CSM: In that case, give me a bee license.

Senator: A license for your pet bee?

CSM: Yes.

Senator: Called Jean-Claude? Jean-Claude the Bee?

CSM: No.

Senator: No?

CSM: No, Jean-Claude Van Damn Bee. He is genetically engineered.

Senator: You're off your chump.

CSM: Look, if you intend by that utilization of an obscure colloquialism to imply that my sanity is not up to scratch, or indeed to deny the semi-existence of my little chum Jean-Claude Van Damn Bee, I shall have to ask you to listen to this! Take it away, Jean-Claude the orchestra leader!.......

A one... two.... A one.. two.. three..four...

[piano intro]

Van Damn Bee, philosophically, must, ipso facto, killer be.
But killer bee
has got to be
vis a vis
a stingery - for Scully?

'Twill be the bee
that will sting she
who's said to be
the X-Files key.
'Tis Van Damn Bee
from dark Tuni-
sia who shall sting for me.

Singing ...

La dee dee, 1 2 3,
Jean Claude Van Damn Bee.
A B C D E F G,
Jean Claude Van Damn Bee.

Is this wretched Van Damn Bee,
half asleep upon my knee,
some freak from geneticity?
No! It's Jean Claude Van Damn Bee.

Fiddle dee dum,
Fiddle dee dee,
Jean Claude Van Damn Bee.

Ho ho ho,
Tee hee hee,
Jean Claude Van Damn Bee.

I love this hive employee-ee-ee [with buzzing in background]
created geneticalla-lee
one summer afternoon by me
I love him carnally.

(Consortium Chorus:)
He loves him carnally... [together]

...semi-carnally

[spoken]
The end

'Cyril Connelly?'
No! 'Semi-carnally'
Oh!

Cyril Connelly [sung softly and slowly]

Author: Zara

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