The ASSISTANT DIRECTORS' CHORALE exits stage right as SCULLY and SKINNER enter from stage left. (Sung to the tune of Willow, tit-willow, from The Mikado. Do not even ask me why I keep thinking of these ridiculous Gilbert and Sullivan filks.) SCULLY: I'm finding it hard to believe it myself But I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant. I thought all my ova were up on a shelf Yet I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant. SKINNER: Don't you worry, my red-headed mother to be. Your gestational secret is quite safe with me. I'll tell none in the Bureau what you've just told me: That you're pregnant, you're pregnant, you're pregnant. The CHORUS OF RELIGIOUS WACKOS enters from stage left. CHORUS OF RELIGIOUS WACKOS: Come out and shake hands with our dear savior slug. SCULLY: No! I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant! CHORUS OF RELGIOUS WACKOS: He'll burrow up into your spine nice and snug. SCULLY: But I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant! CHORUS OF RELIGIOUS WACKOS: He'll squirm into your brain with a squeeze and a shove Make himself comfy like a hand in a glove. You'll be crippled for good, but at least you'll be loved. SCULLY: But I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant! Skinner exits and the Evil Ob-gyn enters stage left: EVIL OB-GYN: You're going to start showing soon, Dana, my dear 'Cause you're pregnant, you're pregnant, you're pregnant. SCULLY: I know, and it seems like it's been a full year Since I got pregnant, got pregnant, got pregnant. But the mystery remains, how I got in this state. The writers don't know, so we'll all have to wait. EVIL OB-GYN: (with a knowing sneer) Are you missing a large turkey baster of late? SCULLY: Oh, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant!Author: Special Pants | Back to Filks | |