August 18th 2000
I write this paper for all those people who have
ever thought about giving up. Everyone in there life has had ups and downs,
good times and bad.
Being a teenager is very tough, growing up in
this day and age is very difficult. Why any one would want to ever
go through the stress that teenagers do is beyond me. You know when older
people say "Wish I was young again." Please bare with me for a couple of
minutes while I tell you some of the ups and downs in my life. 15
years ago yesterday August 17th 1985 my grandpa died of self inflicted
lung cancer, I was three years old at the time so I don't remember much
about him, three years later at the age of six (Kindergarten) I was admitted
to the Hill Air Force Base Hospital, Utah where I stayed for three weeks
and had my left Kidney taken out.
On August 13th 1993 a friend of mine Rachael
Brown died in a car accident. She was my age at the time, had her whole
life ahead of her.
In October of '97 my dad was arrested for "Child
Abuse" (That's what DFS called it) I didn't see it that way. He never got
drunk or when he did he would never come home drunk. In fact I have
never seen my dad drunk He was taken out of the home for three months.
October through December. Our case worker said that our case was the fist
one he had ever seen where the family was not happy that the Dad was taken
out of the home. It was then that I first tried smoking. I
thought that I was a cool little 8th grader (14 years old) I have a cousin
who I was very close to growing up. We would do everything together.
During our 8th grade (Mid '96) year her parents got a divorce and in July
on '97 she attempted suicide. Though failed in the attempt it is the principal
of the matter. It was then that I first heard my father say "Its
ok to think about it, it's just not ok to act on it."
In the summer before my 11th grade year (I was
16) my parents also got a divorce. My dad became a truck driver,
we moved from our house we lived in for 7 years to our current home in
Kaysville, That's when I decided to drop out of school October '99.
Although I didn't try to kill myself to get out of reality the thought
had crossed my mind a couple thousand times. I'm sure every every
teenager has thought about it or had it flash across there mind at least
once in there life. You know the feelings "Nobody loves me!", "Why won't
I just die?", "I'll never go anywhere with my life", "I'll never be someone's
"Somebody special"", "Nobody would care if I died." I think you get my
point. The signs of depression. It's all natural but the important
thing is that you don't dwell on those thoughts. On Monday
August 7th 2000 my home teacher died with complications due to Lucumea.
Then on Wednesday August 16th 2000 my best friend
who I have known ever since 4th grade, who with all my good and bad times
in life. Dad being arrested, my parents divorce and then having us move
away was always there for me. He taught me never to give up, that God is
always there for you all you need to do is ask. This guy taught me
the importance of life and that it is worth living, that no matter what
you have to keep trying, never give up. And when you feel like giving up,
turn to the lord. On Wednesday the 16th day of August the year 2000 he
Attempted Suicide. Someone you wouldn't even suspect. Someone with the
exception of the Lord has taught me more about life than any other being
that ever lived on this Earth., more that I could ever even teach myself.
Scheduled to get his Parriarcticle Blessing on the 20th of August Someone
who at most of the times in my life I can remember was closer to God than
I would ever be. A great example of what a typical great LDS young man
should be.
I know we all have problems and that being a
teenager has it's fair share of trials. But this is the real world
and it's not going to change but only get worse. Thats why we were saved
for this day and age, because God knew we could do it and I know that we
can. I don't write this letter for sympathy or to get attention but
to let all you guys know that there is hope, even though so many people
in life try or want to give up. "Build your foundation" as it says in Heleman.
If you are living like God would want us to and like you know you should
be living, I'm not saying that life would be perfect but it would defeniatly
have less than it's fair share of trials.
Words can't describe how I feel about this church
and it's teachings the only word that I can think of when I am asked how
I feel about this Church is pure and utter Love. I'm so excited to
go
on a mission, even with everything that has happened to me in my life I
love this Church with everything in me, all my Heart, Might, Mind and Strength.
I know that it is the only true Church on the face of this Earth today.
And that the Book of Mormon is the most correct book on this earth and
that man will draw nearer to God by abiding by it's precepts, Just as Joseph
Smith has declared. I know that President Gordon Bitner. Hinkley is a true
and living prophet and I know that he was called of God and is suposed
to be leading this chruch. I'm thankfull for the power of Prayer,
I don't know where I would be without it I'm thatkful for th Preisthood
and everthing that it has done for me in my life. I love this church and
all of it's teaching and I know that the guidelines that it has are for
our beinifite. I know that you will become nearer to God by listening and
doing what the prophets have said. Listen to what they have to say. They
know what there talking about. and I do say these things in the name of
Jesus Christ Amen.
