Karl "Helo" Agathon (German: "a free man")
Back when Battlestar first started, I was mostly watching it for Jamie Bamber. Then I realized where I recognized Tom Callis from, and I spent a couple of episodes paying attention to him. My next Man of Battlestar (and the first one with any real staying power) was Billy, but events in the show made me shift my focus elsewhere. That's when I discovered the greatness that was Tyrol...but, as Battlestar characters are wont to do, he eventually fell out of my favour for certain extremely spoilery reasons. By that point, I had reason to dislike every character on the show, save two: Helo and Athena. They are the only ones who have been consistently likeable all the way through the series (well...Athena wasn't really at first, but Boomer was back then, so she kind of counts, at least a little). Helo is smart, principled, resolute, and far more tolerant than anyone else in the cast. My saying that guarantees he will either die in one of the early episodes of the fourth season or turn out to be a complete jerkface. But regardless of what happens next year, Helo is Gos' BSG Boyfriend v. 3.0.
The picture I've found for him is terrible – he looks evil and not at all like his usual firm but personable self...but I have thus far been unable to find a better picture. I guess you're just going to have to trust me that he is a total sweetie.
“Since we’re all getting along so well, can people stop pointing their guns at us?”

Sam Beckett (Hebrew: "Asked of God.")
I used to watch Quantum Leap religiously with my mom when it was still on and even for a year or two after it got cancelled. I never really understood it, but I just enjoyed watching television with my mother, and it was about the only show she would watch. When I started watching it again recently, I actually began to get what was going on. I know why he keeps winding up in other people's bodies, now. And not only did I come to the stunning realization that he was an incredibly giving individual, willing to sacrifice his own life and the space-time contiuum to help others, but he was also a ::gasp!:: brilliant scientist! He's got six doctorates, one of which is in ancient languages (which means he can read hieroglyphics! Eee!) And he's a bit of a boy scout, too. Just what I like in a guy. Intelligence and innocence (or a close approximation).
"Oh, boy."

Tim Bisley (Greek: "Honoring God.")
American sitcom writers could learn a lot from Simon Pegg and Jessica Stevenson, starting with "Create believable characters." Tim may work a minimum wage job at a comic book store, but he's much more like Rocko Wallaby than Comic Book Guy. He's ascerbic but compassionate, completely irresponsible with his own life but knows how to take care of others, and, while he is rather oblivious much of the time, he does care and seems to go on the assumption that if people want him to know things, they'll tell him. Perhaps I consider these traits realistic simply because they are traits I share with him... It's rather embarrassing how much I identify with this character, actually. Anyway, he's a sweetheart, and I love him for it.
"Jar Jar Binks makes the Ewoks look like [freaking] Shaft."

Alan Bosley (Celtic: “Cheerful; in harmony.”)
You have no idea who this is, do you? Good. More for me. Alan is a total dork and quite unashamedly so. He listens to outdated country classics openly and enthusiastically, has the goofiest dance of any of his teammates, and the best part is, he could look like a boy band member with a different outfit, but dresses sensibly, instead (true, the movie was set in the sixties or seventies, but still...). And, most of all, he knows when to make sacrifices for the good of the group.
"I didn't warm the bench all year so I could watch us go down on my account."

Lieutenant William Bush (English: “Resolute protector; will.”)
Dear William is a great character, he really is. He’s a great friend for Horatio, a fabulous first officer, and an even better mother hen. He’s very serious and businesslike when on duty, but he’s got a good sense of humour and knows how to enjoy himself when he’s not. And he’s got beautiful eyes.
"Learn your signals you little...gentleman."

Ian Chesterton (Scottish: "God is gracious")
Let's take a trip back in time, shall we? Long, long, long before Rose or Martha or Jack, The Doctor traversed the time/space continuum with a man named Ian Chesterton. Once he came around to the idea of time travel, Ian proved himself an invaluable companion and a wonderful friend: he was brave, chivalrous, protective, curious, intelligent, and dryly witty. I was almost immediately struck by how much he put me in mind of a typical Colin Firth character, and that's always a good sign. As I write this, I have made my way up through "The Highlanders," but I have not yet encountered a companion that comes close to being as endearing or entertaining as Ian.
"One thing about this place, Doctor - it certainly stimulates the phagocytes."

Dr. Robert Dalgety (Old English: "Bright or shinning with fame.")
It took me a while to decide to switch Jonathan out. I still love him, just not as much any longer. Dr. Dalgety simply has a couple of things that Jonathan doesn't. Like a medical degree. An ounce of courage. A teense of tragedy in his recent past. And a Scottish accent. Mmm…
"Sucks being mortal."

Lieutenant Commander Data (English: "Facts given, from which others may be deduced.")
If there’s one thing that makes me coo, it’s techno-babble (Oh, wait. He doesn't babble, does he? ;-)). The inability to have a conversation with another character is just what I look for. And we all know how highly I value intelligence. So, all in all, I coo quite a bit while watching Next Generation. Data is just...he’s adorable in too many ways to count. I mean, just watch the business with the Chinese finger trap in “The Last Outpost” and refrain from giggling at how incredibly clueless he is. He crept up on me very slowly, despite the fact that, in hindsight, I should have seen that the android was very nearly the perfect harem member. It was while vehemently defending him against my sister’s accusations that he was an idiot (!) that I realized how much I loved the guy. If he only had a Welsh lilt or a Texas drawl and was perhaps a skosh younger, Teddy might be in a spot of trouble.
"Considering the rate at which you imbibe, sir, are you sure your lineage isn’t at all mixed with human?"

Major Earl of Edrington (English: "Nobleman, Warrior" I don't like this name at all, but we're gonna go with it until I find something more suitable)
Yeah, he's kind of on the stuck-up side. No, he doesn't necessarily come across well the first time. But look at him, will you? That isn't quite enough? You're not that shallow? Well, fine, then. He's dry, sarcastic, and actually very nice, once you get past the posh exterior. Whether chiding Horatio about his riding prowess, making a witty yet telling remark about his own life, or asking Archie to look out for Horatio, Edrington would make a great friend and an even better older brother. Which are good qualities in a harem member, if I'm any judge.
"Never underestimate the enemy, Mr. Hornblower, but never overestimate an ally."

Wilhelm Grimm (German: "Resolute protector")
My concentration was so divided while I watched this movie that I was utterly overwhelmed: the music was awesome, the sets were beautiful, the story was interesting, the characters were fun and complex, and the costumes were just so incredibly gorgeous I couldn’t even stand it. So it took me a little while to process what I had just seen and heard enough to be able to determine which Grimm I just wanted to cuddle and which I was seriously pining for. Obviously, the conventionally handsome, womanizing, slightly jerk-ish one won in the end. I really don’t understand what it is about the seemingly jerky types who are over protective of their friends/brothers that makes me fall for them every time, but it has ceased to surprise me, at least.
You can visit Jake in the Sweeties section, by the way.
"I made that armour! It’s not magic, it’s just shiny!"

Richard Halke (Old German: “Powerful ruler”)
How adorable is this guy? I’m really not a fan until he and Dana hit it off and he starts to grow up, but my goodness. He’s (usually) a sweetie, so attentive and precious that even I, the hopeless anti-romantic, am absolutely enamored of the adoration he heaps on Dana. He may be a dingbat, but he’s a hyperactive, enthusiastic dingbat. And, as he’s proven several times, he’s not quite as clueless as he would have us believe. This is, of course, not to say he’s not somewhat lacking in the sense department, just that he’s not entirely idiotic.
"I highlighted for us."

Captain Jack Harkness (French: "the supplanter")
Oh, I hated Jack. I absolutely _refused_ to be taken in by smarm and dashing good looks. One of my biggest turn-offs is being expected to be attracted to someone, and that's _exactly_ how Jack presents himself, as though the whole world should bow and scrape at his feet just because he's Captain (not Cap'n) Jack. But, you know what? He's a _huge_ technogeek. No, really, I'm not kidding. You know what else? His life is completely changed when he meets the Doctor, and suddenly he's not just a walking libido. Jack represents the potential for continuing personal growth. He represents an optimistic future wherein modern concepts of sexual identity are meaningless and social politics have nothing to do with government and military. He represents the good that can come out of a bad situation and the hard-headed determination that, according to the show, we humans will never outgrow. And would you look at that smile...
"Well, I've got a banana, and in a pinch, you could put up some shelves."

Dr. Benjamin Harper (Hebrew: “A surety”)
I was fairly certain from watching Horatio Hornblower that Robert Lindsay would be the perfect Samuel Vimes, but now that I am familiar with My Family, I have no doubts at all. I don’t think Ben and I would get along particularly well – we are both too caustic, stubborn, and emotionally restrained – but then again, he and Susan don’t get along most of the time, either. Forget the fact that he’s old enough to be my father and then some (I’m not much older than Michael), Ben Harper is just the sort of cynical, sarcastic jerk-face that I love.
"That is the bright side – things can always get worse."

Jim Halpert (Hebrew: “one who supplants”)
I really didn’t mean to watch this show at all, but I got sucked in when I started watching My Name is Earl and almost immediately found myself falling in love with poor, sweet, heart-broken Jim. See, as much as I hate sappy love stories, I have a bit of a thing for unrequited love stories. That combined with the fact that Jim is a realistic combination of victimized sweetheart and sarcastic jerkface left me utterly defenseless. When he’s not flirting (the cute kind of flirting, not the icky kind) with Pam, he’s making fun of Michael and making things difficult for Dwight (both very noble pastimes, I assure you). Plus, I love his cute little Hobbit nose.
"I want to clamp Michael’s face in a Foreman grill."

Ianto Jones (Welsh: "God is gracious")
Ianto is introduced to us as the gopher of Torchwood: Cardiff – he screens guests, makes coffee, and takes out the trash. But he's not quite the stoic, wooden Owen Burnett type. True, he's close enough that I should have noticed him from the very beginning, but it took the events of "Cyberwoman" for me to realize just how wonderful he is. Jack may have put Gwen in charge of maintaining Torchwood's humanity, but more often than not, it's Ianto who does the best job of balancing compassion and duty. And the fact that he is rather attractive and has that lovely accent more than makes up for the somewhat disturbing and utterly baffling stopwatch thing.
"Of course, bananas are far more interesting."

Billy Keikeya (English: “Strong and resolute protector.”)
And how adorable is this guy? He reminds me a lot of fellow harem member Midshipman Wellard, actually. The Billy/D courtship plot is one of my favourites, because it’s just so cute. Unlike most of the other shy geeks in my harem, though, Billy has some common sense; it’s just girls that he’s clueless about. Well, girls and guns. And other military-type stuff. He’s very competent when it comes to advising the president, and that’s his job. So it all works out in the end, and I have a new harem member.
Update 2/11/06: That thing about the Billy/D relationship? Scratch that. D is a tramp, and she doesn't even deserve Tigh. Why, Billy? Why?
"[I’m not in the brig] Because...no one put me in there?"

Kid Blink (English: “a young goat; to twinkle or wink”)
So he’s not the most polite newsie, or the nicest, or the one that would be the best partner in a romantic relationship. But he can sing. And dance. And sing. Just listen to him sing “They almost all knows how to read” at the end. But this isn’t entirely lust this time. Mostly, but not entirely. Despite his attitude toward women (a leetle too eager for that Saturday night with the mayor’s daughter...), he’s a genuinely good guy who seems most upset by Jack’s betrayal. That little bit of vulnerability really got to me.
Or maybe he’s just an angry jerk who will grow up to beat his wife and children. Who’s to say? When all else fails, he’s got a nice mug. And he can sing.
"This ain’t happening. This can’t be happening. What are you doin’ Jack? Come on, what are you doin’?"

Theodore Lawrence (Greek: "Gift of God.")
Laurie, Teddy, Boy. Whatever name he happens to be going by, the boy is... Adjectives fail me when thinking about him. He's a sweetie, a great friend, and a very good looking individual to boot (at least until he gets mauled by the Chia Pet). He certainly knows what he wants and how to get it. And I absolutely love the little finger-drumming-on-the-book- thing he did. So simple, yet so...cuh-yute!
"Someday you'll find a man, a good man, and you'll love him, and marry him, and live and die for him. And I'll be hanged if I stand by and watch."

Alexander Luthor (Greek: "Defends mankind." See! He was the hero in the prophecy! Or something...)
Oh my gosh, I’m actually going to admit to being a WB-watching teenie bopper. See the things you make me do, Lex? And yet, I love you anyway... Seriously, though, Lex is complex, intriguing, intelligent, multi-talented, loyal (but not stupidly so...), and he was honestly trying to be a good person back when he thought there might still be a chance of someone believing that he could be a good person. Even in the darkest, most nauseating stretches of the third season, he was still a uniquely interesting character. There were many times during my first viewing of the series when I had decided that the episode I was watching would be the last one I ever watched because the show was just too cheesy and stupid, and then Lex would show up for the first time in the whole episode and do something that sucked me back into the intrigue and heartbreaking pathos of his storyline. The fourth season finally kicked me of my addiction to the show, but only because all of the interesting stuff – what is Lex’s motivation today? Is he actually trying to help Clark (even though Clark is a jerk to him and ultimately made him become what he didn’t want to be)? Is Lionel completely insane, or just mostly? – all of that was pretty much destroyed when Lex decided that, yeah, he was a power-hungry jerkface because the only person who ever made an effort to be his friend turned out to be a jerkface, too, so why should he bother trying to be nice to anyone? And all that was left at that point was having everyone on the show – including Lionel, Jonathan, and (I suspect) Lois – fall madly in love with Lana. She’s obviously hot stuff; you can tell because she stares vacantly, has a breathy voice, and does that weird thing with her mouth.
Um...yeah. Sorry. That was definitely not what I meant to discuss here. But you should be proud of me – I wrote 300 words about why I love Lex Luthor and never once mentioned the fact that he is gorgeous beyond compare* and has a voice that could make a cypress go week in the knees.
* Okay, not really. I can make plenty of comparisons. But for the purposes of this entry, his face could launch a thousand ships and all that.
"I know what it's like to feel vulnerable. Trust me. Eccentric bald kids sit pretty low on the prep school totem pole."

James Robert McCrimmon (Old Spanish: "the supplanter")
Oh, how I love irony. To quote my entry on Ian, "As I write this, I have made my way up through 'The Highlanders,' but I have not yet encountered a companion that comes close to being as endearing or entertaining as Ian." And who do we meet in "The Highlanders"? Why, I believe it is the adorably cheeky Jamie McCrimmon! A lot of my love for him has to do with the fact that I absolutely adore the Second Doctor and his relationship with him, but it's not just in the relationship - Jamie is great on his own. He's a sweet, snarky, skeptically naďve (which doesn't sound possible, but he pulls it off), Scottish lad in a kilt, and I love it.
"A nip [in the air]? A nip?! Look at my knees; they're bloody blue!"

Commodore James Norrington (Hebrew: "The supplanter")
Had I not been busy being creeped out by the decade-plus age difference between Elizabeth and Norrington and more than a bit annoyed by how snotty he was to my dear Cap'n Jack, I would have been all over the Commodore's bandwagon from the start. As it is, it wasn't until my first viewing of Dead Man's Chest that I realized he was the PotC guy for me; when Beckett announced there was an execution order in Norrington's name, I instantly wanted to glomp the snarkpot. My attraction (but certainly not my pity) cooled a bit before the end of the movie and over the months that separated my first viewings of DMC and At World's End, but events of AWE guaranteed him a place in my harem. Sure, he has done some not-so-noble things, but he is a genuinely good – if somewhat desperate – man, and if Elizabeth won't have him, I certainly will...assuming I can beat all the other fangirls to it.
"So you never wondered how your latest fiancé ended up on the Flying Dutchman in the first place?"

George O’Malley (Greek: “a tiller of the soil or a farmer”)
Oh, George... I debated with myself whether or not to add him to my harem for at least a couple of months. See, I have been in love with him since he performed open-heart surgery on that guy in the elevator, but every time I finally decide to add him – and indeed, forget why I questioned my attraction to him in the first place – he does something absolutely appalling. This time is no exception. I opened a fresh Word document to start this write-up while I watched Grey’s Anatomy (because I’m always more ebullient when I’m actually watching my guys), and what is the first thing I see in the episode? George having a dream about having sex with not just Meredith...not just Meredith and Izzy...but Meredith, Izzy, and Christina. AND they were in the shower. Fine. I realize guys are dirty little perverts. All of them. Every single one. And sweet, doofy little George is no exception. But still, that’s not any excuse. So, George is here because Meredith “hesitated!”, but he’s never going to be among my top five because he’s just as disturbingly male as Alex and freaking “McDreamy.” Loserfaces.
"Apparently, God hates me."

Ford Prefect (Old English: "River Crossing." Of course, his real name is...well, unpronounceable unless you happen to speak an ancient Praxibetel tongue, which I'm willing to bet you don't. But, up until his stay on Earth, he went by Ix, which is, in the language of Betelgeuse Five, "boy who is not able to satisfactorily explain what a Hrung is, nor why it should choose to collapse on Betelgeuse Seven.")
As far as the books go, I prefer Zaphod, but, not to discredit Mark Wing-Davey (who did a marvelous job), he was upstaged by his cousin in both the miniseries AND the radio show. Geoffrey McGivern and David Dixon brought Ford’s eccentricities into sharp relief and pointed out to yours truly just how much fun the character really was (of course, they had a little help from Captain Chaotica!!, who has graciously allowed me to worship Her Ford from afar. Or afar*ther*, at least...). McGivern’s voice is beautiful and his inflections (particularly the way in which he says “terrific”) are prefect [swears to refrain from using that one again]. Dixon, too, plays the part virtually flawlessly. I was particularly impressed by his spastic behaviour, which I entirely missed in the books. Another advantage to the miniseries is the fact that one gets to see Ford’s enchanting, bright blue, nay, cerulean eyes and several prolonged close-ups on his…adorable, childish, and quite swoon-inducing face.
"If human beings don’t keep exercising their lips, their brains start working."

Reed Richards (Olde English: "Red-haired.")
Mr. Fantastic is just too nerdy for his own good. And that’s precisely why I fell for him. All of his little foibles that Susan complained about are what made me adore him. Of course, that only goes for him as a character. I would probably be just as irritated as Susan was if I were to actually be in a relationship with him. I mean, I’m too much like him for it to ever really work out. He’s definitely harem material, though.
"What I see in your relationship is what I considered the best part of ours [...] passion...for science."

Chief Galen Tyrol (Greek: "Calm.")
Tyrol is the unsung hero of Battlestar. He may not be the Viper pilot who destroyed the Cylon mining base, he may not be the hotshot who went against orders to return to Caprica to retrieve an important artifact, and he may not be the president or commander, holding the entire fleet together in such desperate times. But he is in charge of making sure the pilots can go about saving everyone, and he does an excellent job. Watching him take care of Kallie and the other young men and women under his command seriously put me in mind of a one Samwise Gamgee, and that’s never a bad association. He’s also got a relatively dry sense of humour, and an even better sense of duty – the way he handled the situation with Valerii was particularly endearing, in my opinion. Of course, I’m weird like that.
"We’ll sleep when we’re dead."

Midshipman Colin Oran Wellard (Irish Gaelic: "Child; cub" Alright. The story behind the name. They never bothered to mention his name in the miniseries, so I took it upon myself to give him one. It later came to my attention that he DID have a name in Lieutenant Hornblower - Henry. Eeew. And even if I DIDN'T dislike the name, I've already grown to like Colin. The middle name I gave him means "Pale-complexioned one")
Wellard is one of the world's more adorable characters. He fits right in there with Thomas, Ponder, Megavolt... Well, mostly Thomas. For "conspiring" against him, Captain Sawyer has the poor darlink whipped on more than one occassion (I felt almost as bad for Matthews as I did for my baby). I wonder how severely he would have been punished had he neglected to point out the torn sail. Assuming they SURVIVED, of course. This boy is pasty. I mean, you think Archie was pale in "The Dutchess and the Devil"... Wellard has about as much skin pigment as Observer. I do love that Irish blood. Still not quite as much as Welsh, but I could definitely settle for this little cutie should Lukas or Laurie fall through (^__^ You guys *do* realize I spend half of my time online looking at the pictures on these pages over and over and over...)
And as far as I'm concerned, the last fourth of the sixth episode is non-existant. What the smeg were they thinking?!
"I’m no boy, sir. And I am no coward. And I am no scarecrow that has to be tied up so he don’t bite his own shadow, sir."

Westley (Old English: “From the west meadow.”)
Dashing, sarcastic, loyal, and, above all, good looking, I don’t see how anyone can refrain from melting at the mere mention of the Dread Pirate Roberts. He’s a skosh blonde for my tastes, but he dresses in black and is an awfully good swordsman, so I can live with a minor flaw such as this.
"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something."

Willy Wonka (German: “resolute guardian”)
While everyone else in the world was falling in love with Johnny Depp’s (admittedly fantastic) portrayal of the brilliant and extraordinarily quirky chocolatier, I was being reminded why I love Gene Wilder’s Wonka. Where Johnny was awkward and off-putting, Gene was graceful and charming. Where Johnny’s Wonka was overdone and over the top, Gene’s was subtle and understated (until the bit in his office, of course). I personally find this latter method much more effective AND much more attractive. Johnny’s Wonka might be more sympathetic in the end, but Gene’s was sarcastic, multiligual, and more personable – not to mention the fact that he has beautifully bizarre eyes, an absolutely gorgeous voice, and fantastic hair (if you go for the wild, unruly look, of course). Both versions are excellent (this is actually the only instance where two film versions of the same story are both on my Favourite Movies EVER list), but when it comes to which Wonka gives me a major case of the schoolgirl giggles, it’s Wilder, hands down.
"If the good lord had intended us to walk, he wouldn’t have invented roller skates."