"Agent Scully"
To the tune of Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Prima Donna"


Mulder:
The planet needs you!

Skinner:
We need you too!

Scully:
Would you not rather have your precious little ingenue?

Mulder & Skinner: 
Saint Scully, no!
The world wants you!

Agent Scully, first lady of the files
Your devotees are on their knees to implore you
Can you bow out when they're shouting your name?

Mulder:
Think of how they all adore you!

Both:
Agent Scully, enchant us once again

Mulder:
Think of the bees

Skinner:
And of the pleas from your partner!

Both:
Can you deny us your wisdom and lore?
Work, Agent Scully, once more!

Spender:
Someone spoke of an agent

Scully:
Agent Scully, your science shall return

Mulder & Skinner:
Think of the X-Files!

Scully:
They went too far, but there's a partner who needs you

Margaret:
She has been the voice of the reason and science

Mulder & Skinner:
Those who hear your voice liken you to a genius!

Scully:
Sure, it's no cry of undying support

Spender:
Is this our angel of science?

Skinner:
We get the X-Files!

Mulder:
She gets her logic

Scully:
But follow where your science leads you!

Melissa:
Who's her partner, agent or madman?

Spender:
…Agent or madman?

Skinner & Mulder (aside):
Talking through it is a trial!

Scully:
Agent Scully, this treatment will go on

Margaret:
Heaven help you, those who doubt

Scully:
You're right again, but tell me when will he listen?

Spender:
Orders! Warnings!
Lunatic demands!

Margaret:
To ignore her
Would invite damnation

Mulder/Skinner:
Leads, clues
Lunatic informants are regular occurrences!

Melissa:
Truth or damnation?
Which has claimed them?

Scully:
Still, he needs you by him just like before
Work, Agent Scully,
Once more!

Margaret:
Oh, fools, to have flouted her warnings!

Spender:
Surely, for Truth's sake

Melissa:
Surely, she'll be back

Mulder/Skinner:
Surely, there'll be more crises
Worse than this!

Margaret:
Think, before
These theories are rejected!

Spender:
I must see 
These theories are rejected!

Melissa:
If her points
And theories are rejected!

Mulder/Skinner:
Who'd believe a diva
Happy to relieve an evil lass
Who's been and slept with CSM?
We don't know why she's there
Or even if we care!
Is she part of the plot?
We wish that she was not!

Melissa/Spender:
Dana/Scully must be attended!

Scully:
O, fortunata!
Non ancor
Abbandonata!*

Mulder/Skinner:
This would all get scrubbed
In an em-oh-tee-dub'**
But if it's hyped all fall
And makes no sense at all
It's just the sort of story
Audiences abhor,
In fact the perfect Mytharc!

Spender:
This game is over!

Margaret:
This is a game
You cannot hope to win!

Spender:
In the Basement
A new game will begin

Margaret:
For, if some curse is on the X-Files

Melissa:
But, if a curse is on the X-Files

Mulder/Skinner
Agent Scully
The world is at your feet!
The basement waits
And how it hates to be cheated!

Scully:
The stress that pushes down on
Those the Consortium frowns on!
Alien diseases
And Antarctic freezes!
Still, the bravest few
Will reach the weakest clue
In search of perfect science!

Spender:
Fowley takes the backseat,
Scully gets the limelight

Margaret:
should you plan to

Melissa:
when you once again

All:
Light up our lives
With that age-old rapport!
Work, Agent Scully,
Once more!

CSM:
So! It is to be war between us! If these demands 
are not met, a disaster beyond your imagination 
will occur!

All:
Once more!

* The original Italian. Since I have no clue what it 
means, I decided not to mess with it.
** The closest approximation in meter and pronunciation
 that I could come to MotW.

-Tabby
the princess with claws

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