Last week I talked about understanding. That it is easier to love someone who is different from us once we understand them: once we understand their intentions or motives are good but their actions may look strange to us simply because we have different values.

However, what about when people act without good intentions as far as we know? Actions that we think are motivated by hate, or fear, or lust, or greed? We can try and understand once again although it is far more difficult. For instance, if we know someone has been abused as a child we may think we understand why they become a troubled adult. However, this kind of information is often unavailable to us. Even when we talk about cultural differences there may not be understanding. So when understanding is not available, what is our Christian response? We are still called to love people, but it is certainly more difficult.

Today, I want to talk to you about forgiveness. Forgiveness is how we can love people even when we don't understand people. Forgiveness is a leap of faith. In forgiveness, we admit we don't understand, but are willing to love anyway.

Jesus says in the passage from John, "Forgive others so that you may be forgiven." This is a sentiment that can be found in the other gospels. In the Lord's prayer we ask God to forgive our sins like we forgive those who sin against us. This may scare people on the face of it, because we link the ability for our sins to be forgiven to salvation. Thus, it may sound like we have to forgive people to be saved ourselves. But this is not part of Christian theology. We understand that Jesus makes this connection between forgiveness and forgiving so that we don't become hypocrites.

Old Joe was dying. For years he had been at odds with Bill, formerly one of his best friends. Wanting to straighten things out, he sent word for Bill to come and see him. When Bill arrived, Joe told him that he was afraid to go into eternity with such a bad feeling between them. Then, very reluctantly and with great effort, Joe apologized for things he had said and done. He also assured Bill that he forgave him for his offenses. Everything seemed fine until Bill turned to go. As he walked out of the room, Joe called out after him, "But, remember if I get better, this doesn't count!"

Ideally we remember the infinite love God shows us when we deal with other people. But being human, we find it impossible to love everyone. The good news is that we can be forgiven. Being human, we find it impossible to forgive everyone, but the good news is we can be forgiven even for this.

The question remains to be asked, what is forgiveness? How can we forgive? The first form that forgiveness takes is a feeling. When we hold hatred, or anger, or fear towards someone and, inside our own hearts, we decide to let that go we are experiencing the feeling of forgiveness. We decide we going to come to peace our feelings toward that person. This is a good thing. It allows us to grow. As long as we have those hard feeling towards someone, we are only hurting ourselves. We prevent ourselves from loving, from finding joy and peace.

Some recent medical and psychological research seems to verify this. Research results found that people who forgive:

1) benefit from better immune functioning and lower blood pressure
2) have better mental health than people who do not forgive
3) feel better physically
4) have lower amounts of anger and fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression
5) maintain more satisfying and long-lasting relationships

Oh Lord, remember not only the men and woman of good will, but also those of ill will. But do not remember all of the suffering they have inflicted upon us: Instead remember the fruits we have borne because of this suffering - our fellowship, our loyalty to one another, our humility, our courage, our generosity, the greatness of heart that has grown from this trouble. When our persecutors come to be judged by you, let all of these fruitts that we have borne be their forgiveness. (A prayer found in the clothing of a dead child at Ravensbruck concentration camp.)

The second thing form that forgiveness takes, besides being just a feeling, is not taking revenge. Forgiveness is not giving into someone, being a doormat, taking abuse, being taken advantage of, trusting someone, giving up your rights. Forgiving a spouse doesn't mean you can't leave them, forgiving a criminal doesn't mean you don't press charges. Showing forgiveness can simply mean not actively seeking to harm the person who has harmed you. It does not preclude justice.

I had a friend once whose boyfriend was a bum. He was always asking for money, he was always late for things, we couldn't be trusted. Every time he betrayed her he always made up and asked for her forgiveness. She thought it was the Christian response to forgive him, so she did every time. And she thought that forgiving him meant she had to keep going out with him. When she eventually did break up with him, the anger she felt towards him after accumulated to the point where it took her a long time to really forgive him in her heart.

These kind of actions are not actions of forgiveness, because they do not help the person you are forgiving. They only hurt yourself. In this sense, forgiveness is actually much easier than many of us think, because it involves lack of action - not taking revenge. In fact, this was what Jesus was specifically addressing when talking about forgiveness, because revenge was a big part of the Jewish culture at the time he was preaching.

Sometimes when we forgive someone lack of revenge is the only way it can be expressed. However, forgiveness can have a third form. We can turn that feeling of forgiveness in our hearts into action when we have some power to affect the situation for the better and some insight as to how to do it. For instance, we have power when we are dealing with our children, or employees, or when we have money, or time, or resources that we can bring to bear to the situation. We have insight when we know enough about the people involved that we can guess how our actions will benefit those around us.

After WWI the victorious allies blamed Germany for the war and forced Germany to pay them money and put many ongoing restrictions on the German state. This created a lot of resentment in Germany which fueled the rise of the Nazi's and led to WWII. But after WWII, the victories allies, led by the US, put money into Germany and Japan and rebuilt these countries. The result was that they become healthy democratic countries that are strong allies of the US. Forgiveness put into action can lead to wonderful results. It is a practical guide to living.

When the first missionaries came to Alberta, they were savagely opposed by a young chief of the Cree Indians named Maskepetoon. But he did end up converting to Christianity. Shortly afterward, a member of the Blackfoot tribe killed his father. Maskepetoon rode into the village where the murderer lived and demanded that he be brought before him. Confronting the guilty man, he said, "You have killed my father, so now you must be my father. You shall ride my best horse and wear my best clothes." In utter amazement and remorse his enemy exclaimed," My son, now you have killed me!" He meant, of course, that the hate in his own heart had been completely erased by the forgiveness and kindness of the Indian chief.

There's a Spanish story of a father and son who had become estranged. The son ran away, and the father set off to find him. He searched for months to no avail. Finally, in a last desperate effort to find him, the father put an ad in Madrid newspaper. The ad read" Dear Paco, meet me in front of this newspaper office at noon on Saturday. All is forgiven. I love you. Your Father." On Saturday, 800 Pacos showed up, looking for forgiveness and love from their fathers.

So let us not think of forgiveness as some ideal that we can't reach. Think of forgiveness as working on letting go of the anger and resentment we feel towards someone. We don't need to worry about actions to take from that forgiveness. We can have the faith that God will help us with any actions stemming from our sense of peace and love. So let us rejoice in the peace that forgiveness brings. Let us remember the joy that God gives us when God forgives our sins when we deal with others. Let us rejoice that we, too, have the power to forgive. Amen.

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