The ASSISTANT DIRECTORS' CHORALE exits stage right as 
SCULLY and SKINNER enter from stage left.

(Sung to the tune of Willow, tit-willow, from The Mikado. 
Do not even ask me why I keep thinking of these ridiculous 
Gilbert and Sullivan filks.)

SCULLY:
I'm finding it hard to believe it myself
But I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant.
I thought all my ova were up on a shelf
Yet I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant.

SKINNER:
Don't you worry, my red-headed mother to be.
Your gestational secret is quite safe with me.
I'll tell none in the Bureau what you've just told me:
That you're pregnant, you're pregnant, you're pregnant.

The CHORUS OF RELIGIOUS WACKOS enters from stage left.

CHORUS OF RELIGIOUS WACKOS:
Come out and shake hands with our dear savior slug.

SCULLY:
No! I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant!

CHORUS OF RELGIOUS WACKOS:
He'll burrow up into your spine nice and snug.

SCULLY:
But I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant!

CHORUS OF RELIGIOUS WACKOS:
He'll squirm into your brain with a squeeze and a shove
Make himself comfy like a hand in a glove.
You'll be crippled for good, but at least you'll be loved.

SCULLY:
But I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant!

Skinner exits and the Evil Ob-gyn enters stage left:

EVIL OB-GYN:
You're going to start showing soon, Dana, my dear
'Cause you're pregnant, you're pregnant, you're pregnant.

SCULLY:
I know, and it seems like it's been a full year
Since I got pregnant, got pregnant, got pregnant.
But the mystery remains, how I got in this state.
The writers don't know, so we'll all have to wait.

EVIL OB-GYN: (with a knowing sneer)
Are you missing a large turkey baster of late?

SCULLY:
Oh, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant!


Author: Special Pants

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