Dirty Jokes

Q: If there is two gay guys, and two lesbians, that are going to move, which ones would move quicker?
A: The gay guys, because they already have their shit packed.
(GreenD14)

~~~At the Post:~~~
And they're off!
Conscience is left behind at the post early. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured and It looks like Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is in a very precarious spot.

~~~At the Halfway Mark:~~~
It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs wide open and Big Dick is pressed inside. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Looks like Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. And Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.

~~~At The Stretch:~~~
Merry Cherry has finally cracked under the strain. Big Dick is making a final drive. Bare Belly is in and Passionate Lady is coming.

~~~At The Finish:~~~
It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Dick has to offer. It looked like things were in a dead heat but Big Dick comes through with one final thrust and wins by a head.

~~~The Standings:~~~
...Bare Belly shows.
...Thighs weakens.
...Heavy Bosom pulls up.
...And Clean Sheets just never had a chance.
(Jestrocort)

I'm sure you can imagine, it's a simple as you can be, the world full of private things the player he had and she. She whispered "Will it hurt?" he answered "of course not its just a simple process, lie back, and rest your knees."
She said "I'm frightened, i never did this before"
He answered "It won't hurt much" and he started. The pain is getting worse and tears came into her eyes. It hurts so awfully it must be quite the size. He started working harder, his face held no sigh.
He said "Just open sideways so I can get more inside".
Suddenly with a lump he and she gave alitle shout. It's all over, finally thank goodness, he pulled it out.

He's a Dentist, you will see,

It's not what you were thinking.
It was all in your Dirty Mind.
(the doctor was pulling out a
tooth.)

(SJanes16)

SEXUAL TENSION QUIZ
(Tip: Think dirty)

(Answers Below)

A. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes.
When I'm not well, I drip.
When you blow me, you feel good.
(What Am I?)

B. I'm spread before I'm eaten.
Your tongue gets me off.
People sometimes lick my nuts.
(What Am I?)

C. I assist an erection.
Sometimes big balls hang from me.
I'm called a big swinger.
(What Am I?)

D. Over 1,000 people went down on me.
I wasn't maiden for long.
A big hard thing ripped me open.
(What Am I?)

E. You stick your poles inside me.
You tie me down to get me up.
I get wet before you do.
(What Am I?)

F. When I go in I cause pain.
I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow.
I can fill your hole.
(What Am I?)

G. A finger goes in me.
You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first.
(What Am I?)

H. All day long, it's in and out.
I discharge loads from my shaft.
Both men and women go down on me.
(What Am I?)

I. I go in hard.
I come out soft.
You blow me hard.
(What Am I?)

J. If I miss, I hit your bush.
It's my job to stuff your box.
When I come, it's news.
(What Am I?)

K. I offer Protection.
I get the finger ten times.
You use your fingers to get me off.
(What Am I?)

L. I have a stiff shaft.
My tip penetrates.
I come with a quiver.
(What Am I?)

M. My business is briefs.
I am a cunning linguist.
I plead and plead for it.
(What Am I?)

N. I make some guys shoot in the air.
I usually have a little pecker.
I'm better in your hand than in your bush.
(What Am I?)

Answers:

A. Nose H. Elevator
B. Peanut Butter I. Chewing Gum
C. Crane J. Newspaper Boy
D. Titanic K. Glove
E. Tent L. Arrow
F. Dentist M. An attorney
G. Wedding Ring N. Bird
(sjanes16)