X-FILES
(to the tune of "Downtown" by Petula Clark)

When you're alone and life is driving you loony,
You can always watch...
X-Files.
When you're so worried all the flukemen and furies 
Seem to hurt, I'know...
X-Files.

Just tune into the TV with the agents in the city
Mulder's chasing monsters and Scully is so pretty
How can you lose?
Weird Lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles
Forget all your cares
And Watch X-Files!
Things will be great on the...
X-Files!
Showing on Sunday Night,
X-Files!
U-S-T waiting for you...
(X-Files...X-Files....)

Don't hang around and let the Green bugs surround you,
There are gooey shows;
X-Files...
Maybe you know some groovy websites to go to
Where David & Gillian pose.
X-Files!

Just tune into the X-Files where you know the Humor's Drollin' 
You'll be cheering for them before the credits start a'rollin'..
Happy again...
Crime scenes are much darker there
You can forget all your troubles
Forget all your cares...
And Watch X-Files!
UFO lights so Bright...
X-Files!
Ab-ducting you tonight!!
X-Files!
You're gonna get a fright now...
X-Files...X-Files...

(Horn section solos)

And you may find a old Phile who will help and understand you
Or someone who is just like you and needs a gentle post to guide them along
So Maybe we'll see them smooch
Or save the Lone Gunmen
and Scully's Pomeranian Pooch
So watch X-Files!
Things will be great on the...
X-Files!
Just lost nine minutes more...
X-Files!
Terror is waiting for you....

X-Files...X-Files...X-Files....

Thankya..thankyaverymuch...

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