I've put up for some time with each lame plot device,
And I yell when my Saint isn't treated so nice.
From time to time, I sit back in awe;
Writing's divine...it's a tug-of-war; once angst whore,
Here I'm cheering "Files Lite? Yeah, more!"
Scully's right and killer cats I forget,
Then she's wrong and I smack my TV set!

Mister Carter, swing me to and fro,
Uh huh, Dramamine's a calling,
Mister Carter, it's your show I know,
But, man, sometimes it's appalling.
Yes, I did pitch a big fit
When you took back "I saw it,"
And just where is Scully's damn nameplate?
Mister Carter, it's been love and hate,
Poor fans, subject to your switch-and-bait.

I've been known to complain bout the clothes and hair arc,
Then "Arcadia" aired and it caught me mid-snark,
I saw those curls with those latex gloves
And smashing pearls; in the closet she then was trapped,
And something within me snapped.
Scully smiles and I forgive the bad parts,
The next scene you have her shot near the heart!

Mister Carter, swing me to and fro,
Uh huh, Sunday's motion sickness,
Mister Carter, it's your show I know,
But, hey, can Scully get ditched less?
Yes, I've seen "All Souls" glory,
I love "Memento Mori,"
Heck yeah, eps like these are just first-rate.
Mister Carter, bring Ma Scully back,
No more virus bearing bad bees,
Mister Carter, let the Gunmen hack,
No more cloying Agent Fowleys.

Mister Carter, here we go once more;
How bout Dana's corner office?
Mister Carter, nix the Scullygore;
Red suits -- that's a key to my bliss.
Yes, I have cried and I've whined
When Dr. Scully's sidelined,
Why why do I keep on watching, then?
Mister Carter, again and again
Gives us The Saint (just ignore pained men).

Author: Bryn

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