Elder God: Ah, my wayward child returns.
Raziel: No. it's me. Not that I believe you really do have a kid. I mean, for you to be a father, someone would have to have s...EEEWWWW! I really wish I hadn't thought of that! That mental image is going to haunt me for the rest of the series!
Elder God: Shut up, Raziel.
Raziel: OK, think of something else. I know! The murals! They're just interesting enough to take my mind off...the subject. Hey, squid-face, what about those murals, eh?
Elder God: Lies of a dead civilisation. They exist to mislead you, to divert you from your true destiny.
Raziel: You mean like block puzzles?
Elder God: Raziel, listen very...very...carefully...STOP OBSESSING OVER THOSE STUPID BLOCK PUZZLES!!! Mention them one more time and the arc of your destiny will reach a sudden conclusion.
Raziel: What? The series will end without finishing the story? The fans won't be happy!
Elder God: You are really starting to get on my nerves, Raziel.
Raziel: So? I'm way beyond your reach up here!
Elder God: My reach is farther than you think.
Raziel: Sure it is, slimy-face...
Raziel's taunts are interrupted when a brick flies out of the water and smacks him in the face.
Elder God: See? Told you!
Raziel limps out, clutching his face. The injury isn't helped by this as he had the Reaver turned on, and he promptly slices his own head off, causing him to return to the Spectral Plane. Our winged(-ish) hero spends a few hours seeking a portal to the Material realm, then strolls off as if he hadn't just made a complete fool of himself...
Raziel: Stupid weapon...this never happens to Buffy! Still, I like to think I'm more attractive than her.
Raziel spends the next hour or so trudging back to the Sarafan fortress and infiltrating the Light Forge. Several Thralls killed and puzzles that occasionally stroll a little too close to the block variety later, and the occasional musing over murals, Raziel comes out with a new Light-imbued Reaver.
Raziel: Finally, armed with the elemental power of Light, I had the means to re-enter the Stronghold and make use of the Time-Streaming Chamber. At least, assuming that firing a bolt of light at those weird red crystal thingies will actually make the doors open. I mean, I've got absolutely no reason to think that doing that would work, and frankly, I don't see why the Sarafan would lock doors with devices that only the most powerful weapon of their enemies could unlock. Still, may as well give it a go. Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky and it'll turn out that the Sarafan were actually a bunch of surrealists.
Suprisingly, Raziel's plan works. He marches into the Stronghold, pausing only to tear apart the odd warrior, and eventually finds himself in the big hall some way in. Nearby, some luckless guard has been killed and drained of blood. Only one being could have done such an act...
Raziel: Dracula! He's here? Wow, I wonder if he'll sign my book...
Raziel looks up. Above the head of the corpse, written in blood on the wall, are the words "Moron! Guess again!"
Raziel: Kain?
Kain: In here, Raziel.
Raziel follows the voice into William's Chapel.
Raziel: But...how did you get into the Stronghold without the Light Reaver?
Kain: I got my hand stamped the last time I was here.
Raziel: Oh. I guess I shouldn't have killed the doorman on my way out...
Kain: Anyway, Everything is decided here. You cannot comprehend the magnitude - the rapture and the tragedy - of this moment. And yet you must if Nosgoth is to be dragged from the wreckage of its damnation.
Raziel: Magnets? Are they used to make the coin land on the edge?
Kain: Eh???
Raziel: As always, I don't understand what you're going on about. I understand only this, Kain - that you and Moebius have impelled me to this moment simply means that I can trust neither of you. I don't know who's pulling the strings, but it no longer matters - because I'm cutting them.
Raziel leaps over to the orchestra playing the rather excellent background music for the scene, cuts the strings of the lead violin, and kills the violinist just to make a point.
Kain: If only it were that simple.
Raziel: You're right - the music hasn't changed. It must have been digitised already.
Kain: We have troubles larger than those presented by mere music.
Raziel: Your fatalism is tiresome, Kain.
Kain: And profoundly ingrained, Raziel. You must understand, our presence here doesn't alter history. You and I meet here because we are compelled to - we have always met here.
Raziel: No we haven't. Remember that time you ordered me and the other five Vampires you made to meet you in the Red Rose Brothel to plan our attack on that human stronghold?
Kain: That doesn't count.
Raziel: Only because you stood us up! What kind of Vampire Lord are you, making his most powerful minions wait for three days in a Brothel! The humans were laughing at us for weeks!
Kain: Look, the point I'm trying to make is that History is irredeemable. Drop a stone into a rushing river, and the current simple courses around it, flowing as if the obstruction were never there. You and I are pebbles, Raziel, and have even less hope of disrupting the Timestream. The continuum of history is simply too strong, too resilient.
Raziel: Wait a sec, let me remember all these things you're telling me. So far, we've got at least one coin, a net, a story, and now this river place. I should have brought a notebook.
Kain: Except... then how do we explain William, here?
Raziel: Well, one day, his mummy and daddy, who were very much in love...
Kain: Stop right there, or I'll have to kill you.
Raziel: I've been killed twice now. It's starting to lose its threatening aura...
Kain: ANYWAY, in my youth, I witnessed William's rise to power and his transformation into the "Nemesis" who laid waste to Nosgoth.
Kain lifts up the physical reaver from William's casket and steps towards Raziel.
Raziel: Don't even think about it, Kain...
Kain: Years later, I stumble upon a chance to journey back in history, unaware that the entire affair has been orchestrated by Moebius. In my wisdom, I seize this opportunity to murder the young king before he can ravage Nosgoth, and thereby provide the catalyst Moebius needs to ignite a genocidal war against our race.
Raziel: I'm warning you, Kain, I'm a red belt in Tae-Kwon-Do...
Kain: This one reckless act unravels the flow of history. The Nemesis never becomes the Nemesis. William dies a martyred saint. I, the Vampire assassin, become the author of my own species' destruction. And Moebius profits from it all. I destroyed a tyrant only to create one far worse. But how can it be so? How, if history is immutable? The answer is here in this room, Raziel. Moebius propelled William and me together - but ensured first that we were both armed with the Soul Reaver. The Reaver is the key. Two incarnations of the blade meet in time and space... a paradox is created, a temporal distortion powerful enough to derail history.
Raziel: I feel like I'm trapped in an episode of Star Trek: Voyager...
Suddenly, Raziel's Wraith Reaver appears, and starts waving around like it was drunk at a rock concert. At the same time, a strange sense of vertigo is felt in the Chapel.
Raziel: What are you doing?!
Kain: I'm not. You are. You have nothing to fear from me, Raziel. You hold all the cards.
Raziel: Are you blind?! This is a bloody great big magical sword, not the Three of Clubs!
Kain gives his Soul Reaver to Raziel, who promptly holds it to Kain's throat.
Raziel: If what you say is true, you should be terrified. I could kill you here and now.
Kain: You do.
The Reavers lunge at Kain of their own free will, stabbing him in the chest. Thankfully, the blow is turned aside by the framed photo of Angelina Jolie that Kain was wearing under his cloak, but next time he won't be so lucky...
Raziel: What's happening?
Kain: We are hurtling toward our destinies, Raziel. What you feel is the pull of history rushing to meet us. This is where history and destiny collide.
Raziel: I'll ask you again - what's happening?
Kain: If you truly believe in free will, Raziel, now is the time to prove it. Kill me now, and we both become pawns of history, dragged down the path of an artificial destiny. I was ordained to assume the role of Balance Guardian in Nosgoth, while you were destined to be its savior. But the map of my fate was redrawn by Moebius, and so in turn was yours.
Raziel: It's hard enough trying to control this thing without having to translate your rants into English, you know!
Kain: Fight it, Raziel... This moment does not have to be an ending - it can become a prelude.
Raziel: You mean to Soul Reaver 3? It was bad enough with that cliffhanger ending in the first game, but this would be a really suck place to finish this one!
Raziel heaves up the blade and , against his will, brings it stabbing down towards Kain. At the last second, he manages to divert its course, and smashes the sword into William's tomb. He and Kain breathe a sigh of relief, and then leap back in fright as the tomb opens from within. William looks at Kain in anger, then down to where the Soul Reaver is sticking out of his chest.
William: Aww no...not again...
William collapses back into his tomb, dead. (Again)
Kain: Poor William.
Raziel: Wimp. The number of times I've been impaled, dissolved, beheaded, and a load of other things, and you don't hear me complaining!
Suddenly, the vertigo reaches a new level, the room seeming to shake itself apart in the grip of the chaos.
Raziel: What is this..?
Kain: History abhors a paradox, Raziel. Even now, the time-stream strains to divert itself, finding its old course blocked by your refusal to destroy me. The future is reshuffling itself to accomadate your monumental decision.
Raziel: Will there be cake involved? Changing the course of history can work up an appetite.
The vertigo returns to normal.
Kain: This is where we restore ourselves, Raziel, and reclaim our intended destinies. It may yet be possible for me to assume my role as Balance Guardian and return the Pillars to their rightful inheritors...
Raziel: The Vampires? I don't know what game you and Moebius are playing, Kain - but I refuse to be your car.
Kain: My car..?
Raziel: I don't like Chess. I always liked Monopoly better.
Kain: Oh. Well, that makes sense...no. No, it makes no sense at all!
Raziel: Now you know what it feels like! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm outta here!
Raziel walks off.
Kain: Remember - Moebius led you here, but you walk away unfettered. A champion of free will, and conqueror of false histories. There is much more for you to unearth, if you have the heart for the truth and the will to see it...
Raziel leaves. A few moments pass. Kain looks around the Chapel, bored. Eventually, he whips out his Gameboy again.
Kain: Right, Let's see if I've got the hang of Tetris yet. I don't know, I've been around for millenia and I still can't get past level 4...
Raziel makes his way to the Time Chamber, and unlocks it. He is just about to enter when Moebius bursts in, wearing a blue and white striped nightshirt and nightcap, and holding a candle and a small teddy bear.
Moebius: What the hell was all that noise just then...Raziel?! But...but...
Raziel: Ah yes, I like the look on your face, Moebius. You really don't know what to do now, do you? And the sight of you with that teddy bear opens up all sorts of new and exciting possibilities in the area of blackmail...
Moebius: Kain's devious influence as poisoned your mind, Raziel. Now you see teddy bears everywhere, even in your closest allies.
Raziel: We were never allies, Moebius. Well, maybe when I was human, as I can't remember that life. But I can't believe that I'd ever have been friends with someone who carries around Winnie the Pooh.
Moebius: His name is Cuddles, not Winnie the Pooh! Er, I mean, why didn't you kill Kain just now? He was at your mercy!
Raziel: No he wasn't, he was in the Chapel. And now your plans are all falling apart, all because I decided to exert my will for once, rather than obey the demands of sorcerers and spirits and demons all singing the same tiresome theme tune to Mary Poppins.
Moebius: But you condemn us all with this impetuous act!
Raziel: I deemed Mary Poppins a greater threat than Kain, old man.
Moebius: Raziel, do not forget your purpose here - you are destined to be the savior of Nosgoth!
Raziel: Nah, can't be bothered. I'm too busy trying to find this legendary coin I keep hearing about. Go - in there. And if there are any block puzzles in this room, it will go very hard on you...
Raziel shoves Moebius into the Time Chamber.
Raziel: Operate the device, and send me to a time before the Sarafan began their crusade.
Moebius: And what about Kain?
Raziel: And people say I go on about block puzzles! You kill him then! You're the one who seems so desperate to bump him off!
Moebius: You need only touch the two poles of the switch, and the device will transport you. But I urge you to reconsider...
Raziel: Bite my shiny metal ass!
Moebius: Come again?
Raziel disappears in a flash of special effects. When his vision clears, he finds himself in a neat, futuristic room, surrounded by people in clean uniforms, wearing strange little metallic badges.
Raziel: (VO) They say that what you say comes back to haunt you. It appears that the fates were listening to a throwaway remark I had made earlier, and stranded me in an episode of Star Trek: Voyager...
Janeway: Security alert!
Tuvok fires a phaser at Raziel, who promptly disappears into the spectral realm.
Janeway: Tuvok! You killed him!
Tuvok: Impossible. My phaser was set to stun...
Raziel re-emerges just behind Tuvok, and smashes him into dreamland.
Raziel: Jerk! What was that for?!
Kim: Captain! We've got bigger problems! A Borg ship just caught up with us!
Janeway: Put it on the screen!
On the screen, the giant cubical ship appears. Raziel's eyes widen, as the shape of the ship causes him to lose any form of self control.
Raziel: No...it can't be...it's...BLOCK PUZZLES!!! IT WAS THEM! THEY MADE THE BLOCK PUZZLES!!!
Raziel grabs Kim's console and transports himself to the Borg ship.
Borg: We are the Borg. Resistance is futile. You will be assim...
Raziel: BLOCK PUZZLES! HERE BLOCK PUZZLES! THERE BLOCK PUZZLES! EVERYWHERE I LOOK, BLOCK PUZZLES!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!!
Borg: Oh crap! Run!
For five minutes, Raziel runs around the Borg ship, laughing insanely and slashing at the Borg with the Soul Reaver. They try to adapt, but they've never had to adapt to a weapon that tears the souls out of their bodies and gobbles them up, so they fail. Finally, Raziel diappears back into Nosgoth, and the Borg limp back home, resolving to change the design of their future ships. And now you know why in later episodes the Borg started using sphere-shaped ships...