No More Uniblonder 
(to the tune of No More Mr Nice Guy by Alice Cooper)

They used to have some real good informants on our favorite show
In the first season, Deep Throat amused us, until they let him go
Without a word, in the season opener, they shot X
And now, they had a good opportunity, but then they gave us this.

No more Uniblonder
No more Icy Queen
No more Uniblonder
Don't say 'bee husbandry'

She looks so bored like she doesn't belong there
And we're not being mean
Help us, cause we are reallly tired of dead air
When she's on the screen

No more Uniblonder
No more wooden stare
No more Uniblonder
We say "Go away; we don't care"

Please Mr Carter, she needs a revision, only heaven knows
Give her some background or some kind of direction
Or some decent clothes.
But remember the fans who adore you from coast to coast
Cause if you pair her with Skinner or Mulder, that blonde bitch is toast

| Back to Filks |