(my love is a southern redneck boy)

REDNECK LOVE POEM

Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue

and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

  Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.

Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

  You move like the bass, which excite me in May.

You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.

  Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.

Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

  You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;

I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

  On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,

well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

  Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,

what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.

  Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man,

to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.

  Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.

You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.

  Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,

you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

  When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,

my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

  Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.

despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

  Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,

we go together like a skunk goes with stank.

  Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;

They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.

  Some men git roses on that special day

from the cooler at Kroger. That's impressive," I say.

  Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.

"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

  But for this man, honey, these won't do.

Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you.

  I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,

more useful than diamonds...... IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!

  Luv, from yor romeo

  P.S. I think yore slicker'n snot on a door nob.

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