From: Halrloprillalar
Subject: FILK: They'll None of 'Em Be Missed (1/1) 
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Filks just want to be free.

Dedicated to all minor characters on all shows everywhere and may
Wesley Crusher watch over you.

With deepest apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan.


Defer, defer, to the Lord High Executioner, Chris Carter.


CC:

As most days it seems to happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list--I've got a little list
Of mostly minor characters who really aren't renowned,
And who never would be missed--who never would be missed!
There's Scully's New Age sister who showed up a time or two--
All shapes and sorts of aliens who bubble into goo--
There's Mulder's old informants, both Deep Throat and Mr X--
And anyone at all whom I suspect of having sex--
And Scully's yappy dog can't be permitted to exist--
They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!

Chorus:

He's got 'em on the list--he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be miss'd!

CC:

Bill Patterson, Bill Mulder, and Bill Scully I include,
And Bill Junior won't be missed--I've got him on the list!
And local law enforcement when they're skeptical and rude,
They never would be miss'd--they never would be miss'd!
And any pleasant person who turns out to be a clone,
A cultured man whose silver hair is nicer than my own;
And Max Fenig the abductee with the trailer and the beard;
And those hackers, the Lone Gunmen who are really just too weird;
And red-headed Agent Pendrell who's a brilliant analyst--
I don't think he'd be missed--I'm sure he'd not be missed!

Chorus:

He's got him on the list--he's got him on the list;
And he don't think he'll be missed--he's sure he won't be miss'd!

CC:

There's Special Agent Spender with a life so melancholic,
No, really, I insist--I've got him on the list!
And his mother, dear Cassandra with a name that's all symbolic--
They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed.
And the dashing Alex Krycek whose allegiances are few;
And the surly AD Skinner who has seen the X-Files through,
And the Smoking Man and Gibson, Agent Fowley, and her cat--
I'll write the names on paper and I'll draw them from a hat
Since it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list.
We'll keep Mulder, we'll keep Scully--the rest will not be missed!

Chorus:

You may put 'em on the list--you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed!

[exeunt omnes]

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