Insight into anti-society

My best friends little brother had to do a report for his 8th grade class ,the assignment was to intervue a person outside of accepted society. Naturally he picked me. (I was deeply touched) this is a transcript of the intervue enjoy!
Damn I'm hurtin' for some new shit to put on this page...

Aaron: Are you REALLY this grumpy?
Dante: You bet your pampered BUTT I am!

Aaron: Why?
Dante: Why not? If everyone was perky this would be an extremely annoying planet

Aaron: What religion are you?
Dante: I'm one of the founding members of "The brotherhood of the 7th sign" we worship a giant brine shrimp named "Lord Brino"

Aaron: Why do you smoke so much?
Dante: It's dangerous to be too healthy.

Aaron: Then you are also a meat eater?
Dante: I'm up to about a herd of cattle a week.

Aaron: That's a lot of meat!
Dante: There are a lot of cows out there.

Aaron: You have some distict Native American features. Are you Native?
Dante: Yes I am in fact.

Aaron: What's my spirit animal?
Dante: Don't mess with me boy! I'll whup you till your parents hurt!

Aaron: Is the "Unemployment boy" autobiographical?
Dante:Absolutely not, it's the epitomy of Utopian literature.

Aaron: UTOPIAN!? He's a short fused unpredictable sociopath!
Dante: Chaos makes life fun, or at least more interesting.

Aaron: How would you like it if he snapped and killed someone you love?
Dante: Uhm... He's a cartoon character, he's incapable of killing anyone.

Aaron: You seem to have a lot of anger issues, is there anything you DO like?
Dante: Beer...beer and cigarettes... beer, cigarettes, and meat.

Aaron: Anything else?
Dante:Sex...sex is grand.

Aaron: I've heard you talk about it, I know you don't like sex without some sort of caring behind it. Is that true?
Dante:If you heard me talking about it then don't ask!

Aaron: Sorry.
Dante: No worries, please continue.

Aaron: You seem to be very nihilistic, what would you do to make the world a batter place?
Dante: I'd market unscented perfume.

Aaron: Unscented perfume?! But...
Dante: Don't think about it too hard Junior, you'll hurt yourself.

Aaron: HEY! I'll have you know I made the honor roll twice last year
Dante: It wasn't a comment on your intelligence. Let me put it this way, try to comprehend infinity for a few minutes

Aaron: *Thinking* ouch! ok, point made.
Dante: Thank you.

Aaron: What do you want out of life?
Dante: Cheetos

Aaron: Cheetos?
Dante: YES! the cheese that goes crunch! I want Cheetos!

Aaron: There has to be something else!
Dante: Not right now I haven't eaten in 2 days.

Aaron: Well our time is about up so...
Dante: What are you a therapist?

Aaron: Huh?
Dante: Never mind

Aaron: ANYWAY! Our time is up, any last comments?
Dante: Yes popular society creates people like me and we feed off of them, it's symbiotic, except for the fact that people like me are more likely to destroy them. So I suppose it's more parasitic.

Aaron: Uhm, I'm sure the football team and cheerleading squad will be happy to hear that.
Dante: I'm sure the football team and cheerleading squad won't know what Symbiotic & Parasitic mean!

Aaron: Quite...


(This is where the tape recording turned off.)