Return All The Sweaters
(with apologies as always to the Indigo Girls)


I am sorry to have set my sights
on shirts so scant of thread
all your comfortable* clothing  
maybe got shoved under the bed
Once upon a pilot your suits fit poorly
baggy, overlong
since that time you've started to tailor your clothes
but it's just a different kind of wrong

CHORUS:
Return all the sweaters 
        (something like small potatoes)
If just for scenes on the phone
        (just as long as *we* get to see)
return all the sweaters
        (breathe again, because now...)
no more jackets we can't condone
        (your ribcage is free)
return all the sweaters
at work, at home, wheree'er you go
they'e not pink like that shell neck
but they still let some of your cleavage show

We made do during the early years
ground our teeth through the beige
tolerated lack in season six
though we cheered at each hint of grayish**
but color is one thing, and cut's another
too-small clothing's too great a task
even our saint can't make her clothes look good
too-small clothes are too much to ask

Return all the sweaters 
        (something like small potatoes)
If just for scenes on the phone
        (just as long as *we* get to see)
return all the sweaters
        (breathe again, because now...)
no more jackets we can't condone
        (your ribcage is free)
return all the sweaters
wear them with pride, impunity
be they black, red, chartreuse,
they will still please OBSSE


*pronounced comfterble. c'mon, it looks stupid, 
 but you know you say it, too.

** yeah, you try finding a rhyme for "beige".

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