...if you visit a site like this.
...when you print out fanfic to read as bedtime stories.
...when the first thing out of your sister's mouth when she finds you watching something out of the ordinary is "*sigh* Where'd you find Jim Cummings now?"
...when your family threatens to disown you if you mention that name again.
...when you start asking your friends "Do you think that if Daria were real and she was our age that we would be in the same group?"
...when you start feeling depressed because "she's only a cartoon character".
...when you own 9 Chuckie dolls.
...when you sing the Darkwing Duck theme song to yourself while running the mile in athletics.
...when you have dreams involving Oblina, Ickis, and Krumm.
...when you find yourself in a heated argument about what the Rugrats will be like when they are grown.
...when you start comparing your classmates to characters in Hey Arnold!
...when you can't concentrate on your math test because the Don Karnage figurine in your pocket is stabbing your thigh with its sword.
...when you are in several fan clubs and even more mailing lists pertaining to toons.
...If your locker, binder, backpack, and bedroom walls are all covered in pics of voice actors and toons.
...when you look at your favorites list and realize that the only things you have bookmarked that aren't toon related are American Isis - your other page, The Cynic's Sanctuary - so you can gripe about the injustices to voice actors and so you can feel MORE like Daria, and Webcrawler & Snap - so you can look for more toon stuff.
...if you find yourself wondering "What would Daria do in a situation like this?"
...when you begin watching CatDog just to hear JC.
...if you truly believe that voice acting would be the perfect job (never mind the fact that you're not talented in that area!).
...if you begin spontaneously quoting Lil, Daria, Dexter, Servo, or Darkwing Duck.
...when you begin audio taping cartoons so that you may listen to them on trips where you will not have access to a TV.
...when your computer wallpaper is a giant picture of Gosalyn and Drake (when your sister doesn't change it. Leave it alone, Kelly!).
...when you are so absorbed in your argument about whether Kevin or Jesse is stupider that you fail to realize that the entire class is listening to you and the teacher is giving you the evil eye.
...if you can quote an entire conversation (or episode, for that matter) from Rugrats.
...if you're know around school as "One of those, like, weird chicks, who's, like, obsessed with, like, Daria".
...when you start spelling "coming" like Cummings.
...if you take offense when someone says that Chuckie is "the most hideous thing I have ever seen".
...if you feel triumphant whenever one of your friends or relatives correctly identifies a voice actor or connects two characters without your help.
...if Toon Disney is #1 on your Christmas list.
...if you boast that you know a Toon Quote for every occasion.
...when the first thing you notice about a different school is that they share school colors with Lawndale High.
...when you think of the Angry Beavers every time you hear the theme song to The Blob.
...if you've ever done the Tommy Sherman to a goal post (on purpose, of course).
...when you are "sort of proud" that your locker is the same hideous shade of orange as those of Lawndale High.
...if it is considered a cardinal offense in your house to laugh at the picture of Daria on the old MTV webpage before it is fully loaded and she looks like she has buck teeth (to see what I mean, go here).
...if you subconsciously slip into your Sandi voice from time to time.
…when you announce that you “hope Jane becomes a famous artist when she grows up.”
…if you refer to your ideas spiral as “The Mystik Spiral”.
…if you are no longer ashamed to practice your voice acting in public, yet you make your sister order your food for you because real people intimidate you.
…if a certain blue dog comes to mind every time you hear about a liquidation sale.
…if you are constantly sending members of your family to the store for more tapes.
…if your director has ever caught you humming the Tiny Toons theme song to yourself in band.
...when you start writing obsessive poetry about voice actors.
...if throughout the entire Clinton/Lewinski thing, you kept expecting her to say “It is Ro-monica!”
…if you have ever seriously considered padding your walls.
…if you change all of the sounds on your computer to DWD quotes and you refuse to shut Quackie up, even if he is driving everyone insane by anouncing that "It's playtime!!" every 10 minutes.
...when you start using voice actors as mnemonic devices.
...if you have ever been shocked that someone has five fingers.
...when you get Mystic Spiral and/or Dino Spumoni songs stuck in your head.
...when your friends refuse to humor you anymore.
...if you accidentally call your teacher Mr. DeMartino.
...if you accidentally call your teacher Mr. Daria.
...if you freequently use the phrase "GAH D****T!"
...if you seriously considered reverting to glasses after seeing "Through a Lens Darkly"
...when, for fun, you and three of your closest friends engage in a "serious" discussion about exactly what shade of green that velveteen scrunchie is. Daily.
...if you have ever said "TDIF!" (Thank Daria it's Friday).
...if you spend hours on end trying to figure out how Jane gets her hair to stick out like that.
...when you get into a fist fight over whether Daria or Jane is better for Tom.
...if you've created a Fantasy Harem at Animated Lust (Rated PG!).
...if, after waiting a couple of months, you go to see The Road to El Dorado and either a) Count the number of times you hear Jim Cummings, b) Drool over Tulio, or c) Squeal in delight everytime Bibo comes on (you get extra points if you can match each of us to our crimes).
...if you beg for the TRtED movie poster from a theatre...and get it.
...if you and your four closest friends call yourselves The Fearsome Five.
...when you find yourself doodling "Helga 
's Arnold" on your binder.
...when a box of light bulbs goes missing, everyone in the house looks to you.
...if you get physically sick during the Daria drought.
...if you tell the movers that if anything happens to any of your Disney movies, you will kill them.
...if you have ever beaten anyone up because they attempted to flush your DW/Ratcatcher flashlight.
...if you've ever filled out one of those survey cards with St. Canard or Lawndale in the "City" blank.
...when you name your trill keys and/or combat boots after cartoon characters.
...if, when assigned to make decorations for a Halloween dance, you make ghosts in the likenesses of Jane and Trent, then go on a rescue mission to save them from the evil music halfway through.
...if you become absorbed in a conversation about whether or not Daria would have been stupid enough to throw her story in "Write Where it Hurts" in Jane's trash can.
...if you frequently buy kid's meals for the toy, but only if it's a cartoon character.
...if you actually gag down the nasty hamburger to get said toy.
...if your cheese intake tripled after seeing GMD.
...if you've ever corrected anyone who said Crackerjack when they weren't talking about the duck.
...if you can't stand it when people pronounce "basil" with a long a, despite the fact that they are referring to the spice.
...if, before watching a bad movie, you and two friends claim the first three seats in the front row, decide who will sit in which position, and make sure that each of you stays in character throughout the whole thing.
...if, while watching Mitchell, you noticed what the villain's name was. And it pestered the snot out of you.
...if you've ever called a piece of paper a "pressed wood pulp plane."
...when you can (and do!) quote a movie that Joe Estivez "starred" in.
...if one or more of your computer sounds involves either Joe Don Baker or Tor Johnson.
...if a cartoon character played a deciding factor as to which foreign language you are taking (thanks for the help, Tuls)
...if you found the transcript for the last MST ep, Diabolik, on MSTies Anon and read it.
...if you were crying by the time you were done.
...if you enjoy getting an electric shock.
…if you can sing “The Canada Song” and/or “The Garbage Man Can” from memory, changing your voice at the appropriate times, and do quite frequently.
...if you make anyone desiring to borrow your DWD comics (thanks, Draca!) and/or videos enter into a legal agreement in which damaging the merchandise in any way is punishable by death.
...when, while watching a particularly bad movie in Spanish, a row of theater seats suddenly appears at the bottom of the screen.
...if said image is burned into your retinas, such that a white version is constantly along the bottom of your vision (could also symbolize your view of life).
...when, after discovering the sale on MST videos over at Satellite News, you lose what little sanity you still had and blow your babysitting assets for the next month.
...if you then find yourself relating the incident to Crow's behavior in Devil Doll.
...and take comfort in this comparison.
...if you’ve ever replicated scenes from Monty Python: Quest for the Holy Grail in Legos. (Don’t believe it’s been done? Click here)
...when you spend days searching for an order for the Bridge of Death scene such that your two favorite “kuh-nig-its” don’t die.
...if you shout loudly at the screen, encouraging them to proceed in said order (“No, Robin! Volunteer Bedevere!”).
...if you finally, after much expensive therapy, come to terms with Sir Galahad’s death. After all, he finally got some of that peril that that mean ole Launcelot wouldn’t let him have, right?
…when you spend your spare time committing The Lumberjack Song to memory.
…if you can say only one phrase in an even semi-decent British accent: “And now for something completely different.”
…if you’ve ever accidentally typed “Palin” instead of “Plain.”
...when you find yourself wanting a Subaru Forrester "Just because".
...when driving on the left side of the road or having the driver's seat on the right side of the car suddenly seems natural to you. And you're American.
...if you mantain a database of over 100 voice actor birthdays, but yet you can't remember your best friend's.
...if your science fair project involves a middle-aged, midwestern man, a large collection of Jim Carrey movies, and a pair of neon green, translucent goggles.
...when you puzzle everyone in your group by slipping and saying that you have a container of chips when you're clearly holding french fries.
...you, weekend after May 11th, huge chocolate binge. Need I say more?
...when you find yourself engaged in a discussion about the episode number of Prince of Space.
...if your computer has, for any length of time, sported one of the nifty wallpaper sets at MontyPython.net
...if you know, to the minute, the exact length of time between when you saw The Road to El Dorado and when you saw Shrek.
...if this is because you have the ticket stubs tacked to your wall.
...this.
...if you made those (or some similar).
...if the purple flowers in The Tale of Sir Robin made your day.
...if you carry a stuffed Sulley with you everywhere you go. And you're in high school.
...if crack up everytime your math teacher says "four x".
...if your entire family knows all of the major plot points in every Discworld book, but you're the only one who has read any of them.
...if you not only know how to spell the name of the young pharaoh/assassin in Pyramids, but you know his Ephebian numeral, too.
...when you spend more time with Photoshop than with your other friends.
...if you purchased The Eagles' "One of These Nights" solely for "Journey of the Sorcerer."
...if the only thing better than listening to "Santa Fe" all day is listening to Jeff Bennett sing in harmony with himself all day.
...if you watch MadTV solely to see Phil LaMarr and Nicole Sullivan.
...when you start to think of other cars on the road as "Tucker," "Griff," "Tex," and other Red vs. Blue characters, depending on their colours.
...if you have ever applied a Barenaked Ladies song, line by line, to your own life.
...when you start to actually see a resemblance between Terrance and Phillip and Steve and Ed.
...if it didn't even dawn on you that "Steve and Ed" might be referring to someone other than Steven Page and Ed Robertson.
...when you finally break down and create a web page about this stuff.
These are from Cindy Mellon
...if you think that TK & JT are, truly, THE perfect couple.
...if you find yourself saying something that starts like "And then she..." about Dexter.
...if you're dubbed "The Walking TV Guide" because of your public speaking speech on cartoons in reading class.
...if your nickname is a cartoon character.
...if you find yourself writing "TK" on a sheet of paper 128 times.
...if you list all the voice actors you can think of on a sheet of paper.
...if you come up with around 83.
...if you consider that to be a really small amount.
...when you've contributed nearly 70 credits to fuzzy.com--for TK alone.
...if you start calling the PowerPuff Girls Catherine, Tara, and Elizabeth.
...if 99% of what you look up on search-engines is cartoon and/or voice actor related.
...if most of what you doodle during class is cartoon characters.
...if you draw Professor Utonium saying, "Have you noticed how much I have in common with the Talking Dog?"
...if you consider that your "Tribute to Craig McCracken."
...if you start calling VA's by their initials because you get sick of saying and/or writing their names.
...if you write "The F.U.N Song" on your doodle paper.
...if your fave music video is "Tonight, Tonight" by the Smashing Pumpkins, mostly because TK & JT are in it.
...if you currently oppose Jane Seymour for taking the beloved video off of The List for "Best Direction in a Video."
...if you make character lists for VA's.
...if you like a guy because he sounds sort of like TK.
...if you tell your classmates to never take the name of SpongeBob in vain.
...when you're bummed for liking another guy for too long, you think to yourself, "Remember, Helga's loved Arnold for 6 years now, so I shouldn't worry too much."
...when you dream of the "Tonight, Tonight" video.
...if you pray every night to win the Rugrats in Paris contest.
...if you actually cried when you saw "In Loving Memory of David Doyle" on Rugrats.
...if you find a sudden urge to stay up all night after you find out TK's an insomniac.
And a story from Cindy:
We had this trial thing in reading class last year, and we had to choose our names.
I was the defendant, being accused of...I forget what, and I chose the name Christine Cavanaugh because I knew no one in the class knew who she was. No one caught on to it, even when I cracked up every time one of my fellow court members called me "Ms. Cavanaugh".
A story from Dawn:
I was telling my boss, Mary, that I tried to get my mom to have a DW cake made for me for my b-day next week. (We have a friend that makes professional ones in her spare time) Anyway, Mary goes on a says that she might go to a specialty shop to find a cooked duck. Then she was going to put a little DW hat on it. Personally I would probably freak out at that.
These were contributed by Draca:
...if you carry around a PVC Darkwing at all times. Even to school.
...if you refer to your mom as 'Negaduck', your brother as 'the Liquidator', and your car (which has a Megavolt PVC on the dashboard) as 'Sparky'.
...if you yell loudly, 'Look! It's Darkwing!' everytime you see a duck.
...when you spend half an hour raving about being out-bidded at Ebay for the video Comic Book Capers to two of your friends who have no idea what you are talking about. (I did finally win a bid----the CBC tape should come in a week!)
...when you find yourself posting at a D.W. message board instead of studying for finals.
…if you re-mortgage your house so that you can afford that highly-priced Darkwing plushie on eBay.
…when you draw doodles of Darkwing on the rough drafts of your essays----and you're in college.
…if the thought of eating duck really makes you feel ill.
…if your goal in life, after collecting all the episodes on tape, is to fully commit to memory each line.
…if you call people by the Darkwing-character names you associate with them.
…if none of these things sound particularly weird to you.
Erebos' contributions:
…if you keep forgetting that 'The Cute Little Lost Bunnies' isn't a real tv show.
…if you have a weird obsession with chain saws.
…when in photog, you get mad at the teacher and yell 'I've had it with these volital creative types!'
…when you scare your new Russian coworker by asking her how to say "That foolish duck will pay for his wrecklessness!" in Russian.
These are courtesy of Lady J:
…if, in high school, you ever dressed up as Drake (pink oxford, green sweater vest, white walking shorts, gold tights)
…if you tended to wear the gold tights and DW t-shirt every other day.
…if you are turned on when someone “talks Darkwing” to you-- let's get dangerous, baby :).
Here's LL's confession:
I've just started my new job at the Port Washington Soundview Cinema. I'm manning the concession stand 40 hours a week. My shoes are slippery. And guess what I found out. There really is a Liquidator Enterprises. The soda towers are made by Liquidator Enterprises. Isn't that weird?
I talk to it. I tell The Liquidator to behave and give me enough ice. Several times the Liquidator machine makes the sodas overflow, so I have to be real nice to it.
And Mainecoon's:
This is a true story of the kind of insanity that ensues when parents force their children to clean the basement at 10:00 at night. The following drama occurred some time around midnight, when my sister and I were somewhat over half way done with our task of clearing the back room of its entire contents...
Here's how it all began: My younger sister and I were attempting to get all of my stuff out of the back room in the basement. My 'stuff' consists of a collection of animal figurines that has been steadily growing in number for about 12 years, a library of bizarre books, and papers I've been saving--some date back to before I was born! The task given to us was to clear the room so the electrician guys could put a big hole in the wall. Lovely.
Well it came to pass that I discovered one of my old lightbulbs. hehehe. We keep the lightbulbs in the basement too, though my meddling has raised occasional confusion over which ones work and which ones have been confiscated from burnt out lamps. Well this particular lightbulb happened to be a burnt out one, probably left over from when the electric guys had gone through the house and fixed all the lights we never figured out how to use when we got the house. There's my dad for ya.
So anyway, it was late, and I was fairly hyper. If you haven't guessed where this story is heading, you need to brush up on your DW history.
It THEN came to pass that I decided to ignore my sister completely, because she was annoying me and INSISTED on keeping some trashy television show blaring in the next room, and speak only to the lightbulb. I actually spoke at great length to the lightbulb, and addressed it as various terms of endearment. At the height of this charade, I found a red plastic bowl and put it on my head.
Well, since my sister is the stubborn type, she refused to turn of the television, so I refused to stop speaking to my soul mate (though I did eventually take the bowl off my head, mostly because it was hot and kept falling over my eyes).
My sister has flatly refused to call me anything other than 'Elmo' since then.
And I actually ENJOY that!!! Am I pathetic or what?? ;-)
One from Niniane:
I recently had to work with on a group project with two friends at school. I was appointed group leader by the instructor. As group leader, I appointed myself the layout person, one friend as the illustrator, the other as the PhotoShop expert, and..... Negaduck as the 'chainsaw consultant' in case somebody started to slack off. Only the illustrator knew about him, though, since she's always around when I'm posting here. She had seen the cartoon when it was on the Disney Afternoon and knew what my weirdness was about. She went along with my dementia to humor me, I guess. Only once did I threaten her with Neg's wrath when she forgot her work at home. I don't know if she was acting afraid for my benefit or really afraid that this crazy person would stab her with a pencil.
Roaming Tigress's say in the whole matter:
…when you demand your local Wal-Mart to order a Darkwing
uniform in adult size.
…if you have a rather large stash of lightbulbs.
…if you have about 10 different ideas for a Darkwing
movie, and you write to Disney with these ideas.
…when you contribute to lists like these.
…if you write letters to Disney suggesting they make a
Darkwing soundtrack.
…when you strike up conversations about DWD and you don't
care if anyone's paying attention to you or not; you
just babble on!
…if you strongly agree that *there is* a St. Canard out
there and that you just haven't gotten around to
visiting it.
…if you've ever lost sleep wondering just how Steelbeak got his
steel beak.
…when, after listening to songs that aren't at all Darkwing
related, you get the lyrics to the songs and
change them so they are DWD-related and you can
picture the character singing the song or whatever.
…if you work at the Disney store for the sole purpose of
being the first to get your grubby little paws on any
DWD merchandise that comes through.
…if you think that Disney's mascot should be a Darkwing
character instead of Mickey Mouse.
…when you watch The Lion King and have a strange,
strong urge to replace the Lion King characters with
Darkwing characters for no apparent reason.
These were from Voodoo Doll.
...if, whenever you and your brother play this computer game (Heroes of Might and Magic) and you have to sail around in boats, you sing the pirate song that Negaduck makes the Fearsome Five sing.
...when you and your siblings go to the thieves guilds to see where you rate on the Army Strength part and ALWAYS end up calling each other Dr. Slug, Negaduck, or Megavolt according to what position you hold.
...if you used Darkwing lines on your American Heritage test. (Well, I used some Dark City phrases too, but...)
...if, when your Physical Science prof. says that pirates didn't know about wave infraction, you reply, 'I bet the Darkwing Doubloon did!'
...when you make your brother spend hours analyzing the Negaverse and Darkwingverse with you during Geography.
...if you've ever drawn the Fearsome Five on your sidewalk with chalk...and you're 21!
...if you've convinced all of your friends that Negaduck is the perfect role model for kids today.
Two humorous stories from Voodoo Doll:
So, this week I'm going to help my sister move to Seattle, right? Anyway, she has this black truck and the day we (my sisters and I) were drawing the DW characters on the driveway, we asked her if we could draw on her truck. She said that if we got that washable paint that we could paint Negaduck on it. About a week later, I asked her if she was serious. She said, 'Yeah, but let's do it for our drive to WA.' So we put good ol' Negs on the back window of her truck's shell! He looks great! I'll have to take a picture for you guys.
My other sis (the one that I've recently converted) had to make a sign for the computer resource help desk at her work. She put a big picture of Negs with a chainsaw on a sign that says, 'What can I FIX for you today?!' She said that it was around the time that the 'I love you' virus was going around and someone at her work opened it. The IS guys love it and won't take it down! So in the middle of everything in the computer department (which is the largest in her company) of Weider Nutrition International's Headquarters (you know, the people that put out all those fitness mags) there is a pic of Negs. hee, hee! My sis told me that it rivals the cardboard cutout of Joe Weider that they have.
Similar lists:
Early Signs of the Voldemort Gene
You Know You Watch Too Much Daria When...
Tell Tale Signs That You Are Obsessed With Megavolt
You Know You're Obsessed With Daria and Trent's Relationship When...
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