(Movie opens, camera zooms in, Edge and Christian are sitting on a table,, Christian has a tape recorder, he turns
     it on)

     Edge: So you want to know my life story? You'le need alot of tape.

     Christian: Don't worry I have a whole bag of tape right here.So, what is it you do?

     Edge: I am a vampire.
 

     Christian: (laughing) Well, there's something I hav'nt heard before! You mean this, literaly I take it!

     Edge: Absolutely.

     Christian: Okay, well, let's get started

     Edge: Ah, but we cant begin like this, do you mind if I turn the light on?

     Christian: I thought vampires didnt like the light!

     Edge: We crave it.

     (Zap! the lights go on in a flash, and Edge is still sitting at the table! Christian cant believe it)

     Christian: Shit! How did you do that?

     Edge: The same way you do, a series of simple getures, only we move to fast for you to see.

     Christian: (Starting to believe this guy just may be a vampire) Youre not kidding me, are you!?

     Edge: Why would I lie? So, shall we begin like David Copperfield? where I was born, where I greqw up, or shall
     we begin where I was born, into darkness, as I like to call it?

     (Scene fades, Edge is talking in the background)

     Edge: It all happened it the 17'th century, I was 25, younger than you are now, but thing were different then, I was
     a man at that age.
     My wife and daughter had died tragicly, I wanted to join them, I know that now, longed for death, I invited it,
     from the whore at my side, to the pimp that followed, but it was a vampire, who answers my cries.

     (Scene opens, it is night time, and Edge is gambling with the Godfather, one of his ho's are hanging all over edge)

     Godfather: Yo, wait, how many cards are in that deck?

     Edge: Are you calling me a cheat?

     Godfather: I'me calling you a peice of crap, who doesnt deserve to be abord the, HO TRAIN!

     (Gotdfather pics up a pistol, and aims it at Edge)

     Edge: If you dont lack the courage of your conviction sir do it!

Godfather: Oh, gawd dang! A got another damn magraine, AGH! Damn that hurts!

     (Godfather completely forgets about Edge, Edge walks out to the harbor with the ho, Gangrel is seen watching
     them, the ho start's trying to get Edge's clothes off, Edge is not interested, then, out of nowhere comes Steve
     Austin and Hulk Hogan)

     Austin: Son, Give me all your money!

     Edge: Why?

     Hulk: Cuz Stone Cold said so brother!

     Edge: I thought you were about praying and taking vitermins!

     Hulk: I guess you're right, Steve, you can do this on youre own, I am more succesful as a face, see ya.

     Austin: Okay, um, where was I?

     Edge: You want me to give you all my money.

     Austin: Oh, yeah, that's right! Thanks.

     Edge: Dont mention it, hey isnt Oh Yeah Macho Man's line?

     Austin: SHUT UP! Peaple arent s'posed to know that! Those idiots like me because I swear and flip the middle
     finger,and by all my merchandise, meanwhile they dont know that I am dumbass, cashing off at there expance, and
     do you know why? Because stone cold said so!

     (Stone Cold is still telling Edge what a about how stupid the fans are and doesnt notice Gangrel coming up behing
     him, Gangrel throws him into a puddle about two inches deep)

     Austin: Help! I cant swim!

     (Gangrel bites Edge on the neck, and takes him up in the air)

     Gangrel: Do you still want death? Or have you tasted it enough?

     Edge: Enough.

     (Gangrel drops Edge into the missisipi river, the scene fades, and the next scene comes up, Edge is walking
     towards his house, early in the morning, he is wet and freezing cold)

     Undertaker: How's the water?

     Edge: (in an australian accent) Bloody freezin' mate!

     Undertaker: My cat died last night, I hope it.... Rest's, in peace.

     Edge: Yeah, me to, now if you dont mind I have to get back to my house and be realy sick so that Gangrel comes
     and makes me a vampire.

     Undertaker: Umm, yes.

     ( Scene re-opens with Edge in his bed, Gangrel comes in, and walks around the bed gracefuly)

     Edge: Who are you? What are you doing in my house?

     Gangrel: I've come to anser your prayers.

     Edge: Realy? Your a Muslim to?

     Gangrel: Well not excactly, but I do that life, has no meaning for you anymore does it?
     The wine has no taste, the food sickens you, and yet you keep....

     Edge: You want to make me a vampire!

     Gangrel: Shut up, I like saying this! Yet you keep searching for meaning, and what if I could give it all back to you,
     what if.....

     Edge: Damnit, just get to the point

     Gangrel: I wanna make you a vampire.

     Edge: I know.

     Gangrel: You do?

     Edge: Yes.

     Gangrel: Realy?

     Edge: Yes.

     Gangrel: Are you sure?

     Edge: Yes.

     Gangrel: Oh.

     Edge: Yes.

     Gangrel: Stop saying yes.

     Edge: Yes.

     Gangrel: Okay, anyway, if you want to be a vampire, come to me tomorow night, will you be there?

     Edge: Yes.

     (Scene re-opens, Edge is outside looking at the sunset for the last time)

     Gangrel: Have you said youre goodbye's to the light?

     Edge: Yes.

     (Gangrel jumps on Edge, and start's draining all his blood unmercifuly, Edge is realy pale, then, Gangrel stops)

     Gangrel: I have drained you to the point of death, if I leave you, ya f#cked, or, you could be young, always, my
     friend.

     Edge: Yes.

     (Gangrel get's a blade and slashes his wrist, he puts the cut above Edge's mouth, and Edge starts sipping from it,
     then drinking harder, and harder, untill Gangtrel takes his wrist away, Edge starts to sqirm, he seems to be under
     extreme pain, Gangrel is heard saying, "your bodie's dying, pay no attention, it happens to us all")

     (Scene returns to Edge and Christian, sitting at the table)

     Edge: When my eyes opende again, when I saw the world again with my new vampire eyes, it all seemed
     different, in a way I cant describe, and everything had seemed to change, yet stay the same.

     Christian: And when you turned into a vampire, did you stop saying yes?

     Edge: Yes.

     (Christian groans)
Gangrel: Go to sleep ya dickhead.

     Edge: Can I have Stimpy.

     Gangrel: Oh, yeah, sorry, here ya go.

     (Gangrel hands Edge his Stimpy doll, now Edge looks content)

     Gangrel: Get your rest, when you awake, I'le be waiting for you, and so will all the world.

     Edge: Wait a minute, that doesnt make sense, the part about you waiting for me is fine, but then you say, so will all
     the world, and they dont even know I excist, so why would they wait for something they dont know what they are
     waiting for? I mean the texans might do that, but that's a whole different story, and besides, if all the world is
     waiting for me, of course you'le be waiting for me so you should have just said when I awake all the world would
     be waiting for me cuz you are a part of the world, I mean that's just stupid.

     Gangrel: Ah, yes, I see, okay, when you awake, I will be waiting for you, and so will all the texan's.

     (Scene fades, the re-opens, Gangrel and Edge are at a theatre, Gangrel is talking to Sunny)

     Sunny: One shot at this Tequila, and you'le be as pissed as a parrot.

     Gangrel: Tequila is good, but what if I'de rather taste your lips.

     Sunny: Okay then.

     (Gangrel starts biting Sunny's neck)

     Sunny: You said you'de taste my lips.

     Gangrel: Ah, but what if, I'de rather taste your blood, oh shit, I mean, what if I'de rather taste your neck.

     Sunny: My blood, oh shit you mean my neck is even sweeter still.

     (Edge starts biting her neck, and her blood is all gone, Edge takes her life)

     Edge: I will not take her life!

     Gangrel: Just pretend I did it!

     Edge: Okay.

     (Edge get's all angry and charges at Ganrel with a steal chair)

     Edge: (oriental accent) You bastard! I kill you! I kill you all!

     Gangrel: I didnt mean that literaly! just calm down a bit, get yourself together.

     ( Scene re-opens with Edge and Gangrel talking at a dinner table, a rat goes past and Gangrel get's it and rips it's
     stinking head off, he squeezes the blood into a glass)

     Gangrel: Pretend it's wine.

     Edge: (in a Dracula style translevanian accent) I never drink.....Wine.

     Gangrel: Okay, pretend it's red cordial.

     Edge: (in the same accent) I never drink.... Red cordial.

     Gangrel: Okay, dont pretend, just drink it.

     Edge: (One again in that accent) I never drink...It.

     (Gangrel looks frustrated, Edge giggles and drinks it anyway)

     Edge: (In an indian accent) It goooooood, it bery bery goooooooooooooooooood!

     Gangrel: Wouldnt call it living, I'de call it surviving. Useful trick if youre caught out sea for a week.

     Edge: You can live like this?

     (They both look puzzled, then Gangrel figures out that he answerd Edge's questian before he asked it.)

     Ganrel: I answerd youre question before you asked it.

     Edge: I see.

     (Scene re-opens with Gangrel and Edge at what appears to be a ball, Edge is heard talking in the background to
     Christian,"Ganrel killed two sometimes three a night, the blood of a young maiden thrilled him best of all, but the
     snob in him loved to hunt the blood of then arristocrat's)

     Gangrel: The trick is not to think, you see that lady over there?

     (Luna is shown talking to Duane Gill)

     Gangrel: She had that gorgious young JOBBER, murder Al Snow, she blamed Head for his murder, imagine what
     they did to him?

     Edge: One thing is for shore, they didnt cut off his, HEAD! Get it, Head?

     (Gangrel cant believe how bad Edge's joke was)

     Gangrel: Anyway, evil doers are the easiest, and they taste better.

     ( Gangrel is walking with Duane Gill, they have left the ball)

     Duane Gill: Where are we going?

     Gangrel: Nowhere.

     (Edgeand Luna are sitting on a park bench, Edge wants to drink from her, but he keeps delaying it, he then starts
     feeding from her puppies, no, not those puppies, as in dog's, poodles, yoou know, the ones that go, WOOF!
     WOOF!)

     Luna: AHHHHHHHHHHH! Me dogs.

     Edge: Did you say Army Dog's?

     Luna: No I said, Ah, me gog's! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!

     (Gangrel drops Gill, who he drank from, and runs over to Luna and snaps her neck)

     Gangrel: you idiot, Edge! You could have ended us both!

     Edge: You can damn me to hell!

     Gangrel: I dont know any hell.

     Edge: Well, it's this place where the baddies go when the die, and the have to stay down there with the mean old
     devil, who is mean. Oh, did I mention he was mean? Anyway it's hot and......

     Gangrel: I know what hell is dumbass!

     Edge: Why did you say you didnt?

     Gangrel: I meant as in.... Ah, nevermind, anyway, as I was saying, creature who prowels the night killing rat's and
     poodles...

     Edge: Ahhhhhh!

     (Edge starts fighting Gangrel, Kung Fu Fighting is heard playing in the background, Edge gives Gangrel a wedgie,
     and Gangrel laughs)

     Gangrel: See that's why I chose you! But you can't.... Kill me Edge, you can go along killing, rat's, chickens, haha,
     poodles, I'le just whatch you come around, and remember, without me, life would be even more, umbearable.

(Movie re-opens with Edge standing outside the door yelling at his slaves, with a dead female slave victim lying in
     his arms, he has a blowtourch in his hand)

     Edge: This place is cursed, it's damned, and yes, your master is a wrestler!!!!

     (A slave with a Brood t-shirt on asks for Edge's autograph, Edge signs it and continue's his speach)

     Edge: Your all free men now, run! Go! Save
     yourseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelves!

     (Slaves run away and cheer, and Edge get's the Blowtourch, he goes into the house and starts burning everything,
     Gangrel come up behind him)

     Gangrel: You idiot Stimpy

     Edge: Edge!

     Gangrel: Okay then....Edge!

     (A guy in a white suite comes up and whispers something in Ganrels ear, Gangrel looks puzzled)

     Gangrel: Ummmmm, egh let's see, Ah, yes now I remember, PERFECT! Perfect just burn the place burn
     everything WE OWN! Have us living in a field like cattle!

     Edge: That's the idea!

     Gangrel: Just, shut up Edge!

     (Scene reopens Gangrel and Edge are sitting in a cemetary)

     Gangrel: Where in a cemetary!

     Edge: Well duh!

     ( Nothing happens for awhile, then Edge begins to relize something)

     Edge: This sucks, let's go!

     Gangrel: Yeah, I agree!

     (Scene reopens with Gangrel kissing and fondling a woman, she is giggling, thenGangrel bites her breast, she is in
     a state of pleasure untill she notice's the blood staining her dress)

     Women: Wow, thanks alot! This was my realy good dress untill you went and f#cked it up!

     (Women runs out of the room)

     Edge: Hey, she was a cute chic!

     Gangrel: You are no longer apealing, you must drink from them, do it swiftly if you will but do it!

     Edge: Okay