"Wannabe Scully-Style"  (original lyrics by the Spice Girls)

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna Mulder it's me.

Well to fight the future, Scully's the one
As a kickass role model, she's second to none
Being like Dana must take some time
Start with useful phrases -- always say "I'm fine."

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want....

If you wanna be like Scully, you gotta do autopsies
Learn your Y-incisions; know how to talk disease
If you wanna be like Scully, you got to forgive
Punk may not deserve it, but that's the way it is.

Make sure those new black pumps have at least a three-inch heel
You trust science for answers; vampires aren't real
You can't be squeamish 'bout things like bile
And there are big ol' giant bugs in the X-Files.

I'll tell you what I want...

If you wanna be like Scully, prepare to suffer loss
Loved ones die quite often, but you'll have a cute boss
If you wanna be like Scully, roll your eyes just right
Keep your cell phone handy since calls come late at night

So here's a tale of the Blessed One - you think her job is fun?
Well listen up; here's how it's done
You got a big flashlight, the killer's not in sight
But you're calm, you move on; once you spy the perp
Quickly pull out your gun with ease, he's a total sleaze
and as you yell "Stop!  Freeze!"
Slam the suspect down and keep him on the ground
Slam the suspect down and keep him on the ground.

If you wanna be like Scully, you're on the victim's side
There's a damn good reason if you have ever lied
If you wanna be like Scully, you're real skeptical
But you've seen a spaceship -- you said so in the snow.

If you wanna be like Scully, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta,
you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam
Slam the suspect down and keep him on the ground
Slam the suspect down and keep him on the ground
Slam the suspect down and keep him on the ground
Slam the suspect down Mulder it's me
If you wanna be like Scully.

Author's note:
Not that there's been a filk dearth around the Abbey lately, but here's a song. I wrote this back when people were suggesting that certain gentlemen of the X-Files masquerade as the Spice Girls (I remember something about Mulder and orange spandex). "Wannabe" is supposed to have a chorus and be really repetitive, but it was much more fun to keep writing new verses.

Oh. Look. RealLife is regaining consciousness. It's times like these when I wish I had a government-issued weapon. Wonder if I can smother it with my trenchcoat...aaaaaaaaah!

Bryn
(abducted by RealLife and its evil cohort, "ResearchPaperDueFriday")

Author: Bryn

| Back to Filks |