I cried for my stupidity, my weakness and my lost dreams. But most of all, I cried because I was saying goodbye.
****************************************************************************
I
arrived at Troubadour on time, and found a quiet table near the back of the bar.Ordering a margarita and a shot of tequila to accompany it, I quickly made up for my lack of drinking as of late. I must have been on my fifth margarita and downed an equal number of accompanying tequila shots before Matt showed up.
Through a haze of inebriation and smoke I saw him making his way over to my table. Glancing up at him with a somewhat lopsided smile, I saw his smile of greeting freeze in its tracks.
"C'mon Gab," he told me, grabbing my purse. "Let's go home."
"Go home?" I chortled at him. "Damn - the party's just started my friend!"
"I think you've had enough for now Gab - let's go okay?"
"Okay Matt," I slurred at him, raising up from the table a little too quickly and not realizing until it was almost too late that my equilibrium had been seriously compromised.
"I've got you," Matt told me, grasping me around the waist and leading me out the door. Stopping next to his rental car, he unlocked the passenger's side and helped me inside.
"Damn - hate these damn things," I muttered, fumbling about with my seatbelt. Sighing, he leaned over and made sure that I was buckled in securely before heading off to my apartment.
Everything seemed to be passing by in a colorful blur on the way home. Reaching my apartment, Matt parked the car and then helped me out.
"There'll be blue birds over ... the white cliffs of Dover ... tomorrow when the world is free..." I sang somewhat off key while stumbling towards the stairs.
"Damn," I said to myself "When did they make these damn stair thingies so steep?"
"I'll help you," Matt told me, grasping my elbow while attempting to lead me up the stairs.
"Whoopsie," I giggled as my foot stumbled against the second step. "Mr. Stair isn't playing fair. Hey - that rhymed!" Chortling with laughter, I collapsed in a heap on the stair.
Sighing in frustration, Matt pulled me quickly to him and before I knew it, he had thrown me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Walking up the stairs, he told me to keep still as I wiggled about on his shoulder.
"The world looks different somehow," I muttered to myself while contemplating life from upside down. Reaching my door, Matt set me down and then held me by the arms while I attempted to steady myself
"Oops," I giggled. "Where's my purse?"
"Right here," he told me, handing me my bag.
"I need to find the keys - the keys ... the keys to Key Largo...'Didn't we almost have it all... just like Bogie and Bacall ... starring in our own latescreen show ... something something Key Largo..."
"For heaven's sake!" Matt exclaimed, reaching impatiently for my purse. Rifling through the inner contents he finally found my keys and let us inside.
"Time for bed," he told me, leading me by the arm towards my bedroom.
"Okay," I sighed. "I'm dizzy anyway... " Was the last thing I said before hitting my bed with a soft thump. Pulling my legs up onto the bed, Matt removed my shoes and socks for me.
Looking down at me and shaking his head sadly, Matt went back downstairs to his car to retrieve his overnight bag and then promptly deposited himself in the guestroom.
****************************************************************************
RRRRRRAAAAAAAAFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!
I had just managed to make it to the bathroom before I was sick.
"Gab? Are you okay?" Matt asked me worriedly, running into the bathroom after me.
"No, I'm not okay - go away," I told him before turning around once more to retch into the toilet. Sighing, I heard him rifling through the linen closet for a washcloth. Walking back into the bathroom, he dampened the cloth with cold water and then crouched behind me, holding the washcloth to my forehead.
"Oh God," I moaned, hunched over the toilet.
"It's okay," Matt murmured, reaching up to rub my shoulders gently.
"Get out of here," I groaned before being gripped once more by uncontrollable abdominal spasms. Throwing up what had to have been my lower intestines, I moaned and gasped for air while shivering and whimpering.
Reaching over to the sink, Matt handed me a glass of water and was silent while I rinsed out my mouth and then spit the residue back into the toilet bowl.
"Mouthwash," I mumbled to him. Obliging, he handed me the Listerine and I swished once more.
"I hate my life," I muttered, resting my head against my forearms on the bathtub.
"Turn around," Matt said.
Complying with his request, I sat still while he cleaned my face softly with the washcloth.
"Better?" he asked gently.
"Not really," I breathed at him.
"Can you stand up?" he asked.
"Not yet," I told him. My head was beginning to spin faster. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I lay my head down onto them and then began to sob aloud.
"Oh Gab," Matt said sadly.
"I'm such a fool Matt - I thought I loved him - I thought he was the one," I said to him, hiccuping between my sobs.
"What happened?" he asked.
"What always happens - he comes, we fuck, he leaves," I told him.
"What else?"
I told him about the fight that had occurred before Scott had left.
"I want you to listen to me for a moment okay? You're telling me that you're unhappy, right? That this isn't making you feel good. That you need, want and deserve more in life, right? Well, since you've made this decision, it's your responsibility to act upon it now. Don't empower anyone else with this decision. It's up to you now, and you know it."
Raising my head up, I blinked at him and slowly nodded in agreement. Grabbing some kleenex, Matt scooted himself over to sit beside me, putting his arm around my shoulders.
"It hurts, doesn't it?" he said softly. "I didn't say it would be easy Gab - but I did say that it needed to be done. You owe it to yourself."
"I know," I whispered.
"Feeling better?" he asked me.
"A little, I guess," I answered.
"Okay - here - take some tylenol," he told me, handing me a few caplets. Doing as he said, I swallowed the pills and then handed him back the glass.
"You'll be okay," he said, reaching a hand down to pull me up. Taking his hand, I gave him my best I'm-glad-you're-sure-because-I'm-damn-sure-not look and walked back into my bedroom.
"Gab?" he asked me.
"What?"
"Here - change your shirt," he told me, handing me a new nightshirt from one of my drawers. Turning away from him, I removed my top and pulled the fresh one over my head quickly.
"Time to sleep," he told me, pulling the covers back to let me inside.
"Matt?" I murmured up at him.
"What?" he asked, smiling down at me.
"Thank you," I whispered to him.
"Any time," he told me, leaning down and gently kissing me on the forehead. "Go to sleep now - we'll talk in the morning, okay?"
Shutting off the light on his way out, he paused to glance back inside one last time before shutting the door with a worried look on his face.
"Where are you Chris?" he asked himself
The next morning I awoke wishing I'd mercifully died in my sleep. Clutching a hand to my forehead, I weakly called for Matt to bring me some more tylenol. Coming to my rescue with a glass of water and the pain reliever, he asked me softly if I'd like some breakfast. Gagging involuntarily, I promptly answered his question with my reply and he winced in apology. He then brought me another cool cloth to rest on my forehead before leaving me to sleep a bit more.
When I awoke a few hours later I was somewhat coherent, and my brain didn't feel like it was oozing out of my ear canals. Shuffling my way into the living room, I found him sitting on the couch with the kittens, eating a bowl of cereal and watching television with the sound almost muted out completely.
Thanking him quietly for all that he had done for me, he smiled up at me endearingly and I laughed at him, reaching down to swipe at a drop of milk that had run down his chin. We sat and talked for a few hours, and I opened up my heart to him, sharing once more all that had happened and all my bottled up feelings and emotions. He reiterated what he had told me the previous evening, and I had miraculously remembered it all, my soused state notwithstanding.
Matt left later that day, dropping me off at the bar so that I could retrieve my car before continuing onto the airport. Giving him a hug and a kiss goodbye, I thanked him for the umpteenth time for his gift of friendship.
"So Chris is headed out to Japan later this month, huh?" he asked me.
"Yep," I said, looking up at him and squinting somewhat uncomfortably from the light of the sun.
"Are you going to miss him?" he asked.
"Of course I'll miss him! What kind of question is that bud? I always miss him when he goes - when any of you guys go anywhere for that matter," I said.
"I think he'll miss you too - in the way that you do when you're apart from someone you really care about," he told me softly.
"Well, I care about him too," I replied.
"Gab, I mean ... nevermind," he said, bending forward to give me one last hug. "Take care of yourself - and lay off the drinkin' will ya?"
"Scout's honor," I told him with a laugh while crossing my fingers quickly behind my back. "Take care of both you and Jeff. Can you do me a favor? Have Chris call me okay?"
"I'll relay the message," he said, walking back to his car. "Love ya sis,"
"Love you too Matt. Bye!" Getting into my car, I drove back to the apartment.
**********TWO MONTHS LATER***********
Two months had passed with no word from Chris. I picked up his mail for him once a week and checked his apartment at that time as well, making sure that everything was as it should be.
Later that week I got a phone call from Matt letting me know that he, Jeff and Chris would be meeting up in Atlanta and then heading back to town together. I made the usual plans with Matt for him and Jeff to stay with me during their visit.
I had heard neither hide nor hair from Scott during this time, and that was just fine with me. He was an incredible person, of that there was no denying. Part of me hoped that at some time in the future we could be friends again, if that were possible. More often than not, once the bridge of intimacy had been crossed between friends, there was no turning back. It was often almost impossible to be merely friends with someone you had once been lovers with.
Early Sunday morning Chris, Matt and Jeff arrived back into town. I was up and playing with the kittens when I heard the knock at my door. Opening it, I smiled at them in greeting and welcomed them inside. We shared breakfast together that morning and visited for awhile, listening with rapt attention to all the stories that Chris had to share with us about his visit to Japan. It was so good to see Chris once more and I kept looking over and smiling at him, thinking about how much I'd missed him while he'd been gone.
The kittens, needless to say, were thrilled with the visitors and were basking once more in the glow of unending love and affection. Little Sasha had made her way over to Jeff as soon as he'd sat down on the couch, and evidently remembered him by the way she had promptly deposited herself in his lap and looked up at him, purring. "You're a flirt," I whispered to her, bending down to kiss her on top of her head. Griffin was happy to have Matt around to play fetch with him, and dove tirelessly after the small ball that Matt threw down the hallway. That cat had a canine complex. He evidently thought he was one - granted he was black, but still no labrador retriever.
Later that morning Chris left for home, after disappearing somewhat mysteriously outside to talk to Matt for a few minutes. Before leaving he invited me over to have dinner at his place that night. Looking at Matt and Jeff, I asked them if they would be joining us and they grinned back and declined, saying that they wanted to rent a few videos and enjoy slothing around for once.
I told Chris that I'd meet him at his place at 7 that evening, and looked at him with slight puzzlement when he told me to wear something warm. I then saw him to the door and told him that I looked forward to seeing him again that night.
I needed to go grocery shopping and told the guys that I would be back in a little while. Matt asked if he could tag along and I told him sure thing, and we left shortly thereafter. After shopping and picking up some things that we both needed, we stopped at the video store and Matt picked out some videos that he and Jeff had missed seeing. I couldn't help but laugh when I saw the huge stack in his hands, pointing out that it must have been awhile indeed since they'd last rented any videos or been to the movies for that matter. He asked me to stop off at the ATM on the way home and I did so. "Pizza money," he explained, grinning back at me.
We arrived back home and managed to lug everything inside. As we walked through the door, we saw Sasha lying on her back in Jeff s lap, her back feet curled up and eyes closed in pure bliss as Jeff softly blew onto her belly and gently stroked her fur. I told him that he'd better plan on being a regular visitor, or she'd soon become impossible to live with, with him spoiling her like that.
Soon it was time to leave and meet Chris at his place. Remembering what he had told me, I wore a light sweater and jeans per his instructions. Matt saw me to the door, and grinned when he told me not to hurry home. Telling him and Jeff to have fun as well, they promised to feed the cats that night for me.
I knocked on Chris' door and was told to come in. Walking inside, the first thing I noticed was how dark the entryway was. It was also very cold inside.
"Chris?" I said, looking around for him.
"Close your eyes," he told me quietly, waiting until I did so before leading me by the hand towards his living room. "Are they closed? Don't open them until I tell you to," he repeated once more.
"Okay," I said. "Hey - why is it so cold in here?"
"Air conditioning," he said, laughing. Shaking my head in bemusement, I followed him for a short while before stopping when he told me to. What was that smell? I could swear that I smelled spiced apples mixed with smoke. Sure enough, I heard the crackling of a fire and even felt the warmth from the flames.
Feeling him pulling away from me, I stood still and then felt him grip my hips with his hands. Allowing him to pull me down, I suddenly found myself sitting on something soft and knew that we were in front of his fireplace.
"Okay - you can open your eyes now," he told me happily. Looking around, to my amazement I saw that we were indeed sitting in front of his fireplace that was crackling merrily from the warm fire within. Up above the fireplace hung two red Christmas stockings, each one with our name on them. To our left was a large Christmas tree, brightly decorated and glowing with twinkling, multicolored lights. The lights from the tree and the fireplace, along with several candles, were all that lit up the room.
"Chris, what is all of this?" I asked him as I looked around in wonderment.
"It's Christmas in May," he laughed.
"I've heard of Christmas in July, but..."
"Work with me here, Gab," he murmured into my ear softly. Smiling, I turned around and hugged him, thanking him for the surprise. Smiling back, he handed me a mug of hot chocolate.
"This is an amazing surprise - thank you so much," I said, smiling at him.
"Just call me Mr. Spontaneity," he replied with a grin.
"Spontaneous? I guess so! Where did you get all of this stuff?"
"Out of my storage room," he replied. "And the restaurant helped me out with the rest."
"Restaurant?" I asked him.
"Yeah - wait here for a minute okay?" Getting up, he made his way over to the dining room table and lit the long white and red candles that were sitting in the silver candelabra in the middle of the table.
Walking back over to me, he held out his hand and then pulled me to my feet. "Let's eat," he said. Escorting me to the table, I sat down after he pulled out my chair for me and fingered appreciatively the beautiful fine white linen of the tablecloth and napkins in wonderment.
"Do you like it?" he asked me anxiously.
"Oh yes," I told him with a smile. Lifting the lid off of a silver tureen, he served us both bowls of lemon rice soup. We then proceeded to enjoy a traditional ham dinner together.
When our meal was finished, I rose up and began to clear off the table. Chris stopped me, telling me to wait for a moment. Walking over to his cd player, I was amazed to hear Aaron Neville's Christmas cd begin to play.
"May I have this dance?" he asked, standing over by the Christmas tree and holding out his hand to me.
Feeling somewhat flustered I walked over to him and took his hand, and we began to dance in front of the tree.
"Aaron Neville?" I giggled, no longer able to contain myself "Yep," he replied to me with a grin.
"I might have expected a Christmas album from Iron Maiden or Metallica from you, but Aaron
Neville?"
"Well, I know you like this cd so that's what I picked for tonight."
"How did you know that?" I asked him curiously, feeling him slide his arms around my waist.
"Cause I lifted it from your place," he told me with a mischievous wink.
Tossing my head back, I laughed uproariously at his antics.
"Has anyone ever told you that you're crazy Jerky?" I asked him.
"Crazy for you," he replied softly, a serious expression falling over his face while he looked deeply into my eyes.
Rendered speechless for once in my life, my mouth opened slightly in surprise.
"C'mere," he said softly, pulling me closer to him. Resting my head against his chest, I felt the strong and steady beating of his heart while breathing in the soft yet heady spicy scent of his cologne. One of his hands remained around my waist while the other slid slowly up my back to cup the back of my head gently.
Pulling my head back for a moment to look up at him, I whispered, "Thank you so much, Chris."
"Your very welcome Gab," he murmured back to me, bringing his hand around to touch my face gently while stroking my cheek softly with his thumb. The lights from the tree cast various hues of soft color across his face.
Looking down into my eyes, he suddenly grew serious once more and then slowly leaned down, pressing his lips to mine gently for a moment before pulling back.
"Chris?" I asked him.
"Shhh..." he replied, bringing his head down towards me once more. Closing my eyes, I felt his lips moving softly against mine. Slowly opening my mouth under his, I felt his tongue tentatively tracing the inside of my lower lip very lightly. Sighing, I ran my hands up from his shoulders to encircle his neck. Groaning softly in response, he cupped either side of my jaw gently with his palms while kissing me with increasing passion. When we finally ended the kiss we were both flushed and breathless.
"Wow," I whispered.
"Wow is right," he replied, grinning down at me. "Let's go sit down and enjoy the fire for awhile."
Walking over hand in hand to the fireplace, we sank down onto the large fluffy blankets that were placed on the floor in front of it. Seating myself in front of Chris between his open legs, I felt him raise his knees upward so that I could lean back against his chest.
"Comfy?" he asked me.
"You betcha," I said, sighing with contentment.
"Good," he replied, leaning down and brushing his lips lightly upon the back of my neck.
We sat enjoying the fire for an indeterminate amount of time before I felt my body gradually relaxing. Soon my eyelids became so heavy that I simply couldn't keep them open any longer.
"Chris," I mumbled to him.
"What love?" he asked me.
"I'm tired," I murmured.
"Then sleep," he whispered, pressing my head down gently to rest upon his shoulder.
I slept.
When I awoke the next morning, we were cuddled together in front of the now chilly fireplace. My head was pillowed on Chris' chest and his arms encircled me with their warmth. Tossing the blanket covering us aside, I made my way down the hall and shut off the air conditioning.
When Chris drove me home it was 7 a.m. Kissing him goodbye, he told me that he'd be over to my place later on that day. Thanking him once more for the magical evening, I made my way up to the apartment and snuck in so that I wouldn't wake up the guys. I quietly made my way to my bedroom and then grabbed a change of clothing before showering. Walking into the kitchen after I was dressed, I put on a pot of coffee.
"Must have been some date," a voice said over my shoulder, making me jump in surprise. Whirling around, I saw Matt leaning against the counter, grinning back at me.
"Yeah it was - I had fun," I told him as casually as I could.
"You must have - it was an all nighter," he said, laughing at me when my cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
"He was a gentleman - we just cuddled in front of the fireplace," I told him.
"Sure ... that's how those Canadians get to have such large families you know," he snickered at me.
"Matthew Hardy!" I admonished him.
"Okay, I'll stop," he grinned.
Telling him about the events of the previous evening, he wasn't the least bit fazed by the Christmas in May idea.
"Who do you think gave Chris the idea?" he told me.
"Well thank you then," I told Matt, smiling at him.
****************************************************************************
Sitting in a bar somewhere in North Carolina, Scott Levy took a look around at his fellow companions that were sharing this lonely Saturday night with him. Trouble was, not all of them looked lonely - and those who did surely couldn't match the pain that he felt deep down in his soul. A deep fissure had permanently etched itself into the confines within, one that neither time nor love would ever heal.
Leaning back in his chair, he brought his hands up to rub the tired sting out of his eyes. Blinking slowly, he let out a deep sigh and then signaled the waitress over to bring him his check for his dinner. If there was ever a night that had challenged his sobriety, this would have to qualify as the one.
Hearing the jukebox began to play yet another sad "my wife left me, I lost my job and my dog died" tune, he stared at the empty chair across from him. Closing his eyes, he soon felt himself pulled unwillingly into the song that had begun to play.
"So I'll be leavin' this house without you
That's the last thing I thought I'd ever do
How could we come so far and be so close
And have such a distant point of view
I won't stand here and cry over differences
I won't say things I'll regret
I'll be on my way with this broken heart
But the memories I'll caress
Darlin', would you honor this last request?
Let's take one last drive, just one last time
And go up on old lover's hill
Let's take one last look at those city lights
Like the first time we came up here and learned how to feel
Let's take one last look at those stars that shine
I remember how it was still
Then let me take one long lasting look at your face
Give me one last kiss
One last thrill
Then I'd be happy and I'd take you home
You wouldn't even have to ask me in
By then I'll be like a stranger baby
But I'll walk you to the door like a gentleman
And I'll drive away and I won't be back
It doesn't matter which way I go
I'll always be on a one-way street
Always down a dead-end road
I will always love you that's all I know
Let's take one last drive, just one last time
And go up on old lover's hill
Let's take one last look at those city lights
Like the first time we came up here and learned how to feel
Let's take one last look at those stars that shine
I remember how it was still
Then let me take one long lasting look at your face,
Give me one last kiss,
One last thrill
Just let me take one long lasting look at your face... give me one last kiss ... one last thrill"
"Sir?"
Shaking himself out of his daydream, Scott turned his attention to the waitress and signed the credit card receipt that she handed to him.
"You're Raven, aren't you?"
Smiling up at her somewhat wryly, he nodded yes.
"I love your wrestling - you're one of the best. It's such an honor to meet you," she bubbled enthusiastically at him. Planting a plastic smile on his face, Scott thanked her before quickly exiting the bar. Opening the door to his rental car, he seated himself inside before reaching into his back pocket to pull out his wallet. Opening it up, he gazed down at a picture close up of a smiling Gabrielle sitting in a field of wildflowers. It was a picture that she had given him during one of his last visits.
"Gab," he murmured softly, caressing the photo gently with his thumb. "I'm so sorry - I'm such an ass."
Closing the wallet, he started his car and then drove off towards his hotel. Walking upstairs to his room, he opened the door and sat on the bed contemplating silently for a moment before reaching for the phone.
Picking up the receiver, he dialed Gabrielle's number and waited for a moment before he heard her sunny voice saying hello. Sitting silently for a second, he sighed heavily before hanging up.
"I love you Gab," he murmured to the wall opposite him.
****************************************************************************
Later that morning I went for a walk, feeling the need to reflect on and absorb the events of the last 24 hours. Telling Matt and Jeff that I was going to go to the park a few blocks away, I left and made my way outside, enjoying the warmth and sunshine of the day.
Taking a seat under a shady tree, I looked up at the clouds dotting the blue sky above. Leaning my head back against the tree and closing my eyes, I breathed in the fresh air deeply and tried to clear my head.
What had happened? The date - yes, I suppose it would qualify as an official "date" with Chris had been wonderful. He had gone to considerable effort with his surprise and I was deeply
touched. When he had kissed me, it had felt good - but more than that, it had somehow felt right. Something inside had clicked, and in some way a part of life had seemed to come full circle.
So why was I so afraid? His friendship meant far too much to me to gamble it away on a passing fling, that was why. I was scared of taking a chance with him. What if it didn't work out between us? I was already mourning the loss of Scott - and I had known Chris longer and we shared a deeper level of friendship then Scott and I had shared before our involvement.
"But what if..." a voice nagged me. "What if this is right, it will work, and it'll be the best thing that ever happened to you?"
I was still scared though. There was no guarantee, and I felt as if I was standing at the edge of the cliff of life knowing that I had to jump, yet afraid to do so --I'd always been the type to scoot my way down a hillside rather than run down full tilt, thank you very much.
Absorbed in my thoughts, I didn't notice Chris making his way across the park in my direction. "Hi there," he said, plopping himself down alongside me. "Penny for your thoughts?"
"Hello yourself," I smiled back at him.
Reaching his hand out to me, he gently brushed the bangs out of my eyes. Averting my eyes from his suddenly, I looked out towards the children that were playing on the slides on the other side of the park.
"What is it Gab?" he asked me quietly.
Sighing, I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my chin upon them. "We need to talk Chris," I told him softly.
"What is it?" he repeated once more, laying a gentle hand upon my shoulder.
"What's happening here?" I asked him. "With us I mean."
Sitting silently for a moment, Chris finally turned back towards me.
"I love you Gab," he said to me so quietly that at first I didn't think I'd heard him correctly. "I've always loved you."
"Chris, I..."
"Please, just listen to me for a moment okay? I know what happened between you and Scott, and I know that you were hurt. You're still hurting. I'm not here to pressure or to make demands on you. I'll give you all the time and space you need. I'm just asking that when you're ready at some point, will you think about taking a chance with me?"
Chris and I spent the next few hours at the park talking quietly and sharing our thoughts and feelings with one another. I told him that I needed time before jumping into another relationship, although what Scott and I had shared together could hardly qualify as such. He said that he understood, and once again told me that he'd give me all the space that I needed - his only request was that we both be honest and open with one another about our thoughts, feelings and expectations.
With the communication guideline firmly established, we made our way back to my apartment. Matt and Jeff told us that they were in the mood to go swimming, and asked if we'd like to join them. Telling them yes, I changed into my swimsuit and threw on a pair of shorts over it before leaving the apartment with them shortly thereafter, Chris following right behind us. We drove over to Chris' place and set up camp down at the poolside in his apartment complex. It wasn't too long before we were all in the water, laughing and playing like kids and taking turns joyfully dunking one another underwater. Jeff, Matt and Chris soon felt their male competitive spirit surface and before too long were trying to outdo one another's dives on the diving board. I stayed away from the action, and swam back and forth across the pool instead, gliding about leisurely and enjoying the warmth of the day.
I wasn't paying any attention and suddenly found myself rudely grabbed by the legs and yanked underwater. Sputtering slightly as I surfaced, I splashed water in a somewhat indignant fashion towards my attacker, who turned out to be Jeff of all people.
"Just wanted to make sure you were awake," he giggled to me before gliding off through the water with long smooth strokes, headed no doubt back towards the diving board.
"Hey Gab - watch this!" Chris called out. Looking behind me, I caught a glimpse of him attempting what looked to be a cannonball and soon turned out to be a belly flop. Howling in pain, he pulled himself up onto the cement by the pool and motioned to the others that his diving was done for the day.
Getting out of the pool, I walked over to sit beside him. "Hey there - that was quite a flop - you okay?"
"Yeah," he breathed heavily at me, laughing a bit at his misfortune. "It happens every
now and then - oh well - damn - do those guys ever run out of energy?" he asked, pointing at Matt and Jeff.
"Nope," I told him with a smile. "Guess not -just tell Jeff not to get too wild, will you? He makes me nervous sometimes - I don't want him to get hurt."
"Yes Mom," Chris laughed, reaching over to pinch my nose between his thumb and forefinger.
"Stop that," I giggled at him, swatting his hand away from my nose.
I'm just kidding - you'll make a wonderful mother someday," Chris told me, leaning forward to kiss my cheek. Blushing slightly, I scooted away from him and then rose back up to my feet.
"You ready to go inside?" Chris asked me.
"Sure am! I'm starving!" I told him. Turning to Matt and Jeff, I called out to them that we were leaving to go inside and get a bite of lunch. Leaving the pool to follow us, it was seconds later that Jeff came rushing around the corner chasing after Matt for stealing his towel. "Give me back my towel!" Jeff hollered to Matt playfully.
I had momentarily turned to look at something when either Jeff or Matt ran into me, knocking me down onto the cement. A sharp pain wrenched through my ankle as it twisted beneath me, and I heard a loud popping noise as I went down. Clutching my ankle with my hand, the next thing I knew was that I was in extreme pain and surrounded by too many bodies.
"Are you okay?" Chris asked me worriedly.
"No," I gasped out to him, still clutching my ankle. "Go away," I told him. "Just give me a second, okay?"
"Gab I'm sorry," Jeff and Matt both chorused together, leaning down with Chris to attempt to examine my ankle.
"Don't touch it!" I yelled at them as I felt them begin to gently prod at my ankle, intense pain shooting its way up my leg. "Just leave me alone and I'll be okay! Go on without me!" I told them. Turning away from them, I clenched my jaw together so tightly that I thought I'd break
it.
"Let me help you up Gab," Chris told me, getting to his feet and then leaning down to grasp me under the arms to pull me up. Slowly rising to my feet, I leaned on Chris and put an arm around his neck before taking a tentative step forward. Big mistake. Huge. I let out a sharp scream of pain and then began to collapse.
"I gotcha," Chris said, hooking his arms under my shoulders and knees and lifting my body up in his arms, cradling me to his chest. "Jeff - my key's in my shirt pocket - go get my car would you? We need to get her to the hospital."
"I'm not going anywhere," I panted out at him. "I just need some ice okay? Let's go up to your place."
"You need to have this looked at," Matt told me quietly. "Your ankle is already very swollen -can you move it at all?"
"Nope," I told him, gritting my teeth in reaction to the pain once more. I felt sweat breaking out along my brow from my efforts at keeping quiet.
"That's what I was afraid of. Hey Jeff! Bring his car around to the front okay?" Matt called out to his brother.
Jeff pulled Chris' blazer around before hurrying out to hold open the rear door for us. "Matt, take her for a moment would you?" Chris asked, handing me over to Matt before getting into the backseat. Matt held me for a moment and waited for Chris to get himself settled in. "Okay," Chris said, motioning for Matt to bring me over to him. Carefully putting me inside, he laid me across Chris' lap before getting into the passenger seat.
"It'll just be a moment, hang on," Chris murmured to me, kissing me gently on the forehead and then looking down at me worriedly.
"I'm not on my deathbed - don't look at me like that," I told him, crying out in pain as my injured foot inadvertently hit the seat in front of me.
"It's okay," he told me once more, wrapping his arms tightly around me as I began to shiver from the cold air that was flooding through the car's interior. "Hey Jeff - turn off the air conditioning would you?" he asked him. Giving Jeff directions to the hospital, we were soon there in minutes. Thankfully the emergency room wasn't too busy and I didn't have to wait too long before I was seen.
"Yep - clean break," the doctor told me after looking at my x-rays. "Let's get this ankle set and then get you into a cast," he told me. Bracing myself, I couldn't help but cry out in pain as my ankle was re-set. After that the cast was applied and I was given a pair of crutches and told to stay off my feet completely for the next few days. After making a follow up appointment with the doctor, I hobbled out into the waiting room to see Jeff, Matt and Chris staring up at me somewhat anxiously.
"Damn - I'm so sorry Gab," Matt said, looking at me so mournfully that I couldn't help but smile a bit. "Me too," Jeff echoed, walking forward to try and help me. "It'll be okay - I'll mend," I told them, wincing slightly from the waves of pain that were still traveling up and down my leg. "I need to get some pain pills at the pharmacy - can you stop there on the way home?"
"Sure thing," Chris said, taking my crutches from me and handing them to Jeff before picking me up once more to take me back out to his car. Settling ourselves once more into the backseat, Jeff drove us to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription before we headed off to my place.
Back at my apartment, Chris laid me down onto the couch in the living room and told the guys that he'd be back in awhile. Telling Matt and Jeff not to hover over me, I tried to immerse myself in a movie to take my mind off of the pain of my ankle. Chris came back before too much longer, bringing pizza for their dinner and movies for us all to watch. Looking at his overnight bag suspiciously, he beat me to the punch before I could even open my mouth to protest.
"Look - I'm staying here tonight okay?" he told me. "You have enough room - you'll be in your bedroom and the rest of us can take the guest room and the couches out here," he said.
"Okay," I said quietly, not in the mood for a fight. Feeling somewhat woozy from the painkillers, I tried to get up from the couch and wasn't able to. Noticing my struggle, Chris came over and asked me what I needed. Telling him that I needed to go to the bathroom, he picked me up and carried me down the hallway.
"Chris - I can use the crutches," I told him as he toted me down the hall.
"Doctor told you to stay off your feet for a few days didn't he?" Chris answered.
"Yes he did," I sighed. "I need to go to the bathroom -just -just open the door for me okay?" I told him, my face flaming with embarrassment.
"It's okay," he told me quietly. "You need help in there? I'll help you out, I don't mind," he said.
"You mean help me wipe? I don't think so!" I told him, hobbling over to the toilet before telling him to shut the door. "I'll let you know when I'm ready."
After I had finished, I washed my hands and then kept hold of the sink for balance while opening the door. "I'm gonna lay down for awhile," I told Chris as he brought me over to my bed.
"Call me if you need anything," he told me, setting me down gently onto the bed. "Okay," I said. The medication quickly taking effect, I soon fell asleep and didn't notice Chris bringing in a blanket to cover me up with before settling himself down carefully onto the bed beside me, taking care to lay next my good side.
I slept.
Sometime during the night I awoke in excruciating pain. Gasping quietly, I struggled to sit up in bed and fumbled about for my crutches in the dark.
"What is it Gab?" Chris asked, suddenly sitting up next to me. Somewhat startled by his sudden presence, I told him that I needed to take another pain pill and was thirsty.
"Stay here," he told me, walking down the hallway to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Coming back into the room with the water and pills, he handed them to me silently and waited while I drank the water down.
"You want some more water?" he asked me.
"No," I whispered, leaning back onto the bed and closing my eyes in pain.
"I'm sorry this happened Gab," Chris murmured to me, settling down once more beside me. "Me too Jerky," I mumbled back to him. Turning over onto his side, he reached out to softly caress my cheek with his fingers.
"How am I going to drive? Run my errands? Go to school? Function at all?" I asked him in a frustrated whisper.
"I'll help you out, don't worry," he told me. Turning my head towards him, I looked up into his eyes and smiled my thanks.
"That's okay Chris but you can't be here all the time," I told him.
"I'm not going back to the WWF for another month or so. I have some time off," he replied to me, reaching a hand out to stifle a yawn. "So don't worry okay? Everything will take care of itself," he said, settling his body down beside me once more and then drawing a blanket up over the both of us. Fumbling for my hand in the darkness, he squeezed it reassuringly before lifting it to his lips for a quick kiss.
"Go to sleep sweetie," he mumbled to me.
As soon as the medication took effect, I did.
The next morning I awoke feeling grungy, sore and tired - like I'd been hit by a mack truck. Hobbling my way over to the shower, I managed to turn the faucet on and then remembered that I wasn't supposed to get my cast wet. How the hell was I supposed to bathe? Sighing, I turned off the showerhead and decided to take a bath instead. When the bathtub was filled with bubble bath and ready to go, I awkwardly removed my clothing and then sunk into the tub, taking care to dangle my leg over the edge of the tub.
"Gab? Are you okay?" a voice called out to me from the other side of the door.
"I guess," I muttered back.
"Let me know if you need anything alright?"
"I will," I called out to Chris. A short while later I heard a knock at the door, and Chris entered carrying a cup of coffee for me.
"Morning sunshine," he said cheerily to me. "You managing okay?"
"I guess, for being new at this," I mumbled back.
"Matt's making breakfast for all of us right now - let me know when you're done with your bath and I'll help you okay?" he told me.
"I can manage, thanks anyway," I told him.
"Well, I'll be in the living room - call if you need me," he said, walking out of the bathroom and closing the door behind him.
After I had wallowed in the tub a good deal longer I finally decided that it was time to get out. Pulling myself up on one leg I reached for my towel and wrapped it around my body before attempting to get out of the tub somewhat gingerly. I failed miserably.
As soon as he heard my yell, I heard footsteps running towards the bathroom before the door burst open.
"I told you to call me Gab!" Chris huffed at me.
"I'll be fine -just let me do this okay?" I told him, reaching stubbornly for my crutches and managing to completely lose my balance in the process. Tumbling forward, Chris managed to catch me at the last minute before I put any pressure onto my injured ankle. Rewrapping my now dislodged towel around my body once more, he turned me around so that I was facing him.
"Stay still," he told me firmly, picking me up and then carrying me into the bedroom, stopping first to shut the bedroom door. "What are you wearing today?"
"Something easy," I muttered to him.
Setting me down onto the bed, he fumbled about through my dresser drawers, finding a pair of underwear, a bra, tank top and shorts for me to put on.
"Sit up," he said, walking over towards me with the clothes in hand.
"I can dress myself Chris," I told him quietly.
"That remains to be seen," he told me, hands placed on his hips and his chin set stubbornly.
"Out!" I yelled to him. "I mean it!"
"Okay, okay..." he said, walking towards the door. The bra and the tank top were a breeze - the underwear and shorts another matter entirely. After I had finally managed to pull my underwear on I struggled with the shorts and eventually managed to get those on as well.
"Are you decent?" Chris called out to me.
"Yes," I sighed wearily.
"Stay where you're at," he told me for the seeming zillionth time that morning, walking over to grab my comb. Sitting himself behind me on the bed, he reached for my hair and began to gently comb it out. When the task was completed, he brought me into the living room to lay on the couch.
"Morning," Jeff told me, walking over my way with Sasha riding on top of his shoulder. "How are you feeling?"
"Just peachy keen," I told him, a terse smile plastered on my face.
"Here you go," Matt called out, walking into the living room with a tray and setting it onto my lap. "You need to have some breakfast."
Some breakfast? That man had fixed me three eggs, 4 pieces of bacon, 4 pieces of sausage, 2 pieces of toast, a mound of hashbrowns and placed a large glazed donut on the side.
"I can't eat all of this," I protested to him.
"You'll eat it and you'll do so while it's still hot," he told me briskly, sitting beside me and lifting up the knife and fork to cut a piece of sausage off. "Open up," he told me, leaning forward with the sausage dangling on the fork. "C'mon..." He coaxed. "Do we have to play airplane?"
"Enough!" I bellowed, snatching the fork from his grasp. "I can feed myself - I'm not a complete invalid!"
Smiling back at Chris and Jeff, Matt walked back into the kitchen to fix himself a plate before joining the rest of us in the living room. We finished breakfast together and then later that afternoon Matt and Jeff left for the airport.
"Bye," I told them, reaching my arms up from my command center on the couch to give them each a hug goodbye. "Take care."
"You too," they each told me, looking down at me with a frown.
"It's okay - I'll be fine," I told them.
"You'll help her out?" Matt asked Chris.
Nodding yes in his direction, Chris told me that he'd be back in a little while.
"Chris, you don't need to come back..." I told him, stopping mid sentence when I saw the stubborn look in his eyes.
"Okay then," I told him resignedly. Waving once more to Matt and Jeff, I settled back on the couch and flipped restlessly through a magazine.
"Damn," I muttered to myself "Why me?"
The next day Chris left my apartment to do some grocery shopping and to pick up a prescription refill that I needed. I lay on the couch in utter misery, sick to my stomach from the pain medication that I'd been taking. I hadn't eaten anything yet that day, and was beginning to feel the effects. My blood sugar tried to remind me a few times in its own subtle fashion that it needed attention, but I didn't listen.
I heard a knock at the door and wondered why Chris hadn't used his key to unlock it. Thinking that he needed me to hold open the door for him, I struggled to my feet and hobbled over to the door on one crutch, my stomach lurching all the while and feeling dizzy. Opening it up, I noticed with considerable shock that Scott was standing in front of me.
"Hello Gab," he told me quietly, looking down with a frown at my ankle. "What happened?"
"Broke it," I responded, turning away from the door and attempting to hobble back to the couch. To my embarrassment, I somehow managed to hook my crutch on the end table and almost ended up flying.
Scott rushed forward and quickly caught me before I fell. Pushing the crutches impatiently to the side, he swung me up into his arms and then headed for the couch, taking a seat while keeping me on his lap. Attempting to move away from him, my efforts were thwarted when I felt his arms tighten themselves around me.
"Uh oh," I whispered, as a strong surge of dizziness shot through my system. Suddenly feeling light headed and weak, my vision quickly became tunneled and a fuzzy gray around the edges. Feeling my heartbeat quicken and my skin become cold and clammy, I leaned my head back and breathed shallowly.
"Gabrielle?" Scott asked me worriedly. "Are you alright?"
"No," I murmured back to him. "Listen - there's a can of coke in the
refrigerator - bring it to me now," I said so softly to him that he had to bend forward to hear me.
Setting me aside, he walked into the kitchen and retrieved the coke and brought it to me. By now I was lying flat on my back on the couch, not having the strength to sit upright. I motioned him closer.
"I can't get up - please help me," I murmured, my hand shaking visibly as it reached for the coke. Sitting beside me and pulling me back into his lap, Scott supported my back with his arm and brought the coke to my lips. After drinking several deep swallows, I told him that I was finished with it, and asked him to bring me some cheese and crackers from the kitchen. After eating something and then waiting for a few minutes, my blood sugar normalized and my head gradually cleared.
"That was my hypoglycemia rearing its ugly head," I muttered to Scott. Sighing softly, he pulled me closer into his lap and held me tightly to his chest, pressing my head into his shoulder.
"I'm sorry baby," he whispered to me. "What happened to your ankle?"
I told him my sad injury story and he listened in silence. I then asked him what he was doing here.
"I'm here to see you," he answered, tilting my chin up with his thumb so that I was looking up at him. Averting my eyes from his, he asked me softly to look at him.
"I'm sorry Gabrielle - I was an asshole and I ... well I'm sorry. I love you," he murmured before leaning down to kiss me softly.
" Scott I..."
"Shhh..." he told me, enfolding me tightly into his embrace once more. Closing my eyes, my brain struggled to comprehend the situation that was unfolding in front of me.
Hearing a noise at the door I opened my eyes as I heard a key unlocking it from the outside. Chris walked in through the door, setting a few bags down in the entryway and turned around to call out to me, freezing in his tracks when he saw Scott and I sitting together on the couch.
"Scott - what are you doing here?" Chris asked him, the surprise apparent in his voice. "I came to see Gab - good thing that I did too," Scott responded.
Walking into the kitchen with the bags, Chris put some things away before joining us once more in the living room.
"I'm helping her out until she gets back on her feet," Chris explained to Scott, taking a seat on the other couch.
"So you're the one taking care of her? You need to do a better job - when I got here she had a hypoglycemic reaction - when's the last time she ate anything? Didn't you fix her anything to eat today?"
"I'm here you know," I told Scott in an annoyed tone. "You can address all of this to me. I didn't eat anything today because my stomach's been upset due to the painkillers - this isn't Chris' fault!"
"Since when do you care so much?" Chris retorted back, leaning forward to rivet his attention solely on Scott. "You do nothing but upset her anymore - do you enjoy making her miserable? Why don't you just leave her alone? She doesn't need anymore of your bullshit in her life right now."
"Since when would you know what she needs? I think she needs me," Scott said, the anger welling up in his voice. "And I'll be here for her - besides, the last time I checked, this was none of your business."
"I love her, and that makes this my business," Chris replied softly to him.
"So that's what this is all about! You know something Jericho, you..."
"Enough! Stop it!" I told both of them. "Take your cock fight outside okay? Just leave me out of it!"
Trying to get up from Scott's lap, his arms tightened possessively around me before I asked him quietly to let me go. Complying with my request, Chris then walked over to help me up and asked me what I needed.
"Chris, can I see you alone for a minute?" I asked him. Nodding yes, he tried to help me down the hall but I refused his assistance. Turning around to Scott, I told him that I'd be right back. Entering my bedroom, I told Chris to shut the door after him and then took a seat on my bed.
"What's going on here Gab?" Chris asked me.
"Chris, I need some time alone with Scott okay? I need to talk to him," I told him quietly.
Taking a deep breath, Chris ran his fingers through his hair and turned away from me momentarily. "I see. I understand, really - it's okay," he told me.
"Can you come back later?" I asked him. "I'm sorry Chris - I just need to clear the air here," I told him.
"Okay, I understand. I'll come back in a few hours."
"Thanks Chris," I told him, smiling up at him somewhat tremulously.
Turning around, Chris walked out of the apartment without a word said to Scott. I heard him close the front door behind him.
"Gabrielle?" Scott's voice entered the bedroom. Looking up, I saw him leaning against the doorway, observing me quietly.
"Come here," I told him, patting the bed beside me. "We need to talk."
"Before you say anything Gab, just listen to me okay? I've been afraid of hurt and rejection my whole life - I try to hurt others before they can hurt me - it's the defense mechanism that's allowed me to survive. I never meant the things that I said to you, the feelings that I felt for you were scaring me and I ... I said things I didn't mean and that I deeply regret. I love you. I'm not afraid to say it anymore," Scott told me quietly, looking at me intently all the while.
"Scott, this ... I can't do this right now," I told him, looking away from him. "I'm sorry, but I just can't. Too much has already happened and I'm not saying that I don't care for you deeply - I do - I love you too, and that hasn't changed - I just can't..."
"Why?" he asked me. "Is it Chris?"
"This has nothing to do with Chris," I told him. "This is about me, about what's best for me at this point in my life. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and..."
Leaning forward suddenly, Scott kissed me passionately. Caught up in the magic of his lips moving on mine, I began to respond and pull him closer to me. Realizing a little too late what was happening, I pulled away from him and held my hand out in front of me to give myself some space.
"Please Scott, don't..."
"Do one thing for me okay Gab? Tell me that you didn't feel anything just now. That my kiss didn't have the same effect on you that it did on me. Can you do that?"
Looking away from him, my eyes filled with tears and I bit my lip to stop it from trembling.
"Scott, what I feel and what's ultimately the best thing for me are two different matters entirely. Please respect my feelings - that's what I'm asking right now. I'm your friend and I want to continue being so - but I can't be anymore than that to you."
Sighing, Scott rose up from the bed to stand in front of me. "Okay, I'll leave if that's what you want - all I ask is that you think about this okay? Think about us - and listen to what your heart tells you. I love you, and that's not changing," he told me quietly. Leaning forward to kiss me on the top of my head, he said, "I love you," before turning around to leave. Hearing him close the door after him I covered my face with trembling hands and cried, finally letting loose my pent up emotions now that I was alone.
Why was this happening? Couldn't he leave well enough alone? I knew that I had done the right thing, that nothing had really changed between us - maybe that was part of the reason why my heart felt as if it had just been ripped in two.
Chris came back to my place as promised a few hours later. Walking into the living room, he took a seat next to me on the couch and reached for my hand to hold it tightly.
"Gab, I've been doing some thinking and..."
"And what?" I asked him.
"I know that you love Scott - if he makes you happy and he's who you truly want, then it's not right that I stand in the way and..."
"Chris just listen to me for a moment okay? I'm not getting back together with Scott - I told him that it was over. I hope that we can remain friends but no more than that," I told him quietly.
"Are you sure?" he asked me.
"Yes," I said quietly, avoiding his gaze to look out the window.
"Okay," he said, reaching out to hug me gently. "I'm sorry about all of this mess," he murmured into my hair.
"Me too," I told him.
"Are you okay?" he asked me.
"Yes," I lied to him, looking down into my lap.
Tilting my head up so that I was looking into his eyes, my eyes suddenly filled with tears when I saw the tender expression in his. "It's okay you know," he told me.
Reaching out to him blindly through my tears I felt myself enfolded into his embrace. "Don't worry," he whispered to me as he wiped my tears away. "Whatever happens, I'll always be here for you."
Nodding against him, I took refuge in the haven that his body provided and we sat like that for some time.
'What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive,' I thought quietly to myself
****************************************************************************
True to his word, Chris helped me out unconditionally for the next month. He was loving kindness personified. After what had seemed like an unending amount of time, my cast was finally removed, and my life slowly reverted back to normal. Whatever could qualify as "normal" that is.
I received a few phone calls from Scott during this period of time, inquiring as to my health and in general reminding me that he hadn't faded once more back into the woodwork. He invited me to travel to St. Louis to spend the weekend with him, an offer that I had to decline. He told me that he understood, and continued to stay in touch with me on a regular basis.
Soon it was time for Chris to head back to work, and I realized how much I would miss him when he went. We had grown closer than ever over during this period, and he never pressured me in the slightest way about anything; he was kind, supportive, understanding and loving, almost to a fault.
Chris had been out on the road for about a month when I received a beautiful delivery of flowers one day - a colorful bouquet of orchids and tiger lilies. Opening the accompanying card, I smiled when I saw that they were from Chris. He called that night, wanting to know if I could join him the following weekend in Dallas. Telling me that he'd make all the necessary traveling arrangements and that the airline ticket and hotel reservation were already taken care of, I couldn't help but accept.
He met me at the airport with a grin and a warm hug. Taking me back to the hotel, I saw that my room was down the hall from his and told him that I wanted to put my bags inside before joining him. Before too long I was knocking at his door. I heard a loud chorus of laughter emitting from within and smiled as I recognized Matt and Jeff s voices. Opening the door, I walked inside to see my friends rolling with laughter on the bed while watching a movie on tv.
After greeting each of them, I turned around to see two other men whose acquaintance I'd not yet had the pleasure of making. Chris introduced me to Edge and Christian and we spent the next hour hanging out and visiting with one another.
Their performance wasn't until the next evening, and we debated for awhile about what to do with the night that was ahead of us. Deciding on spending it at the movies, we left fairly early and caught two shows before heading back to the hotel. Crashing once more in Chris' room, we talked until the early morning hours before calling it a night.
I fell asleep in Chris' room, waking up a few hours later and was tiptoeing my way out the door when I heard Chris call out to me, asking me to stay with him. Walking back over to his bed I lay down beside him, cuddling up and that's where I spent the remainder of the night. The next morning I was back in my room to shower and change clothing.
Soon it was time to travel to the arena to prepare for that evening's performance. Tagging along with the guys I was introduced to some more of Chris' friends backstage, and enjoyed meeting some of the people that I had heard so much about. I immediately bonded with Rikishi Phatu, Ron "Farooq" Simmons and D-Von Dudley, three of the nicest gentlemen that anyone could ever hope to meet.
A good time was had by all in lounge area, where a radio was blaring numerous dance tunes and everyone was be-bopping about. Grabbing my hand when "Crocodile Rock" came on, Chris told me that he wanted to try out my ankle and see if I truly was fully recovered. Spinning about in circles with him, I laughed as he spun me away from him and then brought me back in for a dip. Soon the dance was over and I gazed about expectantly, face flushed and eyes sparkling at my new friends.
"May I?" A deep voice said behind me as a finger tapped on my shoulder to get my attention. Turning around to face Farooq, I grinned at him and happily accepted. That man could sure dance! I struggled to keep up with him and failed miserably while we danced to "Runaround Sue". Thanking him for the dance when it was over, I waved Chris away when he tried to have another dance with me and begged some time to recuperate.
Watching the performance that night from backstage on the monitors, I cheered and clapped for everyone. Hearing Chris run his infamous mouth while walking down the ramp, I shook my head in wonder once more at his gift of gab. (No pun intended here readers)
When the performance was over we headed on over to Denny's for a late night meal and then back to the hotel. I was to fly out the next morning to go back home while Chris and the rest of the gang continued on to Los Angeles.
"Thanks for bringing me out here," I told Chris in the elevator on the way up to our floor.
"You're welcome," he grinned at me. "I'm not coming home for another three weeks, and I just couldn't wait that long to see you again."
Smiling at him, I reached out to give him a peck on the cheek.
"Has anyone ever told you that you're the sweetest man ever?" I said, smiling up at him.
"Only you," he grinned back, wiggling his nose at me. "I've missed you Gab."
"Missed you too," I replied, the sincerity apparent in my voice. Looking down at me for a moment, he cupped my face in his hands before kissing me tenderly. Sighing, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. We were lost in our own little world when the elevator door suddenly opened and we heard several voices clearing themselves to get our attention.
"Hello again," I heard Matt chuckle out to us. Turning away from Chris to face him, my face was soon a flaming red and I quickly excused myself, scurrying down the hall. Humming "Love in an Elevator" to himself, Chris followed me. Stopping at my room, I unlocked the door and was about to invite him inside when I saw three heads peering around the elevator door at us, apparently spying to see what would happen next. Looking up and shooing away Matt, Jeff and Edge, I laughed at Chris and then motioned him inside.
Grabbing my pajamas, I changed into them in the bathroom before joining Chris. Sitting
beside him, I snuggled up to him and asked him to stay with me that night.
Waking up the next morning in a cocoon of contentment, I rolled over and dislodged Chris' arm before looking at the clock. Gasping, I quickly shook him and told him that we had a half-hour before we had to leave for the airport. Mumbling somewhat incoherently to himself, he rose up from the bed and headed for the bathroom.
"Chris I need to shower," I told him, pushing past him into the bathroom.
"I know - so do I," he grinned at me. Shaking my finger at him, I couldn't help but laugh when I saw the cute morning hair that he had.
"You use your own shower Jerky," I laughed at him. "I'll meet you over in your room in a few minutes okay? We have to hurry."
"Damn - a man can only try," he muttered, letting himself out the door. "Just wanted to see if you were awake..."
Shaking my head, I quickly stepped into the shower and finished in record time. Gathering all my things together, I met Chris in his room a few minutes later and we then headed out to the airport.
"Please tell Matt and Jeff that I said goodbye," I told him. "And tell everyone that I enjoyed meeting them."
"Okay, okay," he laughed at me. "Hey - you know what? You snore," he said, waiting for my reaction.
"I do not," I argued back good naturedly at him. "You hog the covers though."
"I've been accused of doing that a time or two," he told me.
Arriving at the airport, he saw me off at the gate and promised to call me the next day. Kissing him goodbye quickly, I turned and got onto the plane.
The next three weeks seemed to crawl by, and finally he came home for a few days vacation. Meeting him at the airport, I paced impatiently about until I saw his smiling face emerging from the plane. Waving at him, I waited until he made his way over to me before greeting him properly.
The next few days seemed to fly by so quickly that I barely had time to catch my breath. We spent most of the time together, either at his place or mine. The night before he left, we spent the evening at my place sharing one last dinner.
I was in the middle of fixing a salad when the realization hit me.
I was falling in love with him.
Does this feeling creep up on one gradually or does it just fall on one's head like the apple falling from the proverbial tree of life?
How does one truly measure love? Is there a series of questions to answer, and a score to total at the end to verify if one is truly sincere? What is "romantic" love? Are there different levels of such? What level was I at right now, as opposed to any other relationship that I'd ever had?
'Stop it,' I told myself silently, pushing away the thoughts that would proceed to drive me to insanity during the next few weeks. 'Just have fun tonight and take it one step at a time. You don't need to analyze this right now.'
Finishing our dinner, we settled back on the couch to watch a movie that Chris had rented for the evening. Sitting in front of him, leaning back against his chest, my eyes began to close as I felt him gently massage my neck.
"That feels good," I murmured. Relaxing against him, I was at the edge of sleep when I felt him gently lift the hair up from the back of my neck. Pausing for a moment, his lips soon began to trace along the back of my neck and make their way up the side and over to my earlobe.
"You smell great," he whispered to me. Chills traveling over my skin from the vibration of his lips against my ear, I shivered involuntarily. "Thanks," I replied.
"You're quite welcome," he murmured back to me, losing himself once more in the task at hand.
"You'd better stop that," I warned him as I felt him gently grasp the edge of my earlobe between his teeth.
"Or what?" he asked me.
Turning around to face him, I swiftly straddled his legs. "Turn about is fair play," I responded, leaning forward and proceeding to torment him in much the same manner.
"Gab..." he gasped out while I placed a row of soft kisses under his jaw.
"Yes?" I responded. "You were saying?"
"That ... that... " He sputtered out slightly to me.
"Do I detect a chink in your armor?" I asked him teasingly.
Bringing my mouth back up to his he slashed his lips over mine, greedily drinking in the taste of my mouth while holding my body tightly to his. Realizing a little too late what a dangerous game it was that we were playing, it wasn't long before his hands had run up my shirt and were soon cupping my breasts through the lace of my bra.
"Chris," I gasped out to him.
"What is it love?" he murmured back to me.
"I ... I think..."
"Agreed," he said, reluctantly releasing me and taking in a deep breath. "It's time for me to go home. Are you coming to the airport with me tomorrow?"
"Wouldn't miss it for the world," I told him, getting up off of his lap and heading into the kitchen for a glass of water. I gave him some privacy to collect himself while I took a much-needed break of my own.
Seeing him to the door, I told him that I'd pick him up the next morning at 9 and then we'd head off to the airport.
The next morning I said goodbye to him once more, feeling sad that we hadn't had more time to spend together. Promising that he'd call me as soon as he could, he was off once more.
Stopping off at the library to return a book before going home, I walked up to my apartment and noticed a single red rose lying against my door. Picking it up and looking at it curiously, I saw that there was a note attached to it. Walking inside and putting my purse down, I read the words in front of me.
Tell me -
Do his kisses taste as sweet as mine?
Scott
****************************************************************************
The rest of the week was spent in thoughtful reflection of the events that were unfolding in my life. When had Scott been to my place? What was he talking about when he referred to Chris' kisses? What had he seen or not seen?
Sighing, I gradually became more and more annoyed as I began to feel resentment building inside of me at being spied on. If Scott wanted to discuss something with me, then he knew where to find me. I wasn't going anywhere.
Hold that thought. I was going somewhere. Deciding to act on impulse for once, I called the travel agent before I changed my mind, and booked a flight to Mexico. Now that school was out, I figured that I could use a week of rest and relaxation, just to get away from life in general. I deserved a vacation.
After dropping the kittens off at a boarding house, I was on my way to Mexico the next day. Arriving late in the afternoon at my hotel, I changed into my swimsuit before heading out to the beach to take a dip. Immersing myself into the warm saltwater I sighed in contentment, relaxing my body and enjoying the feeling of the water caressing my skin.
Heading back to the shore I flopped down face first upon my towel and closed my eyes in pleasure at the feeling of the warm afternoon sun upon my skin. I soon felt myself drifting off and was somewhat startled out of my reverie when I realized how late it was getting. Gathering my things together, I made my way back to the room and wallowed in the tub for another hour before calling it a night.
****************************************************************************
Walking along the beach, a figure fell into step with me and clasped my hand, entwining his fingers through mine.
"Gabrielle," he whispered.
"What?" I answered.
"Wait for me," he said, his figure fading away before I could get a good look at him.
****************************************************************************
Waking up from my dream in a somewhat startled state, I reached for the phone and placed a call to Chris' cell phone.
He managed to answer after four rings.
"Mhshsh?" he mumbled sleepily into the phone.
"It's me Chris," I told him.
"Gab? What is it? What's going on?" he asked me.
"Nothing. I just needed to hear your voice for a minute that's all. I'm sorry to wake you up Chris. I was just thinking about you and wanted to call and tell you..."
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing - nevermind," I sighed back to him.
"I'll call you tomorrow night and we can talk then okay?" he told me.
"No, we can't. I'm in Mexico right now," I told him.
"You're where?!" he exclaimed back to me. "What are you doing there? How long have you been there?"
"Just arrived - I needed to get away for awhile," I told him.
"Are you okay?" he asked me.
"Yeah, I guess I am. I just..."
"What?"
"I miss you Chris," I said, my voice breaking slightly to my embarrassment. Clearing my throat, I told him once more that I was sorry for waking him, and would talk to him when I got home.
"Where exactly are you?" he asked me. I gave him the information, and I could hear him fumbling about in the background.
"Why?" I asked.
"No reason," he said, just a little too nonchalantly.
Hanging up with him shortly afterwards, I went back to bed. The next morning I awoke after sleeping in and decided to take a dip in the ocean. Swimming around in the deliciously warm water, I enjoyed myself thoroughly and then made my way back to my room to lounge about. Stopping at the desk to order some coffee and fruit from room service, the morning passed by in a pleasant and leisurely fashion as I relaxed in a chair on my balcony beneath a canopy. This was truly living.
The next few days passed in peaceful succession as I spent my time either lying on the beach or reading on my balcony. I'd been there for a few days when my peaceful routine was suddenly interrupted one afternoon.
Coming back to the beach shore from an afternoon swim, I lay face down on my towel while soaking up the rays of the sun and was floating away on a peaceful wave of pure bliss when a voice cleared itself beside me.
"Excuse me - Senorita?"
"What?" I mumbled.
"You want rub-down?"
"No," I answered.
"You sure? I give good rub-down - special price for you today - where's your lotion?" he persisted.
"Go away," I answered.
"Ah - you lonely American woman - I give you special rub-down price."
"Beat it," I mumbled.
"Okay, I do that for you if you like for extra," he laughed, unable to hold the fake accent any longer. Rising up on my elbows, I squinted up in surprise at the vision before me.
"What are you doing here?" I gasped.
"Is that any way to greet a loved one?" Chris laughed down at me.
Smiling, I rose to my feet and hugged him tightly. "I can't believe you're actually here," I said, closing my eyes as I felt his arms wrapping themselves around my waist.
"Believe it baby - it's me, live in the flesh. Pucker up, buttercup," he told me, kissing me long and hard. Feeling somewhat dizzy from the sun and all the excitement, I held onto him for a moment longer before resuming my place on the beach towel.
"Roll over," he told me, squirting some coconut scented sun block onto the palm of his hand. I did as he requested, and sighed in pleasure as I felt his warm hands rubbing my back and shoulders firmly.
"I would've preferred a bikini," he mumbled under his breath. "This one piece crap has gotta go."
"Quit picking at me, Jerky - where are your bikini bottoms?" I asked him, pointing at his ridiculously tacky Hawaiian print swimming trunks.
"This is about you, not me," he laughed back at me. "Bikinis are better - easy access."
"Give me that lotion," I told him, snatching the bottle away from his grasp as he spread his towel out next to mine. Straddling his back, I leaned forward and began to rub the sun block into his skin.
"Mmm ... heaven," he mumbled, sighing in contentment. We both savored the warmth of the sun for the next half an hour before heading off for a quick dip in the ocean to cool down.
"How long are you here for?" I asked him as we walked back up to the hotel from the beach.
"Three days," he said, holding the door open for me as we entered the corridor that led to our rooms.
"That's when I leave," I grinned at him. "Hey - you have any plans later?"
"But of course, and with a lovely woman," he told me. "Let's meet up for dinner."
"It's a date," I said, unlocking the door to my room. "Meet me here at 7 okay?"
After taking a leisurely bath, I read a novel for awhile before drifting off to sleep. The next thing I heard was a loud knocking at my door.
"Shit," I mumbled to myself, scurrying over to the door to answer it.
"What's this called?" Chris asked, gesturing at my robe and somewhat disheveled hair.
"It's called falling asleep and not setting the alarm," I laughed at him. "I'll just be a minute okay?"
"I've heard that before," he grumbled, taking a seat out on the balcony to watch the tourists below.
"What was that?" I called out to him from the bathroom.
"Nothing dear," he replied.
I quickly put on a small dab of makeup and pulled my hair up into a french twist, securing it with a new shell barrette that I had bought in the shopping plaza the other day. Taking my dress off the hook, I quickly slipped into it. Deciding at the last minute to take along a shawl in case I got cold, I quickly rubbed some peach scented lotion into my bare arms, shoulders and legs and then was ready to go.
"Chris are you ready?" I asked, walking out onto the balcony.
Turning-around, he smiled when he saw me. "You bet," he said, pointing down at my bare feet. "Are you going out like that?"
"No silly - I'll put some sandals on," I told him, reaching out to hug him once more. Pushing his hair out of the way, I placed a kiss on the side of his neck and told him that we'd better get going.
"On second thought, let's order room service," he whispered against my skin, his lips traveling the length of my collarbone.
"Don't tease me like that Jerky," I warned him, pulling his lips to mine and kissing him ravenously. "There - a taste of your own medicine," I told him breathlessly, my eyes twinkling up into his.
Laughing, he swatted me on the butt and followed me back into the room where I put my sandals on and grabbed my purse. Leaving the hotel, we walked down the main thoroughfare before entering an ocean side restaurant.
After the waitress had brought our bottles of Corona and an order of ceviche over to us, we toasted the evening together and drank deeply, our attention riveted to the brilliant colors of the sunset before us.
Our dinner orders having been placed, we caught up on the events of the last few weeks. I thought about the note from Scott and decided not to mention it to Chris. I didn't want to purposely withhold information from him; I just didn't see any point in mentioning it.
After dinner we made our way back out along the street, stopping in at a dance club to check out the scene for a little while. Laughing at Chris when he insisted on pulling me out onto the dance floor while a mambo song was playing, I pointed out to him that he had absolutely no rhythm whatsoever. Telling me that I was in absolutely no position to be making fun of his dancing skills, I agreed with a laugh that he was correct. We decided to only dance to the slow songs that came up; it would be much safer this way for those around us, and perhaps this way no one would risk the possibility of losing an eye.
We took a seat at a table near the front and made small talk until the first slow song played. Taking me by the hand Chris lead us both out onto the floor, turning around to wrap his arms around my waist and pull me close to him. Linking my fingers loosely around his neck we swayed together in time with the music, the magic of the night casting its spell upon us.
"I'm liking this vacation more and more," I said, looking up into his beautiful blue eyes. Smiling down at me in response, he leaned forward to lightly kiss my forehead before pulling me closer to him.
We stayed at the club for a few more hours, dancing the night away and savoring every moment spent with one another. Eventually it was time to head on back to the hotel, and we walked hand in hand down the hall to my room.
Unlocking my door, I turned around and smiled up at him. "I had a great time Chris - I'm so glad you're here," I told him, rising up on tiptoe to kiss him.
"Me too," he mumbled against my lips, hugging me tightly to him while he kissed me deeply.
"I hate saying goodbye, even if it's only for a night," he said, pulling away from me somewhat reluctantly, his breath ruffling several tendrils of hair that had drifted down onto my neck.
"Come inside for awhile," I said, smiling up at him. "Okay, you talked me into it," he laughed back at me.
Taking a seat out on the balcony, we looked up at the stars that were dotting the clear night sky and sat in companionable silence. Getting up from my chair and walking over to the railing, I leaned against it and closed my eyes in pleasure as I felt a breeze drift by that kissed my skin with its soft touch.
"You're so beautiful," Chris said, getting up to stand behind me and wrapping his arms around my body.
"What do you want Jerky?" I laughed, turning around in his embrace to face him.
"You," he said quietly, his eyes shining down at me with love, telling me everything that I needed to know without having to say a word out loud.
Blushing, I held his gaze for a moment before looking away, and then smiled and closed my eyes blissfully when I felt his arms encircling my body more tightly to lay my head against him. "Don't move," I murmured against his chest. "Let time stand still for a moment - I want to remember this time here with you forever."
"I'll never forget it as long as I live," he said softly to me, tilting my face up to look him in the eye. "I love you Gabrielle - I've loved you from the moment that I first saw you. I knew that you were the one for me - I've waited for you for a lifetime."
"I love you too Chris," I told him, seconds before his lips claimed mine. Wrapping my hands around his neck, I pressed myself tightly up against him as I felt his mouth leaving mine to skim lightly across my jaw, leaving a trail of fire along my skin.
"Kiss me again - I need to feel your lips on mine," I breathed to him. I didn't have to ask him twice. My lips parted under the slight pressure of his as his tongue tentatively explored the depths of my mouth in a teasing fashion, gradually becoming ever more bold. Groaning at the delicious sensation that his mouth was evoking on mine, I pressed myself even closer against the delicious heat of his body.
"Are there any other wishes that I can grant for you tonight my lady?" he whispered to me softly while sucking lightly at the hollow of my throat.
"Make love to me Chris - make me yours," I murmured, my head falling back against his chest as he quickly gathered me up into his arms and walked through the balcony doors, carrying me over to the bed.
Like I said, the man didn't have to be asked twice.
****************************************************************************
His lips glide slowly across my skin, a wordless benediction to the temple that houses my soul. Feeling the calluses of his palms lightly scraping across my tender flesh I shiver involuntarily, my nipples hardening almost painfully. Suddenly mouth to mouth, heart to heart, and loin to loin, we are two halves of the whole that have at last come together. He peels me in layers, each successive turn a glimpse into the real woman that is me.
Our clothes mingling together on the floor, we stand facing one another, each drinking in the beauty of the other's flesh. My Adonis come alive, I reach out, half expecting his image to flutter away with the light feathering of my touch. To my blessed relief, he is warm marble come to life, to my life.
My ship has at last pulled into the harbor of his love, and I am now home.
****************************************************************************
I
awoke sometime during the early morning hours, wondering silently to myself if the seemingly surreal atmosphere was true reality or not. Reaching my fingers out somewhat tentatively and contacting warm solid male flesh beside me, I concluded with a grateful sigh that it was. Lazily stroking my fingers lightly in wide circles on his firm stomach, I heard a soft sigh of contentment leaving his lips."Don't stop there," he murmured sleepily to me.
"I'm sorry - I didn't mean to awaken you," I whispered back apologetically.
"Are you kidding me?" he asked, opening one eye to look up at me. "I've been longing to be awakened by you under these circumstances for an eternity."
Laughing softly, I leaned forward and kissed him gently, the heavy silk curtain of my hair falling forward to shield his face from my view.
"C'mere you," he whispered to me, grasping me about the waist and pulling my body on top of him. Straddling his hips with my legs, I leaned forward and gave a slight gasp of surprise as his arms suddenly crushed my chest to his. His lips greedily devouring the soft skin of my throat and then making their way leisurely down to my breasts, I tilted my head back to grant him further access. Running his hands lightly down the length of my back, his fingertips barely gliding over my skin, he stopped and grasped my buttocks firmly in his strong hands, kneading them.
"Ready for round two?" he asked me huskily, his eyes partly shielded from my view by lids that were heavy with desire.
Nodding my assent, I felt him pushing my body back up into an upright position. Looking at me intently, he hands slid down to cup my breasts before he rose upright to meet me. His lips greedily searching for my nipple, I clasped his head closer to my breast and moaned as I felt his other hand gliding down between our stomachs to stroke my slick inner flesh. Running my fingers through his hair and stopping with a jolt of shock as he began to stroke my clitoris rhythmically, all coherent thought left my being as his finger entered me while his thumb continued to circle my nub gently.
His lips seeking mine, I gasped my need into his mouth as a lightning bolt of sensory pleasure shot through my body. Lifting my body aloft, I was suddenly turned to liquid gold as he brought me down swiftly onto his thick hardness to impale me, my breath leaving my body in short gasps in response.
Grasping my hips with his hands, he set the pace and I followed. Beginning to reach my climax with each successive hard, rapid thrust, I felt my body began to quiver uncontrollably as it reached its pinnacle of pleasure. My inner muscles grasping him unmercifully in a velvet vice as my orgasm tore through my soul, and I heard his gasp of pleasure in response as his release soon followed mine.
Remaining in place, arms wrapped around each other and still joined as one, a feeling of intense love and tenderness welled up in my soul whose release wouldn't be denied. My eyes filled with tears that soon cascaded down my skin in a torrent of stinging warmth, the light pattering sound of their drops descending the only other sound in the room as we still fought to catch our breath.
"What is it my love?" he asked softly, lifting his head up from my shoulder to gaze deeply into my eyes as he saw the tears shimmering within.
Shaking my head to let him know that I couldn't talk, he didn't press me for explanations, but instead kissed me with such loving reverence that it made me sob aloud. Pulling my head down to his shoulder he wrapped his arms around me fiercely, rocking me gently while enfolding me into the haven of his embrace.
And so the night passed.
****************************************************************************
The next few days flew by in a haze of sunshine, light ocean breezes, endless walks on the beach and the sensual pleasure of two new lovers discovering and reveling in the body of their loved one.
Before I knew it, our time together had come to an end and we both left for the airport, each to part from the other to a distant location.
"Thank you for joining me," I whispered into Chris' ear as I savored one last embrace from him.
"We'll have to do this again soon," he told me, softly kissing my lips once more. "I'll call you in a few days okay? Love you."
"Love you too," I murmured back to him, placing my palm upon his cheek. Grasping my hand in his, he kissed the tips of my fingers and smiled once more at me before boarding his plane. Waving goodbye to him, I waited for a short while before boarding my own plane home.
Arriving home later that day, I picked up the kittens and immediately felt guilty for having left them behind as they mewed constantly, berating me in feline tongue for my absence. Retrieving my messages, I was somewhat startled to find numerous hang up calls that had occurred while I was gone. Wondering momentarily what that was all about, I nevertheless shrugged and put it out of my mind.
I had been home for about a week when the UPS man made an appearance at my doorstep one Friday afternoon. Handing me a box, I signed for it and then opened it with some curiosity. Pushing aside the tissue paper inside, I saw a beautiful ivory dress that had been neatly folded into the box. Smiling with pleasure and lifting it out to get a better look at it, I noticed a letter enclosed in the box beneath it.
"Please meet me for dinner tonight at The Rose Garden. I've made reservations for 8 p.m. It would give me the greatest pleasure to see you wearing this dress. Until then..."
Laughing with surprise, I smiled and shook my head, marveling at the endless romantic capacity of Chris.
That evening I arrived at the restaurant on time, breathless with anticipation. The dress was beautiful, and a perfect fit. Walking into the restaurant I gave the maitre d' my name and was promptly led to a solitary table alight with small candles outside in the garden area. Looking around with appreciation, I noticed the beauty of the flowers that were present and smiled at the serene romantic atmosphere.
Ordering a drink, I sat for a few minutes before getting up to walk over to the rose trellis on the other side of the courtyard, bending over to inhale the sweet scent of the roses and softly fingering the gardenia flowers that decorated the bushes here and there. Soft music played in the background, and I turned around, somewhat puzzled as I saw no sign yet of Chris.
Leaning over once more to inhale the sweet scent of a red rose, I heard the soft strains of an acoustic guitar as it began to play.
"The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun
Rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars
Were the gifts you gave.
To the dark and the endless sky my love..."
Jolting upright, I felt an intense feeling of deja vu pass over me. Hearing the birds twittering as they prepared to roost for the night in the tree above me, I froze in place as I heard footsteps walking up behind me, stopping as they reached me.
"May I have this dance?" Scott's voice whispered to me over my shoulder.
Turning around in shock, I gasped and looked up at him in surprise.
"Hi," he said to me with a seductive smile. Reaching forward he wrapped his left arm around my waist, his other hand grasping mine, pulling it up to his lips for a kiss. "Dance with me, please Gab," he whispered again to me, the soft light of the dusky sunset casting gentle rays into the loving warmth of his deep brown eyes.
"And the first time ever I kissed your mouth
I felt the earth
Move in my hands
Like the trembling heart
Of a captive bird
That was there at my command my love..."
We danced in relative silence, an occasional cricket singing along to the music. Looking up at Scott, my body trembled slightly as I saw the intense look of naked desire in his eyes. His eyes leisurely drifted down to my lips, and I saw his mouth slightly part in response as I nervously licked my bottom lip.
"And the first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart
So close to mine
And I knew our joy
Would fill the earth
And last till the end of time my love..."
Pulling my body close to his, I stiffened at first in reaction to his nearness and then gradually relaxed. "That's it," he murmured softly to me, softly rubbing my back as the warmth of his breath gently caressed the top of my shoulder.
My mind not able to fully comprehend yet what was happening, I told myself that I must be dreaming as I ran my hands up along his broad back. His arm tightening around my waist in response, he cupped the back of my head gently with his other hand to press it closer to his shoulder as we danced around in slow lazy circles.
Feeling somewhat dizzy, my head began to feel light with the sweet cloying perfume of the roses and gardenias mixed with the spicy musk of his cologne. Stopping abruptly, I let my arms slide down from his shoulders and stepped out of his embrace. Turning away from him, I walked over to the small lily pond that was across the grass while trying to catch my breath and clear my head for a moment. My dream had become reality and I wasn't sure what this meant or how to handle it.
"Surprise," he said quietly to me, following behind as I walked away from him.
"You'd never believe me if I told you how much of one," I answered, laughing somewhat wryly and shaking my head in disbelief.
"Come back and sit with me," he said, reaching for my hand. Putting my hand out in front of me a little defensively, I shook my head no while chewing my bottom lip.
"This can't be, Scott - it just can't," I whispered, cursing myself for my emotional weakness as my eyes filled with tears and I was forced to look away from him.
"Can't be what? It's just dinner," he told me, laughing softly. "You aren't scared to have dinner with me, are you?"
"It's not that!" I said as I whirled around to face him. "You don't understand, do you? This isn't right - it's all wrong and it can't be you, it just can't! I won't do this again - I CAN'T do this again," I continued, my voice breaking as I walked swiftly away from him, intent on leaving the restaurant immediately.
"Oh no you don't," he said, jogging a few steps to catch up with me. Grasping my arm insistently, he turned me around and looked somewhat surprised and dismayed when he saw the tears that were coursing a ragged path down my cheeks. "What's wrong? Talk to me right now."
"No," I said stubbornly, turning away from him once more. Gritting my teeth and shaking my head as I felt him grasp my shoulders gently from behind, I sobbed softly as I felt him pull my body back into his.
"Please don't leave, please talk to me Gab," he said quietly into my ear, his lips barely skimming along the top of my shoulder, placing soft kisses against my skin.
A loud sob emitting from my body, I didn't resist as he turned me around and enfolded me into his loving embrace. Holding me tightly to him, he murmured soft soothing noises while gently caressing my back lightly with his fingers. After the emotional tempest had passed, he pulled back slightly from me to rest his forehead against mine.
"I love you and that won't ever change," he said, closing his eyes and rubbing the tip of his nose against mine. "I had to tell you that - I needed to see you again and tell you how I feel."
Bringing a shaking hand up to my cheek, I began to wipe my tears away with the back of it.
Reaching his fingers out, he pushed my hand aside and wiped at the remaining tears with his thumb. Grasping my jaw tenderly, he leaned forward and pressed his lips softly to mine. Bringing my hands up to push him away, my body betrayed me as my arms instead entwined around his neck, pulling his heat closer to mine.
We remained locked in our embrace for another few moments before I stepped away from him. Smiling somewhat sadly up at him and with more tears flooding my eyes, I stroked his whiskered cheek with my hand gently before turning away one last time and walking away from him.
"Gab," he called after me. "I love you."
Turning around to look at him, I took a deep breath before plunging forward. "I love you too Scott," I told him. "But it's too late for us. I'm sorry."
Walking out of the restaurant and getting into my car, I drove back to my apartment. That was the last that I was to see or hear from Scott for many months to come.
Chris came back to town the next month, and we spent the next few days together, shopping, talking, sleeping in, it didn't seem to matter what as long as we were able to savor each and every moment of the others presence. He told me that he had vacation time coming up at the end of the summer, and wanted me to join him on his trip back home to meet his family. Telling him yes, I was still somewhat nervous at the prospect at meeting his loved ones. Why, I don't know, but I remained a bit on edge nonetheless.
The trip was great, and my worries and fears were for naught. I immediately understood how he had come to be such a wonderful and caring man by spending time with his family and viewing first hand their close connection to one another. Having not come from a particularly close family myself, I had an extra appreciation for the bond that these wonderful people shared with one another. I felt accepted within their circle and overwhelmed by their kindness.
We came back to town on the last day of his vacation before he was to leave to rejoin the WWF. Inviting me to a picnic at the park, Chris and I spent a leisurely afternoon sitting over by the duck pond, tearing up quite a few loaves of bread in the process to feed all of the hungry birds.
Lying on his side on the blanket while facing me, he leaned forward to tenderly cup my cheek with his palm. "I love you," he whispered softly to me.
"And I love you too," I grinned back happily at him, throwing the last of the bread out to the ducks.
"Marry me," he said quietly.
"What?" I turned back to him, my attention now completely focused.
"Come live with me, and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove..." he began to say, reciting the Christopher Marlowe poem.
"Enough," I said, laughing at him. Looking down briefly, he began to fish in his front pants pocket, pulling out a small velvet box. Opening the lid, he turned it towards me, showing me a small antique emerald and diamond platinum engagement ring inside.
"Be my wife - make me the happiest man alive," he said softly to me. Gasping at him, I reached out and fingered the ring in wonderment.
"Yes," I said, smiling at him, knowing that I'd forever remember the vivid twinkling blueness of his eyes at this moment in time.
"This was my grandmother's," he said to me, taking the ring out of the box and slipping it onto my finger. "It's temporary - you don't have to use it if you don't want to - but I wanted to have a ring to give to you when I asked you."
"Chris, I love it - and I remember you telling me that your grandmother was someone very special to you, and that she and your grandfather lived a long and happy life together. I'd be honored to wear it," I told him, reaching out to embrace him tightly.
Sighing into my hair, he held me closely to him for a moment before pulling away and kissing me deeply. "Let's do it next week," he told me. "Let's get married right away."
"We'll do no such thing," I laughed at him. "Your family and mine should be there with us, along with our friends. Nothing large, but we should still have our loved ones around to help us celebrate. Okay? Besides - what's the rush?"
"If the test is positive, I want both of us to be married before our baby is born."
"We don't know if it is yet," I told him. "I'll find out in a few days, alright? And I promise to let you know right away," I said, laughing as he tenderly lay a hand against my stomach lovingly.
I said goodbye to him the next day, and this departure seemed much harder than the previous ones had. Promising to let him know as soon as my test results were back, I waved one last time at him and blew him another kiss before he turned around to board the plane.
Three days later it was confirmed. We were going to be parents.
Deciding that this news was too important not to tell him in person, I gave Matt a call and made arrangements to meet him in Detroit. Picking me up at the airport with Jeff in tow, we drove back to the hotel where I hid in their room for the remainder of the afternoon. Catching up on news with them, they both congratulated me whole heartedly on our engagement. "So you know? How did you find out so quickly?" I asked them, somewhat puzzled.
"Chris has been telling everyone who'll listen - and repeating it to those who've heard it already," Jeff laughed at me.
"Mighty mouth," I chuckled. "The mouth that roared - that's our beloved Christopher Irvine."
Staying back at the hotel while they attended the show that night, I managed to sneak my way into Chris' room and then made arrangements with room service to deliver to us a late night candlelight dinner. The dinner arrived a short while before Chris did, and I hurriedly lit the candles and barely had time to hide in the bathroom before he came through the door.
"What the..." he mumbled, looking at the table that was set up over by the window.
"Surprise," I told him softly, stepping out of the shadows behind him. Turning around, he smiled it me. "Gab!" he said, swiftly crossing the room to embrace me. "When did you get here?"
"Today," I answered, smiling at him. "I had to see you."
"Did you get the test result back?" he asked me somewhat anxiously.
"Sure did - daddy," I told him, smiling lovingly at him. Closing his eyes briefly, he sank to his knees in front of me and hugged me while lovingly kissing my stomach through my nightgown. "I love you so much," he murmured against my skin.
"And I love you," I told him in return, leaning down to kiss the top of his golden hair.
Enjoying our late night meal, we fell asleep in each other's arms soon after. Getting up early the next morning to leave for the airport, I met Matt out in the hallway while I was waiting for Chris.
"Thanks," I told him, reaching out to hug him.
"No problem," he laughed at me.
"Matt can I talk to you about something? I have a favor to ask of you," I told him.
"Sure - fire away."
"Will you give me away at our wedding?" I asked.
Pausing for a second, he smiled at me broadly and then immediately agreed. "I'd be proud to give you away Gabrielle."
"One more thing..." I told him.
"What's that?"
"I don't know if I should really say this yet - maybe I should just let Chris tell you, or we could tell you together - nevermind. We're going to have a baby."
"Oh okay - you're WHAT?" he said, turning back to me, a joyful smile lighting up his face.
"You're going to be an honorary uncle," I repeated, smiling at him.
Hugging me once more, it wasn't long before Jeff joined us in the hall. Sharing the happy news with him, we didn't hear Chris walk up behind us.
"Hey there dad," the two brothers said, teasing Chris immediately.
"Yep, proud papa, that's me," Chris said, grinning happily.
"C'mon guys - we have to go," I said, pulling them all down the hall.
I flew home that day, telling Chris that we'd make some further plans the next time he came back to town.
Fall soon arrived and Chris and I were married on a chilly Saturday morning in a small ski lodge in Canada. Renting out the lodge for the occasion, we were surrounded by all of our loved ones in a small yet elegant affair. Matt escorted me down the aisle, delivering me to Chris with a smile and a wink. I managed to put my foot down and tell Chris that there would be no Fozzy Osbourne playing at the reception, and after a moment's disappointment, he agreed.
We honeymooned in the Greek islands where I was finally able to visit the Acropolis like I'd always dreamed. Deciding to take a detour to Italy at the last minute, we spent some time seeing the Parthenon and numerous other historical sites and various museums before heading back to the states.
Setting up house together when we got home, we purchased a home outside of town on a few acres of land. Lots of projects waiting in line for me, I kept quite busy during the next few months while Chris was gone. He managed to make it home at least once every three weeks to visit for a few days before taking off once more. When it was no longer safe for me to fly anywhere, I waited at home for him.
Our daughter Alexandra Elizabeth Caroline Violet was welcomed into our family a few months later, named after my mother and both of our grandmothers, who sadly would never get to see her lovely smiling little face. She was the apple of both of our eyes, and was spoiled unmercifully by all who came to see her. Matt and Jeff must have spent a small fortune at the Babies R Us store, because they arrived a few weeks after her birth to visit with literally a carload of presents in tow for the new addition to our family.
A small package arrived one day in the mail when little Alex was a few months old. Opening up the velvet box that was inside, I saw a tiny gold bracelet with a note enclosed.
"Gab -
This is for your little girl. I hear that her name is Alexandra. May she grow up to be half as lovely and wonderful as her beautiful mother is. I think of you often - you're never far away from my thoughts and knowing that you're truly happy with Chris is enough for me. I can't help but envy Chris sharing a child with you - I would give anything in the world if she could have been mine. I'll always love you and keep a piece of you in my heart. I'm here if you should ever need me for anything.
Scott"
Tears filling my eyes, I lifted the shiny bracelet out of the box and placed it on Alexandra's tiny wrist. Lifting her up into my arms, I held her close and rocked her back to sleep.
"Maybe someday you'll get to meet your Uncle Scott," I whispered to my daughter quietly.
"Gab?" Chris called out to me.
"Shh - the baby's sleeping," I said to him. Walking into the bedroom, he gently fingered the gold bracelet on Alex's small wrist. "What's this? Who's this from?" he asked.
"An old friend," I said, smiling at him before reaching out for a kiss, our daughter resting between us.
THE END