Sentences You Never Thought You'd Hear
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Sentences You Never Thought You'd Hear

To begin--the sentence that started all of this madness. Now, with PROOF for all you unbelievers. . .

  • Baker, California; Gateway to Death Valley.

    Many thanks to Godfrey Daniels for the use of his shot of Wagner with the thermometer. You can also read the letter I sent him, that started my always entertaining relationship with Wag.

  • Dan, don't bite the cat! (Olivia Henderson-to a 20 year old man)
  • Dan, don't bite the cat again!! (Olivia Henderson-etc.)
  • We have cake, we have Drano, we have cheese by the pound.
  • I can't help you if you writhe!
  • Fusion is like cream cheese. (Adam Johnston, Physics professor)
  • It's times like this I wish God had given me emotions.
  • Well, that horse was having a cow!!
  • And now. . .back to Jesus. (actual quote from the narrative of the Hollywood Wax Museum)
  • Did you know that if you push on your cheeks, it cleans out your spleen?
  • Common Courtesy is not a painful experience. (actual quote from the Utah DMV Handbook)
  • The colon is in the mail.
  • Quick! turn on the Weather Channel!!!!!
  • Don't blame me, Lady! Your pig started it.
  • That's the best piece of Limburger I've ever eaten.
  • I'm going to give her a wedgie the size of Utah! (Rosie O'Donnell on National Television)
  • It's like trying to count aomeoba. (referring to a classful of squirming college students)
  • Stop chewing on my zipper!! (Chris Henderson)
  • Okay, who stuck the caramel apple to the cat? (Livi)
  • Hello, I'm Satan! Put me on your coffee table! (Kelli Lucas)
  • Mike, could you die a little more to the left, please?
  • Do you like bacon? Can I see your gold medal? (Dave's Mom)
  • Do it again, and die slower this time!
  • I saw Jesus half-naked in the bathroom at the stake center. He told me to "feel free."
  • It was almost as if . . . an easter chicken was clawing its way out of my head. (Slider Red)
  • I have to bike over & pick up my opera & funeral photos. (Godfrey Daniels)
  • I thought it was a different Hitler cat picture. (Jeff Hansen)
  • If it's existing, it's probably already there. (Kerry Page)
  • Derrieretical perceptions have diverged. (Mark Henderson)
  • The colander is irresistible. (From an article about some tupperware art display.)
  • A serial killer took me on an Easter Egg hunt. (Sunny Layne)
  • It looks just like a baby duck's butt is stuck to my forehead. (Ariane Stevens)
  • Serb Military Court To Probe Captured GIs. (Yahoo News)

    • The Flying Porqupine