Jose Chung
By Nicole Mason 
and Melissa "Merlin Missy" Wilson

Maybe to the tune of "Delta Dawn"

Jose Chung, what's that tale that you have spun?
Could it be a story of alien abductions?
And did I hear you say MIB's are gonna take you away 
And make you forget about Area 51?
  
He's thirty-six and they all still call him "Spooky."
All the folks around the Bureau say he had a thing with Flukey.
'Cause he walks around town with a cellphone in his hand,
Looking for a mysterious cigarette-smoking man.
 
In his younger days, they all called him "Rocky."
The MIB's said "UFO's are horsehockey.
You'd better tell them all it's just the planet Venus;
They'll think you're mad if you tell them that you've seen us."

Jose Chung, what's that tale that you have spun?
Could it be a story of alien abductions?
And did I hear you say MIB's are gonna take you away 
And make you forget about Area 51?

She's thirty-two and they all call her "Mrs. Spooky."
Which was only slightly better than Garfield's Pooky.
'Cause she walks around town with hair too red to be a man,
Trying to make Jose understand.  If she can.

In his younger days Blane played much D&D.
He "believed" and then he wanted to see.
Then a bleepin' UFO did ol' Blane spy,
And Scully promised if he told, he would die.
 
Jose Chung, what's that tale that you have spun?
Could it be a story of alien abductions?
And did I hear you say MIB's are gonna take you away 
And make you forget about Area 51?

She's sixteen and she wants to save the whole world.
He's seventeen and just wants to save the girl.
They engage in activities they're too young to understand (or appreciate)
And he knows her dad will ... hurt him.  If he can.

Mulder and Scully are called to autopsy a Grey.
Stupendous Yappi jumps into the fray,
Hosting a mysterious video done in white and black,
Neglecting to show the zipper down the back.

Jose Chung, what's that tale that you have spun?
Could it be a story of alien abductions?
And did I hear you say MIB's are gonna take you away 
And make you forget about Area 51?

Lt. Schaefer walks around in his birthday garments.
He used to pilot a UFO, abducting varmints,
'Til a Frohike look-alike abducted him one night.
Now he's scuplting 'taters by the "Ovaltine" light.

Trying to uncover the truth from the lie,
Mulder downed a whole sweet potato pie,
And ended up in Scully's room, but what the heck:
Blame it on Jesse Ventura and Alex Trebek.

Jose Chung, what's that tale that you have spun?
Could it be a story of alien abductions?
And did I hear you say MIB's are gonna take you away 
And make you forget about Area 51?

Now that the song no longer scans, we say,
If you should be abducted one happy day,
To keep your body breathing and warm,
Be sure to write everything down in screenplay form.

The End.

Authors: Nicole Masonand Melissa Wilson

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