Christopher lived in a house in New York City. One day he got bored, so he made a tape of Loony Goonies (a cartoon movie). He liked this movie, so he watched it one million and forty three times. Ben was his neighbor, and he was sick of hearing the Loony Goonies soundtrack. So he bought the movie from Christopher for 50 dollars, so he wouldn't have to hear it anymore. But it looked interesting, so he watched it. He liked it, so he watched it 1,000,350.5 times (on mute).

The next day, Christopher was eating a delicious, mouthwatering, soft, moist, yummy, poppy seed bagel. It had delicious, mouthwatering, soft, moist, cream cheese with yummy herbs spread all over it. Suddenly, cartoon eyes appeared in his eye sockets. A cartoon smile appeared in his mouth. Then all of a sudden, his whole body turned into a cartoon. He literally started bouncing off the walls. He had something in his ear. He tilted his head and hit his head with his hand. A cow and a dead fish popped out. "I'm a cartoon!" he exclaimed.

Over at Ben's house, Ben was eating a squishy, gooey, warm, dead fish. Then suddenly, he turned into a dead cartoon fish! He couldn't move! He was dead! But because of toxic chemicals from a recent space shuttle launch, he turned into a living, breathing, dead cartoon fish! (I know, I know, It doesn't make sense.)

Later that day, Ben the dead cartoon fish and Christopher the crazy, kooky, cartoon kid stole a big truck. They filled it with copies of Loony Goonies. Then they drove around and gave a copy to anyone they came across. Soon 99.3% of all the people in the city were cartoon zombies, or living, breathing, DEAD CARTOON FISH! The assorted cartoons joined forces with Christopher and a dead fish (also known as Ben). They went to the TV broadcasting station, and took over. Suddenly all the couch potatoes of the world, or anyone who happened to be watching a television, saw Loony Goonies on the screen. Then Christopher and Ben the dead fish canceled Rush Limbaugh, because A: they didn't like him; B: he was the only thing that could turn them back into normal people; and C: he was not a cartoon.

BJ Mann was watching TV, when suddenly instead of The Three Scrooges, Loony Goonies appeared on the screen. He changed the channel, it was Loony Goonies !! Even the Home Shopping Channel was selling Loony Goonies collectables! "Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I must stop these villains!" said BJ. He stopped by Herbie's room. Herbie had turned on his radio, because he was running around with his headphones on. "Herbie! Turn off that music!" Herbie could not hear him. "Herbie! Turn off that music!" Herbie still could not hear him. This he repeated several more times. Finally, Herbie realized BJ was talking to him.

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you. I must turn off my music."

"Herbie, I need your help!"

"What do you need me for?"

"I need you to jump off a building."

"Duh, okay!" BJ changed into Bad Joke Man, and Herbie changed into Super Herbie. They went to a high building. The reason Bad Joke Man asked Herbie to jump off the building, is because he wanted to go into space, but since his anti-grav device was busted, he wanted Super Herbie to jump on the end of a big spoon, of which Bad Joke Man was on the other end. But since he didn't have a space suit, he covered himself in Saran Wrap. Super Herbie jumped off the building, and landed on the other end of the spoon, hurling Bad Joke Man into the air, and eventually into space. He pulled out his fish-on-a-stick from his utility belt. Using it he smashed all the TV satellites. VWOOOMP! Bad Joke Man Could here the faint sound of TV's all around the world turning off. No more TV!

Suddenly, he started burning up, he was reentering the atmosphere! The Saran Wrap melted, and as the heat increased, it seemed to form the letters, LOONY GOONIES, as it fell off of Bad Joke Man in big globs. Then all of the sudden it froze as it contacted the freezing Antarctic water. Bad Joke Man was encased in a hard shell of frozen Saran wrap and seawater. He couldn't move! Millions of dead fish surrounded him on all sides, and they seemed to chant "LOONY GOONIES, LOONY GOONIES". He thought he was going mad, so, knowing he was being read about, he reached up to mess up his hair to look like a mad man. But he couldn't move his hand!

Many miles away, Herbie was walking, when he heard a bald guy with hot tea on his head say " your friend is in danger. He is in Antarctica, and he is frozen in ice and Saran Wrap."

"How do you know all this?"

"The tea on my head has the knowledge of the great, almighty, Guanimanakiwifrootloopdedoopkoonoomoomoocowmilkcerealdog*."

"What a long name. Who is Guanimanakiwifrootloopdedoopkoonoomoomoo-cowmilkcerealdog, anyway?"

"He's a slab of bacon** I met in college."

"How did you meat*** a pig in college?"

"Through the meat processor****"

Herbie flew on a flying pig***** to the spot where Bad Joke Man was frozen in the ice. He landed on the ice. He took out a spoon and filled it with sugar, and set it on the ice. A giant bottle of medicine slammed down on the ice.******

WHAM!!

The ice cracked, and Bad Joke Man escaped.

"Thanks li'l buddy."

"You're welcome." And with that they flew away full speed on a flying cow*******. Back at home, they disgust*** cruel plans to turn the cartoons and the dead fish back to normal people.********* "Ah ha!***********" Herbie exclaimed. He explained his plan to Bad Joke Man. They put their plan into action.

3 hours later

Ben the dead fish looked up. He saw a giant billboard. It said: Fat clown, this way --->. He signaled for the others to follow him. It was quite a funny thing to see, considering he was a dead fish. The others followed the sign (no one can resist a fat clown) and about 20 other signs. It led them eventually to a garage door, the Mann family garage door to be exact, but of course, they don't know that. They entered they saw two signs they could only read the first one now, though, because it was quite dark in there. It said: Fat clown, this way --->. they all followed the sign, and then they read the second one. RUN! ---> They all ran until they stepped on the trigger. It pulled a string that pulled out a platform, causing a bowling ball to roll down a ramp. Meanwhile, all the cartoons were being forced through pipes. (Hey, they're cartoons. They do this all the time.)The pipe let them all out in a room with a big screen TV and a speaker. the bowling ball rolled down the ramp until it landed on a VCR remote. It turned on the VCR, and the VCR had a video with exactly 24 episodes of RUSH LIMBAUGH, to last exactly 24 hours. The VCR was connected to the TV by a wire, so all the cartoons had to watch RUSH LIMBAUGH! If you can remember, Rush Limbaugh is the only thing that can turn cartoon zombies and dead cartoon fish back to normal. So later when every person had gotten turned back to human again, Bad Joke Man let them out and erased all loony Goonies Videos. Then he bought new satellites. All is well now. Bad Joke Man and Super Herbie were very tuckered out due to fighting crime, so they took a nice long nap. And as for the makers of Loony Goonies, they went to court, but were not sued because the judge could not think of a reason to sue them. And remember, "A bad joke is a goood joke."

*email him at cerealdog@cerealdog.com

**A pig.

***A pun.****

****Laugh now.

*****What else would you do on a flying pig? Eat?!?!

******A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down.

*******What else would you do on a flying cow? Eat?!?!********

********Are we taking a lame joke too far?

*********Hey, this is a story here. Anything is possible.

**********A palindrome.****

By Ben Weintraub, Christopher Dreyer, and A.J. Baylis