Usual disclaimers. This week's selection is from an artist most
wrong-haired and prancy, and I hear tell the song has its own line
dance. I don't know why these evil tunes inspire me...has anyone
checked the Abbey water supply lately?

"Matter-Shifting Rawls"
formerly "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus

A big tornado hits, an inmate throws some fits
Fellows found in ashes, split in two
Before Fox says a word, "Mulder, shut up!" is heard
That's why I love St. Scully, yes I do

So Pinker's running free, goes on a shopping spree
Slips out of the lock-up as before
Heads to his old abode -- to find the bank payload?
Next Mulder's digging bullets from the door.

(chorus)
So don't mess with Rawls, that matter-shifting Rawls
The folks he meets keep gettin' dead
And if you don't help Rawls, he writes stuff on your walls,
And might just disintegrate your head

It's just alchemy, so says the fair Scully
But changing matter seems right to the Punk
At sister Jackie's pad, Rawls shows up and acts bad
And then he's holed up in the rental's trunk

They track down missing June, not a second too soon
Deduce that insulators stop Pinky
He's looking for his child, and with a few calls dialed
The agents know where son Trevor will be.

(chorus)

Trevor's not too keen with Daddy on the scene
Jackie hits Rawls with a pot of glass
But soon he's giving chase, runs all over the place
Watch Scully and Mulder nail his ass

Scully grabs Trevor's hand, runs where the phone booth stands
Wedges the door shut with her gun
The side sure does get smashed, then Rawls by car is trashed
Hits the windshield and his quest is done.

Author: Bryn

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