One Show
(Barenaked Ladies "One Week")

It's been so long since you first met me
Held your hand out to mine and said "I'm Scully"
Five years since you laughed at me
Saying, "Time doesn't disappear, that just can't be."
Three years since the cosmos blew
‘Sure, fine, whatever;' Detective White bugged you
Finally, you believe in me
But it'll still be two months till we make the movie
Well, it's gonna be a long day, but what can I say?
I hope it's better than the Flukeman
All hope is gone, I'm their pawn, something strange is going on
It's getting creepy here or maybe it's just May again
Vampires living in a small town, they're pinning me down
But the undead's talents came through
The Truth calls me and I must go, but would you follow
If I promised not to ditch you?
We've both been prone to the unknown
Maybe your daughter was a clone
Samantha's missing, maybe CSM's my father
And when we hit the final bit and pieces fit
Our suspects split
And all this garbage makes me wonder why I bother
But can I help it if I think you're cute when you get mad?
That eyebrow makes me smile though I feel bad
I hope my search won't leave you crying at my funeral
I may not have found the Truth yet, but I soon will
I have a tendency to state my mind openly
I have a history of lapsing into guilt
It's been so long that you've trusted me
Can't you open your eyes and let yourself see?
Five years since you snapped at me
Were you really that jealous when I kissed Phoebe?
Three years since the cockroach spree
(And don't even think about mentioning Bambi!)
But you've always reconciled with me
And it'll still be two months till we make the movie
Cannibal people with Chaco Chicken
Have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Duane Barry's running with no lights on
A flash and you're gone
We'll be more careful after this one
Abduction and your cancer have me frantic
It could get romantic
You say you're fine but I won't take your word
But when you said your mind was made up
You'd never give up
It was the greatest thing I'd ever heard
We found a crazy Star Wars fan
And a facial morphing man
Paid you a visit but his face had a familiar ring
Even hidden in the gloom like a tomb from every room
I heard the BOOM of shippers fainting, cause they'll read it into anything
But can I help it if I think you're cute when you get mad?
That eyebrow makes me smile though I feel bad
I hope my search won't leave you crying at my funeral
I may not have found the Truth yet, but I soon will
I have a tendency to state my mind openly
I have a history of living in guilt
It's been too long since you've smiled at me
As you shattered some strange illogical theory
Five years since that panicked night
Do you still freak out when you find mosquito bites?
Three years since Big Blue got stewed
I still feel bad that your dog became gator food
Who knows what the next case will be
‘Cause it'll still be two months till we make the movie
Still be two months till we make the movie
Still be two months till we make the movie
Come on, Chris Carter, get with it already!

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